Sabree's POV
It's been two weeks. Stacy and I still haven't made up. He won't even look at me. . . I honestly don't blame him. I broke my promise, got stoned, drunk and I made out with Tony. Gross. All of this happened in the course of two hours, even. Tony. That reminds me, I have to find out if he remembers anything about the party. He whizzes past me on his skateboard, but I reach my hand out and grab the hood of his jacket to yank him off.
"Shit! Damn, Bree Bree! What's sooooo important that it can't wait 'til I'm done shredding?" He laughs. Bree Bree? Ugh. This boy has some serious issues.
I shoot him a disgusted look, "Don't ever callme that again," I snap. "Tony, do you remember anything about the party last weekend?
Tony's features tangle into a confused look, and he tries hard to recollect the events of his killer house party, "Nope, sorry chicka. Is there anything I should remember? Anything important?"
Oh, I just love how he emphasizes 'important'. But, thank god. Just the answer I was looking for. "Ha. In your dreams, Alva. No, I just can't remember shit."
He shrugs then hops right back on his board to rejoin the gang.
Well, I can check that off the list. That was the easy part of today, though. You would never think it takes so much confidence to just smile at someone. Even if it just is a fake smile. Well. . .it is quite hard when the particular person you're trying to pass that fake smile at seemingly hates you with every fiber of their being. No. . .Stacy couldn't hate me. Could he? I shudder at the thought of Stacy Peralta hating me before I even got a chance to know him. He looks over at me, I almost missed my chance! So, with what little courage I have at the moment, I smile in his direction, hoping for only the best reaction.
He looks right past me. Almost like I wasn't even there. I knew it. I knew it! A waste of confidence, that was. I give up. I press my spine against the back wall then sink down, burying my face in the comfort of my hands. Really, I am trying my hardest to accept the fact that Stacy does hate me and move on.
But that damn voice in the back of my head keeps stopping me. You know that little voice that tells you when you're doing something wrong? That one. I was always convinced I never had one of those, but it keeps pounding itself into the back of my head. 'Apologize! Apologize to Stacy! Give it a shot!' it screams over and over again, until I can't take it anymore.
"Okay…okay fine. I'll go try to apologize."I mutter, picking myself up.
I suppose I never noticed how well, tall, Stacy is. Not until this very moment, as I creep up behind him.
"Stace? Can I talk to you for a sec?"
He looks at me. And, if only for a moment, his eyes have that. . .that gleam in them when he looks at me. It's almost mesmerizing. And to think I'm the cause of his eyes loosing that sparkle. At the sight of me, the spiteful look returns but he nods his head, and follows me to my wall.
I position myself against the wall again, "Look, Stace...I am really, really sorry about what happened at Tony's party. I broke my promise to you and you had to see me act that way with Tony." I shudder as my mind begins to produce images of how that must've looked to Stacy.
"It's fine, Sabe." He says. Now, 'its fine' normally coming from Stacy Peralta would be acceptable. .. if he had meant it. This 'it's fine' is emotionless, hollow.
It's fine? I knew this was a lost cause. I groan, and get ready to walk away. Cue tiny voice of reason. "No, it's not. I mean…what I did wasn't cool. I should have stopped it sooner-"
He cuts me off, "Sabe, it's fine, really." I can't stand the coldness in his voice. I didn't think Stacy was possible of achieving a freeze out of this magnitude.
"No, it's not!" I yell, causing the heads of Ty, Sid, Jay and Tony to snap up in unison. If this were some sort of play, the spotlight would be beaming down on me and Stace right now.
Tony's eyebrows furrow together and he gets that stupid ass look on his face, "Dude, what's goin' on?" Tyler shrugs it off. I guess I owe him an apology, too.
I bite my tongue. Oops. I repeat my last statement, this time remembering to use my 'inside voice.' "Stacy, look, it's not fine, alright?" I take a deep breath before continuing, "Okay, it's not fine. This is a really big deal to me. . .mostly because I've never had to say sorry to someone and actually mean it. But, I guess I've never hurt anyone this badly and wanted to apologize."
Stacy bites his lower lip, as if he's processing my apology, trying to figure out if he should forgive me or not. I wish he'd say something. This silence is killing me, and I think I might explode from the anticipation if he doesn't give me an answer soon. It doesn't make sense though. Why do I care so much if Stacy forgives me or not? There has to be some explanation. Unless I have feelings for Stacy…No, that can't be it. I haven't known him that long at all.
After what seemed like forever, I think Stacy finally makes his decision. Certainly not the one I was hoping for. He looks through me once more and shakes his head, before walking away.
Game over, I think, hiding my face in my hands again. I slip down to the ground and stay there for a few moments, before Sid slides in to the spot next to me.
He grins, brown eyes wide and sparkling. "Hey, Sabe."
I look up at the kindly boy and smile slightly, "Hey."
"Hey, what's going on between you and Stace? I haven't seen him this down since the whole Jay/Kathy thing."
My jaw just sort of hangs open. "Shit. I really fucked up, didn't I?" I sigh, "At T.A's party the other night, Stacy and I were just talking about Kathy. Then Tony comes up and says he was gunna get stoned with Shogo, and he wanted me to come. Anyways, I went, but before that I promised Stace I wouldn't drink or smoke very much. Well, about two hours later, I come out with Tony, drunk and stoned as all hell, and, I don't know, I guess we sorta made out, or whatever and Stacy saw. So not only did I break my promise to him, he also saw me with Tony. Slutty, stoned, drunk me. I tried apologizing, but I guess I was right. It's a lost cause. I mean, Stacy won't so much as glance in my direction, Sid."
Sid gives me a sympathetic look, resting his head against mine.
"Don't worry about it. Just give him some time. It's impossible for Stacy to stay mad at some one, no matter what they did."
I give him an odd look, he chuckles. "See Adams, Jay for example number one.
I nod understandingly, and wrinkle my nose at the slight mention of Jay's name, "Thanks, Sid. Anyway, I'm gunna head home. Just tell Ty I don't feel good, or something."
He nods and pats me on the back before I get up, "Yeah. Sure, whatever you want, Sabe."
o.o
"Mia? Larry? I'm home!" I call. No response. Weird. They should be home. I kick my board off to the side.
"In the kitchen, Sabree." I hear Mia call. I wander into the kitchen and my eyes meet up with the sight Larry, Mia, and Paula all gathered around the table. Like I haven't seen this scene before. Either Mia and Larry have decided to get rid of me, or I got caught smoking. Both are very likely scenarios.
"What's going on?" I ask lightly, making my way over to the round kitchen table.
"Ah, Ms. Thomas, sit." Paula opens with a smile, patting at an empty chair between her and Mia. I take my spot and Mia nearly bursts into tears, taking my hand in hers.
"Sabree, honey, I'm afraid something's come up," She begins. Somethings came up? Oh, great. That is just what I need. "It's about your father."
My father? What does my dad have to do with anything? "And?"
This is the part where Paula raises begin to fiddle with the buttons on her jacket, her own habit before breaking big news, "And, he wants you to come back and live with him. He says he went through rehab, he's gotten a better paying job. He's better now, honey."
Yeah, but Karen is still there. . .I add mentally. The news knocks me speechless.
"But, he can't do that. Can he?
Paula grimaces, "Oh, Sabe, I'm afraid he can. All he has to do is pay your child support and sign a few papers by the end of the month. But, Mia and Larry can take him to court for complete custody, if you want, that is."
Of course I wanted them to take my dad to court. I didn't want to go back there. I don't buy that "I went to rehab" excuse. He's gone to 'rehab' every year since I was put into foster care. "So that's it? He signs a few papers, pays child support, and if we lose the case, I go back?
She nods, "I'm afraid so. But, remember, he does have until the end of the month."
I've heard enough. . . I push my chair back, and high tail it upstairs. I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe how simple it is to take me back. . .
Tears begin to blur my vision as I face down a picture of my dad and I. . I was five at the time, and my light blonde hair had been strewn into two long pigtails, and my mother had dressed in a little pink and white checkered dress, and my dad was holding me, balancing me on his hip. That was when I actually had a family. . .but now that all seemed so far away.
All the anger pent up inside me finally spills out, causing me knock the picture to the ground. And I watch as the glass breaks, and scatters all over the ground. I hate him. I hate him so much. The tears finally make their way down my face. Fast, burning tears splatter themselves on the broken glass.
A light reflects off one of the larger shards of glass among the small slivers, and catches my eye automatically. I lean over to pick it up. I let it slip through my fingers a few times, contemplating what do with it. Fuck it. My life's already a wreck anyways. I press the tip of the glass into my skin and rip it across my wrist. The red liquid comes running down my arm. It's warm. . .
Self mutilation was all too new of a concept for me. It's so. . .unknown. Unspoken of. No one else I know possibly knows the rush that comes with the pain. It's almost an out of body experience. . .like doing drugs without the price of getting caught. I love it. So I do it again. And again. And again once more. Four fresh, red cuts one after another.
I drop the glass into a place only to be found by me, then walk to the bathroom to clean myself up. It's almost rewarding to watch the water and blood merge. Self worth, I think is what this is. Yeah, self worth. I rub my wrist with a towel to dry off the water. 10:00 Stacy's shift should be ending soon.
'Just give him some time' Sid's words resound in my head. Maybe this was enough time? I shut my door, shut off my light, and throw on my hoodie. Then I creep towards my always open bedroom window. Lucky for me, a tall oak tree grew right outside my window. Within jumping distance of my roof. I crawl out and crouch down on the shingled roof for a moment and slowly stand up, steadying myself to reach over to a sturdy branch.
To Venice Noodle Company! I think, rather heroically, as I shimmy down my main escape route. I pull the arm of my sweater down to hide the strawberry gashes marking my glowy skin. I must say. . .the time spent in the sun has done wonders for my skin. But, for now, the cuts will be my little secret.
….
The bell attached to the top of the door called out as I entered the empty building known as Venice Noodle Company. It wasn't very often that this place was so barren, so I admit, it's a bit odd to in this place crowded with only those who were put on night shift. I don't see Stacy, which leads me to believe he's finished up early for the night. I sigh and begin to think my brave escape was all for nothing.
As I turn to leave, but a tall blonde catches my eye. It's got to be Stacy, as his co-workers are about half his size, brunettes, and females. I snag a seat in the booth his about to bus. He comes up, laughing at one of his co-workers comments.
"Yeah, good one, Carla." He stops upon seeing me. But this time he doesn't look hateful. . .he looks surprised.
"Hey, Stace." I offer him a smile and a wave.
"Hey," he says, casually. His voice is back to the normal chipper 'Stacy' tone. That's always a good thing. Always.
Silence passes through the two of us for an awkward minute, before Stacy askes, "What are you doing here, Sabree?"
I shrug, searching for a lie. "I just came to see how you were doing. I mean, you looked pretty pissed today, and I know it's because of me."
He nods, "Yeah. I was pretty pissed at you." Ouch. That kind of hurt. He then smiles, and shakes his head, "But I'm over it now. Just promise me you'll never pull a stunt like that again. And I mean really promise me?"
A chuckle escapes my lips, but I nod, "I promise. I will never ever pull a stunt like that again."
"Good," he glances at the watch on his wrist, "it's late. I'll give you a ride home; I really don't want you walking alone. Venice ain't the safest place to be at night."
"Thanks. But, I don't feel like going home quite yet."
Stacy shrugs, "That's fine by me. My dad doesn't expect me home until about twelve anyway."
….
Stacy's POV
I shiver a bit, as the cool night breeze passes through my jacket. I didn't mind. I stop, fold my arms across my chest, and look out at the ocean. I've never been at the beach this late at night before. The shining silver stars lining the indigo colored sky reflect in the water, the large pale moon hovering not far above the restless ocean.
Sabree joins me, hoping on the hood of my car. She smiles, almost like she was recalling a fond memory. "I love the beach at night. Me and my sister used to come here all the time.
How did I know? I smile softly, brushing some hair behind my ear. "You know, I've lived here all my life, but I've never been to the beach this late." I pause. "I didn't know you had a sister."
She laughs lightly, and nods, "Yeah. Karlee, she's eighteen now. But I was about eight the last time I saw her. This was before my family came to a screeching halt. My dad started the affair with Karen about a year into working his new job. When my mom found out, she was furious. So she took Karlee and left. It was after that when Karen got my dad into smoking pot and drinking alcohol. That's when everything changed. It was like, Karen would do or say anything to make my dad hit me."
I bit my lower lip, and regret asking the question. "Wow, Sabe. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"
She shakes her head, "No, it's okay. I remember the first time my dad hit me, actually. It was pretty late at night and I had just back from Leah's house. I was going to me room so I could get some sleep. My dad was piss drunk when I came home. I think he forgot I was with Leah. . so he asked where I was. When I looked up to answer him, I saw a wine glass shatter against the wall behind me. 'Sabree, why the fuck did you steal from my wallet?' he said. Then he shoved me up against the wall and landed a punch right in my stomach."
"Sabe, that sounds awful. No body should have to put up with that."
She shrugs, "Really, it's ok. I mean, I'm with Tyler now, and I never have to go back to him again." She looks at the ground, and kicks at the sand with the toe of her Converse. I feel terrible for making her recall something so horrible.
Sabree's POV
Silence takes place of conversation again. I think it upset Stacy a bit that he asked. It's not a big deal, really. Not to me, anyway. I keep my gaze focused on the ground, and close my eyes. I feel Stacy make a slight movement. I look out of the corner of my eye. His arm is draped gingerly across my shoulders, like he's trying to comfort me or something. Whatever he is trying to do, it's working.
The call of gulls snaps my attention upward and I laugh slightly. I can't believe I'm about to tell this to Stacy. "I used to hate birds."
He looks at me in a funny way, "Because they could fly. I was always so jealous. Even after my mom left with Karlee, I would always sit outside and watch them. And I'd wish that I could fly, too, so I could just get away from my dad and his stupid girlfriend. But, that stays between us. And only between us. No body knows that, and I'd like to keep it that way."
He laughs, "Alright, you got it. I'll keep my mouth shut."
"Good. Hey, Stace, what time is it?"
"Almost 11:30, why?"
"Shit. I need to get back. Mia and Larry know that even I can go so long without food."
"Wait, they don't know you're out?" He asks, tilting his head to the side.
I shake my head, "They haven't the slightest clue."
He grins, "Well, I guess some things never change, eh?"
I roll my eyes, giving him a playful shove, "Yeah, yeah. Just take me home, Peralta."
….
"Thanks, Stace. I appreciate the ride home." I say and watch him slowly pull up behind my house.
"Nah, it's not a big deal." He shrugs, "Just get in there before you do end up getting caught."
I smile at him one last time before I exit his car. "Bye, Stace." I say before I run to my escape root.
The light in my room clicks on, and, as luck would have it, Larry and Mia we're sitting on my bed, expecting a good excuse as to why I came home at almost twelve o' clock at night.
"Well, young lady?! What do you have to say for yourself?" Larry snaps. I feel my temperature begin to boil.
"Sabree Ann Thomas, what do you think you are doing being out so late? And without our consent! Who were you with, Sabree?" Mia snipes at me.
"Just a friend. And I don't need your consent, you're not my parents," Oh, that was clever. . I think before continuing, "I'm sorry I snuck out. But, shit. After the bomb Paula just dropped on me? I needed to get out because, I know you guys aren't going to take my dad to court."
"Oh, Sabree," Mia's voice softens, "You know for a fact that that isn't true." She coos, rubbing my shoulders as I turn away from them.
"Just go away."