So I'm back after a month. Unfortunately I'm still exhausted, so this update is something quick, and is an attempt at what I call humour. Also its all in Kenny's view, as changing views would just be to complicated...I'll start writing up the next chapter as soon as! Thank you again! :)
I want an honest relationship. It sounds ridiculous coming from me, but I just do. I don't want to have to lie to Butters, but I do. I can't tell him what just happened. I can't tell him Marnie kissed me. So I don't. When he eventually comes back downstairs I don't say anything. We sit on the couch and Butters leans against me while we watch T.V. Then when he's asleep I cover him with one of the blankets and retreat to the other couch with my own. I don't think I've ever been so close to two people yet felt this alone. It's also turning me into a complete emo.
I awake in the morning to sun light blinding me through the thin daisy drapes that hang in the living room. I groaned to myself and turned over to face to the back of the sofa, and find my face pressed into some thing soft and silky. Hair, blond hair; Butters. He must of squeezed in next to me during the night. The house is completely silent apart from the hum of the fridge, and gentle snores from Butters. I lie there for awhile. It's warm and cozy and it makes me feel intimate because I'm snuggling up to my little boyfriend. Because I'm snuggled up with some one I love. See, I don't feel this for Marnie. When I'm with her I don't have the feeling that some one is squeezing my heart, I'm not worried that any minute she could break me. I'll be there for her any time she needs me, but I don't love her.
Slowly I ease my way off the sofa and head to the sliding doors, I push them open and wince as the cold Colorado air hits me with high momentum. I then take my cigarettes off the kitchen counter and light one, puffing the air outside; the white smoke evaporating in to the air, but I'm not sure if its actual smoke or my breath. I need a break right now, because I'm not going to get one when this baby comes, I know that.
As I try to piece together a plan for returning home, Butters stirs behind me, and plods over. He has a bedhead of doom and rubs his eyes tiredly. "Gee what time is it?" he asks and I shrug. "Early." It's not that late, not if there's silence outside, trust me- South Park is always noisy after seven.
"I'll make some breakfast!" Butters declares, scuttling away into the kitchen. I flick the butt of my cigarette away and close the door, warmth shrouding my bare shoulders again. In the kitchen, Butters is wearing an apron-to make cereal.
"My mom usually does breakfast..." he mumbles shaking the box violently. Cereal scatters across the counter top and Butters sweeps it up quickly into a small pile. This might sound weird, perverted even; but Butters looks hot in an apron. I don't know weather its personally his, or belongs to Mrs. Stotch, but I like it.
"What's up Kenny?" Butters cocks his head to the side curiously. "You okay?"
"I'm thinking about how hot you look in that." I admit. "Won't you take your chastity pants off just for a moment?"
"No." Butters is adamant about this, and its nearly starting to piss me off, and I've only tried once.
"You little prude." I want him to know I respect him, so I don't push the matter further. Not yet any way. We eat breakfast, and I satisfy myself by watching Butters dress for school instead.
Walking to school I wonder how I'm going to get through the day, as several assignments are due in and honestly; I haven't done a single one. But for once, my luck actually exists, because once Butters and I arrive at school, we find it completely TP'ed.
Seeing the school covered in toilet paper was amusing yet horrifying at the same time. Amusing simply because its school, but horrifying because the principal discovered it was done by students from North Park High, our neighbouring rivals. This meant they had officially pranked us, and gotten away with it.
"I don't want any retalliation," the principal said in an assembly. "We're going to leave it at that."
"Fuck that." Cartman said to us. He gathered myself, Stan and Craig. "Tonight, we're going to get the fuckers back."
-0-
"I still don't see the point in wearing black." Craig muttered, digging in his pocket for his knife.
"Cause don't you think it would be far too obvious if the North Park principal reported, 'three teenage boys, two with puffball hats, one in an orange parka, and a blond girl in a Hello Kitty sundress'?" Stan replied, opening his own penknife.
"Fair enough, but really, what is the point of that?" Craig pointed to Butters, who was currently Marjorine. Stan said nothing before looking at me. "Yeah Kenny, what was the point?"
The point was that tonight I was supposed to go out with Butters, but since these fuckers dragged me here, I wouldn't be able to. So I brought him with me,we had camo for four; and Cartman bailed on us for fajita night, but his camo was far to big for little Butters. So his disguise became the Marjorine get up. Personally, I thought he looked hot. Hotter than the apron.
"Well the camo didn't fit." I shrugged, "So he's Marjorine."
"No, I meant why is he here." Craig frowned, finally finding his knife. Stan and I had acquired pen knifes, but for some reason, Craig is holding a fucking butchers blade, no wonder he was walking like he'd been fucked up the ass.
"Fucking hell Craig!" Stan scoffed. "If we get caught they're going to think we came here to slaughter them!"
"We could." Craig says completely serious, which worries me. It must have worried Stan too, as he glanced at me and said: 'Okay, so if we get caught we leave Butters and run, right?"
I want to say no, but I have no other answer, so I simply nod.
"Does this look right fellers?" Butters asks, having been oblivious to our conversation. He pokes his newly developed right breast, which is actually Craig's socks, the ones in the left breast are mine.
"You could have gotten a longer dress Craig." Stan says and Craig rolls his eyes, hands on hips. "Sorry, I didn't think about that when I said to my sister, 'Hey Ruby, can I borrow a dress?'"
"We have to hurry up." I frown, "Right now the North Park students are in the stadium watching their game, if we're going to slash at least half of their tires, we have to start now."
They nod separating to their areas of the car park, Craig waving his blade manically. I glance at Butters whose shivering slightly, no doubt with an uncomfy draft.
"Keep watch okay?" I say and Butters nods, turning around he skips off to the bushes just outside the stadium. I move to a row of cars near me, and get straight to work, plunging the blade deep into the rough rubber, and dragging it down as far as I could. Maybe Craig was right to bring a bigger knife, this crappy one kept getting stuck, and I nearly sliced my fingers at least thrice. After about ten minutes Craig's head loomed over the bonnet of the car I was slashing, I jumped, falling back onto my ass.
"You scared me you dick." I scowl and he flips me off.
"Are you done?" I ask and Craig nods. "Hell yeah." he says, holding up his butchers blade which gleams in the lamp lights. "I even took care of some of Stan's rows."
"Awesome." I finish the tire and stand up, dusting myself off. "That should do it, now lets get Stan and get outta here."
Craig stands on the bonnet of the car, and waves the blade in Stan's direction, making it flash under the light. I cant help but smirk, as it works, and Stan makes his way over to us.
"Never again." he says to me, pulling his glove off and showing me a slash across his left index finger.
"Are we leaving without Butters?" Craig asks jumping down and I glare at him. "No, we'll get him now."
We walk through the car park in search of Butters. To get to his hiding place we have to pass under a metal fire stairwell. As we walk under there's a loud clang, which stops us all mid walk.
"Fuck." Stan mutters as footsteps become apparent and closer.
"Screw Butters." Craig snorts, "Lets fucking bail."
"No!" I snap, before shushing them as the footsteps walk over us. We look up to see who it is through the gaps. It's a girl. Wearing a skirt. The three of us watch as she walks along, all eyes on the polka dot panties.
"Fuck yes." Craig whispers, and the girl bounds down the end steps, before turning right and disappearing from sight. We three stand for a moment, saving the pantie shot to memory.
"Fellers!" Butters staggers around the corner, the sundress ripped up the thigh. "Are you done? I got stuck in the bush, it hurt and I'm cold and I wanna' go home.."
"Hey! You there!"
Fuck. Our heads snap around to see a security guard staring at us, his eyes wide. I can understand his shock. Three guys dressed in black, one holding a massive blade, and all with massive boners, then a girl in a torn sundress looking like she's been putting up a fight.
I said it was an attempt. You travel for a month and fly for 20 hours and see what you come up with.