Epilogue
Nine hours later…
Shepard felt fresh today, and he also wore a suit, something he only wore recently. This suit had only been worn once and only for business at Bekenstein. He wore it in order to follow Tali's suggestion so he can be a changed man. There was also other thing that he promised to Tali. It was a promise to deal with the implications of what Shepard and Tali did last night with a different attitude. Tali convinced him that even though Shepard knew that the Normandy was in shambles, he needed to take it in different way. It was a hard lesson, but as long as Tali was by his side, he knew he could do it.
"EDI. what's the condition of the ship?" Shepard asked while in the lift.
"The ship perfectly fine commander, though almost the crew are not at their post at this moment." EDI reported.
"And why is that?"
"They are still in port observation room."
"Then I should go there."
"Of course, commander."
The lift stopped. It's door opened. As Shepard walked out, he could smell a terrible stench and loud music. Now Shepard could deduce something was going on. Is that the sound I heard last night in starboard cargo ?Those idiots are having a party on my ship! At my expense! he said to himself. Then he started to remember his promise, that he needed to endure it. He walked into Kasumi's room. As the door opened, he could see that Garrus and Thane were having a casual conversation with drinks in their hand. They were also seemed to be watching something. Shepard interrupted the conversation.
"I see you both are still half sober."
"Hey, give me some slack Commander, this is the first time I joined a mutiny on a ship." Garrus replied as he glanced to Shepard.
"Right..." Shepard said, and then he glanced at Thane.
"Well sir, you said that I need to come outside and make more beautiful memories. I can't do that if I'm drunk." Thane said with an innocent face.
"Good point. So what are you doing here besides chatting and drinking? Don't you need to go back to your post?" Shepard asked.
"I'm sorry Commander, we actually were admiring how Grunt slept." Garrus answered as he pointed to Grunt sleeping on the floor.
"Hmm... You're right, it's fascinating. This is the first time I've see him sleeping with his eyes closed and not standing." The commander mused.
"He looks cute actually, when he sleeps like that." Thane gave his opinion.
Shepard can't hide his amazement about Thane's statement.
"Okay, glad to hear that you have high confidence about your masculinity, Thane... So who started this... activity?" Shepard asked.
"That would be Zaeed." The Turian answered truthfully.
"Both of you, just go to your posts, and bring Grunt along." Shepard ordered.
"But waking him up is like waking up a hibernating nathak! Do you know how nasty they are." Garrus complained.
"Then you should sneak around and pull his tail. That, or you face my wrath."
"Yes, sir." Thane obliged lazily.
Shepard then walked toward the bar. He hoped he found someone sober enough to still serve some drinks. As he neared the bar stool he called the bartender. Out of nowhere Mordin appeared from under the counter. Shepard was surprised.
"Mordin? You're the barkeep?"
"Yes Commander, I'm the bartender. It's logical choice since I'm expert on all kind of poison. I make sure that crew health is sound and all in order." Mordin answered.
"Order? This room is just a jumble of mess. I can see a crack in that window, a couple of drunkards lying around, and broken furniture and glass. I'm already afraid of what you consider chaos." Shepard said doubtfully.
"Nonsense, according to my statistics on all Omega's bar activity this is actually very mild." Mordin argued.
"This is not Omega's bar, Mordin. I think you went to the wrong place for statistics." Shepard started to shake his head,
"Well Shepard, need to compare it to worst case scenario.." Mordin argued again.
"Where is Zaeed?" Shepard tried to change the topic, since he didn't want to prolong the argument.
"He's over there," Mordin pointed out at the man in the corner.
"Thanks Mordin. Find Gardner and help him clean up the mess and get the crew back on their feet." Shepard ordered.
"Yes Commander." Mordin obliged.
The commander walked to a man that sat on the floor and wallowing in a half state of consciousness. Shepard tried to wake him up by kicking Zaeed's feet.
"Whaaat?" Zaeed woke up suddenly. Then he looked up. He saw the commander. The headache, just vanished. Now he was truly sober. And scared shitless. This was the first time he had actually been scared, the first time in a very long time.
"Zaeed?" Shepard said calmly.
"Yes commander...?"
"I didn't know you had leadership quality in you, Zaeed. You just successfully instigated a full blown revolt on my ship. Do you know how mercs handle this? You should know about that."
"Can we talk about this first, Commander?"
"It's alright Zaeed. I just came here to say that I'm sorry took your quarters. I promise it won't happen again."
Zaeed looked dumbfounded. He had expected the worst from the commander, not the opposite.
"It's all right? Whoa you must have really scored last night, Commander."
"Don't push it Zaeed. Now a word of advice, if you are thinking of doing this again, I will nail your balls on the CIC's wall as a trophy, understood?"
Shepard said, with quite the cheery voice. It was so eerie, it made Shepard look even scarier.
"Fully understood commander, can I... Go to the bathroom? I need to throw up."
"Be my guest."
As Zaeed stood up and ran to men's restroom, Shepard scanned the room. He was looking for Joker. He needed to know if his fail safe procedure worked. After he look intently, he smiled to himself. At least one of his safety procedures worked. Now he wanted to check the cockpit of the Normandy to see if his assumption was right.
He walked outside and toward the lift, but stopped in the middle of aisle. He heard an uproar behind the door of life support room. It was the sound of people arguing. Shepard thought that there should not be anybody in there. He knew the voices behind the door and thought he needed to check it out. He screamed at the occupant through the door.
"Whoever inside this room, come out now!"
The uproar died down. A moment later the door opened. First came out Jacob, his clothing in tatters. He looked slightly sober. He gave a hand gesture that resembled a salute and then came out Miranda. Her condition was even worse than Jacob. Her hair was disordered, she looked very unpleasant, and her dress was a little too revealing. Then Shepard saw something strange, like an optical illusion that existed beside Miranda. Shepard quickly could deduce was it was.
"Kasumi, I know you're in there, your cloak was not set properly."
Then out of the blue, a figure came out of thin air. It was Kasumi. Her attempts to dress quickly failed. The cloak also failed because her body was not as covered as it should be. She was also in bad shape. Shepard took a look at door again, suspicious that it might have one person left in the room.
"It's only three of you?" He asked Jacob.
"No sir, you missed Jack." Jacob replied.
"Jack! Come out!" Shepard yelled.
Jack came outside like a kid that had been ratted out. Her face looked sullen. Of course since Jack's dress was not actually clothing, she was the most normal in the group, as normal as Jack could be. Shepard started to think about what he should do.
"I don't want to know how you all 'swing', I expected that this hasn't affected our job."
"No sir, this is not what you think, we just... We don't know how we ended up in the same room." Jacob answered Shepard's order as de facto leader of the group.
"Oh I know; alcohol, stress, sexual tension, I don't have to be a detective for that. Just curious, is your skin starting to itch, and is it rather dry?"
"Why do you ask that commander?"
"Mordin just confirmed an STD outbreak on Normandy. It's call Varren's scale-itch that's the first symptom." Shepard lied.
The group members looked at each other and started to race to infirmary.
Ten minutes later on Normandy's cockpit.
As usual, the Normandy's cockpit was still lively and well. There was an argument between man and machine -a man that forgot that he actually talked to machine and a machine that forgot that it was actually a machine. The machine was still reciting the Cerberus regulations.
"Now we discussed act 1337 chapter 2003 part 3." A blue ball of light recited.
"Come on EDI, you almost recited all the rules in the book. It's already 9 hours here, and my pee bottle is already full." Joker begged.
"By ignoring this activity you will only add your list of offenses."
"Damn, EDI... Okay just tell me what the rules are about!"
"It's about fraternization."
"What? Who do I fraternize with? I'm always alone here, flying my ship!"
"You forgot about me, Joker."
"What? How the hell...That doesn't count!"
"It's the thought that counts."
"Why, you..." Joker protested.
"I see you're still working, Joker." A voice came from behind Joker's seat. Joker knew the voice. It was Commander Shepard.
"Do you see what your handiwork has done to me, Shepard?" Joker said it with an annoyed face.
"There is no rule of fraternization in Cerberus's rule book, Joker. EDI is just pulling your leg." The commander said.
"If she literally can do that, I will whack that disco ball with it!" A frustrated Joker replied.
"Help me here Commander! Please?"
"You know I could reinitiate the procedure." Shepard smiled.
"Ha ha ha, very funny Commander. But you wouldn't... Would you?" Joker started to worry.
"Of course not, the joke would get old if it was told twice."
"That mean you are preparing another procedure?" Joker asked in horror.
Shepard just ignored Joker's question with a smile. "EDI stop this procedure."
"The procedure has stopped." The AI responded to Shepard's request.
"Wait Commander! What do you mean with 'this procedure'?" Joker asked Shepard desperately.
The commander turned his back. Now He needed to do his daily tasks. As he walked through the corridor he found Kelly. She had a big smile on her face. With her curiosity she asked,
"Commander, this is the first time I've seen you smiled." Kelly asked curiously.
"Well you know who's to blame." Shepard replied rather sheepishly.
Kelly knew that her captain already found his peace. She was really happy for him. It's the same feeling when she helped people to find their love for a first time . A feeling that became a reason why she became psychiatrist. Then she remembered her tasked.
"Commander, you've received a new messages on your private terminal."
"Are you trying to pull a prank on me Kelly? I already read that messages." Shepard said it in amazement.