(A/N: Thanks for all the supportie reviews! I'm very happy to know that there are other people who are tired of cliche "Story of Evil" retellings! On a less happy note, beware that this chapter will contain fake Gakupo and fake Engloid bashing. In reality, Gakupo is one of my favourite vocaloids, and I have no problems with the Engloids, since they sing in my language, after all.)
(A/N: THNX 4 ALL TEH REVIEWS! I WOULD'VE DIED IF U DIDN'T REVIEW THIS FICCIE! Also, Len (333333) gets to do da Gakupoop warning!)
Len: The what?
Author: Da Gakupoop warning, where you warn vocaloid fans dat Gakupoop will have a cameo in dis chappie.
Len: Right. Anyways, dear readers, be warned that Gakupoop will have a cameo in this chapter. Even though he is incredibly loathsome, the author is incredibly talented at portraying him as wonderfully as an angel sent from heaven. If you are faint at heart and cannot stand to see the name "Gakupoop" mentioned again, please click the back button immediately and find another fic to read. Also, note that prolonged exposure to Gakupoop can cause nausea, vomiting, heart attack and stroke. If any of these things actually happen to you, you can't say that I, Len Kagamine, or the author, did not warn you. So if anything happens! Please don't sue us! The author is already dealing with lawsuits from...
Author: ... heh heh (sweatdrops) Now for da story!
Ice Cream of Evulz
Chapter 2: Servant of Ice Cream
He contemplated what to do, but by the time he finally decided that he was going to shout "Look! A distraction!" at Kaito, then grab the ice cream and chuck it into the garbage can, Kaito had already finished it .
"I have failed my Queen!" Len cried, and a single, crystalline tear rolled down his cheeks that were smoother than a baby's bottom (A/N: POOR LEN! DON'T WORRY! I STILL LUV U!)
Len bounced back to the palace on his pogo stick, and lied to Queen Rin. He told her that he had assasinated (A/N: I'm really smrt so I use big words) the ice cream cone. After all, she wouldn't notice the difference, right?
Of course, Queen Rin realized that there were still ice cream parlours, all around the country, where Kaito could find more of his beloved ice cream. So, she was going to lead her army on a giant crusade to destroy all the ice cream parlours of the land. To justify her actions, Queen Rin made sure that her publicist told everyone that she was taking these measures to stop the obesity epidemic. (A/N: RIN IS SOOOOOO SMART!)
Queen Rin was going to march through the lands on beautiful white stallion, Josephine. She asked her random boring, ugly, stupid, despicable, old, wrinkly, butler (A/N: WHO IS NOT LEN BECUZ LEN IS TTLY HAWT AND AWESUM AND NOT OLD AND SMRT AND WONDERFUL IN EVRY WAY!) where to get the unimportant dude who works in the stables to bring out Josephine.
"Josephine isn't in the stables for some reason..." said The Unimportant Stable Dude.
"IT'S YOUR FAULT THEN!" yelled Queen Rin, "OFF TO THE DUNGEON YOU GO!"
Some knights popped out of nowhere and dragged The Unimportant Stable Dude to the DUNGEON (A/N: Dun dun DUHHHHHH!)
Meanwhile, Josephine politely tapped on the door of a large palace that was not quite as big as Queen Rin's. A handsome man (A/N: It is hard 2 bring myself to describe da hideous being known as "Gakupoop" as being handsome) with long purple hair opened the door (A/N: He probably looks like a girl, right?) .
"Oh dear," the man said, "Please don't tell me even females animals are now attracted to my irresistable charm." (A/N: I'M NOT THOUGH, GAKUPOOP! MY HEART BELONGS TO LEN!)
Back at her castle, Queen Rin had come to a solution.
"I guess'll I have to use my roadroller, then," she said with an oddly evil form of glee. (A/N: I LUV WATCHING GLEE!)
"What am I supposed to do now, my Queen?" asked Len. (A/N: I WANT LEN 2 CALL ME THAT!)
Queen Rin pulled a beautilicious, frilly, saffron, gold dress that was edged with lace and lined with the shiniest diamonds (A/N: I would look beautilicious in a dress like that!) out of thin air (A/N: Rin is soooo awesum that she is now a wizard!).
"Len, wear this," Queen Rin commanded, "You are the only person in the whole castle that looks enough like me to pretend to be me while I'm gone."
Len thought that her command did not make any sense, because everyone in the kingdom... I mean, queendom, knew that she was going on her Ice Cream Parlour-destroying spree today. And even if Queen Rin needed to be present at the castle, she could have made a double of herself, since she was a wizard, after all.
But he didn't tell her that because he did not want to have his head chopped off, or be run over by her road roller, or be locked in a room and forced to listen Engloid songs for all eternity. (A/N: Dem Engloids suk! Miley Cyrus is waaaay kewla!)
Len also knew that the Queen was very beautiful, so he said:
"Thanks for telling me I am almost as beautiful, elegant, and graceful as you are." (A/N: Len is all that and more!)
"But you're a guy," replied Queen Rin, so that might be a bad thing." (A/N: NO IT ISN'T! BISHONENESS IS PWNAGE!)
So, Queen Rin went outside, jumped on to her road roller, and headed off to decimate all the Ice Cream Parlours of the land.
Len put on the dress (A/N: Len would be sooooo beautilicious in that dress!) and sat on Queen Rin's throne.
He sat there for 3 hours, 51 minutes, and 17 seconds. (A/N: Len is sooooo smart that he can calculate dat kinda stuf in his head!)
Suddenly, an angry mob of people led by a woman with short burgundy tresses in bright scarlet armour (A/N: The woman is Meiko) crashed through the door.
"WE'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU, QUEEN RIN!" screamed Meiko, "YOU'RE COMING WITH US!"
Len put his hands up and shouted "Don't shoot!", but Meiko and the angry mob, who did not have any guns, grabbed Len, put handcuffs on him, and dragged him out the door.
(A/N: TIME SKIP)
Rin came back to the palace, only to not find Len there.
"You must leave quickly, your majesty," said the old, ugly butler, "Your decoy has been taken away by revolutionaries."
Rin ran out of the palace, hopped on to her road roller, and rode to the town where "Prince" Kaito lived, so she could be reunited with her beloved prince and find safety. (A/N: She did not thank the butler becuz he does not deserve to be thanked anyways)
END OF CHAPTER TWO
(A/N: PLEEZ REVIEW OR ELSE I WILL DIE!)
(A/N: The Josephine meeting Gakupo joke was a shout out to something. I want to see if you can guess what it is. Also, I know that "stallion" is a term used to describe male horses, and I described Josephine as a stallion to make fun of how some fanfic authors forget to do the research. )