A/N: oh my god guys, this chapter kicked my ass. But you all brought up a lot of valid questions and I knew that there were things that needed further explanation. This is the only way I could think to do it. meh, it's a bit of a filler chapter, but I really felt that it needed to be done.

Mello wolfed down the meal in front of him, so hungry he wondered when he'd last eaten properly. Matt had cooked him a thin stake and canned green beans, a meal that Mello understood was rare.

"Slow down Mello, it's not going anywhere!" Mello chuckled; it had been an hour and still no sign of regression from the blond. He was high on relief and couldn't stop smiling. He let go of all the worries that had been plaguing his mind in favor of soaking up each moment with the chocoholic at his table. He had a million questions that he wanted to ask but he was sure that Mello felt the same. Leaning against the kitchen counter, he passively watched the blond finish up and sit back. He was still too thin but that was something that could be fixed with time. Matt also noticed the state of his clothes. Thinking about it, he realized that they must be uncomfortable with the amount of sweat they were soaked with.

"Let me grab you some new clothes ok?" He ambled into the bedroom where he noticed his gun still on the cabinet. Looking over his shoulder, he stuck it in the bedside drawer and resolved to contemplate his mental breakdown later.

"Here Mello, I know my stuff is a little to big but-" He stood frozen in the doorway as Mello froze as well staring at him. In his hands was a raw steak and blood dripped from his lips. He swallowed and looked down guiltily.

"I-I just couldn't help myself… when you were cooking it, the steak looked so good raw…" He looked up at the redhead's panic stricken face and quickly added, "I swear I don't feel infected! I'm fine Matt, really."

Matt only smiled numbly and walked forward. "Here, get changed ok?"

Mello reached up to press his hand against the gamer's cheek. "I really am ok." His eyes were pleading for Matt to believe him.

"I trust you, it just scared me is all." Mello nodded in understanding and took the clothes gratefully.

"So can I get a shower?" He smiled coyly, trying to lighten the mood even as he wiped the blood from his mouth.

"Sorry prima donna, only sponge baths now." Matt was smiling again but he handed the plain clothes over. Mello was pouting but he took them and headed for the bathroom.

Over his shoulder he called out. "We need to talk after."

Matt understood and grunted affirmative. There was still much to be said. He wasn't sure if he should mention his possible insanity or not, especially if Mello didn't remember. Perhaps it was best if he didn't know. He tried to gather his thoughts together; choose his questions and plan his answers, knowing Mello would be doing the same in the next room. The blond took his sweet time, giving Matt ample opportunity to stop and think.

When he was done, Mello came out toweling off his hair. He sat on the other end of the couch facing Matt so that they could have a proper conversation. He held up his hand as the redhead made to speak. "Before we get started, I think we should trade off questions. I'll ask one, you ask one, etc. alright? That way we can keep things going. Or, you could choose to tell something that I might not know to ask about and vice versa." Matt agreed and waited for Mello's first question as he obviously wanted to start.

"What did you think when I left?" Mello started at the beginning, setting a pattern of asking questions in chronological order. He waited patiently for Matt to think over his answer.

"I didn't know what to think, you were just gone. It was the same as Whammy's and I was terrified that this time there wouldn't be a call for me to get you out of some crap situation. You promised me and then just disappeared. There was no warning, nothing that I could figure out to have made you run. You just weren't there Mello, after I trusted that you would be." He let Mello take it in before continuing, noting how guilty the blond looked.

"But Mello, you had good reasons. I don't blame you for anything ok? I wish you had told me, and it kind of hurts but… I'm not mad at you." Mello finally looked up from his intense gaze at the couch cushion and gave a curt nod, fighting down his emotion. He had promised himself to get though the conversation without crying.

"My turn now, tell me more about how the virus was spreading without anyone knowing for so long. I mean, I guess that kind of explains how it could hit so fast, seemingly out of nowhere."

Mello nodded. "Word didn't get out because the mafia, and other organized crime, didn't' want it to. Think about it, would you buy drugs after the man selling them died from a mysterious disease? And it wasn't just the drug market. Who would join the mafia if they knew that it put them in close rage of a virus with devastating effects? Out men would have run for the hills so we kept it quiet and killed anyone suspected of being infected." He looked pensive for a few moments as he lapped at some Hershey's chocolate sauce. It was one of the few chocolate products left that hadn't spoiled.

"Actually, our policy's are what helped keep it from spreading to the general public. It was only when we'd lost too many people and begun to fall apart that it started spreading so rapidly. On the other hand, it was probably the black market that helped spread it to different continents." He stopped and Matt nodded that it was an adequate explanation. He knew what had happened afterwards.

"I want to know what you've been doing since then." Just from looking around, the electricity powering the lights, and fresh meat in the fridge, it was obvious that Matt was doing well for himself.

"Well I stayed her obviously, and played it safe for a good while. I just used common sense and survived the initial panic. Then when things were a little more settled I started going out for supplies. I kept it simple for a long time until there were less and less infected in the area. Then I started exploring a little more and getting this place set up. I did a lot of searching on the internet, especially for you but… obviously that didn't work. There's a community nearby and I started doing work for them in exchange for anything I needed or wanted that I couldn't get myself. Long story short, I've just been waiting here."

Mello dismissed the wave of guilt threatening to overcome him at the last line. "What's a community?"

"Hey now, it's my turn isn't it?" He smirked jokingly before conceding. "It's a bit like a small city protected from the outside world. Then you have loners like me. We can't exactly grow crops and livestock on our own out here and they don't like to come outside so we trade." He smiled when Mello yawned widely and waited for his question. "Look, why don't we just go to sleep and get our internal clocks back on track ok? We've both been sleeping odd hours for a while now. I promise that we can continue in the morning ok?"

It looked like Mello would protest but another yawn had him nodding yes.

"Good, you take the bed." He nodded back toward the bedroom.

"What? I'm not taking your bed! Either you sleep with me, or I take the couch." He stood firm, crossing his arms to prove his stubbornness. The redhead lifted his hands in surrender.

"Fine, fine." It wasn't like they hadn't shared a bed during the kira investigation. They were best friends after all, so it shouldn't be weird. Matt knew that it would be for him though. There was something that he desperately needed to say to Mello during their continuing conversation the next morning. He'd waited to tell the blond how he felt and now five years later he wasn't going to wait anymore.