Sabree's POV

Two weeks. That's how long it's been since I've seen the Z-Boys. I've been held captive in this cramped shit hole for two weeks, kinda like I'm in prison. Only, prisoners get one phone call and fed daily, and they get to see the light of day at least for an hour. My skin is suffering, I've lost my tan. But these two weeks, I've gotten of almost scotch free. Verbal abuse, mostly. A little hitting here and there. Who am I to complain?

But today, today is day of freedom. Dad and Karen are escaping off to the tropics for a good week and a half. So kind of them to invite me. I have no clue why. Maybe forever summer California isn't cutting it for them anymore. Maybe they'll decide to pack up their bags and leave all this behind. If only. But anyway, the past two weeks the damage done to body is a gold ball sized bruise on my hip, a tiny gash on my lower back and a bump on my head. Luckily, all these bruises are hide able.

In a way, my father and I had bonded with him not beating me. I could smoke a joint without worry. Which, isn't that the whole point of smoking weed?

I yawn, falling back on my springy mattress, listening to the amazing sounds of Jimi Hendrix mesh with every sound in my apartment complex, filling every nook and cranny with melodies.

"Sabree, we're leaving now! Don't do anything stupid while we're gone or you'll get it bad when I get back!" My dad finally roared with his oh so common threat before leaving me alone to converse with the empty apartment.

With my dad gone, a whole new world of possibilities opened up right in front of me. I know I'm over doing it here but ever since I left Tyler's, this kind of freedom was blocked off from me. But what could I possibly do for one full week all by my lonesome? Hm, well that's a stupid question.

I had 5 guys waiting for me. 5 unpredictable, wild, California boys ready to run around town to do whatever they please.

But if I sit here, I'll ruin the whole damn week. Sabree Thomas meet freedom. Freedom meet Sabree Thomas.

.….

The reaction I got from the boys was more than I really expected. They were all so….happy to see me, never mind Stacy and Tyler bombarding me with questions regarding if I was okay or not. I didn't mind them constantly bickering over my safety for once.

"Woah, slow down there. My dad and Karen are in San Diego for the next week and half." I explained. Well, more like beamed.

"So, that means you don't have to worry about taking any beatings?" Sid asked with his usual innocence and curiosity.

I laughed and nodded, "Yes, Sid, this means I don't have to worry about taking any beatings. Although, I have to say I am very proud of my dad. I'm less banged up than I ever expected to be." Those words weren't exactly reassuring enough for the boys after they had finally convinced me to show them what damage my father had managed to do within the short couple weeks I've been with him.

They cringed, scolded me for no apparent reason, everything they always did when I got hurt. Oh, well. Brownie points for worrying, I suppose.

The gaping had grown old and that's when I rolled my shirt back down and pushed the lot away, "Okay! I get it! It's bad. Beating equal bad! You've established that point many, many times!"

It was usually when I used that tone of voice paired with that logic that they all back away from me. All except Stacy but Stacy loves me, I guess.

The whole concept of someone loving me the way Stacy does is still very new to me…everything still hadn't settled yet. I'm not used to the feelings that rush through me whenever I'm around him, I'm not used to the way we can just sit and talk about anything and everything. Stacy's unlocked feelings that I've never in my life felt before.

I should be lucky though, as I said before. So no more complaints on my end. As for today's activities, I really have no clue what we're going to do today. Probably the same old same old. I don't think that much had changed since I was grounded but you really never know with these boys.

…

Well, if that wasn't a fun filled day. Even if it was all routine like I'd expected it to be. We still managed to have a good time. Then again, we probably could have been spent the whole day, starring at a rock and I still would have managed to be entertained. Somehow just being with the group of Z-Boys was enough to keep me laughing for hours. The more I hang around them though, the more I've come to find that I seriously worry about what goes on in their minds.

But enough on that subject. The shock of Jay and I finally making peace finally wore off. Thank God because if they said one more thing about Jayboy and me getting along I would have had to drown them all personally.

Tonight I'm rooming with Jay at his house, having no strong desire to spend the night in my big lonesome, might I even say creepish, apartment all alone. Why was I with Jay? Well, I certainly was not going to stay the night at Tony's house. Not with his stupid bitch of a sister. I never really figured out why Kathy and I don't get along. Frankly, I don't care.

Stacy's parents are back home; I think that's enough of an explanation. I can't stay with Sid because Sid's parents' know Tyler's and I can't be anywhere near Tyler, or his parents for some unknown reason. Something my dad did to make sure that I wouldn't go back there.

But spending time with Jay had become nice. It gives us a chance to get to know each other more. We wasted nearly a year of that so I suppose we have a lot to catch up on. Jay's mom, Philane, is great. I love her.

Deep down, though, I think I'm jealous of the close relationship that Jay has with his mother. Part of me really wants that with my dad and Karen. Maybe if we had a better relationship, I wouldn't get beat and he wouldn't take Karen's word over mine…

I was wrong about Jay, this I was sure of. And he was wrong about me. I mean push aside the fact that he has to be the biggest jackass in the whole entire world (Well, biggest jackass next to Tony, anyway.) he's got a good heart and good, but slightly twisted at the same, morals.

But that doesn't make up for what he did to Stacy if you ask me about it.

I believe his exact words about the Stacy thing were: 'Yeah…Peralta's got a big heart. Too big. I wouldn't have been able to forgive me if I was him, or whatever.'

I agree with him, really I do. Stacy's heart is too big if that's even possible.

Things could have gone on like this for the remainder of the night. I wish things would have gone on like that for the remainder of the night.

I don't even know how this next part happened. I mean, we were just sitting there, innocently talking. The next thing I know Jay is kissing me, and I'm kissing him back. What is wrong with me? Stacy! What about Stacy?! There's a big red light going around in my head, followed by a siren telling me this is the worst possible move I could ever make ever.

Even as all this commotion is being set off in my head, I pay no mind to any of it while I let myself fall back on Jay's mattress, allowing him to crawl on top of me.

Again the question 'What the hell is wrong with you, Sabree!?' pops into my head. Why are you kissing Jay Adams? You've known the guy for about a week.

As usual, Jay's one step ahead of everyone. He's already shirtless but that's just the way Jay is—he likes to take his shirt off.

As he runs a hand through my hair that's when I realize I am making the biggest mistake ever. Everything came into perspective; I started actually hearing my thoughts. At this exact moment, I've gone further with Jay than I have with Stacy. I jerk away, and throw Jay off me.

"Okay…Jay, I don't know what I'm doing. So I'm just…I'm just gonna go," I stand up, tugging at my jacket. He merely shrugs and sits there.

I don't mean anything to him as a romantic interest—I'm just another girl to kiss to him.

…

I woke up in my apartment the next morning. I barley got any sleep at all. Kissing Jay kept haunting me. How am I going to break this to Stacy? He is the last person to deserve this. I sit up, pushing the covers off of my legs. I never changed last night. The thought of going to bed in pajamas was pushed away from my mind. How I was going to tell Stacy what I did was really the only thing my conscience would focus on.

My mind is everywhere today. I know this because I'm crawling into my black pajama bottoms and lime green tank top to go out with the boys. We're supposed to go surfing today. Whatever, though.

Even if I did get dressed in the appropriate attire I don't think I would be much up for surfing. Before I left the house, I gathered my hair in a messy bun at the top of my head. The skies above threaten a bit of rain. This is really the first cloudy day I've seen in Santa Monica. I stuck my key in my pocket then pulled the door shut behind me, listening for the lock click.

I guess I could play everything off as normal. Again, my acting skills are very less than exceptional so I really don't know how tell that's going to go. I had to try though. Maybe Stacy will force it out of me...maybe he'll see something's wrong before I even get a chance to confess. No! No, damn it Sabree. It'll only be worse if he figures out on his own.

There he is…ugh. This is killing me. I never was good at keeping secrets. I wish I had some way to kill off the guilt welling inside of me. A million and one scenarios are running through my mind right now. The fear of Stacy, literally, exploding on me is a fear I can't quell. I'm thinking to much about this…if I over analyze this he'll know for sure there's something wrong. But what else is there to think of?

He looks over in my direction and greets me with a smile, and drapes his arm over my shoulders when I get close enough to him. He's not surfing today. I return his smile with my own, folding my arms over my chest.

"How come you aren't surfing Stace?" I ask, looking up at him.

He only shrugs at me, "Work. I don't have time to surf then go home and get showered and everything today. I'm taking Marissa's shift today, I need the extra money. Why aren't you surfing?"

Oh, maybe because I kissed Jay last night and I couldn't sleep at all last night because I feel so guilty about it. Or because I'm a slut…ask Jay he'll tell you everything. Those are two very good reasons. My mouth wants to desperately take the shape of those words. If only I could say it that bluntly. Well, I could. I've done it before; I am a pretty blunt person. If it were Tony, or anyone, I would have said it easy as pie. But Stacy…Stacy's feelings are much more fragile than Tony's or anybodies. Tony uses girls, cheats on them…whatever he needs to do to them to have sex. I don't think the words 'committed relationship' are even in his vocabulary.

I, too, shrug and open my mouth, hoping something ridiculous doesn't come out. "Um, bad dream. Didn't get much sleep." My answer leaves him puzzled but he doesn't push for further explanation.

He just sits there and lets me be very quiet and very unlike me.

"Sabree, what's wrong? You have that look." He asks, taking my hand in his.

"Look? What look?"

"That look that you get when there's something wrong you just don't wanna say what."

Look? Why didn't anybody tell me about this look before?! I chuckle awkwardly and try steering this conversation in a different direction but Stacy doesn't budge. He really wants to know what's wrong with me. I have to tell him. I have to tell him that I'm an unfaithful slut who's not worth his time. Here goes nothing…

"I kissed Jay last night…" My voice is hushed and I feel myself grow smaller and smaller.

"You what?" he scoffs, and his baby blue eyes, usually so warm and loving, penetrate my imaginary shell that I thought was supposed to keep me safe.

"We we're just talking and the next thing I know we're just kissing. It didn't mean anything, Stacy. I swear."

He's hurt. No, he's more than hurt. He's…he's…well I can't even think of a word for it. That's how bad the news is to him.

"Go home, Sabree."

"But, Stacy—" I try to reason with him. I don't blame him…I would react the same way, too. No, my reaction would be ten times worse than his.

"Just go!"