Lucius' mother ethereal form walked out of the portrait, leading another ghost by the hand.

Lucius couldn't believe his eyes.

"Buona tarde, Signor Malfoy."

Antonio Santa Cruz, in all his transparent glory, was standing right in front of Lucius, a small smirk on his face. Apparently the man wouldn't let such a trifle as death stop him from ever surprising the Malfoy heir to the point of torment. However, it was his mother's girlish giggle that slapped Lucius back to reality.

"All right! That's enough! What were you two up too?" Lucius raged. To a total stranger, the man's reaction might have seemed exaggerated; however, feu Madame de Malfoi had left quite an interesting history behind here, as most of Malfoy Manor's most handsome visitors knew very well. Though Lady Capucine was cultivated, her very early marriage with a man nearly twice her age left her immature enough before the opposite sex, causing a scandal or two, or three or four...

Antonio must've recognized the source of Lucius' suspicions, for his whole attitude sobered immediately.

"I've chosen to remain amongst the living for a reason, Signor Malfoy. Severo is far from cured, for his soul remains troubled and he won't allow you to approach him, contrarily to what you seem to think", Antonio's voice echoed. His ghostly figure was becoming blurry. "You're lost in illusions, Lucius... Blinded by your desire to possess the one you love in his integrity... He'll leave this world soon if you can't lay aside your passion to see him no longer as a lover, but as a patient, Lu-"

"YOU'RE LYING!" Lucius roared, his usually pale face flushed. "Your presence here is as necessary as unwanted, you old fool! How dare you come back, you liar, you filthy liar, LIAR! How dare you leave me, you've left us and you come back... I HATE YOU!"

Antonio contemplated Lucius with coolness. Behind him cowered Capucine, her cheeks flushing silver.

"Lucius, my darling boy, please listen to Maman, s'il te plait, Maman always knows what's best for you, mon trésor..." she wept softly, staring at the floor. Lucius wished he could still hold her in her arms to comfort her. He hated to shout before his mother, but Heavens forbid, the man before him was trying.

"Pardonne-moi, Maman." He cooed softly, reaching for her delicate fingers, ignoring the freezing sensation as the tips passed through his hand. Capucine calmed down, and both spectres floated to the ground besides Lucius. Antonio was about to squeeze the living man's shoulder, before holding back just in time and sighing miserably. Lucius quirked an eyebrow before realization dawned on him. Antonio still wasn't used to being a spirit.

"Signor Santa Cruz", he inquired, "were you afraid of death?"

Antonio shook his head.

"I was in love."

Lucius stared at the poor fellow in amazement. Santa Cruz, of all people, the cold, expressionless Antonio Santa Cruz, polite in society, but living (no, had lived) in near hermitage the better part of his life, had said the L word. Amazing.

"But you never tried to stop Severus from starving himself..." Lucius pointed out, coming back to his haughty self.

"And I won't let you repeat the same mistake I made", Antonio said before he and Capucine faded away, his deep voice echoing in the whole room.

Lucius wished he'd live to see the day when life wouldn't be as complicated as it now was.

Severus fished into his robes. A good Potions master always carried on him a fair number of antidotes. An even better Potions master always kept said antidotes hidden.

There it is.

"Diffindo", he muttered, the sewing of his robes tore apart, revealing a small vial of fluorescent liquid. Originally, vomiting concoctions were used to throw up ingested poisons before they could harm one's system. Considering the situation, Severus wasn't using them out of context. After all, fat was a synonymous for poison in his dictionary.

Bathroom. Bowl. Swallow.

Spew your guts.

"Purifying" his body didn't leave Severus the leisure to think much, but he was reminded one thing. He positively loathed being sick. As sensible as he was, Severus knew he needed to ingest food for the potions to work properly. How cruel for his poor, mistreated organism.

Out of the fire, into the frying pan.

His throat started to feel dry, very dry. But he'd made a promise to Antonio to take care of himself, and how could he if he allowed himself to become disgustingly obese?

Severus winced. The mere thought of made him want to puke. More.

Good.

Severus sputtered. It was already over, but he'd done a good job. He felt pleasantly empty. He flushed the toilet before washing his mouth before the sink. Now to think of something else. Something that sharpened his curiosity.

Lucius.

Indeed. The man had acted in the most bizarre fashion Severus had ever seen, these last few days, altering between private nurse and almighty master. And perhaps lover, in between.

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose. His head started aching badly. He felt tired, very tired. Perhaps he hadn't quite recovered from pneumonia yet. He felt cold, a sensation he was very familiar with. And hunger.

Another old friend.

He staggered towards the bedroom, his vision quivering and the edges darkening. God, it made so sense. He wasn't ill anymore, was he? Antonio took care of him...

He collapsed on the bed, his eyes wide.

"Antonio...", he whispered.

Doubts were welling within him. Did the man cure him, or the contrary?

"Did you want me to join you, Antonio?"

Absurd, said the most reasonable part of him. He made you drink something his own body produced. If he'd wanted to poison you, he'd had to poison himself first, and why would he, if he'd wanted to be with you again?

What if he'd wanted to pass on faster, to get it over with before he'd started to suffer more?

Nonsense, what kind of poison turns your blood silver and makes it cure chemical pneumonia?

"Antonio..." Severus breathed out. His vision was blurring, and he fell into delirium.

It had to be delirium, for before he passed out, he could see Antonio facing him, a hand cupping his face.

It felt cold.

Lucius entered the room cautiously, before tiptoeing towards the bed. Severus looked exhausted. He was still wearing his black pyjamas, but had apparently tried to dress himself, for his robes laid upon the floor besides the bed. Lucius noticed a rip and frowned. It wasn't like Severus to be careless of his attire. If he remembered well, Lucius was quite sure the Potions master's robes were in perfect state when he had brought them.

"How did they end up that way?" Lucius muttered.

Actually, on closer inspection, he noticed that it wasn't the robe itself that was torn, but some kind of pocket sewn upon it. Lucius felt around for another pocket, and found one containing a small, round, hard object.

A vial.

Lucius tore the pocket open with a swish of his wand and caught the minute container. There was no doubt in what it held. Barely enough for a full swallow, but it didn't matter. By its colour, Lucius deduced it was potent enough to make you gag a healthy Hogwarts feast meal.

Snarling, Lucius ripped the robe with his bare hands into shreds. More vials fell upon the floor.

"What the hell are you doing to my clothes, Malfoy?" Severus groaned, startling Lucius. The blond man said nothing, picking instead each and every little vial, making quite a show of it in order to catch Severus' attention. He then headed to the bathroom and emptied them into the sink.

"Lucius!" Severus cried out, outraged, but Lucius ignored him, carrying on until none of the glop was left. He then marched back towards the bed, and without preamble, pounced on Severus, a feral gleam in his eyes. He licked, nipped, bit every speck of skin and flesh within his reach, nailing the raven man below him. Severus squirmed in an attempt to throw his assailant off, but soon abandoned the thought as Lucius thrust his knee against his lower regions. With a flash of wand, their clothes disappeared. Apparently Lucius hadn't wanted to waste time undressing. He clutched Severus' crotch tightly, making the other man gasp.

Warmth that spread from his pelvis to his entire body, like lava from a volcano. Severus was pretty sure that if Lucius held on, something else was going to erupt. He gulped, panted and pulled Lucius' angelic face towards his, capturing his lips with a passionate kiss. He had the impression of being caught into a time warp; suddenly he was 15 again, his mind blurred with hormones that incapacitated all tentative of rational thinking. He was brought back to reality as Lucius tore apart from him, looking solemn. His sole expression scared Severus, and a thousand questions sprouted in his head in a fraction of second.

"Severus", Lucius said, caressing Severus' cheek. This act of tenderness comforted the raven man slightly. "I need you to listen to me till the end, with no interruption. Could you do that?" he asked, his eyes adding a silent "for me?"

Severus nodded. Lucius bent down to kiss him, and carried on.

"I've always enjoyed how you maintained a slim figure, Severus... But now I realised you nearly... nearly... from doing so." Lucius swallowed hard, the memory of the last few days still sharp. "I don't care if you take ten pounds, or even more, Severus, I only wish for you to... I don't want you to..."

Ironic, really, piped a small voice in his head. You've spent a good chunk of your life achieving the Dark Lord's deeds, yet you can't even mention death in front of Severus.

Lucius shook this voice away and lifted Severus' chin for him to look at him straight in the eyes.

"I was so... distressed, when I realized you could've... died, because of how underfed you are, Severus. I know I don't deserve your sympathy, but please... You nearly passed out in my arms, for pity's sake!" Lucius cried out, fighting against his emotions. He knew they would make him appear less credible before Severus.

"I find you glorious even without the crap you shove down your throat" he whispered, closing the space between him and Severus, "and I'm not talking about food."

Severus stared at Lucius with wide eyes before nestling weakly against his chest, not uttering a single word.

Lucius handled Severus extra delicately; he knew by now the man must be exhausted, but he needed to emphasize his speech.

Ordinarily, Lucius Malfoy abhorred "fluffy" words such as making love. However, that evening he found it pretty befitting.

He usually considered his bed a battle site, as his beastly libido often turned sex into some kind of fierce combat. But not this time. He stretched Severus carefully, entered him with no hurry and kept a regular rhythm. Severus breathed heavily, and his moans were soft and quiet. Lucius could feel he wouldn't last long. With every thrust, he could feel Severus body growing limper. Only the delicious sounds he produced assured the topping man that he hadn't fainted yet.

Lucius... harder Lucius... oh please, deeper, deeper Lucius...

And Lucius complied.

Severus began to convulse upon the mattress, his moans turning into yelps, panting like he'd sprinted the marathon. Lucius started wanking Severus vigorously, until he was positively howling with pleasure.

After they both came, Lucius took the precaution to check Severus' pulse.

Dinner that night was quite an affair. First Lucius had to give Severus a glucose shot in order to keep him awake after all the exercise they'd had, for he feared his lover wouldn't stomach anything too sweet. After rearranging the bedcovers with a flick of his wand and putting on a night robe, he ordered the house elves to bring the meal. Something bland and light: mashed potatoes with boiled mixed vegetables. Severus hardly ate three mouthfuls before pushing his plate away and sinking back into his pillows. Lucius finished eating before questioning him.

"Severus, do you at least realize you're way under your ideal weight?" he asked cautiously. He was walking on very thin ice, to say the least.

Severus didn't reply immediately, but simply stared at his still full plate. At last he heaved a sigh and replied.

"I think I don't allow myself to realize it..."

Lucius frowned. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Severus' eyes suddenly seemed sadder, big, black, glimmering orbs that resembled those of a lost child. He was hiding something, something that was eating him from the inside. Apparently Severus had maintained his unhealthy eating habits for an illogical reason, for he had just as well confessed that he was aware of his problem.

"Severus..." Lucius begged. Severus closed his eyes tightly and withdrew himself from Lucius' touch.

"I can't, Lucius. It's become part of me, I don't even know if I could ever live without it. It's a need, it's keeping me from turning insane..." Severus whispered, his hands clasping the sides of his head.

"But this so-called need of yours is insane!" Lucius argued. His patience was running low, but right now diplomacy was the safest path. What could cause Severus to need to hurt himself? Masochism was the first idea which came to his mind, but knowing his friend, the truth ought to be a little more complicated.

He knows he has a problem, but grasps it like a lifeline. He needs to hurt himself... Self-abuse? Why? Inferiority complex? Doesn't seem the type. Then again it could be guilt. Why should he feel guilty? Okay, scratch that. He's a sadistic teacher who's partial as well as sarcastic, but hey, loads of people are like that, he's only human. What else could he have done? Well, first he left school, then had an affair with Santa Cruz... Wait a second, his mother was a very pious Christian, don't they disapprove homosexuality? I'll come back to that. Then he entered the Dark Lord's ranks... Did he disobey the Dark Lord? He shouldn't feel so guilty... Maybe he blaming himself for not being able to save him... That's it!

Lucius cleared his throat.

"You know, Severus", he said very slowly, in a voice fit for explaining to a three year old where do babies come from, "it's okay, nobody could've saved him, it was an accident, you shouldn't carry the whole responsibility on your shoulders..."

Severus watched him quizzically.

"About what? Antonio?" he asked.

"No, the Dark Lord!" Lucius corrected, a little brought down that his evidence wasn't that evident to Severus. "I know you were quite young when that happened, but that's... not... your..."

Something was very wrong. Severus wasn't even looking at him, nearly trying to disappear in thin air, even though Lucius assured him he had nothing to do with Voldemort's defeat. It seemed something deeper, darker, a well-kept secret Severus hid from him... Something he wouldn't even tell Lucius... But it couldn't be, it was unfathomable, unthinkable, it had to be a mistake.

"I shouldn't be here, Lucius. We shouldn't be together. I don't care whether or not Narcissa agrees, we just... I'm leaving" Severus muttered, standing up and collecting his shredded robes, mending them with a spell.

"All I ask is to come tomorrow to assist to Antonio's funerals" he added hurriedly, gathering his last personal effects and walking towards the hearth, reaching for the vase full of floo powder.

"Severus..."

Severus halted, but didn't look back.

"You're an intelligent man, Lucius" he murmured painfully. "I think you've understood by now on which side I stand."

Lucius walked towards Severus and made to hold his hand. Severus retrieved it from his reach, eyes colder than the Tundra.

"You've got a family to take care of, Lucius. You can't risk associating with me. Even though the Dark Lord's thought to be dead, his followers will do you in if they ever discover about who I really am, and that you're my lover..."

Lucius winced.

"Severus, please..." he implored, eyes filling with tears. "Tell me it's not over."

Severus shook his head, and stepped into the hearth, only to be yanked out immediately.

"Lucius!" he snarled. Lucius had pinned both of his hands to the floor, pressing his weight upon Severus' body. His features were etched with wrath.

"How idiotic can you get? To think I considered you a genius, for God's sake!" he seethed. Severus didn't shrink back, but held his head high in the most arrogant manner one could come up with. Lucius was fuming, his eyes glaring daggers at the person he now called traitor.

Severus looked back coolly.

"It was only a matter of time before I came to my senses, Lucius. The Dark Lord's a madman, his tyranny would have brought the magical world to its end, he doesn't give a damn for us all, remember what he did to the Lestranges..."

What Voldemort inflicted to his sister in law... How could Lucius ever forget? He asked for them to sacrifice their first born son, Alexander, who must've been only two years old, with the same cruelty than the Abrahamic god. All this procedure served as a proof of the couple's loyalty. Bellatrix had never been the same ever since, dedicating herself entirely to their Lord to compensate for the loss of a child she'd thought she wouldn't be able to give birth to...

In a way, he could understand what Severus meant, but still, they were above such folly...

"A master who promises us freedom by trapping us, in order to control us by all means. Remember all the cruciatus spells he used upon his most faithful followers... Even Narcissa..."

I thought Draco would've been stillborn after what she went through that night, a week before Cissy gave birth... Lucius contemplated. Still...

Both men winced.

After thirteen years, their marks were burning once more.

Severus fell to the floor, his eyes clenched close.

A few translations:

Malfoi (etymology of "Malfoy"): Mal (badness, evilness) Foi (faith).

N.B.: in my opinion, it could also be assimilated to "mauvaise foi" (literally: bad faith), an idiomatic expression describing the fact that one doesn't accept the fact he's wrong, and insists on proving that he was right in a way. For example, imagine you're watching the telly with a friend. During a football match, one of the player scores a goal against your friend's team. Even though the odds are against him, your friend insists that the ball didn't reach the goal, and that it shouldn't count. This friend of yours displays "mauvaise foi".

Maman: mom, mommy.

S'il te plait: please.

Mon trésor : my treasure (a common enough pet name in french speaking countries).

Pardonne-moi: forgive me.

Capucine: French name, quite rare, meaning nasturtium (family of brightly colored flowered, which are considered to be aphrodisiac; I thought it suited Lady Capucine well).

Sorry for the wait, I'm afraid that my last few exams don't give me the leisure to write as much… My last one's tomorrow, though, so heads up! By the way, I hope you're as happy as I am to finally have a little action between Lucius and Severus. And for those of you who enjoy Antonio Santa Cruz, don't worry, you haven't heard the last of him..

Cheers!

Sarah