Claudia held her list of chores before her, referencing it. She readjusted her heavy parts pack as she examined artifact numbers on the shelves. She tried to keep her mind on the busted video monitors, but couldn't help reading some artifact details as she went by.
"'Talk to birds.' Kewl! 'Grow hair really fast.' Um… not so much…" She strolled down the aisle passing a portrait of a man whose eyes followed her. "Okay. That's not totally creepy…" She hurried past. Claudia looked up, turned around and found her broken video monitor.
She slid the monitor out and popped out the back to reveal the internal electronics. She flinched. The electronics were blackened. "Well, yeah.. hm.. that would do it!" She brought out a tool to remove the power cables that were welded to the insulated power source that ran through the shelves. Once removed, she dumped the fried monitor and retrieved the spare from her pack. She donned Artie's protective goggles and started welding the new monitor in place.
"Excusez moi."
Claudia jerked her head up and tried to look around through the dark goggles. She stopped welding and snapped up the shielded lenses.
"Excuse me. What year is this?" came a voice.
Claudia whipped her head around trying to find the person speaking to her. She ripped the goggles off of her head and stopped to listen. Artie told her to be careful on her own in the warehouse and her nerves were now on high alert.
"I don't mean to startle you - but can you tell me the year? Hellooo!" said a small voice in a heavy French accent.
Claudia tracked down the voice to the portrait whose eyes followed her before. She peered inside the frame and saw a neatly dressed man looking out.
"Ah! Zer you are! I saw you working" the man said. "I hope you don't mind, but what year is this?" The portrait speaking was a middle aged man. He was moving and talking, but was very clearly made of paint.
"Uh- 2010." Claudia answered automatically.
The man said, "Has it been that long?" more to himself than Claudia. "So much that I have missed. Zertainly changes in fashion…" the man squinted to get a better look at Claudia's clothes through the painting.
Claudia was suddenly a little self conscious of her normally kicking wardrobe.
"I am glad you are fixing that picture." Claudia followed his movement and realized he was talking about the display. "It was very boring."
"You - you mean the display? You can read the displays?" The man nodded dismissively. "From your picture?" said Claudia.
"Oh jes." He said in his accent. "But usually I have to try very hard to see, not like now. Now everyzing is very clear." Claudia looked around the top of the row of shelves. "No neutralizer…." She said out loud.
Claudia shook her head and imitated Artie "Claudia! We do NOT talk to the artifacts!" She turned back to the half installed video monitor. After a few seconds, her curiosity won out. She looked over her shoulder to see the man watching her from his painting. "What? I'm just going to fix this- then I can get out of your way."
"YOU are fixing that yes?" the man asked.
"Uh- yeah! And I'm nearly done, so I'll just get back to work now…" said Claudia trying to end the conversation.
"It is unuzual to send such a young lady to fix zings yes?"
Claudia turned to face the painting. Was this work of art insulting her technical skills? Because she did have a welding torch in her hands… "No. Not un-u-zial." She imitated the man's accent. "This is my job and I'm pretty good at it. So if you'll excuise moi." Claudia turned to her work again.
"Ah I have insulted you. I am sorry. It iz just zat you look so young for a warehouse agent."
Claudia stopped. The painting knows about the warehouse? she thought. How much? Is this a trick? Or a test? She turned and evaluated the painting a second time, tilting her head in thought. "You know about the warehouse?"
"Well of course! I am in it after all! Am I not? "
"Uh, yes, you are. But, it's just that, none of the other artifacts seem to realize where they are." She mumbled, "Or can talk for that matter…"
"It is just what I am." the portrait shrugged. He cocked his head a little and asked. "Will you do a favor for me?"
Claudia's gut froze up. She knew it! Artie was right! They just want to manipulate you!
The man continued, "Ze sign over zere. It fell down a bit ago and makes the most shocking dizcharges of electricity when you least expect it." He turned his head to look beyond his own picture frame to the aisle across the way, behind Claudia.
Claudia frowned and turned. That certainly seemed pretty harmless… unless he wanted Claudia to look away. She quickly looked back at the painting. He was just looking harmlessly at Claudia and then he pointed across the aisle. "Zat one. Ze one zat glows."
Claudia slowly backed away from the painting and looked at the shelf behind her. There was an artifact that was knocked down. She walked over and picked up a neon sign that read "Bill's Bar". It was unplugged but still glowed. Claudia sat the sign upright. On the shelf there were scorch marks. She figured that the energies from the sign went outwards. When it was face down, they must have been blocked until they built up enough energy to discharge all at once.
She returned to the painting after a thought. "You saw that fall?"
"No, I wasn't looking, but I heard it. After zat, very large electrical discharges would disturb everything on the shelves!" he leaned forward and lowered his voice. "Zome of these artifacts do not respond well to occasional electrical discharge." He winked. A smirk sneaked through Claudia's caution.
"So you can see stuff – outside I mean? Can you read this?" she pointed to the label on a crate right across from the painting.
"Of course I can read! And thank you for installing ze 'video monitors'! Zey are most interesting! I have had to entertain myself for years and years!"
"You read the monitors?"
"Jes! I was made for zat world." He considered for a moment. "Ze warehouse, it has changed much."
"It has?" Claudia looked around and considered the video monitors, the new security upgrades, and other things that the painting might have seen change like- oh- electricity. "Yeah I guess it has. A lot!"
"Well! I zink zey are improvements! Ze artifacts are much more secure now. Zey were always falling off or throwing zemselves around."
"How long have you been in here?" she felt like she was suddenly talking to a prisoner.
"Zoon after I was created. I was taken by warehouse agents. Oh zey found uses for me… I have been here … I am not sure. Last zing I saw was when zey were transporting me to zis warehouse. Zen ze purple fog came down and I could not see quite zo much. Just my own row." he peeked out of the frame again as if to demonstrate.
Claudia, her caution long since abated, launched into an idea. "So - this monitor…" she crossed the aisle to the broken monitor. "How long has it been out?"
"For two weeks."
"Two weeks!" She added "What happened to it?"
"It started to go fuzzy- um- with lines after ze lightening."
"Static?"
"Hum?"
"Lines that break up the picture- its called static."
"Ah! Jes. Zen it was static. It was from zat sign. When it fell, zere was a very big lightning" he paused. "Zen zat man came by, but ze display looked normal zen."
"Man?" Claudia considered. "Do you mean Artie?" The painting shrugged. She said "Um, short, glasses, goatee… old." She considered the prim and proper figure in the painting. "A mess?"
"Ah Jes! Zat was him! Artie zen. Ze display started ze "static" after he went by. Ze lightning, it went from zere, to zere" he pointed. "It was a huge lightning. Ze display you are working on- zat one and zis one, zey both went out." The painting pointed to another display to the Claudia's left. She followed the finger. "Which one? This one?" she went to the next display. "This one?" The painting directed her to the correct display. She considered the video monitor. It seemed fine. It wasn't listed on her chore list from the warehouse diagnostic either. She looked at the painting who seemed to be encouraging her. She couldn't see any harm in giving it a once over. If the painting was trying to trick her in some way, he really stunk at it.
(Elsewhere)
Once at the top of the ladder, Artie stopped to catch his breath for the umpteenth time. After a few seconds, he unhooked the weight and dropped it. It dragged the rope through the pulley and started to lift his bag from the warehouse floor far below. Artie adjusted the tension on the pulley, slowing the rope. He then took a look around and started shifting the artifacts on the shelves around him to give him a workspace.
Artie was at the top shelf far from the warehouse floor. He was anxious to get the neutralizer flowing again. It wasn't enough that stopping the neutralizer gave every artifact in this section a little window to cause trouble, as remote as that might be, but he had to be constantly on alert for hallucinations that the neutralizer was known to cause.
He used a large wrench to remove a section of pipe and peered into it. A sharp sigh escaped him. He looked into the remaining pipe and installed the cork tester again. Artie caught something out of the corner of his eye. He stopped and looked but didn't see anything out of the ordinary, so he went back to work.
A few seconds later he saw something move again. This time Artie stopped dead. If an artifact was misbehaving then he needed to deal with it. If he was hallucinating, then he needed to know that too.
He gave it several seconds but saw nothing but boxes and artifacts. He slowly tuned back to his pipe, but his senses were on full alert.
The cork tester gave its results. This time Artie perked up. The clog was close. He reached into his bag for a tool.
Suddenly he felt a sharp pain on the back of his neck. His left hand instantly slapped his neck. Artie jerked his head up. He suddenly wanted off the ladder. He unhooked his safety harness and scrambled onto the nearby shelves. Facing outwards, he scanned the area. There was nothing that drew his eye.
Artie's brain went into Warehouse catalogue mode. He knew that there was an artifact that affected insects in the pupae stage that once resulted in a swarm of giant mosquitoes before agents bagged it. He thought he remembered reading that you could hear them before they bit you though. There was also an artifact blowgun, but that was halfway across the warehouse. He lowered his hand from his neck. Was this a hallucination? He looked down at his fingers and saw blood. His eyes scanned the shelves with increasing alarm. He racked his brain about artifacts in this area. Wait- there was something on the edge of his memory. Then he remembered- the shelf across the aisle. Leena had recently moved an artifact there.
"Think!" he said out loud. Then he remembered. "Ah! The amulet." But he furrowed his brow and shook his head. Leena said that she had moved a simple amulet that supposedly made the wearer's bones unbreakable. Artie doubted that could be responsible. This must be a hallucination. He looked at his fingers again. His stomach churned at the sight of his own blood. He quickly flicked the blood away and wiped his hand on his pants. He needed to talk to someone not affected by the neutralizer. Quickly. Artie shoved his arm into his bag and pulled out his Farnsworth.