Okay. Chapter 19 already, can't believe it myself. :) Well, still a lot more chappies to go and am very excited how you all like what I'll come up with in the end. Am already working on chapter 25 and even that one is quite a while away from the ending, so I hope you like long stories :)

I want to shout a huge and loud THANK YOU to all of you who support me with all those lovely reviews :) They make my day! And as many of you thank me for the smiles my story creates sometimes I want to thank you for the smiles all of your reviews create on MY face :) Just to say that again, I somehow think I can't thank you guys enough. You guys ROCK!

This chapter is dedicated to Stardust585 because of a few reasons. First of all she started reading this story much later than most of you and is pretty good in catching up AND, most importantly, she was the one telling me that she likes my own character Lisa McCaine who is Stella's best friend from outside her working field (in all of my stories). This is for you, because you hoped there will be more of Lisa in this story. Thanks for telling me that you like her :) You brought that idea into my mind :)

Chapter nineteen: A Much Needed Break

I sat down on my chair again, still watching Mac. His face was peaceful once again, but still pale. The nurse came earlier and replaced the blood preservation for the IV with the saline. Dr. Hendricks had told me that Mac probably wouldn't wake up until the next morning, but yet I was hoping he would. Watching him, his peaceful expression and his relaxed posture was somehow putting my mind at ease, but still it wasn't over yet. There was still that fear that he might not survive this. A thought that brought back the tears that I successfully had wiped away earlier. I got up from my chair and slowly took a step closer to his bedside. I bend down and placed a soft kiss on his forehead, noticing a few pearls of sweat on it. His skin was warm and pale.

"Don't worry, Mac… I'm just going to get some fresh air… I promise I'll be back soon." I whispered into his ear and then quietly snuck out of the room. I went to the nurse's station and let them know that I was going to return soon and told them to call me whenever something happened.

I went down the hallway toward the elevator and got to the first floor. I walked towards the big doors that led towards the small park that belonged to the hospital. It was already getting dark and the lights outside where already on. As I stepped outside the cold air blew into my face wiping some worries away. I took a deep breath and slowly wandered through the small park and sat down on a nearby bench, enjoying the silence, which gave me a much needed break. A break from everything I heard the last few hours, a break from the day's events and from everything that was connected to it. I mind drifted back to the moment before Don had called us to that crime scene. The moment that was filled with sparks, unknown desire and love. The moment Mac nearly kissed me. Thinking about his soft voice when he had been flirting lightly and thinking about the moment he had put his arms around me brought the tears back once again.

"Oh Mac…" I whispered cheerlessly into the quietness.

There were so many things I wanted to tell him. No, wait, there was one most important thing I needed to tell him. Damn it, Stella, why haven't you… I started scolding myself, but then stopped. Yeah, I know, why haven't I told him earlier… why haven't I called him on pulling back when we were on the way to the lab… why haven't you acted on this before… This isn't going to make it any better… he needs your strength, not your regrets. He needs your love, not your depression. And when he's awake you tell him whatever you need to tell him. Whatever it takes. The intelligent part of my brain told me.

I sat on the bench for a while, when suddenly my phone buzzed to life. I took it out of my pocket, fearing it would be one of the nurses, but luckily it was Lisa's name on the display.

"Hi." I answered my phone.

"Hey… just heard about Mac… Wanted to know how you're doing…" Lisa started.

"I'm trying my best… How'd you know?"

"Heard it on the news… where are you, sweetie? At the hospital?"

"Yeah. At the moment I'm getting some fresh air…"

"Do you want me to come to the hospital?"

"No… thanks… I'm fine. I don't want to drag you into this…" I said.

"Kay… if you need anything, let me know, okay? How's Mac?"

"He's fighting for his life… it's uncertain if he'll survive, but they're optimistic." I answered her question and again my eyes watered.

"I'm so sorry, sweetie. You really don't want me to come over?"

"No I'm fine."

"You know, I never call you for a story, but is it true that this might be connected with this serial killer who killed the judge today?" Lisa asked me.

"Who said that?"

"The news speaker."

"Listen sweetie, this serial killer… and whatever I'll say about that must stay with you, okay?"

"Sure. You know you can trust me, right?"

"Yeah, I know. Look, this serial killer is true, but nobody can confirm that he was the one who shot Mac, but for me it's obvious that it was him."

"How'd you know?"

"You have to keep it for yourself, okay?"

"Sure. Must be quite important to you…"

"Mac was shot because of me. This serial killer is targeting me and…" I started and told her what had happened.

"You lived with him?" she asked surprised.

"Yeah… like him better than any other officer. It was supposed to be me…"

"Stella, sweetie… he's going to be fine. He's got one hell of a tough and strong woman as his best friend…"

"I know…" I said and then saw a nurse hurrying toward me and a nervous feeling started to take over.

"I gotta go, Lisa… I talk to you soon, I promise." I said and hung up after we said goodbye. I watched the nurse hurrying toward me and hoped that my bad feeling wouldn't come true.

Still interested, or did I bore you this time? No? Good! What do think? Will Stella's bad gut feeling come true? What will she hear from the nurse and what do you think has happened? Please let me know :)

A/N: For those of you who've read my story 'Tragedy and Joy'... I've decided to delete that story, since it's not going as I expected it would... So I deleted it and will start this story all over again and possibly publish the sequel to 'Happy Birthday Sweetheart' with another title. Still thinking about including Ella McBrides death... those who read 'Fabulous Wedding' know that I killed her off (sorry...) Do you guys still want that Ella McBride story? Oh and I've got a small thank you to AIP for discussing my decision with me :) Thanks for encouraging me :) When I've got a new idea, you'll be the first to know :-) After me, of course.

blackrose538