The pain stopped as quickly as it had started, leaving Lucius grimacing and Severus gasping in pain, crouching onto the floor. Lucius ran for him and half carried him to the bed, ignoring flatly the skeletal man's protests.
Severus was still breathing shallowly after having settled down under the covers, his face alarmingly pale.
"It can't be, Lucius… He can't still be alive, for the love of Merlin… He's coming back to kill us all…" Severus wheezed. Lucius shushed him, tucking the bed sheets around him and stroking inky black hair away from his lover's eyes.
"I won't let anyone hurt you, Severus…" he whispered soothingly, sounding much braver than he felt. "It doesn't mean a thing, it didn't burn as much as usual… We don't even know if he's still alive…"
"How, Lucius?" Severus hissed. He then let out a deep breath. "I should really go, Lucius… If he is back, he'd bring your whole family to an early demise just because of how close you are to me…"
Lucius kneeled down besides the bed, and lay his head upon Severus' chest, listening to his heart beating, making the other man fairly uncomfortable.
"Lucius, what the hell do you think you're doing of productive?" Severus sneered, his voice dripping with sarcasm. Lucius closed his eyes lazily.
"I never want this melody to stop…" he said softly.
"Lucius, come back to reason, I've got to leave, the Dark Lord…" Severus faltered. He stopped when Lucius pressed his lips against his.
"How can you still want something to do with me after what I've told you?" Severus murmured miserably.
"Severus… why is it you are always the one…"
Lucius caressed Severus' cheek with the back of his hand.
"who shows me the way…"
His other hand slid vine-like under Severus' back.
"and opens my eyes…"
He lifted Severus to embrace him in a half-lying position.
"when I am blind?"
Severus buried his head into the crook of Lucius neck. Even though he heard nothing, Lucius knew the man was crying. His shoulder felt wet. Severus couldn't take it anymore, and collapsed onto him, his whole body trembling. Lucius held him closer, feeling at lost before the broken man. He could only imagine the pressure he must've felt during all these years, entwined with loneliness, and the duty to always remain composed before the toughest situations. He knew of Severus' situation, neither trusted by most of Dumbledore's followers, nor by the better part of the left Death Eaters…
How did you do it, Severus?
Lucius gave a little cough. He looked unusually grave.
"I don't know whether I should believe you or not for the time being", he started, "but I won't harm you… I don't want to harm you…"
Severus gazed up at him, his eyes revealing expressions he didn't have the strength to control anymore.
"I love you."
Lucius felt a hard ball forming inside his throat, choking him. Severus had hardly spoken these words that his eyes shut and he drifted off to sleep. Lucius fed the unconscious man a nutrient potion and undressed himself, before joining Severus in bed. He tried to find peace, but between the Dark Mark burning once again and Severus' declaration, he found it hard to doze off. He spooned behind Severus, holding him close, his hand stroking his hard, hollow stomach.
He still felt furious at Severus for turning his back to their Lord… But when he thought about it, most of this anger had developed because, yes, once again, he was afraid. Afraid of what Severus was risking. Deep inside, even though he didn't want to recognize the flaming new ideas that had built up in his hesitant mind, he knew Severus was right on a few points. He had repressed more than once deception towards Voldemort's actions, towards the cruelty his followers had went through, sometimes surpassing what was reserved to the foes of the Dark Mark.
But still, what woke up this brand new insight?
Lucius pondered silently. He was immerged in his own reflection, when he heard curtains ruffling. His eyes darted to Severus' inert form. Thankfully, the noise hadn't awoken him. The room temperature dropped a few degrees, and out of thin air appeared Santa Cruz.
"Signor Malfoy", the ghost greeted Lucius with a small bow. Lucius tilted his head in acknowledgement.
"Santa Cruz", he said, gladder than he'd ever admit of the spirit's presence. "I don't think you need a résumé of the grievous situation I'm in."
Antonio shook his head.
"Alas, Signor Malfoy. I feel you're in doubt. On one hand, the faith of a master that has failed you, on the other, the faith of a lover you have failed…"
"The Dark Lord has never failed us!" Lucius replied indignantly. Antonio scrutinized him coldly.
"Is that what you really think, Lucius Abraxas Malfoy?" he asked in icy tones. "Then how, how did Severus manage to convince you so easily, my dear child?"
Lucius fumed at the appellation. "I'm not a- it's absurd! Foolishness due to my affection for the man! Those so-called convictions are delusions, with no link whatsoever with reason, and I AM NOT A CHILD!"
Lucius breathing was labored from his outburst. He had rarely lost his composure in such a way, but damn him, the man really knows how to get on his nerves. Antonio ignored him and floated towards Severus, his eyes filled with longing. Lucius subsided a little at the sight of Santa Cruz watching over Severus, like a lost father would do before his ill son.
Antonio reached for Severus' cheek, but stopped before the tips of his fingers had "touched" the pale man. The infamous dottore truly was the icon of misery.
"Lucius", he finally said, "I'm going to give it one last try. Are you as devoted as you say you are to a Lord that has harmed you, your family, and your friends, one dubious pretences?"
Lucius sighed heavily, finally letting go.
"What choice do I have, anyway?" he muttered. "The Dark Mark has burnt again, and if our Lord comes back, I would find myself obliged to return to his side and fight for him again in order to protect my family, regardless of my believes."
The corners of Antonio's lips curled. It was a start.
"And do you trust yourself to kill Severo, if it was for your Lord's cause, and for all the prestige uncovering a traitor could bring you among your fellows?"
Lucius blanched.
"Never", he whispered.
"And why would you chose him over a man who could raise you above so many others, Lucius?" Antonio inquired.
"Because…" Lucius started, but words seemed trapped into his mouth. "Because…"
Antonio arched an eyebrow, waiting.
"Because I trust Severus more than I trust the Dark Lord. Because Severus has never harmed me for the sheer pleasure of it. Because I love Severus."
Antonio grinned broadly, and faded away, reminding Lucius of a weird cat he'd read about in a muggle children's book when he was small.
Lucius curled back into bed besides Severus. Suddenly a minor detail slapped him hard in the face. He'd been in bed when Santa Cruz had come. And, being the virile man he was, Lucius always slept in the nude.
Merlin's balls, did I have an entire conversation with Santa Cruz entirely naked?
In a dark forgotten room of Malfoy Manor, Antonio and Lady Capucine were both chuckling merrily.
The next day was bathed in blinding sunlight, not really the most befitting weather for a burial.
Lucius was wearing his prestigious black velvet robes, which he'd bought especially for his mother's funerals. He'd never thought he would've ever gotten them out of his closet, but he'd attached a certain sentimentality to them. For him, those robes were to accompany him throughout life's (and death's) challenges.
Severus, meanwhile, was sporting his usual teaching robes and a look of complete indifference. Lucius knew him too well; the man was clamming in, trying to force out any kind of feeling. Feelings hurt, and Severus was still licking numerous wounds.
A plain oak coffin adorned with a shiny silver cross was lowered in the freshly dug hole of the Cimitero di Napoli. Transportation had been assured by specialists, with the use of boats which speed had been outstandingly enhanced by the use of a few charms, reaching up to 400 knots, making it highly tricky to maneuver.
The undertaker quietly stepped away, leaving a little intimacy to the two men.
"You can cry if you want, Severus", Lucius murmured. Severus remained silent, not moving a finger.
Lucius walked towards the undertaker and asked him if they could leave in order to take of the payment. His two assistant followed, leaving their spades for when they'd return to fill the grave.
Severus stood alone.
He'd specially required an unadorned coffin because, as he said curtly, "I don't want to make Antonio's funerals look festive."
Now that they all were gone, he fell to his knees and held his hands together, bowing in prayer, like his catholic mother had taught him.
He asked for Antonio to join the loved ones he'd lost, and to stay by Eileen, his mother, in Heaven.
He asked for him to continue to guide him during the rest of his pitiful life.
He asked the Lord for mercy, mercy towards his soul, and Lucius', and the whole lot of them who'd be soon forced into a war they'd never asked for.
Severus' palms dropped down and supported his weight as he half-collapsed onto the dirt, and sobbed as he'd never sobbed in years.
Lucius and Severus decided to spend the night into Severus' old student room, which Antonio had always been careful to preserve, if the young man ever was to come back to Napoli. Indeed, even after having been deserted for years, the small quarter was still spotless. Everything had been left as was when Severus departed, even-
"Severus, what's this… Playboy magazine you seem to have so many copies of?" Lucius inquired curiously.
Severus face turned crimson.
"O-oh, nothing, plain muggle magazines…" he stammered. Lucius blinked.
"Alriiiiiight…" he said, putting back down the 1979 special Christmas edition, wondering why Severus had turned so discomfited and why the heck the front page of said magazine displayed silly blonde girls wearing what looked like a cross between a Santa Claus and bunny rabbit costume. "You don't mind if I use the loo, do you?"
Severus shook his head.
"Not at all", he replied, relieved that Lucius hadn't made a further analysis of his "treasury".
And he stilled in horror.
God help me, I do hope someone took off that photo of Brigitte Bardot in bikini out of the bathroom.
The moon rose over the city of Napoli.
Lucius observed it with wonder. He didn't know why, but in the last few days he'd taken the knack to appreciate what some would consider taken for granted. A result of all the tumult he'd been through, probably.
He and Severus had eaten outside that night. Lucius had tried for the first time that- what was it again?- ah, yes, pit-dzah, or whatever they called this fancy flat bread. On the other hand, Severus had only played with the contents of his salad before pushing it away. Lucius hadn't insisted for him to eat more; he could understand that Severus didn't feel particularly hungry.
Lucius headed towards the bedroom. Apart from a few "artistic" posters, from copies of great artists' works of art to more suggestive black and white photos of famous muggle actresses, he found no pictures in the tiny flat. It reminded him a lot of Antonio's place, where all trace of family life, had there been any, was inexistent.
Severus was half asleep when Lucius entered his dark bedroom. Strangely enough, the rest of Severus' home was very well lit, but this area gave the impression of being carefully prepared to entice sorrow. A small frame attracted Lucius' attention.
It was a small wrought iron frame, like an armor to protect the picture within; a black and white muggle photo of a younger looking Santa Cruz holding Eileen Prince by the waist. The young girl was grinning shyly, a small bundle of linen in her arms from which protruded the round face of Severus, with stunning doe eyes. The whole scene emanated melancholy.
"It was taken a few weeks after my birth", muttered Severus, making Lucius jump.
"I'm sorry I took it from its place", Lucius said sheepishly, quickly putting the frame back. Severus shook his head.
"I don't mind…" he sighed, sinking back in his pillows. Lucius slid under the sheets.
"You looked so cute in this photo… What the hell happened?" he taunted. Severus glared at him, making the other man peer at him carefully. He took in those black almond shaped eyes carefully lined by lashes; the result was quite outstanding, if you stopped to look.
"How come I've never noticed those wonders before?" he breathed out. Severus irritatedly tapped his nose.
"You'd have to see past this target, thanks God. I don't think I could've lived through Hogwarts with lass eyes, mind you."
Lucius was astounded.
"So you actually like your nose because it stops people from noticing your eyes?" he asked in amazement.
"Yes", Severus answered gruffly.
Lucius covered Severus' nose with his hand. The effect was immediate.
How beautiful the man's gaze was, a masterpiece drawn with Chinese ink over pale skin, completed with a set of thin brows arched in an aristocratic fashion. Lucius gently removed his hand under Severus' struggling. The aquiline nose then seemed to fall into place, its harsh lines reinforcing the sketch of the raven man's features.
It was cryptic. It was exotic.
It is art.
Lucius kissed Severus nose, bewildering the latter.
"Lucius, you're sincerely freaking the bloody hell out of me!" he uttered, gawking at the blond man. Lucius sneered.
"Oh well, it's your fault if I've lost part of my sanity, really…"
Severus huffed. "There we go again."
Both men unconsciously held themselves tighter. Lucius was hypnotised by two dark tunnels, and Severus engrossed by a pale angelic face.
"Lucius... what are we exactly?" Severus asked softly. Lucius paused, before smirking.
"I don't care what you think we are, Severus... I only know that I love you and all your apathy won't stop me" he breathed out against Severus' skin, making him shiver.
"I've let go of my grudge for a while now, Lucius", Severus panted as his lover slowly caressed the sensitive skin between his thighs. To return the favor, he let his skilful hands wander up and down Lucius cock at a deliciously slow pace. Both looked up from their ministrations to appreciate the evident lust showing upon the other's face. Their eyes locked.
"Severus…" Lucius began.
"Don't, Lucius…"
"I won't let him come between us, Severus."
"I know."
"I love you."
Silence rang in the room.
"I still think that's pure imbecility, Lucius", Severus stated indifferently.
"Oh well, what's life without a few risks?" Lucius joked, but he sobered at once at Severus' cold look.
"You've got a wife and a son, Lucius" he growled. Lucius shut his eyes tightly, in evident pain.
"I can't choose between you and them, Severus", he finally said. Severus mollified slightly.
"You've got a family to protect, Lucius..." he said quietly. Lucius brushed his lips against Severus' neck.
"And who will protect you?"
Caresses... Strokes... Kisses... The night passed in a flow of tenderness, so unusual for men renowned for their harsh, sometimes ruthless ways. But something between Lucius and Severus had sparked, like the mutual awareness that they probably won't have much more time to share in the future. All ahead remained undistinguishable, uncertain... and unforeseen.
Lucius prepared attentively Severus, stretching him with the greatest care. The raven haired man probably wouldn't have accepted sex if it had been anybody else than him, for he already was in a weakened state. Lucius took his time in entering Severus, balancing onto his elbows so as not to force his weight upon the skeletal man. He made a mental note to force some breakfast into him next morning.
Severus breathed huskily. His eyelids had already drooped down. His moaning had turned into pants. His head was lolling on the pillow, shaken with each rhythmic push. His arms and legs were sprawled upon the mattress.
Not until Lucius came, and that blood flowed up from his dick to his brain, did he notice that something was going very wrong.
Severus was still wheezing minutes after Lucius had stopped pumping into him.
Lucius tensed after checking the other man's pulse.
Severus' heart was beating much too fast.
Lucius put Severus under spell-induced sleep and took the ventilator and transfusion set back out.
He'd flooed immediately back to Malfoy Manor after discovering the critical state Severus was once again in. It was no shock, when he thought about it. After all, the man hadn't had a decent meal in days (without heaving it out afterwards, that is) and was still to be considered in recovery from his former illness.
Lucius wanted to kick himself. Just before fainting, back in his flat, Severus had jeered with a mixture of sarcasm and sorrow:
"At least you won't have to choose anymore."
The nutrient solution dripped slowly into the tube connected to the needle planted in Severus' hand. The ill man was breathing at a measured pace. All was well, for the moment that is.
But Lucius had learned the hard way that the situation could shift in a matter of minutes where Severus was concerned. This left Lucius no choice.
He'd have to maintain Severus unconscious in order to force feed him.
Severus opened his eyes slowly. Lucius was slumbering besides him, upon the bed covers, exhausted and haggard. A strangely familiar sensation awoke in the dark man. The feeling of a nose mask and a needle. And his whole body achy.
I don't suffer from pneumonia anymore, do I? His numb mind wondered, before it was able to come up with an explanation.
By the looks of it, Lucius hadn't shaved for a few days. That would mean that I haven't woken up in a few days. But how?
"Severus?" Lucius croaked. "Are you awake?"
With a crick or two, Severus turned his face towards Lucius and nodded feebly. The other man chortled at the small snapping sounds due to prolonged immobility. Severus gave him his best death glare.
"Sorry for that, lad..." Lucius said, highly amused by the trademark look-o'-doom. He picked up Severus arm and started massaging it methodically, moving upwards till the elbow. He turned Severus onto his stomach, making his patient wince slightly, before proceeding. Severus gasped, but his soreness soon turned into bliss. A few ministrations left him purring into his pillow. Within half a hour, Severus was once again fast asleep. Lucius finished his task before repositioning him comfortably in bed. Completely relaxed, the professor was truly a vision, without his characteristic frown and sneer.
Lucius convinced himself that he would be able to rescue Severus, if only to get to see him once more as he was right now.
A.N.: Sorry for the wait, I hope you're still enjoying the story as much as I enjoy writing it (or a tad more)...
For anybody who cares, Brigitte Bardot is a famous French actress, whose beauty is notorious. I chose her because I she's old enough for Severus to have known her when he was about 20 (year 1980), which was impossible with other models/film stars I searched for. Heck, I even tried to find Italian porn stars of the 80's... In vain. Naughty Severus!