I don't own anything Twilight. Everything belongs to Stephenie Meyers. No copyright infringement intended. I'm just playing around with her creation.

Previously: Bee has been with Tanya and Co. for 5 months now. They go into town for shopping. Bee sees a silver car and has a conniption fit. Learn of Bee's traumatic change. Tanya finally reaches Carlisle, Cullens on their way to Alaska.

Chapter 6: I Don't Want You

Edward's Point of View

What have I done? I left her so she could resume a normal human life, free of danger, blood and fear. I basically killed myself so she could be safe. Where had I gone wrong?

I was completely and utterly astounded that Bella had been in our meadow. I never thought that she would go looking for it. If she wanted to celebrate my birthday why didn't she just go to the house? Why did I even ask myself that, I knew why. That place was special to me and her alone, no one else shared in it's magic.

Nine months. Nine damn months and she was still dedicated to me. Despite what I had done or said she was still loyal and from what Charlie had said, still very much in love with a monster. I saw through Alice's memories the distraught look on the poor police chief's face as he described his daughter, the daughter I had killed with only four words.

I don't want you.

I should have known to be careful with my words. Bella had constantly voiced how she couldn't understand why I wanted to be with her. She called herself plain and boring while I was the dark, mysterious hunk. Time and time again I had corrected her, telling her she was wrong, that she was far from boring and that she was beyond beautiful. She would just laugh and change the subject.

I saw that she believed me the second I said those lying words, the look in her eyes ripped my heart in two. I wanted so badly to wrap her in my arms and apologize profusely for lying, but my desire to keep her safe won out in the end.

We had spent the last five months searching for her, for a hint to her whereabouts, for any indications that she was even alive.

First, Alice visited Charlie to see if he had learned anything new about Bella, nothing. We then went to the meadow. Bella's scent was very weak by now and the wolf smell was nearly drowning it out. We searched all over Washington and into Oregon and BC, nothing. We did pick up the scent of wolves again near an old worn down boathouse and the odor of three vampires, two I remembered as being Laurent and Victoria but the third was unknown to me.

I sat in silence looking out the window of the Mercedes as we sped toward Alaska. Apparently Tanya was having some difficulties with a newborn. Now was not the time to be taming newborns or playing babysitter, my angel was out there and we had to find here.

I brought this upon myself, why did I ever think Bella would forget me, or want to. She had professed her love to me on so many levels; even to the point that she would give up her mortality to be with me. That takes devotion. I knew Bella never did things half heartedly and she loved me whole heartedly, and I threw her away like an old phone book. When we find her I will spend the rest of my life apologizing to her for everything I had done to her this past year.

"Edward, are you going to be able to handle this?" Esme asked when she turned her head around to look at me in the back seat.

She may be my mother but who was she kidding, of course I couldn't handle this. Bella was missing, it was my fault and we hand no idea where she was or how she was doing? I glanced at her, didn't say a word and turned my eyes back out the window.

'Sorry, thought I would ask anyway,' Esme turned back around and faced forward.

We were almost there now. I recognized the large wildlife park on my left and the enormous forest on my right. In another few minutes we would be face to face to the on that had interrupted our search. I'll give her two days then I was gone. I couldn't leave Bella out there with god knows what doing unimaginable things to her. My stomach twisted at what those possibilities could entail.

We pulled up and parked in front of the two story log cabin mansion, they were as bad as us when it came to their homes, larger the better. Tanya was outside waiting for us as we climbed out of the cars.

"Oh good you left the Volvo at home. I forgot to mention that," Tanya said quietly and sighed heavily.

"Why would we have to leave the car?" Carlisle was honesty curious as was I.

"Bee had an episode when she saw a silver car then said something about a shiny Volvo. We thought it would be better for her if she didn't see one. And no one says the name 'Edward' that will set her off too." 'Poor thing.' Tanya's thoughts then centered on the possibilities for her amnesia.

'What in the world is wrong with this girl?' Carlisle looked stumped and bewildered.

We walked up the porch steps with Tanya and into the house. 'Edward, you should stay back for a bit '

What in the world? Right, my name would set her off. Oh well, not that it affects me in the slightest. Let the good doctor handle things. Maybe I could just head over to our Alaskan home for now.

'Don't you dare go anywhere Edward, you can stay with the rest of us for now,' leave it to the evil pixie to thwart all plans.

I huffed and flumped down on the bench positioned at the entry way. This was beyond annoying. I just want to be out there looking for Bella, not playing nurse maid to a confused newborn.

"She's in the living room playing chess with Eleazar." Tanya looked around to each of us and her eyes lingered on me the longest. 'Hopefully this won't take long and you can get back to looking for your girlfriend.'

I winced as she tried to picture what Bella looked like, nothing came close to what my Bella truly is.

'I'm over a thousand years old and she's kicking my butt!' I smirked as Eleazar complained and he contemplated his next move. 'The knight or the bishop?'

I watched Carlisle follow Tanya into the living room and his mind immediately became bombarded with images of Bella. Why in the world would he be thinking of Bella when he's supposed to be helping the newborn. He then started going over different types of surgeries he's done and in which country.

Okay strange, why was he blocking me?

Eleazar lost his match against the fledgling and he smiled at her, congratulating her on a game well played. I looked at the girl before him using his eyes. Golden brown eyes stared back at him happily, her dark chocolate brown hair with red highlights bounced as she lifted her head. There was a huge smile on her luscious red lips, the bottom was slightly larger then the top.

I sat up straight on the bench as I took in the newborn's appearance. Her heart shaped face stared back at Eleazar then looked at Carmen and Kate.

"I did it, I won!" her voice was like a whimsical melody but it was still very familiar.

"Someone grab my son, keep him back!" Carlisle was too late in his warning.

I was up and out of the foyer before Carlisle could even say 'son'. I burst into the living room and rushed toward the newborn, nothing else on my mind but holding her in my arms.

'CRAP!'

'What the?'

'Oh no...'

'Edward, don't...'

Bee's Point of View

I was stunned when I was pulled into someone's embrace. The arms around me were familiar but they also seemed to rip at the edges of my chest and tear at the seams of my soul.

"Bella..."

That one small word that was whispered in a voice that reverberated in every vein of my body caused my mind to scream at me incoherently. The arms, the embrace, the voice, all of it caused me to snap.

"GET OFF!" I screamed as loudly as I could and pushed against the chest that was holding me with all my might. In the next instant, the person that was holding me was crashing into the far wall and I was cowering against the wall behind me. I was shaking uncontrollably and my eyes wouldn't focus on anything specific.

Tanya was by my side in a blink trying to calm me down. I calmed enough to glance over at my assailant. He had a look like someone had just killed his mother, father and dog then stuck a knife in his chest. I tried to examine his face further but there was an ache in my chest and I had to look away.

I gazed at Tanya's worried expression, numerous questions seeping from her eyes. I had no answers, I had no idea why I acted that way to being hugged by him, and I didn't react that way to anyone else. I rested my forehead on my knees and I suddenly felt like I was losing everything, my past self, who I had become, my family, my future.

Tanya kissed my forehead and I shuddered. "Kate, can you take Bee out to hunt please?"

"Definitely," Kate walked over to me and helped me to my feet.

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed the person I had thrown earlier take a step in my direction, I involuntarily flinched away from him and he faltered. He looked at me with pleading eyes that wanted nothing more than to wrap me in his arms, but he was scared, I was scared.

"Come on Bee, we'll find you a nice fat cougar." I let Kate lead me out the back door and she took my hand and pulled me into the forest.

We ran for about an hour before we found a bear for Kate and then another hour away we found my cougar. Once I was full I slouched to the ground and landed on my bottom.

"Kate, is it possible for a vampire to be broken?" I had no other explanation for my behavior. Why had I thrown someone across the room? Did I know him? I don't think so but his touch and voice created terrible feelings in my body. There was something about this one person that my subconscious didn't like.

"A broken vampire? Well that's a new one. I guess anything is possible, why?" Kate said as she helped dispose of the cougar.

"Why else would I attack someone? I have absolutely no memories, I didn't even know I was a vampire. There is something seriously wrong with me." I looked at the ground in front of me. It was starting to get frost now, in just a few more weeks we would have snow and a lot of it. "Kate, who was that guy that grabbed me earlier?"

Kate glanced at me like she had the answer but was afraid to tell me. "Him and his family are old friends of our. They have a home not that far from here, but they've recently been living in Quebec." Kate sat down on the ground next to me and started to rip a small piece of wood apart. "Recently Ed- his girlfriend went missing and he's been looking for her. If not for that fact they would have been here a lot sooner."

If that guy had a girlfriend why was he hugging me? Maybe I looked like her. "Who is Bella?"

Kate looked thoughtful for a moment before answering. "I believe that was the name of his girlfriend. He called you that when he hugged you didn't he?" I nodded. "Hmm, maybe you look like her. I heard she's human."

My eyes shot to Kate's thinking face. "That couldn't be easy."

"Tell me about it. If he wasn't a vegetarian it could be looked at as him playing with his food." I giggled at her little joke.

I had a very ominous feeling when I looked at my hugger. What was it about him, of all people, why did he give me a creepy feeling.

"We should head back so the Doc can have a look at you." I nodded at her suggestion and got to my feet. Hopefully he can help me and I'll have my past returned to me.

Four words repeated themselves in my head over and over again. "I don't want you. I don't want you. I don't want you... "

Tanya's Point of View

What the hell just happened? One second Bee was happily beating Eleazar at chess, I was about to introduce her to Carlisle then Edward burst into the room. Bee had reacted in a way I never would have expected from her. She was always so cheerful and passive so when Edward embraced her and she threw him across the room, it left us all speechless.

Once Kate had taken Bee outside to hunt and cool off I turned slowly on Edward. The one guy around that sparked my interest, which had snubbed me repeatedly, had just scared the crap out of Bee. My need to protect Bee from all possible threats overrode my love and lust for the only single Cullen.

I stalked toward Edward angrily and he backed up into the wall away from me. "What is your problem?"

"I uh..."

"I think I might know why she's so emotionally troubled." Alice stepped around Jasper and glared daggers at Edward.

"And how is that possible? Why would you know about the cause for Bee's problems." I stared curiously between Alice and Edward. She looked furious and Edward looked hurt.

"Because your Bee is my Bella. We've been searching for her the last five months when she went missing from Forks," he looked sadly at me.

Bee was really Edward's girlfriend Bella, the human. "How in the world did you lose a human girl in that small of a town?" His eyes widened infintesmally as he stared at me then his eyes took on a hollow empty appearance.

"There was an accident at her birthday party last September, there was blood and Edward felt the need to leave." Alice stated bluntly.

"Okay, so you moved from Forks but why is she so damaged?" I was starting to get annoyed, there was something critical that had happened between them and everyone seemed to be beating around the bush.

Edward sighed heavily then slumped to the floor. "I wanted her to have a normal human life...I broke up with her and left, hoping she would forget about me and move on." I watched as he fisted his hands into his hair and pulled roughly.

There had to be more. She had forgotten everything, only something traumatic could cause that. "What are you not telling me? You did or said something to guarantee that she would forget didn't you?"

He flinched at my words and I definitely knew he had done something terrible. "She wasn't making my leaving very easy. I had to convince her to let me go and forget about me," he glanced up at me then looked to each member of his family for forgiveness. "I told her I didn't want her anymore."

"YOU WHAT?!" everyone in the room screamed in unison.

"You never told us any of that. How could you do that to her, to us, to yourself?" Esme fell to her knees as she stared at Edward, stunned. Carlisle was kneeling by her side in an instant, trying to console her.

"Well it looks like you got your wish than Edward," he looked at me with sad confused eyes. "You wanted her to forget you, well she did, and then some."

His eyes widened as the truth of my words sunk in. I'm sure he didn't really intend for her to forget him in this way or quite so thoroughly but it happened.

"Tanya, do you have any knowledge about how she was changed," Dr. Carlisle was back in his body now, the loving husband and father put on the back burner.

I sighed heavily, I knew I had to tell them the tragedy but it was something I had hoped to prolong. "You know that Irina's gift is to see the last minute before a person starts turning, right?" Carlisle nodded as did everyone else. "Sadly we do know. From what Irina could see, Bee...or Bella, was in a small boathouse. There was a blonde haired vampire of about nineteen or twenty and he... raped her. We believe there is venom in a male vampire's semen and that was how she was changed."

Much to my surprise Edward burst out laughing hystically. "What the hell is wrong with you? You just learned your girlfriend was raped and turned into something you were trying to avoid." I failed to see the humor in the situation. I stood in front of Edward and raised my hand to slap him, this was not a laughing matter.

He held his hand up defensively and I paused in my assault. "What I find funny Tanya is that I left Bella to protect her from this supernatural world and all the dangers that came with it. My plan has backfired on me in every possible way. I wanted her safe and instead she was kidnapped and raped, I never wanted her to become a vampire but she is one now, I wanted her to forget about me and move on with her life but instead she'll forever be locked at eighteen and she has forgotten everything. Am I the only one who sees the irony of all of his?"

I looked down at him with pained and sorrowful eyes. He did make a good point about all his hurting was for not. "I don't think you need to laugh about it though."

"Very true, I'm sorry." I watched with narrowed eyes as he got to his feet.

"Excuse me, Eleazar have you been able to determine if Bella has any ability? While she was human her mind was closed off to Edward." Carlisle glanced at Eleazar then to his son. "Is it still unreadable?"

Edward nodded just before Eleazar clear his throat to speak.

"I can tell you she does in fact have a gift but I can't tell you what it is. All I can detect is a small fizzle that would imply she is indeed gifted. I think her ability is linked to her amnesia, so I can't tell you what she is capable of." Carmen came up behind her husband and grasped his hand, supporting him emotionally.

I was astonished when Kate and Bee walk through the back doors to join us. Bee was calm and collected and had an aura of confidence. She glanced at Edward and for a split second I thought she might have remembered him. He straightened himself to his full height of six foot two, a crooked smile inching it's way onto his face as he gazed at her. Bee then turned her attention to Carlisle and walked up to him.

"Please, help me remember."

Chapter End Notes:

Poor Edward, think he's miserable enough yet? Do you think it was a bit over the top when Edward starting laughing at Bella's story? What could Bella's gift possibly be?

I'm not ending the story yet but I'm unsure of how to go about the ending. What type of an ending would you readers prefer to see? Maybe it will spark an idea in me.