I couldn't update cause my internet really sucked. Then I kept getting distracted by picnics,exams, singing along to Wicked on my exercise bike and the like. You know, the usual.

Even for someone who just kissed another guy, I'm very masculine. So I had no reasonable explanation nor idea why I was at the cinema, holding two tickets for Sex and the City 2. Actually, maybe I did. After I kissed Butters behind the gym, something happened. As in a 'we kiss alot' happen. I can't explain or even remember his reaction, cause' it gave me a sort of light headed adrenaline rush. All I know is that one day after school that week; I went to Butter's place to 'study', and instead we kissed and watched Stuart Little. He was so cute and shy about it, and that's what makes me want more. Of course everyone who knows me knows that I don't study. At all. That excuse was set up to fail. So this Friday when we went to the cinema, I had the whole 'back of the cinema' thing planned out; I've done it before, it never I knew we'd have to see a movie that we wouldn't be distracted by, or where we'd see anyone we knew. Could you imagine that?

'Hey..Cartman, is that Kenny back there? With Butters?' Although there's nobody I know who'd want to go to the cinema with Cartman.

So it was Sex and the City 2. What straight guy would want to see that right? Turns out...alot. Because there's some very raunchy scenes where its basically Samantha giving someone a fuck and screaming "YES YES YES." And guys like that, I won't even pretend that I didn't get hard. But there were so many guys, I couldn't so much as touch Butters. Infact during a boring scene I had a look around and met eyes with Craig. He narrowed his eyes and flipped me off, before sliding down in his seat, so all I could see was his middle finger and the puff ball on his hat. Have I ever mentioned how fucking weird he is?

I raised my eyebrow and leaned back in my seat, before putting my feet up on the seat infront. Butters was so captivated by the movie, and it was then I again remembered how innocent he is. He's probably never seen this stuff before. Seconds later I felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket, and I pulled it out quickly. The phone had been purchased from months of saving, I needed it incase there was an emergency at home, such as my mom or Karen; though lately its been Kevin and his fucking heroin problem.

Message Received: Craig

The fuck did he want now?

this movie suks fcking balls. time for fag? A cigarette? Hell yeah. I smiled at Butters and shook his elbow gently. "Just going for a piss, kay?" He nodded quickly, too entranced by the movie. I smirked, standing up and walking out the door. I left the screen room and went out the fire exit to the escape way. The alarm didn't work, just like half the fire alarms in town. Moments later Craig came out, cigarette and light already in hand. He sparked up and held out the lighter to me, which I took as I'd left mine at home.

"Your there for the sex scenes huh?" Craig asks.

"Yeah..." I reply uneasily, tossing the lighter back to him.

"Yeah, me and Clyde too."

So he'd left Clyde in there. I wouldn't be surprised if the guy was actually attempting to jack off. Cartman was still a little pissed at Clyde for abandoning us in WoW battle, so he could read Playboy.

"So whats going on between you and Clyde?" I ask, "I saw you at the party."

Craig flips me off with his free hand, "I don't fucking know." he said. "He likes Token I think,the fag." he mutters, taking a drag and almost eating the thing.

"Your just jealous." I snorted, making smoke filter through my nostrils.

"I'm jealous?" Craig quickly turns his head, glaring at me.

"J-e-a-lous." I nod, "Because you made out with Clyde and Tweek at Bebe's party,but you couldn't choose who you liked more; and a polygamous relationship would be too strange, for them. And now your upset cause' Tokens got to Clyde first."

"Fucking hell McCormick."

"Ammi' right?"

Craig stayed silent for a moment, before grunting and shrugging. "Whatever."

"And don't you think you maybe owe a little to Token?" I continued. "He took you back to his after you were shit faced, and he forgave you for hurling in his moms antique vase."

"Maybe." Craig replied, before throwing his cigarette down. He has a record at school for the fastest smoker.

"And Clyde was the one who put the pictures up and carried on partying."

"Kenny." Craig glared at me still,but more harshly. "Instead of trying to get me to reflect on my party actions, why don't you focus on yours?" he snapped. "I'm not the one who has a mini-me on the way."

What.

"What?" I repeat, and turn to him; eyes narrowed. "Where the fuck did you hear that?" I'm suddenly so pissed, I feel like punching Craig right across his fucking face.

"You weren't exactly quiet behind the gym, when you told Butters all about your party whore." It was Craig's turn to snort now, "You should of waited till I was out of hearing range. Or were you hoping for a polygamous relationship with them both?"

The last part is a spiteful jibe, and it works. I punch Craig in the face, and he staggers back into the door; before smirking. Then quickly he punches me back, and I collapse back onto the escape rail. We provoked eachother, and we both deserved what we got.

"We're even." I say grumpily, running a finger around the inside of my mouth; to check for blood.

Craig grunts, rubbing the spot where I clocked him. "Whatever." he scoffs and leaves me, going back inside. I sigh checking my finger which is dabbed with specks of blood. I glance at my cigarette, still burning, and throw it to the ground.

Back in the cinema I find Butters still transfixed with the film. Daringly I check nobody is looking before pecking his cheek as I sit down, and he smiles cutely at me. I'm suddenly really tired, I don't want to sit here for another hour or so watching this thing, but I don't wanna' let down Butters. Instead I lean back and put my feet up infront of me again, where I fall asleep thankfully through the whole film. I awake to Butters poking me, and nattering away about the girls well tuned karaoke cover of 'I am Woman.' Sighing I sit up rubbing my eyes, and yawn.

"Finally." I mutter, "That sucked balls."

"You didn't like it?" Butters pouts, "Well why didn't you say Kenny, if your not enjoying yourself then I sure aint'."

"You are if you don't know I'm not." I reply, but it doesn't make any sense. The cinema is empty now so I lean in, kissing Butters softly; smiling as I feel him tense. When you take him by sup rise its the best. I move away slightly, but only so my face is inches from his. "Now I'm enjoying myself." I whisper and turn into the aisle.

"S-so whatta' you wanna do tomorrow Kenny?" Butters asks, jogging to catch up with me.

"I can't little man." I say, shrugging effortlessly. "I'm taking Marnie for a scan, but I'm gonna' get a picture, so I'll come show you."

"Wow!" Butters says excitedly. "A picture of your baby already?"

"Not a proper one, it'll be blurry and- shit."

"It won't be shit, not if its your baby!"
"No I mean shit!" We're in the foyer now, and I grab Butters wrist and point. "Its Wendy!"

"So?" Butters asks, before he realises. "Oh!"

"Lets get outta here-" I begin to say, but its to late. Wendy spots us, and her eyes light up before walking over.

"Hey, what are you guys doing here?" she smiles and I elbow Butters so he knows to let me do the talking.

"We were just catching a film." I shrug trying to sound casual. "Human Centipede."

Wendy's face tightens and she wrinkles her nose. "Ewww gross." she glances at my hand before back at me, with an unreadable expression. "Then why are you holding two torn tickets to Sex and the City?' she asks, and I can't even try to defend myself. Wendy's one of the smartest people in class along with Kyle and Token, and I can see into her mind through her eyes, putting everything together in a matter of minutes.

"Kenny." she blinks. "You and?" she looks at Butters. I run a hand through my hair worriedly.

"Fuck, Wendy look- we, well..please..." I trail off and to my surprise Wendy looks amused.

"I won't say anything Kenny but shit..." she smirks. "Are all you guys turning gay or something? Is it a new fad?"

"You know about Craig too?" I ask and Wendy's eyes widen more than I've ever seen. "Craig too?" she practically hisses with awe. Shit.

"Then...who did you mean Wendy?" Butters asks, standing by innocently. Wendy smiles weakly, "Can't say." she says. "I promised them too."

"Are you here with Stan?" I can't stand this now, I have to change the conversation. Wendy frowns in remembrance. "No, I'm here with Bebe. You just reminded me actually, she's in the bathroom. She had some weird reaction to the nacho cheese...So I should go."

"Okay, well see ya' Wendy!" Butters waves enthusiastically and Wendy waves back to him, before she goes to the ladies toilets. Butters looks at me, still smiling and tilts his head. "Well what do you say to that huh?"

"Fucking hell." I let out a huge sigh, which has been building up. "I don't know. Lets just get back to mine huh?"

Butters smiles and nods, before daringly grabbing my hand, and leading me outside.

Stan

"This movie is crap."

I can't say I disagree. I shift my position on the couch and grab a handful of shattered corn chips from the bottom of the bag. Kyle scratches his head beneath his hat and looks seriously confused. "So does Lindsey Lohan likes the bitches boyfriend or the one shes with in the projection room?"

"Dude I have no idea." I admit swallowing the chips. "Is she friends with the stress head and the dumb one or not?"

"I don't know. Like, at all."

We watch as Lindsey Lohan pukes all over the bitches boyfriend. Okay so me and Kyle are watching that Mean Girls. After watching the girls from our class I got Kyle round to watch the film, on several girls recommendations that it was 'the best film ever.' But the thing made no freaking sense.

"I wouldn't say it was the best film ever." Wendy had said. "But it certainly shows a realistic view on the social divide in modern day high school."

It's a good thing my girlfriend is hot.

"Your such returds." Shelley seethes sticking her head around the kitchen door. "Lindsey Lohan likes Regina's boyfriend and is trying to get him to find out about Shane Omen and the projection room, and Karen and Gretchen are friends with Lindsey Lohan now."

"Like I said, this movie is crap." Kyle frowns and Shelley glares. "You just cant appreciate a good film Jew."

"It's a chick flick!" Kyle scoffs, and the microwave alarm rings making Shelley retreat back to the kitchen.

"I thought you would appreciate a good chick flick Kyle." I raise my eyebrow skeptically and he glares back at me, flipping me off.

"I just said gay Stan." he says in a quiet voice. "Not flamboyant gay."

"Fuck it." I say, pressing stop on the remote. "It sucks too much."

I stand up and stretch, and Kyle does the same. We head up to my room and Kyle flops onto my bed, knocking random crap off the end.

So we made up. Kinda.

When I say made up, I mean we carried on as if nothing had ever happened. Or atleast, as if nothing had happened and I had always known Kyle to like boys. But honestly, I preferred it that way. I was trying harder to get used to it, but talk about stuff like that still made me uncomfortable.

I turned on my computer whilst he slid a comic out from under my bed, my place is a shit pit. Maybe I should have seen the signs. Had there been any. Signs that Kyle was gay. He wasn't a huge girl enthusiast like Kenny, but he did notice girls he considered hot from time to time, and he joined in the conversations about boobs. I knew he'd kissed a girl, even if it was Rebbeca Cotswold (whose still a big slut). Then in seventh grade he went out with Bebe for like, a week before Clyde's dads shoe shop got new shipment.

"Dude, do you know whats up with Kenny?" Kyle asked, flipping a page or two.

"No," I answered, because I honestly haven't noticed anything. "Why whats up?"

"Its probably nothing." Kyle shrugged. "Just he's been a bit different since like...three weeks ago or something. And remember when he said he couldn't come paint balling cause he was 'studying'? The fuck dude, Kenny doesn't study."

"Maybe he's started." I said, to be honest I'm not really that bothered. Kenny goes weird all the time, since his dad left he disappears once a month to do something or the other. "Or it could be like when Cartman said he was 'helping his mom with stuff', and he was actually jacking off to Mulan.'

"The fuck?" Kyle scowls. Obviously he didn't hear about that. "Anyway, nobody cares about Cartman. He's a dick."

True. He's still the same racist, manipulative, son of a crack whore bastard he always was. Except he's not as fat anymore. He lost alot of it and the rest turned to muscle. But we still call him fat just to get at him. Its funny.

"I need to piss." I say half rolling off my chair. I must of drunk about three cans of soda in a row, the new bigger cans, '50% extra...FOR FREE!'. I avoid standing on a left over dinner plate and move across the room. "You can check your facebook or whatever while I'm gone. I might be awhile..."

Kyle snickers and nods, getting up off my bed. As I walk past I step on another strewn comic and slip. I fall right into Kyle and we land on the floor in a crumpled heap. I should really clean my fucking room.

Straight away I panicked. On the floor with my gay best friend, as you do. But instead Kyle shoved me away and sat up, rubbing his arm. "You weigh a fucking ton Stan." he scowled and I throw my head back laughing. Then I gaily flex my muscle.

"It comes with being a jock."

"Don't you mean cock?"

"Would you like me to mean that?"

I'm on fire today. Kyle's eyes narrow. "Your not going to let this go are you?" he asks and I snort. "Hardly, its comeback gold."

Kyle sighs and leans back against the bed, before slowly snaking to the floor, flat on his back. I jump up and run to the bathroom, where I finally relieve myself. As usual I look at the wall while I wazz. The ugly duck wallpaper has been there for years, but my parents can't be bothered to redecorate. That's why most of the money goes on stupid things, like my dads Margaritaville or Shelley's three hamsters which all died within a week of their purchases.

I don't understand whats going on. Ever since Bebe's party everythings gone really wierd. As in everyone is acting strange. Now that I think about it Kenny has been acting a little weirder than usual. But I suppose you don't nearly get hit by a train and carry on perfectly normal. It wasn't just that either, ever since Kyle came out to me I can't help noticing things. The little things like the way he sits, and the way he moves his hands and eats. Its all so graceful and cute, but I've never noticed it before.

There's other things too, how when he smiles his nose wrinkles, and how his face is creaseless when he thinks deeply, like a doll. And I have to stop myself here. These are the thoughts that indicate I like guys too. And I don't. I think. That's the problem, he's got me so unsure, I actually lose sleep over it.

Quickly I dry up and splash my hands with water. Then I go back to my bedroom where Kyle is still flat out, staring at the ceiling.

"Bebe tried to make a move on me yesterday." he says sounding put out, while blowing up his cheeks and making bored wacky faces.

"Oh." I say slowly, remembering what Wendy had told me. 'I want you to help me continue to push Kyle towards Bebe.' "So what happened?"

"She started nattering about the freaking party." he sighed running his hands through his hair, knocking his hat off. "And invited us to her next one, next month."

"Sweet." I replied, sitting back on my chair I spun to face him. He was frowning deeply. "I don't want to go. I don't pictures of me and Craig everywhere again. Some freshman asked me if I 'fucked him in the ass'."

I laugh loudly. "Seriously?"

"Yeah!" Kyle pushed himself up, and I smirk. "Are you sure you didn't?"

His head snaps to face me and I laugh again, at the pure horror on his face. "Chill man, you didn't."

"Don't fucking scare me like that!" Kyle points at me accusingly before scratching his ankle.

I lean back and smile to myself, before I feel it slip away as I look at the ceiling myself. Its so white and clean, and it makes it seem like everything around me is tidy even though its a fucking tip. My thoughts wander to what Wendy said again, before I say. "So there's nothing between you and Bebe?"

Kyle is quick to answer. "Duh, nothing. Dude you can't make gay comebacks against me then ask me that."

I shouldn't say the next thing, but its like word vomit, I just can't stop myself. "It sounds biased, but dude, can you be sure of your sexuality at this age?"

Silence. Kyle says nothing for a while so I glance up, and he's looking down at his feet. Crap.

"The fuck." he mutters quietly. "I thought we'd got past this point."

"We have." I say quickly, relieved he atleast responded. Until word vomit takes over again. "It's just Wendy said-"

Kyle's head flys up, and he's staring at me frantically. "Wendy said? What do you mean Wendy said?" he grips his hair with one hand, using the other to steady himself. "Stan did you tell her? For crying out loud! I thought I could trust you!"

His voice is rising as he talks, I know I've hurt him now. Maybe its not word vomit. Maybe I should just fucking think about what I say.

"I didn't tell her." I say quickly. "She figured it out, honestly!" I lick my lips. "But its okay Kyle, she promised not to say anything." Kyle laughs manically.

"Oh she promised." he snorted. "Okay then, I'll trust you because she promised."

"Shut up Kyle!" I shout back now. "You can trust Wendy, my girlfriend is not a liar, if she says she won't tell, then she won't tell. Got it?"

Kyle pulls his legs up and sits in a crouched position against my bed. How did a simple movie night go so downhill? See what I mean? Everythings changed.

Watching Kyle sit there is actually painful. I can't stand it for long. Something gets the better of me, and I'm suddenly down on the floor kneeling next to him. Then when he lifts his head to look at me I grab it, pulling it up I kiss him furiously.

Kenny

Later that night I drove Butters back to mine in my crumbling truck, which in all fairness had patched up pretty well since the accident. We may have been figured out by Wendy, but the fact we got away with it gave me a thrill, like when you ride a roller coaster or escape the cops on a beer run. Adrenalin. To make the night even better when I stopped the truck I sat still for a moment, before turning to Butters. I kissed him quickly, and he looped his arms around my neck, grabbing my hair with one hand. I'd waited for this all week, and when your trying to be secretive, you don't when the next time will be.

Slowly I pushed against Butters, lowering him to the seat. I pressed my lips harder against his and I could feel his cheeks flush, my face was so close. I reached my left hand up to his shirt - bang.

What the fuck was that? I jumped, pulling away from Butters I fell off of the seat to the floor, winding myself on the gearstick on the way.

"The fuck-the fuck-the fuck?' I hissed, grabbing my side and writhing in pain. It had caught my side, the rib or the lung, or whatever; and it hurt like fucking hell. Butter's blue eyes peered over the edge of the seat wide in concern.

"Kenny! Are you okay?" his eyes flickered to the windscreen and back to me. "What was that?"

"I dunno'." I grunted and clenched my teeth in pain. "But I'll fucking find out." I reached up and grabbed the dashboard, using it to pull myself up. I opened the door and tumbled out onto the sidewalk, grazing my cheek against the rough ground. I would fucking murder this thing. I pushed myself up in time to see a hand snake off the bonnet and to the ground with a thump. I hobbled to the front of my car to find Kevin passed out on the road, lay in a puddle of his own vomit.

"It's fine Butters." I called, finally regaining some of my breath. "It's just my bastard of a brother." Butters climbed out the truck and walked to the front, biting his nails with nerves. "Did he? I mean-"

"No he wouldn't have seen us." I say, "He's too drunk."

My night had turned to shambles because of Kevin. Again. "Look, I have to get him inside." I sigh, glancing at Butters. "Do you want me to drive you home?"

"Nope." Butters says firmly. "I can walk. You just look after your brother mister." he stretches onto the tips of his toes and kisses my cheek. "And I'll see you and the baby picture on Monday."

Do you see how fucking understanding he is? He's already walking away into the darkness, tufty blond locks blowing while he whistles some weird tune.

I give a piqued sigh, before walking back to Kevin and slinging his arm over my shoulder, like I had with Kyle. How many times would I have to do this in my life? I dragged him towards the house, and into the front room. I can't leave him simply because I don't want my mom or Karen to get upset. They don't like seeing Kev a mess, and that's pretty much all the time these days. I take Kev to the bathroom and push him down against the side of the tin bathtub, which shifts under his weight, and he slumps over again. Using the beaker we use for washing hair, I fill it with cold water from the taps, and throw it over his head. He stirs slightly, only nearly conscious. I fill the beaker again and push it to his face.

"Drink it you dick." I order, and his hand fumbles for the beaker, until he final grasps it and laps up half the water whilst spilling the rest all over himself. He then pushes the beaker away and I fill it again, pushing it back to him. Kev refuses to take it until I grab his hair and yank his head back.

"Your going to drink this you bastard." I scowl, and hold it to his mouth. He's to drunk to think, never mind fight, and gulps whatever makes it into his mouth. Then he lurches and I shove him to the toilet where he hurls into it, splashing the sides.

"Your a fucking waste of space, you know that?" I hold his head over the toilet until he's finished, only to fall back asleep face down in his vomit. Grabbing his hair and his shirt collar, I drag him across the house to my room, where I fling him in the corner in my clothes pile. If my mom finds him somewhere in the house, passed out, she'll freak; and I don't want her to. Kevin grunts like a pig and curls up, against a shirt and a scarf.

I don't hate my brother. But you have to know how to handle him when he comes home like this, or you get a call from someone saying they found him somewhere with a needle sticking out his arm. I won't deny my family have always been heavy drinkers. Kevin started drinking when he was thirteen, sharing beers with my dad and drinking at the skate park with other kids his age. He told me he first tried heroin when he was sixteen, a year before dad left. Dad sorted him out first when he turned up a mess, and I guess that's where I learned how to deal with it. Kevin's only friend now is Scott Tenorman, who's on so many drugs after what Cartman did to him, and he only turns up to leech shit off Kev.

I strip down to my boxer shorts and climb into bed, staring at the sky through my curtainless window. The only words I could think of right now were ones I had been thinking alot latley. Fuck my life.

Pretty crappy update, but you have to give babies time to bake, and I'm trying to get it done quickly so Marnie leaves and the baby can arrive... I don't like Marnie, I'm only using her for her uterus. LOL

Oh my its so hot tonight. I'm missing sleep to give this to you guys, and I already dont get enough sleep as it is. Which is why I fail my exams.

Your reviews are so lovely, I will reply to you all so...review pls. :D