I have officially come to the point where if I pick up another text book my mind is going to melt. With the way things are going I won't be able to update much until after finals, which means four more weeks of exhaustion.

As a reminder, I did say this story gets dark, and that is mostly due to this chapter and the next one. Just wanted to warn you about that now.

Warnings: Character abuse, OOC for Ukitake, dubcon (AFF and LJ version only)

Please and Thank You

Chapter 4: How Can Being With You Cause Me So Much Pain?

Ukitake shook her head when she saw the dark haired man sitting on a bench. He was staring up with his eyes closed, enjoying the warmth from the sun. He wore jeans and a hot pink, short sleeved shirt. As she walked toward him she saw the straw hat he had worn to the restaurant was sitting next to him on the bench. There was also something else…no, it couldn't be.

"Why, exactly, do you have a sword?" she asked before she could stop herself, standing in front of the man.

He tilted his head forward, opening his eyes slowly, giving her a carefree smile. "A sword, huh?" He gestured for her to sit next to him, which she did slowly, the two never breaking eye contact. "No one else seems to be aware of it."

"What..?" Ukitake started, but trailed off as she looked around. There were many people walking around the campus, but no one gave the man a second glance, save for a group of girls, but they weren't interested in the sword he held in his hands.

All of the sudden she felt a weight on her knee. He had moved the sword so the hilt rested against her. She barely had time to look down before the world around her suddenly shifted. She stood on a long dock, the only thing she could see besides water. Ukitake couldn't be sure but she thought she heard children laughing.

As quickly as it had come it was gone. The man was staring at her quizzically, silently asking if she was all right. Ukitake took a deep breath, slipping her hands beneath her knees to hide how much they were trembling.

"I don't know what that was, or what you want, but I wish the four of you could just tell me instead of sneaking around."

The man looked genuinely apologetic. "Where should I start?" he finally asked.

"A name would be nice."

He turned his head so he was looking forward, but Ukitake didn't miss the sorrow that flashed in his eyes. "Shunsui Kyouraku."

Ukitake nodded, saying the name over and over again in her head. Did she know this man? Ichigo had said that he had known a woman named Ukitake. This man was friends with him. Did that mean he had known her as well?

"Am I the Ukitake you knew five years ago?" she whispered, her voice shaky.

Kyouraku took a deep breath. He brought a gentle, yet calloused, hand up to her chin, turning her head so he could look her in the eye. "I'm sure of it."

Ukitake had known what his answer would be, but that didn't stop her from taking a sharp intake of breath. She shook her head, standing up. She could feel tears threating to slip from her eyes. It was all just too confusing. Ukitake wanted to know what happened to her in the past, but this was just too sudden, too much for her to cope with.

"I'm sorry, I can't…I just can't," she whispered, turning to leave.

"Juu," Kyouraku said softly, reaching out to grab her wrist.

"Don't!" Ukitake said harshly, pulling her hand away sharply. "Don't ever call me that." Kyouraku couldn't move he was so shocked. He had only ever heard Ukitake use that voice when she faced an enemy, one who had done something despicable.

"I would appreciate it if you stayed away from me."

Kyouraku let her go. He couldn't bring himself to do anything else. No matter what stupid, idiotic thing he had done in the past, the worst he'd ever gotten was an exasperated look. Never before had she looked at him with hatred.

/

The white haired woman crashed into him suddenly, drawing a loud 'umph' from Ichigo. "Are you all right?" he asked, grabbing onto her arms to stop her from crashing onto the pavement.

Ukitake nodded mutely. "We need to find a better way to run into each other without actually running into each other." She tried to sound cheerful, but failed miserably.

"Ukitake," Ichigo said, slowly pulling away his hands when he was sure the woman had regained her footing. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Ukitake answered, flashing Ichigo a smile that the orange haired man immediately saw through.

Ichigo gave Ukitake a look that clearly said 'I-don't-believe-you-and-you're-very-bad-at-lying.' Ukitake met his gaze, but after a moment she sighed. "Ichigo, how close were you to your Ukitake?"

Ichigo blinked in shock, but Ukitake didn't see it. She kept her head bent forward so that her hair covered her face. "Not as well as I wanted to," he admitted.

"What was she like?" Ukitake's whisper was so quiet that Ichigo almost missed it.

"She's the most beautiful person I've ever known." Ukitake looked up slightly as Ichigo talked, noticing the slight smile that graced the man lips, and knew he wasn't just talking about the woman's physical beauty. "She always had time for everyone, not matter what they needed. She was so strong, but so compassionate. When she disappeared, I…" Ichigo trailed off, his unconscious smile having disappeared.

Ukitake studied him for a moment, tilting her head to the side slightly. "Ichigo," the white haired woman said gently, "are you in love with her?"

Ichigo stared at the woman. "Wha-?" He's heard what she said, but he knew the true question was, 'Are you in love with me?'

Ukitake sighed softly and shook her head. "This has to stop, Ichigo."

"Ukitake!" Ichigo called after her once his voice returned.

There was a slight pause in her step, but she continued walking.

/

"You seem unusually depressed."

Kyouraku looked over his shoulder at Urahara as the man sat down next to him on the edge of the roof. "She hates me, Kisuke. I've never seen her look at anyone like that before."

"That's Aizen's fault and you know it."

Kyouraku shook his head. "The sad thing is I can't figure out if I'm bother more by her hatred or the fact that she forgot my name."

"You already knew she did. She's forgotten everyone." Kisuke filled one of the sake cups and handed it to Kyouraku.

"I know," he said accepting the sake cup with a nod. "But still, it's different when you're actually faced with it."

Urahara drank the contents of his cup in one gulp. "We'll get her back, no matter what, Shunsui. I've let Aizen get away with way too much for way too long. He's not getting away with this."

Kyouraku sighed, staring out at the town. "I hope you're right, Kisuke."

/

Ukitake sighed as she finally admitted to herself that she'd stayed in the water long enough. She winced slightly when she looked at her pruned fingers before standing up and stepping out of the tub. She used a towel to dry her hair before wrapping another around her body, walking into her bedroom.

"If I had known you planned on taking a bath I would have been home sooner."

Ukitake smiled softly as Aizen set his glasses on the nightstand. He began to unbutton his shirt as Ukitake moved to place a kiss on his cheek, but Aizen turned his head so that his lips brushed against her's.

"I missed you today."

"Really?" Aizen asked, his cold smile sending shivers down her spine. "I have a hard time believing that, Juu."

Ukitake took a step away from him, her whole body trembling. Aizen only called her that when she was in serious trouble. "Sosuke, what did I do?"

Aizen stepped forward even as Ukitake continued to back up, bumping into the dresser. "You've been hanging out with that orange haired boy lately, not to mention that man who goes around wearing that straw hat all the time."

"Sosuke…" Ukitake whimpered as he turned her around, crushing her body between him and the hard wood. "Sosuke, you're hurting me."

The man just ignored her, forcing her to place her hands on the top of the dresser. "You, better than anyone, know I don't like others touching what is mine."

"Sosuke, please, Sosuke, don't," Ukitake pleaded as Aizen removed the towel covering her body.

"Now, now, Juu, you know you have to be punished for what you've done."

"I'm sorry, Sosuke. Please stop."

"Enough," Aizen said indifferently as he slammed her hips forward into the dresser.

/

There's more to this chapter, but it will only be posted of AFF and LJ. However, this is all I have time for tonight, but the rest of the chapter will be up sometime tomorrow. I hope I didn't lose a lot of you because of this chapter. The worst of it will be over at the end of the next chapter, promise. There's no way I can write much more of that.