After considerable paperwork, funeral arrangements were made. Not even an hour after Mike's death, Jason had appeared and insisted that Mike's body was government property; they'd have to host the funeral without it. His will had been found under a box of staples in the broom closet of Shortpacked!, labeled "Remove in case of Mike's death". (Everyone had thought it was a joke until then.) The will was simple, promising Amber the contents of the hidden liquor cabinet and leaving a few instructions as to how the funeral was to be carried out. The only refreshments which would be supplied were strawberry-flavored marshmallows. Faz was to be denied admission, unless he agreed to eat twelve marshmallows in one bite. Mike also enclosed his own eulogy, but since it only consisted of two sentences ("Why are you all standing here? It's not like he cares."), Robin was forced to rewrite it.

"If you're at this guy's funeral, then you probably know at least something about Mike, even if you don't know everything..."

It was horribly hot outside, and everyone was sweating in their heavy clothes. It felt almost like Mike's last insult, the proverbial middle-finger from beyond the grave. Not only am I going to die, but I'm also going to make you sit outside for an hour or two in completely black clothing. Hope you ****ing enjoy the marshmallows.

"One think you can say about him was that he was honest. He never lied to make you feel good, and he didn't usually need to lie to make you feel bad."

Amber scrunched at her dress, unable to look at the casket. She'd seen Mike go up against horrible odds before, and it still wasn't sinking in that he was actually dead.

"He may not have been the nicest person in the world- hell, he'd prob'ly be the first to say that he's the worst. If he was alive, y'know." Robin frowned. "No, wait, crap, that came out wrong."

Amber could almost hear Ethan smacking himself in the forehead a row back. "Robin..."

"Do-over? At least we're not on television."

"Robin, are you making this up as you go?"

"Lemme just look under this podium thingy, I swear I put those notes somewhere!"

Needless to say, it was a fiasco. Ambulances showed up half an hour through to cart off Faz, Robin had to get most of the audience to help her look for her notes, and somebody knocked over the coffin, prompting questions as to why Mike wasn't attending his own funeral.

After most of the guests were gone, Amber was left standing between the folding chairs and helping Ethan and Robin clean. Or, more accurately, following Robin around while Ethan cleaned.

"It's just... How can you be like this?"

"I'm always like this!"

"Mike just died, and you practically looked like you were laughing at that podium."

Robin grinned enigmatically. "Let's just say I ain't got much to be sad about."

Amber sobbed, running to her car. "Robin, you're horrible!"

Robin sprinted to the passenger side, hopping in the car as it was driving away. "Aww, Amber, don't be like that!"

"Hey! Get back here! Who's going to help me pick up all these chairs?"

"The great Faz will do so in return for information as to his beloved Amber."

"Aren't you busy choking on something?"