"I swear gettin' him in the car this morning was like…you know, I can't even put it into words. It was a fiasco. I swear, it looks like he packed for a week when clearly this 'debriefing' is just an…Reno! Watch the road!" Rude yelled at him.
"The GPS told me to turn right!" Reno said.
"Yeah, in 500 feet dumbass. Now, look its recalculating. Anyway, sorry…Reno obviously can't drive. Are you there yet?" Rude asked Elena.
"Rude! I'm supposed to have a family emergency remember?" Elena told him.
"Oh don't worry. Tseng has been on his phone the ENTIRE trip, and he's typing a hundred miles a minute on his laptop. I can't wait until the battery dies on that thing because he's going to start bitching about how he can't find his car adapter…well I took the car adapter. Seriously, you should see this Elena. He has papers falling out of a briefcase all over the back seat and thirty ounces of coffee four inches from him. I'm not even sure he knows it's his birthday. I think I'm going to have to send him an e-mail to remind him." Rude explained. "So back to my question…are you there?"
"I just got parked. I'm taking my seatbelt off as we speak." Elena said.
"Good, we're about twenty-five minutes behind you…that is if Reno would listen to what the GPS is telling him to do!" Rude said irritated at Reno's driving abilities.
"I'm going to unpack and then head down to the boat to get things ready. The timing will be about right." Elena said laying her keys in the seat of her car and putting her purse on her shoulder.
"Great. Can you hear that? Can you hear Tseng bitchin' away at someone back at work? It's a Saturday Elena…a Saturday. Why the hell does he actually think we're being debriefed on a Saturday? Here…I'm going to hold the phone up and let you listen to this." Rude said holding his phone up toward the back seat. Elena laughed as she piled her arms full. "You hear that? It's a one hour, fifteen minute trip to Healen…that has been going on for one hour, ten minutes. How can he possibly have any battery left in that damn phone?" Rude deduced.
"You know the boss, he probably had that thing charged for the trip." Elena said clumsily putting several covered dishes down in front of the door so she could search her purse for the key to the lodge.
"I hope you have something in mind to calm the boss down." Rude said.
"Huh? What? Why…why…why me? Why would I…have something to calm Tseng down? What makes you think I have a way of possibly…" Rude cut a fast talking Elena off as she shoved on the door repeatedly.
"I think we just missed the turn. I'm never letting Reno drive again. Do we have to drive to the dock or is it in walking distance of the lodge?" Rude asked.
"It's in walking distance, but it's a pretty good hike. I'm going to walk so I don't have to take my car to the docks but you can do whatever you want." Elena said.
"Okay, we'll figure it out when we get there. Can you hear Tseng bitching about the fact that his phone's battery just went dead?" Rude asked. Elena laughed again as she propped the door to the lodge open and began carrying things inside.
"Yes, I hear him." Elena said.
"Alright, I'll call you again when we get there." Rude said trying to make it sounds very business-like.
"Can you believe that! Can you seriously believe that my phone's battery just died! I was in the middle of an important call right there! It was fully charged this morning before we left. How can it possibly be out?" Tseng questioned to neither Reno nor Rude in particular.
"Well, Tseng…you've had that thing on your ear this entire trip to Healen so I'm just guessing that you've talked the life out of it." Rude said. Tseng sighed and shoved his now useless technology on the inside pocket of his jacket. At least he could still obsess over his laptop for the short remainder of the trip.
"Yo, boss? I'm getting' ready to tell you somethin' and I want you to know I mean it in the least possible gay way." Reno said as he made the now correct turn to Healen Lodge.
"Okay. Do you think there will finally be a printer at the lodge?" Tseng answered him only half paying attention since he was focused on typing up a rough draft of a letter on Shinra letter-head template.
"You smell really nice and I don't know about the printer." Reno said.
"He's right boss, you smell like…really nice fabric softener. And we mean that completely non-gay." Rude said backing Reno up.
"Uh-huh." Tseng said obviously completely engrossed in his laptop and not truly hearing what Reno and Rude were telling him. Rude's phone rang .
"Yeah." He answered it.
"Rude! There are twelve sailboats docked down here! Which one is Rufus's?" Elena asked wandering around on the dock that jutted out into the beautiful and vastly large lake nestled behind Healen.
"Oh…ummm. It's…uhhh…the…you know…the one. I don't know for sure. I thought there was only one there!" Rude said as quietly as he could.
"Damn it Rude! Okay, well there has to be a directory around here somewhere. I'll find it. You get all unloaded and head this way." Elena said hanging up her phone less than thrilled with Rude for having no clue which one of these boats were Rufus Shinra's. Shortly thereafter Reno pulled in to Healen Lodge.
"Hey Tseng, you know how we uh…we said we were here because of a debriefing?" Reno asked him.
"Yes, just give me a minute to gather up these papers and…" Reno cut him off.
"You don't need your papers, boss." Reno said still not getting out of the car.
"Do you think the wireless signal will be stronger this time? Should I take…" Rude cut him off this time.
"Boss, boss, boss…we uh…we have something to tell you." Rude said.
"Okay, I'm listening I just need to put these papers in files and…" Reno cut him off again.
"Tseng! Stop, man just…just stop for three seconds…" Reno said.
"Okay?" Tseng answered him putting his papers down.
"Tseng…happy birthday." Rude said.
"Yeah, boss in case you forgot you're thirty-six today and we kinda' lied to you about the debriefing. We aren't here for a debriefing or anything else work related. We're here to party." Reno said.
"What?" Tseng asked a confused and serious tone.
"Put all your crap away and shut that damn laptop down. We're going to unpack and go change clothes because we're going sailing on Lake Meid. Reno, Elena and me have been putting this together all week. We're staying here at Healen overnight." Rude explained. There was silence in the car.
"You're bullshitting me, right?" Tseng finally asked still not completely convinced.
"No, man. We aren't. This weekend is your party." Reno said. Tseng finally laughed at them.
"Oh my god, I hate you both." He said.
"Excellent! That's exactly the reaction we wanted!" Rude said. "Come on, let's get unpacked. We need to change and get to the boat because Elena is waiting on us." Rude said finally getting out of the car. Reno had pulled in behind Elena so they would have plenty of room to unload everything. Rude's phone rang again as he headed up the stairs to unlock the lodge door. "Yeah. We just got out of the car and Tseng was totally surprised. Oh yeah, he's half pissed at us and half surprised that we were actually able to keep it from him for a week." He answered her.
"Great! Well, I found the boat. It's the 7th one on the right side of the dock. It has blue sails and it's the Lenora Leigh. We're ready to sail." Elena explained.
"Okay, we'll be there soon." Rude said hanging up his phone. "That was Elena, she has the boat ready."
"She has the boat ready?" Tseng questioned now that he had his hands full of stuff he had packed with intentions of working all weekend.
"Yeah, like we said…we're goin' sailing and apparently…Elena knows how to sail." Reno said.
"Are you serious? She knows how to operate a sailboat? That's…impressive." Tseng said dropping everything on the couch inside the combined kitchen and living room area of the lodge. He seemed rather charmed by this. He had no idea she had that talent.
"She also made some of that crap you like…you know that weird shit that looks like it should be good but it turns out to be tomatoes? I'm tellin' ya man…we went all out for this." Reno said changing into the first shirt he could find in his overnight bag.
"You mean bruschetta? She made bruschetta?" Tseng asked pleasantly surprised.
"Yes! That's the stupid crap she made! Me and Rude wanted to take you to a bar downtown that has the best prices on pitchers anywhere but Elena said that was stupid and that you don't even drink beer and...you know what…not important…we gotta get to the docks. " Reno said snapping his fingers and pointing at his superior.
"Yeah, it's obvious that she listens when you talk…and me and Reno…whoa…there is some good looking food in this fridge." Rude said opening the refrigerator door to fill it with the Sauvignon and Pinot Noir that Reno had picked up the day before.
"Yo, which room you want, Tseng?" Reno asked.
"It doesn't matter, any of them are fine." Tseng said un-tucking his shirt and pulling his tie off. He slung it around his neck and picked up two of his bags.
"It's your birthday, although it looks like Elena took the room with the couch that pulls out into a bed. She has her fancy car keys on the table in there and her fancy designer suitcase in there. Damn…that room kicks ass…I swear that room is a freakin' aphrodisiac and I have no clue why I think that." Reno said. "Come here, you can see part of the lake from back here." Reno said standing near the long window of this cozy room that Elena had claimed.
"Hey! Come on you two! Elena wants to get that boat in open water by noon! You can put your stuff away later, just get changed!" Rude called from the front door.
"I'll just get changed quickly. I'll pick a room when we get back." Tseng said throwing his suitcase on the couch and unzipping it to quickly sort through his stuff.
"You change, I'll get your laptop from the car." Reno said. A few minutes later the three of them were finally back in the car and driving toward the docks. Rude decided they would save time if they drove to the docks instead of walking the ten minutes it would take otherwise. Rude insisted on driving this time.
"You know how I despise the unpredictable." Tseng said. "I must say though, you did good on this one." Reno laughed.
"Damn right we did!"
"And I can't believe Elena knows how to sail. My god, that's…that's so...well, people don't just…up and know how to sail. We were just talking about sailing last week and she didn't mention it. I told her about how much I'd love to go sailing someday." Tseng said.
"Sounds like she knows ya' pretty well, boss. I mean hell; she had to tell me how to spell that shit you drink." Reno said.
"You mean…Sauvignon? Elena told you that I drink Sauvignon? She…she remembered that? And you have that…here?" Tseng questioned.
"Well, yeah. I felt like an idiot buying that shit." Reno said. "Yeah, to tell you the truth I couldn't remember what the hell it was you drank but she told me.
"Yeah, and remember…we would have proposed the bar idea?" Rude said.
"You're right….such a miserable idea…." Tseng said.
Meanwhile, on the boat Elena headed down to the cabin to check things out and to make sure there wasn't any surprises such as a low fuel light. Sure it was a sailboat, but it still required an 85 horsepower motor to get it out of the idle zone and in to open water. Not to mention it was a great safety backup in the event the winds changed. She checked the controls, checked the fuel and checked to ensure there was nothing that would go flying across the cabin during their trip.
"Elena!" she heard a voice call to her from the docks. She rushed to the upper deck from below and smiled.
"Hey! It's about time you made it!" she yelled at Reno smiling all over.
"Rude blames me…I blame Tseng…anyway…damn this is a nice boat." Reno said stepping over the rails and onto the boat. "Wow…"
"What?" Elena asked him tightening one of the ropes.
"You uh…you look…hot…I mean…not that you normally don't... I'm just used to seein' you in a suit and tie but uh…damn girl." Reno said.
"Elena blushed as she continued tugging on one of the ropes to get the sail completely unfolded.
"Thanks." She answered him. Elena did look beautiful in her white eyelet halter dress. "Just have a seat for now, don't worry I have jobs for you all later."
"Elena!" Tseng said to her. She let go of the rope and spun around.
"Tseng…happy birthday oh and uh….surprise! We're going sailing!" she said rather nervously. God, he looked good, at least…in her eyes he did. He made her weak in the knees and she almost forgot what she was doing. She wasn't going to lie to herself, she wanted him…bad.
My apologies for any typos, please let me know if you see any. I proofed this quickly.