Title: I Can Feel Your Feelings Through This White Paper.
Author: alt-3-etf
Beta: EVS
Pairing: Jasper and Jacob
Summary: AU. The Blacks move back to Forks after Billy's accident. Jacob's principle offers Jacob a shrink, only to have it to be the vampire who not only despises the young wolf, but wants to rip his throat out and drink him dray. It's not too good when Jacob imprints on him.
Disclaimer: I don't own any Twilight characters. OC's where needed, no one major. Some minor changes too – they have fangs that come out when they get aroused, smell blood etc. They also sleep eventually just every...two weeks or so, not every night.
Warnings: Cursing, Male on male [eventually], mythological creatures. RACIST COMMENTS I DO NOT MEAN TO OFFEND!
Author's Note: Thank you everyone who reviewed, read and added me/this fic to their favourites. It honestly makes me smile :) I'm sorry it's taken me so long, I've been at school for just under a month, starting my a-levels and I've only had the time to do homework!!!
___
Jasper
I walked through the front door of my surgery, a smile plastered on my face.
Alice had told me today was going to be a good day and well, why not make good use out of it?
Alice and I had never been a couple...we'd been best friends since I was turned. She...found me. I wasn't paying attention that day but she was there. She shouted at me for taking my sweet ass time. I smiled pleasantly at her because I knew, we may not be together but we'd be together always.
"Jasper, you're next client is here to see you," Esme chimed.
Excitement radiated from her. What was with the emotion?
"You're excited, who is it?" I replied bluntly, the smile I had pasted on my face now non-existant.
Her excitement subsided and worry scurried in.
"I think you should just go in Jasper..."
I looked at my adoptive mother for a moment. Who was it?
I sighed and walked into my office.
Anxiety was flowing through the air, I could smell fear.
I slowly opened the door and glared.
It was him. The dog. I didn't want him here, he wasn't welcome. He wasn't worth my presence!
I heard his heart tremble with terror. I wanted to smirk but I didn't. I was professional.
"Please, sit." I gestured with my hand. I wanted to rip his throat out for even stepping foot inside my work.
He sat down on the long sofa and I sat down in my chair.
You're confused aren't you? To why I'm a doctor? Well, what can I say? I'm old enough to be your great, great, great grandfather.
"Well, let's start from the beginning shall we?" I asked
He grunted, "Which beginning?" He was angry. Distraught.
I smiled shortly, "Well, why don't you start with why you moved away from Forks in the first place." I could feel his nerves. Building and building. Anger. Hatred. Fear.
I felt my hair fall in front of my face. I was going to move it. Honestly I was but...he was too intriguing. It seemed he had no idea what he was. Who he was.
How could he not?
I did.
I didn't even know him and I knew what he was.
When I called him a dog he seems so...offended. Not because I called him a dog but why I called him a dog. He thought he was human – Edward said.
Lust hit me. I stopped myself from shifting.
He suddenly blinked fast, close to tears. His heart was racing. His blood sprinting through his veins...
Ugh I could smell him! The blood...the tainted blood...even from an animal it smelled divine.
I looked at him closely.
When we change, we lose the capability of seeing colours. We're colour blind. Our eye site is greyscale and infrared but...once we find our soul mates, we see again. As if we are relived of this...oppression. Weird isn't it? That's why we can see so clearly in the dark...
I looked even closer.
Then I saw it.
The colours.
His eyes weren't grey or black. His eyes were brown...I was seeing colours!
I could see colours! Oh how I wanted to laugh, shout, sing!
Vampires feel nothing, until they meet their mates. Not love, not hate, not even despair. All we have is an empty vacuum. No feelings, no colours.
Unfortunately, I can feel other people's emotions. I've envied them since I changed. I wanted to be laugh, I wanted to love. I wanted to cry.
Then I felt it.
The emotions.
They swirled round my head.
Round and round and round.
I wanted to pin him down and claim him.
He was mine.
He had to be.
No, he couldn't.
He was a dog.
"I-I don't know why we moved away. My mom said it was because they needed a change of scenery..." He stuttered and gulped. I saw the blood rush to his cheeks. I smelt it. I saw his cheeks turn red. RED!
"Oh, so why did you move back?" I blinked. I was seeing things. I couldn't see colours. I would never be able to see colours.
"It's a long story," He muttered with a low and unemotive voice.
It stung him to think about it. I felt it from the bit of his stomach. The ache, the pain.
"Obviously, this long story has a strong, emotional hold on you."
He glared at me. Anger crossed his mind.
"You feel angry that I know it has a hold on you."
He grunted.
"So, Jacob, are you going to continue?" My hand gave a soft gesture for hum to continue. He stared at me blankly.
"What is there to continue? We moved away because my mom wanted to, nothing else to tell."
I pulled out a pad of white paper, and a pen in my hand. Beginning to scribble away his feelings. His anger, his hatred. His pain.
It burnt through my head. I felt his migraine pass through me like a bullet.
I lift my head quickly, looking at him, "Are you okay Jacob?"
He opened his mouth to speak but he couldn't, the pain closed his throat. My throat.
My chest became tight, I felt my heart move.
...my heart move.
My heart...
Beat.
My heart was beating.
My heart was beating.
My stone cold...still heart was beating.
Racing.
He stood, angry that it didn't help his windpipe.
"Jacob? What's wrong?"
His face went red...his lack of oxygen was worrying me but I couldn't touch him.
No, my body was shaking. My head was bounding. My heart was beating.
Pain ripped through me. It wasn't his pain.
It was mine.
I was panicking. About him. About me.
Fire burnt my abdomen.
His gagged and blood poured out of his mouth. I stiffened.
Blood.
God...beautiful blood.
His beautiful blood.
He doubled over.
I wanted to help.
I wanted to hold him. Kiss him.
I wanted to claim him.
Lust waved over me again, it wasn't just mine.
He looked at me.
His gaze penetrating my skin.
Then...he fled.
Gone.
Out of sight.
___
As soon as his scent left my nose, I sprinted out.
I left the building.
I left the town.
If I could, I would have left the country.
I ran.
Miles and miles I ran.
Going nowhere, seeing no one.
I forgot about blending in.
I forgot about slowing down.
I used my legs, and gravity to pull me away.
My emotions were on trips. I was happy, then sad. Then angry, then distraught. I wanted to laugh, and cry. I wanted to scream, and sing.
I wanted to rip every since cell from my body.
I stopped.
I stood in the centre of the highway.
The sun was bright, the cars were swerving round me, shouting anonymous words and phrases to insults me.
I was deaf.
The sound of my own beating heart terrified me.
I was dead.
I was supposed to be dead.
Never ageing, never growing, never beating.
I couldn't be alive, it was impossible.
I was dead.
A predator, a monster.
A disgusting creature like me didn't deserve to live.
___
I was against the idea of speeding back to Forks, so I jugged. Human speed.
When I arrived home, around 4am, I was bombarded with emotions and questions.
"Where have you been?!"
"Alice couldn't see you, are you okay?"
"What's wrong Jasper?"
"Don't you ever go out like that again!"
Standing still, I looked at my family.
"I'm a vampire, not a child," I hissed.
Their questions died out.
The colours soaked my eyes. No matter how mad I was, I couldn't stop the warm feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I could see colours. For the first time in over 146 years, I could see colours.
Then I felt it.
The push in my head.
An intruder I didn't want.
"Get the fuck out of my head Edward!" I spat.
Confused smacked me.
"Jasper..."
"What?"
"Is that your heart that's beating?"
___
I refused to go to school.
I couldn't see him there.
No.
Not while he was wasting away to nothing.
Not eating.
Not sleeping.
Damn, I could smell his stench a mile away!
No.
I refused.
Why did I care?
Fuck knows.
Did I want to know?
No.
He wasn't my mate, simple as.
Because if he was, he'd be vampire or human, not a dog.
He was a dog.
Regardless of how amazing and innocent you may find him.
He hates me and my kind alike.
So...
How can we love each other when we hate each other?
I swear to God, I refuse to be Juliette in this story.
I went though.
To class.
I couldn't stop myself.
The thought of him being there alone...without me ripped my insides.
I wanted to be close to him, to smell him, to taste him...to claim him.
He was mine.
I don't care about laws, or facts or nature.
He was to be mine and God strike me down now, I was going to get him.
I sat in class.
His body so close to mine.
I could smell his blood pumping through his veins.
I could feel his emotions running through his body.
It struck me like lightening.
The change.
His change.
My cells were dividing, my blood was spilling.
My hairs tugged at my scalp.
My body was being snapped and rolled. Flicked and kicked.
Until finally, I saw the magnificent creature he was.
A wolf.
___
A/N: Sorry it took so long!!!! God school is a pain in the ass right? Stupid Alevels. Anyone like Hey Monday? I do ^^ saw them at Leeds cockpit last weeks. (Y) Now, its Greenday, A Skylit Drive, then Paramore...oh yeah. Anyway, thank you for reading and I hope to update soon. I hope this was worth the wait...hopefully.