a.n. Sorry for the slow update. I've been busy with uni and what not, but that's finished for another year so hopefully things will move along a little faster now. Also, thank-you so much for your reviews and favourites. They made this happen so keep them coming.
disclaimer. I don't own Inception or any of the characters within it. Tragic, I know.
Changes
.The Knowing.
It's been six months since that last job.
I still don't dream much. When I close my eyes, I don't see pictures, I don't see blackness. I don't see anything. I'm simply catapulted from night into morning without any recollection of how I got there. But just because I don't dream doesn't mean I don't think.
I do think.
I think about her...
I think about her laugh. Her smile. Her beautiful eyes. The feel of her satin skin on mine. Sometimes, she's standing before me – close, but just beyond my reach. Sometimes, she's just out of sight – a flash of dark hair rounding a corner, a pretty girl sliding into a car. Other times, it's worse than that... I can smell her, taste her, like she's in the air all around me, in the oxygen I breathe.
It makes me stop, it makes me smile.
It makes me choke.
Thankfully, Phillippa and James take more after me than her. They have my hair, my eyes, and a little of my nose, as well. But sometimes, I see her there. In Phillipa's laugh; in James' smile... When I catch those glimpses, something clenches in my chest. I can't look at them. I can't –
I'm no better than I was the moment she stepped off that balcony.
But I'm trying. Every. Single. Day. I want to be a good father. I want to be there – teaching them, guiding them, protecting them, loving them. I want them know I'll never leave them like I did before. Like their mother did.
It was my fault. I took her from them.
And I was stupid to think I could forget that.
#####
I've started drinking. At first, it was only a couple of scotches before bed to help me sleep, but lately I've been almost finishing the bottle. I've been careful about it – making sure to rise on time, taking care to hide the bottles... No one's noticed yet. But they will soon. I know better than anyone that you can't hide your problems forever. Try as you might, you can never outrun them.
These thoughts aren't enough to stop me from pouring a fresh glass. I knock it back, and the cool liquid burns a molten trail down my throat. It feels good. Better than I should. And it makes it easier to sleep. She doesn't bother me when I'm this far gone.
But my phone does. I hear it ringing – shrill, loud and annoying. I reach across the kitchen table for it, nearly knocking the bottle over for my efforts.
"Dom Cobb speaking." The slur in my words is unmistakable.
"Dom? Is that you?"
I freeze. My grip on the phone tightens, yet it almost falls out of my hand.
That rich, smooth voice... I'd know it anywhere.
"I thought I told you never to call me again."
This is the reason I have caller ID.
I should have checked it. Waited for voicemail. Turned my phone off all together.
How could I be so fucking stupid?
"Jesus, Cobb. Are you drunk?"
"What the fuck's it to you?"
I'm tempted to hang up. A call from this man can't possibly bode well.
But something stops me.
"Fuck, Cobb. I—"
There's a strain in his voice. Something foreign, out of place. Desperation.
Fear.
"Something bad has happened."
Hang up the phone. Hang up the goddamn phone!
"I – I need your help."
A groan wells up in my chest, but it doesn't quite make it past my lips.
This is why I am no longer an extractor. Why I cut my ties, moved to the other side of the country.
This is why we were never supposed to speak again.
"You know I can't."
He sighs. A broken sound that tears at something in my chest.
"I have a family now, Cobb. It's not just me anymore."
"Then you understand why this conversation is over."
I hang up the phone. It clicks shut, and all the strength disappears from my body. I slump forward, boneless, barely able to support myself. It strikes me that I've felt this way once before. The day after she died. It's the feeling of knowing...
Knowing you've just killed your best friend.
a.n. Whoa, shit! Cobb did what? What's going to happen next? Ideas?
Constructive feedback greatly welcome! :D