(A/N: Not much to say, except thanks to Violette-K for her suggestions regarding the fake author's "I won't continu dis ficcie" thing, and Kaito's appearance.)
(A/N: Tiem for me and my Lenny-poo to have a chat~!)
Author: I won't continu dis ficcie unless I get 987654321 good rayviewz!
Len: But isn't this is the last chapter?
Author: I'M DA AUTHOR LENNY-TAN! I KNOW EVRYTING! AND I KNOW HOW U FEEL ABOUT ME!
Len: I think you're annoying, and a terrible writer.
Author: I THOUGHT DAT U LUVED ME! *runs off to cry in corner*
Len: Now let the story begin.
Ice Cream of Evulz
Chapter 3: Daughter of Vanilla
So, Queen Rin drove off to the village where her beloved "Prince" Kaito lived. Although she did stop at a gas station along the way to refuel her road roller (A/N: Roadrollas PWN!),and change out of her uber-ostentatious(A/N: Me so smarticle dat I use big wordz!) canary yellow-gown made of Chines silk that was embroidered with thread made of platinum, into a much more understated jogging suit (A/N: A kawaii jogging suit, mind you). Okay, and she stopped to stay overnight at a Super 8 Motel along the way.
Anyways, Queen Rin managed to arrive in the town the next morning. She went to the town square, which had dimensions of 127 metres by 127 metres, or 16,129 metres squared (A/N: Me so smart cuz instead of doing math in my head I use calculator),and saw her beloved "Prince" standing there. Without an ice cream cone.
The sun shone perfectly on his glaucous-coloured hair, which blew perfectly in the gentle breeze. His cerulean eyes glittered beautifully. Rin ran up to him, overjoyed. Her Aureolin strands of hair blew away from her face as she ran towards her beloved. She looked at him with her large, Palatinate Blue eyes sparkled as she looked up at his smooth, cosmic latte skin. (A/N: I know soooooo many colorz!)
"I have something to tell you... " Queen Rin started saying, with a coquelicot blush spreading across her Isabelline cheeks , but Kaito cut in,
"Do you want some sponge cake?"
"Pardon me?"
"Well," Kaito said, "since that evil Queen destroyed all of my beloved ice cream parlours, my favourite food is now sponge cake!"
"Errrm... no thanks," Queen Rin replied politely. She convienently had not heard the part about the "evil Queen" (A/N: The Evil Queen iz Rin in case ya didn't know)
"Yay!" exclaimed Kaito, "More for me!"
He gluttonously, but nevertheless handsomely (A/N: Becuz everything Kaito does is handsome!) shoved the sponge down his beautiful gullet.
Queen Rin, who was enamoured by such spectacle, was also overcome with sadness because Kaito was now with his new love.
She ran away, tears streaming down her Isabelline cheeks.
To overcome her sadness, she ran to a bakery so that way she could eat a lot of sweets to make herself feel better. (A/N: Obviouzly Rin would not become fat becuz she has a high metabolizm!)
At the bakery, she walked dejectedly up to the counter and asked for a piece of Brioche.
The woman who worked there had long ivory-coloured hair, pale alabaster skin, and carmine eyes. She was also wearing a name tag that said "Haku Yowane." (A/N: Haku is soooooo much more of an official loid than da engloidz and evryone who izn't made by Crypton!)
Anyways, Haku , who was reading a magazine and had no real interest in her customer, said "Would you like a piece of spongecake? It's half price."
"No thanks," Queen Rin answered, "It reminds me of a lost love! Waaaaaa!"
Tears started to run down her cheeks, which were already tear-stained.
Haku became a bit disturbed her customer's crying, asked her about her "lost love".
"Well," Queen Rin managed to get out between sobs, "He was incredibly beautiful and gorgeous and wonderful in every way. But he never really loved me, and instead he loved his ice cream more than anything or anyone else. And after I... I mean The Queen... destroyed all the ice cream parlours of the land, he just switched his love to being sponge cake."
"Oh," Haku asked, "Are you talking about Kaito?"
"Yes," Queen Rin mumbled.
Haku started laughing.
"Kaito? He's a dumb fat guy who used to be a regular at the Dairy Queen where I worked. Until it got run over by the Queen's Road Roller, course. Well, luckily the Queen was overthrown a while ago, but that won't replace any ice cream parlours."
"Kaito isn't fat!" screamed Queen Rin, who ignored everything Haku said after the thing about Kaito being fat, "He has perfectly chiselled abs!" (A/N: I agree with Rin!)
Haku looked up from her magazine and continued to argue with Queen Rin.
" 'Perfectly chiselled abs'? The guy has man b... Hey! You're that Ev..I mean... Queen Rin!"
"Darn!" yelled Queen Rin, "I mean... yes, I do look like the Queen."
"Just spit it out," said Haku, "You're Queen Rin, and the person who is about to be beheaded is actually your servant, Len, in a dress."
"How do you know?" asked Queen Rin, who face-faulted in shock.
"Well, I watch a lot of Vocaloid videos," Haku replied, (A/N: So do I~!)
"The scenario in this country seems to be quite a lot like this series called the Story of Evil, except for the fact that in the song, Kaito isn't fat. And he's in love with this beautiful viridian-haired girl called "Miku", who lives in the 'Land of Green"..."
"Don't you mean 'Greenland'?" Queen Rin asked.
"No," responded Haku seriously, "Anyways, he loves Miku instead of loving his ice cream cone. But..."
(Haku explains the whole Story of Evil, which you should already know)
... and that's how I know the truth about you." (A/N: OMGEEZ HAKU IS SUCH A STALKA! BUT SHE'S A VOCALOID FAN SO SHE IZ KEWL!)
"I see." muttered Queen Rin.
"You know," Haku said, picking up the phone behind the counter, "I should report you to the relevant authorities, so they can behead you instead of Len."
"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Queen Rin shouted melodramatically, "I'm still young! I can change and become a better person! I don't want to die now! I'm only fourteen! I haven't gotten my first kiss! Or graduated high school and went to Harvard Law School! And I haven't lost my..."
"Okay, okay. I won't report you the relevant authorities, but only if you promise to be a better person."
Queen Rin sighed, "Alright," she put her hand over her heard, "I solemnly swear to be a better person."
"Good," Haku smiled, "You know, you can still rescue Len. They aren't going to behead him until three o'clock. You might be able to get back to the Country's capital on time to save him."
Queen Rin sat and thought about that for a moment.
"I'll do it!" she exclaimed, "I! WILL! SAVE! LEN!"
Queen Rin eagerly ran out the door ... but then ran back in. She pulled some money out of her pocket and handed it to Haku.
"One slice of brioche, please!"
"Oh, right." Haku said, then handed Queen Rin her slice of brioche.
Queen Rin hopped into her roadroller and quickly drove to the capital city of whatever country she (technically) ruled over.
The drove to the town square (which was 129 metres by 129 metres, or 16641 metres squared) (A/N: ME USE CALCULATOR AGAIN!),where she saw Len being pushed up to the guillotene (A/N: DUN DUN DUN DUHHHHH! NO! LEN DON'T LEAVE ME!).
She drove her roadroller almost right over the crowd, then stood up on top of it and said:
"Let Len go, because I promise to change and be a better person. I'll try to control my own goverment, and not be controlled by those bossy old guys (A/N: who are not Vocaloids) who just wanted to oppress the people of our country, and who used me as a puppet ruler! I will try to make a difference, and even thought it may be a long and difficult road to improved conditions, I'll try my hardest during my reign as Queen!
Len's gorgeous sky blue eyes sparkled happily as his captors let him free.
Queen Rin started chanting, "Can we do it? YES WE CAN!"
All the people who were there to view Len's beheading started to sing
"Bob the..."
And everyone lived happily ever after. (A/N: And Lenny-poo married me!)
THE END
Author: Oh Lenny-tan! We're going to get married!
Len: No way! *runs off*
Author: I'M GONNA GET CHA GET CHA GET CHA! *chases after him*
(A/N: So, this is the end. Or maybe not, because I might write a little omake chapter about Kaito. But in case I don't, remember I only said 'might'. All the funky colour names I mentioned are actual colours, according to Wikipedia. Interesting Fact: The official colour of the universe is "cosmic latte". Lastly, the "Bob the Builder" theme song does not belong to me, but to some person I don't really care about.)