I don't own anything Twilight. Everything belongs to Stephenie Meyers. No copyright infringement intended. I'm just playing around with her creation.

Previously: Edward reflects over his stupidity at leaving Bella. Edward embraces Bee and is then thrown across the room. Kate takes Bee hunting. Edward tells everyone how he broke up with Bella. Tanya lays into Edward. Tanya tells the Cullens about Bella's change.

Chapter 7: Emotional Break Downs

Bella's Point of View

"Alright, Bella. Just carry on with your day as you normally would. I'll be taking notes to see if anything carried over from your human life. Hopefully from that I will come up with a plan to regain your memories." Carlisle pulled a pad of paper and a pen from a black bag he had carried in earlier. "Are you sure you want to remember, you might not like what you learn?"

I looked around to all the faces I called family and the many other faces that I didn't recognize. The Cullens had told me last night about my human life in Forks and my connection to them. Shortly after arriving in the small rainy town I had befriended them, Alice most of all. I had learned that they were vampires and kept their secret. Despite what they were, I had fallen in love with Edward and we had started dating.

I glanced over to Edward as he leaned against the far wall, his eyes locked on me. From what I could tell and had seen of him that night, he seemed perfect. I had seen myself in a mirror lately – sure I was pretty but not pretty enough to be with someone so staggeringly gorgeous.

What had drawn him to want me in the first place? If I had gone missing from my home, where was he when I disappeared? I had to learn the truth to my questions and find my memories. I wholeheartedly wanted to know what that Greek god of beauty saw in a plain Jane. Everyone had told me how much he loved me but I couldn't understand why.

I kept my eyes focused on the god that called himself my boyfriend. "Yes, doctor, I do."

"Okay, just interact with everyone like usual," that was easier said than done.

I'm sure he would get bored with me soon enough with the way my daily regime played out. He said to do my normal thing, so I will.

I walked over to a bookcase and picked up the book I had been reading then relaxed on the couch and stared reading.

"What are you reading?" Carlisle asked simply.

"Wuthering Heights," I was surprised to hear a snicker come from Edward. "What?"

"That was your favorite book as a human. Make a note of that Carlisle." I narrowed my eyes at him as he continued to chuckle.

I slammed my book down on the table and stalked toward my room. I would think he would be happy that something had carried over to my new life. Did he not want me to remember, is that why he was being so difficult right now?

I stared around my room for something to do. I walked over and turned on my cd player, letting the gentle notes of Bach fill the room. I lay down on my bed and closed my eyes, letting the music float around me, calming me. I heard Carlisle scribbling on his pad from the hall but nothing else. Edward didn't follow after me and I felt a hole in my chest that I couldn't identify.

"Bella?" I heard a light whimsical voice from the hall and looked to see the tiny girl that had been introduced as my best friend and one of the doctor's daughters. Her eyes were begging me to come in – I smiled and waved her inside.

Maybe that had been a mistake. She ran across the room and leapt onto the bed, successfully wrapping her small arms around my waist much like a little child would their mother.

"Alice?"

She sat up and gazed at me with glassy eyes. "You remember me?"

I gave her a half smile and shook my head. "Sorry, I only remember names right now."

Her eyes and hope fell. She then moved so she was kneeling in front of me on the bed. She grabbed my hands and started bouncing up and down. "That's okay, well figure it out. You'll remember in no time."

"I was told that you had the gift to see the future. What do you see for me? When will I get my memories back?" her eyes grew wide then fell to her lap where our joined hands rested.

"I wish I knew. About five months ago, I ceased to see you. All I can see is a purplish fog. It might have something to do with your amnesia or maybe a hidden gift," my eyes joined hers in her lap.

"Oh," so the seer couldn't even see me. I sure hoped the doctor could help me.

I was chatting with Alice for a couple hours. She told me about our trips into town and our makeover sessions. I continued to smile at her as she bounced on my bed, excited about everything she told me. Only a few things seemed to spark a faint memory, like dress shopping for a large party, I think it was Prom, and about a dozen makeovers.

My brain went totally blank and my insides turned to ice when some piano notes drifted up the stairs to my room. I recognized the melody but I couldn't place it. As the musical tempo increased and became more urgent, the ache in my chest increased as well.

"EDWARD, STOP!"

I barely made out Carlisle shouting to his son before I let out a gut-wrenching scream as I fell off the bed and crumbled to the floor in agony. The pain in my chest was the worst I had ever felt and I had no explanation for its cause.

Alice was holding my shoulders to her and Carlisle was rubbing circles on my back to sooth me, both looked confused and terrified with worry.

I gazed upward and saw the copper-headed god standing in the doorway. His face riddled with surprise, shame and worry. He looked at me with his piercing golden eyes and there was regret and sorrow filling them. He looked shattered, broken hearted and dead inside. I had a sudden urge to kiss away the worry and regret from his expression but somewhere in my head was telling me stay far away from him.

"I'm sorry Edward, that melody you were playing, what was it?" I cringed as I voiced my question. The pain was so unbearable I wanted to cry, loudly.

Edward's eyes shot wide as he stared at me vexed. "It's your lullaby Bella, I wrote it for you."

"I don't want you..."

There were those words again. Had he said them to me at some point? Everything he did showed that he loved me. Maybe he loved me but didn't want me? How does that work?

Edward walked into my room and kneeled before me. "I'm so sorry, had I of known this would happen I would have-"

While apologizing he had reached for my hand and held it. Instantly there was a shock like a bolt of electricity into my hand and I jerked my hand away from him. I immediately saw the hurt he was trying to hide in his eyes.

He stood up and turned for the door. "I'll leave you to Carlisle now," in a blur, he was gone.

I stared after him, stone still like only a vampire could do. My breathing was coming out labored. I had a vague memory of Edward kissing my forehead then walking away from me. I hollered after him but nothing, and then I fell to the damp forest floor.

He left me! I started to feel sick and wrapped my arms around my stomach as I climbed off the floor. As fast as my nauseated stomach would allow me, I made it down the stairs and ran out the back door. Within a second, I had lost the last of the cougar I had the night before.

"Bella?" Alice, Carlisle and Tanya were standing behind me, shocked.

I whipped my mouth clean of the blood and venom with the sleeve of my shirt. I stared into the forest, emotions warring inside me, but the strongest was anger. "He left me..." I whispered in a snarl as I stared into the blackness of the surrounding trees.

Edward's Point of View

When Bella balked away from my touch for the second time in less than 24 hours I felt my already iced over heart shatter into a thousand tiny little shards.

I was acting like an idiot. I knew she was sensitive around any one unknown, namely me. I was just so glad to see that she was all right, well, sort of. Yes, she had been turned into what I feared the most but the main point was she was here, I could touch her, talk to her, and adore her once again.

Then there was the issue of her amnesia.

When she remembered something about the rest of my family, she just looked confused or awed. However, when she remembered something about me she was pained, screaming, and unable to move. I believe my leaving had done more damage to her than the rest of my family's leaving had done.

I was surprised when she fled out the back door, clenching her stomach. The sound of vomiting hit my ears like a hammer to an anvil. It rang deep and loud through my entire body. Vampires don't get nauseous or sick, was this my fault as well? I walked over and leaned against the wall next to the back door.

"He left me..."

I heard her whisper in a very hushed and venomous tone. Did she remember what I had done? My ears pricked up as I heard Carlisle's voice.

"Do you have your memories back?" he asked her eager and curious.

"Sorry no. I just remember him leaving me behind in a forest, I was all alone." I heard a small impact on the grass and assumed she had fallen to her knees.

So, she still had no idea of the blasphemy I had portrayed over a year ago. Her mind was free of my debilitating lie but it was obvious her heart had believed every word and she still subconsciously reacted to it.

Bella's sobbing words ripped at the torn edges of my fractured and frozen heart. "Why did he leave me? If he loves me so much, how could he do that? You're not supposed to abandon the one you love, ever."

Her words stung like a needle straight to the chest. I slid to the floor and fisted my hands into my messy locks then pulled so hard I started getting a headache.

"He did it to protect you." Alice spoke softly from Bella's side. "You were always in danger when you were around him. He wanted you to have a happy and normal human life."

"What made him think I wasn't happy?" the tone of Bella's voice wasn't exactly questioning, it was accusing and sarcastic. "I may not have many memories of him but I do know that that is a really stupid and selfish excuse," she then let out a low growl. "I so want to deck him right now and I don't exactly know why."

I watched through Alice's eyes as she placed a hand on Bella's shoulder and looked in my direction of the house, her words flowed loudly and barbed. "Don't worry – he would deserve everything you threw at him, his car included."

I winced at her mentioning my own car being thrown at me by the person I still saw as being the small, accident prone, human girl I had fallen in love with.

Now she wasn't that same girl, far from it. In only the nine months before her transformation, she had matured. Her body was slimmer; her face was leaner, her hair longer, and her breasts fuller. All the 'baby fat' was gone, leaving behind a stunning eighteen year old. If it was possible I was finding myself drawn more to her, or maybe it was the knowledge that she was no longer breakable, either way, I wanted her more now than when her blood called to me or any other time during her human life.

"Well, if your calm enough now shall we continue the monitoring?" Carlisle asked and offered his hand to help Bella to her feet.

"I do feel like another game of chess," she smiled at them and I felt my stomach do a flop. If it was possible, I believe her smile became more radiant with the change as well.

"Why don't you play a game with Jasper? He did teach you the game." I quickly went to the living room so I wasn't caught eavesdropping. Alice escorted Bella inside and led her to the chessboard that Jasper was already setting up.

I watched with intense curiosity, as their game got underway.

'Damn, she's improved. Wonder if it's her vampire mind or playing with Eleazar?' I was surprised by Jasper's thoughts.

Eleazar was over a thousand years old and she had beaten him. Maybe Jasper was just a really good teacher. Bella was ecstatic when she won against Jasper.

"Looks like the student has become the teacher," I smirked at Jasper and he glared at me in return. I thought I was going to loose myself when Bella smiled happily at me. What I wouldn't give to have her love filled gaze back, but I had ruined that option that fateful day in the forest.

Perhaps Bella's amnesia was a blessing in disguise. Sure she had forgotten all the kisses, caresses, and I love you's but she had also forgot about that painful first week when she appeared in Forks, James's attack, and the birthday party gone awry and the pain of when I left. We could start over anew with no bloodlust to immobilize me or fear of her being accidently harmed. For the first time we could just be, Bella and Edward without the monster lurking in the shadows.

'I'm proud of your decision. Don't screw it up this time.' Alice glared at me from Jasper's side then smile. 'Do you want my help in wooing her again?'

I shook my head then gazed over at the girl that had stolen my heart. The girl I had vowed would never know the inner workings of this world. The girl I longed to hold in my arms. The girl turned vampire that set everything in my body on fire. The same girl, that whether she was human or vampire continued to turn my word upside down. I vow that I will make this right, we will be together again and we'll be deliriously happy.

Alice nodded her head with a faint smile in acceptance and I smiled back to her.

I had spent a good portion of the day reflecting over what had happened to my Bella. After doing what I thought was the right thing to do, she was in danger from a much more violent creature than me, a newborn with lust issues. That damn monster had stolen her innocence away violently and she couldn't even fight back, since he was a vampire. I had been so fixated on protecting her from my monster I had completely forgotten about all of the other fiends out there.

That thing had violently stolen the same thing Bella had offered me repeatedly. Now, due to my stubbornness it was lost to both of us. I was having the problem now of which monster to be more mad at, myself for leaving Bella to be attacked or the monster that had raped her and stolen her innocence and mortality away from her. In a way, I guess both monsters had stolen something from her, her heart, soul, and livelihood by me and her virginity, innocence and humanity by the other.

Jacob's Point of View

Five months, five damn months and no sign of Bella. How in the world had her scent died in that boathouse I will never know? The pack had searched all over Washington, into Canada and down into Oregon, I had even investigated into Idaho briefly. Now I was back in Forks, bracing myself for what was next. Charlie.

It was late in the evening so I knew he would be home. I took a deep breath then stepped onto the porch and knocked. I heard some shuffling around inside then the door clicked open.

The man that had been a family friend stared at me. Billy had told me Charlie wasn't taking Bella's disappearance very well but I didn't expect this. His cheekbones were sunken in and his complexion was pale, he was thinner than normal and he seemed lifeless.

"Jake, please say you found something, anything?" he grabbed my shoulder and pulled me into the house.

I hung my head as I sat on the small sofa. How am I supposed to break this man's heart delicately? I don't think there is a way. "I'm sorry Charlie, we haven't found anything. She just disappeared."

He walked over to the fireplace and looked at a picture of Bella in the twelfth grade, it had been taken just before her leech had left and destroyed her. It was amazing how the radiant creature in the photo could be the Bella that we knew now.

The bloodsucker had offered to take her senior photos and Charlie and Bella had jumped on the opportunity. In the picture, Bella was sitting in a beautiful green meadow surrounded by wildflowers. She was wearing a pair of black jeans and a navy blue V-neck blouse and she wore the most exquisite smile I had ever seen on her face. I hated to admit it but he did an amazing job with the pictures.

She only bestowed that certain smile on her bloodsucker. Every time I saw that picture, it made me jealous. Bella had never smiled at me like that nor did she look at me the way she did when it involved the mosquito, and it seemed like she never would.

Charlie was still looking over all of Bella's photos. Anyone could see the terrible lose in his eyes and it deepened at my verbalized revelation. First, his wife leaves him nearly eighteen years ago. His only child finally returns and after only one year together, she disappears. Charlie's life seemed to be filled with nothing but pain.

"I'm not giving up. I don't care if I have to search all over this country for her. I won't stop till I find something." I stared up at him confidently.

"Thanks Jake but after all this time I know what the odds are of Bella being found. I've pretty much accepted the fact that my daughter is lost to us. I just hope she isn't hurting," he looked ready to cry and I shouldn't be here when that happened.

"I'll head home now okay Charlie?" I stood up and grasped Charlie's offered hand.

"Thanks again Jake. Say 'hi' to Billy for me," he led me out of the house and quietly closed the door behind me.

As soon as the door closed, I heard a grown man break down and cry for the second time in my life, the first time being when my dad collapsed in tears right after my mom had died.

I would say hello to my dad then I would head out on my own. I stalked into the forest next to the house and quickly phased so I could get home faster.

Hey, Jake, How did the search go?

Obviously, Embry, it wasn't good.

Sorry.

Jake, it's about time you got back.

Hi Sam, I just wanted to let you know I'm not stopping. Charlie needs closure, this isn't right. Even if he's accepted her missing, I'm not.

Are you sure about this?

Yes Sam, I am.

Okay, just be careful alright.

Always am...

I reached the forest outside my house and phased quickly. Billy wasn't home so I left him a note and headed back out in to the dark forest to continue my rescue mission.

Chapter End Notes:

And even more hysterics on Bella's part. Well, what did you expect, didn't think I was going to make it easy on them did you? So what could Edward do to win Bella over without setting her off into a fit? Will he even be able to?