A/N: Is this the first chapter without Millie in it? Oh Christ, I think it might be! No wait...no it isn't. Still, I need my Millie fix, so during this chapter, she's sitting at home reading a Ruth Rendell. Quite a sadish kind of chapter coming up. Doubt it'll have you in tears mind...anywayyyyy, tell me how awful I am via reviews! XD

"B-but…Billy was just with me…it was two hours ago….he's not, he can't be."

"Is this his driving licence Mrs Jacobs? We found in in the deceased's possessions." the shaking woman peered at it before letting out a strangled shriek and bursting into tears. Ray turned to Gene with a grimace, placing a hand on the woman' shoulder, "Come on, love, down the station. I'm afraid we're going to need you to identify the-" but he was cut off by another loud shriek from Mrs Jacobs.

"B-B-Billy!" she sobbed, "m-my baby! My little boy!" she wailed, "Have you caught the bastard that did it? Who murdered him?"

"Er…" said Ray, but Gene cut him off. The older man's voice was strangely harsh since he was at the house of the recently bereaved.

"It was an accident. Total accident."

"B-but they-" she began, but Gene interrupted her, his tone short,

"An accident, Mrs Jacobs."

Shaz sat in the bath, staring at the tiles. She had not felt clean all day, her skin bright red from where she had scrubbed herself repeatedly.

"Shazzer? You alright Shazzer?" Chris had returned. Shaz did not answer him; she had failed him. He was going to be a daddy, and she had taken that away from him. Bile rose suddenly in her throat, and she was forced to scramble out of the bath and place her head over the toilet. She was sick again and again, "Shazzer?" Chris had entered the bathroom. "s'alright love," he said, falling to his knees beside her, rubbing her back and scraping her hair off her face, "It's ok darling."

Shaz stayed hovering above the toilet bowel after she had recovered herself, sobbing uncontrollably, "Come on love." Chris helped her back into a sitting position, flushed the toilet and began to run the sink. Shaz simply cried as he wiped her face lovingly with a flannel. He was being too kind to her. He didn't know what she'd done.

"Let's get you to bed, eh?" Shaz let herself be led dumbly to their bed. She let herself be tucked in without protest, and only closed her eyes when he kissed her gently on the cheek. "Get better darling. Love you."

Shaz stared at the ceiling as he departed, biting back the sobs she longed to give. He had looked after her without question, without pausing to think. He loved her. Sweet, loving Chris was besotted with her…he didn't know what she'd done. She'd taken so much from him. She thought momentarily of a faceless, sexless child running towards her husband, arms outstretched and beaming.

"Daddy! Daddy's home!"

She wept silently into the pillow once more.

Alex lay in a huddled heap on the floor of the flat. Alex Drake had killed a man. She had snuffed out an innocent life mere hours ago. She raised a hand to wipe her nose, sniffling. Those hands had been on the steering wheel. Those hands hadn't swerved far enough. Her feet, resting on the floor, had not pressed the brake fast enough. They had remained on the accelerator.

"Bolls?" Gene entered the room. Seeing her pitiful form in the corner of the room, he instantly made a beeline for her. "Come on now love." he placed a comforting hand upon her, pulling her gently into his arms. "You know as well as I do that it was an accident."

"I-I should have seen him…I wasn't paying attention…I can't have been."

"Shh-sh," he soothed, "don't talk like that. Come on darling, you need to eat. Egg and chips do you?"

"I'd prefer sushi." said Alex, a glimmer of her old self behind the playful words.

"What?" he said, "I'm not cooking anything weird. Who d'you think I am, Fanny bleeding Cradock?" "Egg and Chips it is then." she gave a weak grin.

"Right." said Gene, two days later, "No way am I going to let Bolls get any sort of punishment for this. Stupid bugger clearly didn't watch where he was going, but the powers that be seem to think it necessary to punish every Tom, Dick or Harry within three miles of an accident. No way am I going to let them take her down…she's stood by me whenever I've needed her, and I'll be damned if I'm going to let her down. So from now on, every moment in this office is going to be spent in proving that she was in no way responsible. Comprende?"

The usual murmurs of 'Guv' and 'Yes sir' came as usual, but, as Gene noticed, not from one member of the team.

"Granger?" Shaz was sat at her desk, staring blankly at the polished wood surface, she made no indication that she had heard anything her DCI had said, "Granger?" he said, though slightly louder now. She looked up slowly, her eyes not quite meeting his, "I said: do you understand?" she gave an unconcerned nod and continued her contemplation of the desk. Gene felt a stab of annoyance.

"Oi, Granger!" Shaz looked up vaguely once more. "I'm a bit bloody sick of this. One day you're pulling a sickie, and the next you come in with a proper face on you. In case you haven't noticed, DI Drake might end up getting charged with causing death by dangerous driving! I'd appreciate it if you showed a little bit more care! She's supposed to be your pissing friend."

Shaz felt suddenly, very hot. All the anger, all the grief she had welled up inside of her was now coming to a violent and ugly head. It bubbled inside her for a moment before bursting its banks and spilling from her uncontrollably. Shaz exploded.

"FUCK YOU!" Gene almost choked on his whiskey, shock which changed, almost imperceptively into anger.

"What did you just say to me?" His tone was dangerous, but she could not care.

"You heard me! You heard what I said to you," tears had begun to form in her eyes, "You dare to talk to me about friendship? Not one of you," she gestured around at Ray, Gene and at Alex's empty desk, "have even stopped to ask me what's wrong! You couldn't give a shit! You expect me in work straight away, and you don't even know why I was ill, you don't even care!"

"What should I care if it's your time of the month?" retorted Gene, teeth bared.

"MY TIME OF THE MONTH! TIME OF THE MONTH!" she screeched, "YOU STUPID, STUPID MAN! If you knew…If you knew…" and with that, she tore from the office, tears streaming down her red face as she ran.

She took the stairs two at a time, falling painfully half way up the forth flight, but she did not care. Coming out finally onto the roof, she walked slowly and deliberately for the edge, her heart pumping a violent tattoo in her ears. She had come to a decision, she had to end it…an eye for an eye. She had killed her baby; she would have to face the consequences.

She had to die.