Aww, yay! Thanks for the wonderful reviews! I'm glad that (most of) you are enjoying the story! You're all fantastic. And a special shout-out to KHCrazy; it's always so nice to see a familiar face in a new fandom! :3

I would like to add to the warnings that this may eventually border on crack humor, if it isn't already. :)

And now, onto the next chapter!

I Saw Brother Kissing Santa Claus, Part 2

Mokuba lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, grinning from ear to ear. He couldn't sleep. He was too excited.

He watched the fan above him turn in slow, lazy circles. After watching it spin a few dozen times, he flopped over onto his side and stared at the designs in the textures covering the wall his bed was propped up against, hoping it would hypnotize him to slumber.

He needed to sleep. Not because he was tired, mind you. He was far too eager for the inevitable visit from Santa to sleep. But he needed to sleep, because if he didn't, Santa might change his mind and not give him presents.

Granted, it wasn't Christmas Eve yet. That would be the next night. But as every child knows, Santa looks extra hard for good behavior right before Christmas. Joey said so. And Joey knew absolutely everything there was to know about Santa ever. Mokuba was beginning to believe that Joey and Santa were probably best friends. Well, after Yugi, of course.

Mokuba flipped onto his other side restlessly. This wasn't working, he just couldn't fall asleep. He weighed his options thoughtfully. On the one hand, he could stay here and keep waiting to fall asleep. He wouldn't be creeping around like he wasn't supposed to, but wouldn't be sleeping like he was supposed to, either. On the other hand, he could risk getting out of bed to find Seto, who would surely know a good way to help him sleep.

Mokuba deliberated for a few minutes before making his mind, putting on some Kuriboh slippers and poking his head out his bedroom door. He looked left, then right, to make sure that Santa wasn't watching out for him.

Mokuba padded stealthily down the hall until at last he reached the door into Seto's bedroom. He called out softly. "Big brother?" Silence was his reply. He tried again, a little louder, to no avail.

Mokuba tentatively tried the handle, though he fully expected it to be locked. After one too many times of Mokuba walking in unannounced during Seto's and Joey's "alone time," they had decided that locking the door would be beneficial for all parties around – for their privacy as well as Mokuba not needing therapy for the remainder of his existence.

To his surprise, however, the handle gave and the door creaked softly inwards. Mokuba gulped. "Uh, Seto?" he called in. Still nothing. Mokuba steeled himself, screwed his eyes shut, and said in a louder voice. "I'm coming in!"

Arms outstretched in front of himself, he blindly felt his way through the room until he bumped gently into the bed. He reached out and poked what he had hoped would be his brother, but it was far too squishy. He slowly peeled one eye open a fraction of a sliver, ready to slam it shut at superhuman speed should he come face to face with far more of Joey than he ever would want to see, but instead found himself poking a pillow.

Mokuba frowned. He opened his other eye and looked around. He was alone in the room. He bit his lip nervously. Why weren't they sleeping? Santa was going to be so mad.

He peered out the hall. No sign of anyone. He wandered around the mansion, not sure where to search for them. He eventually found himself in another wing, the same wing with the living room with the cozy fire place where he had found Joey and Seto earlier, when he heard his brother's muffled voice. As he crept closer, the voices started to become clear.

"What the—" and here Mokuba heard Seto utter a word that would most definitely cost him his presents from Santa that year "—is that?" His brother seemed to be choking back laughter. Mokuba heard another voice mumble something in reply, but he was still too far away to discern what it was.

He crept closer still until he came upon the closed door leading into the living room. The voices were coming from within, but suddenly got quieter to an almost whisper. It was incredibly difficult to understand because of the door.

Now, he could try the handle and announce his presence, but curiosity got the better of him.

He knelt down to peer through the keyhole. And holy crap, it was Santa!

Mokuba nearly lost his balance in surprise. It was really him! Here! In his house! Santa had his back to him, but there was no mistaking that red coat and hat. He could even see the white beard. Mokuba scrambled back up and twisted his head to get a better view of the rest of the room.

He saw his brother standing in front of Santa, facing the doorway he was currently hiding behind. Mokuba felt torn in a moral dilemma; he should go back to bed, because if Santa found out he was eavesdropping, he was in hot water for sure. But at the same time, they might be discussing his presents, and how could Mokuba pass up on such a perfect opportunity?

Mind made up, he pressed closer to the keyhole. It was hard to hear them talking, but he was able to catch snippets here and there. However, due to the muffling, it was difficult to tell their voices apart. In fact, he couldn't even recognize Seto's voice; he only knew when it was his brother talking because he was able to see when Seto's mouth was moving.

After a few moments of not understanding a single word, he was getting ready to give up when there! His name! He heard his name!

He frantically pressed his face into the door as hard as he could without shoving the handle into his brain. He had to hear what they were saying! Unfortunately, it was only a little better. There were a few more moments of agonizing mumbling. Finally, he was able to make out something Santa said.

"—getting too old to believe—"

Mokuba's heart turned to stone in his chest. No! he wanted to shout. He believed! He would have announced his presence if doing so wouldn't jeopardize his presents, as he was supposed to be sleeping and dreaming of sugarplum fairies, whatever those were.

Then Mokuba noticed Santa getting really close to Seto. Too close. What was Santa doing?

Seto looked as confused as Mokuba felt, and said something that he couldn't catch.

Santa started talking again. "—let him catch me—" more mumbling "—go all the way—"

Mokuba slapped his hands over his mouth as he gasped to prevent the sound from being heard. This sounded bad. What was going on here?

Santa put his arms around Seto, effectively blocking Mokuba's view of his brother's face.

Mokuba seethed. How dare Santa touch his brother like that! He was a pervert! Kick him in the groin! Mokuba mentally shouted.

But Seto didn't. Maybe his brother was afraid to lose his presents? He looked desperately into the keyhole. Seto and Santa both mumbled something else, and then Santa leaned in and kissed his brother.

What? Mokuba's eyes bugged out of his skull. This wasn't happening. Everything he had loved about Santa had just been corrupted. And Seto… He began to run in frantic circles. He had to help! Seto needed him! He had to do something! But what? He was just a little kid. What could he do?

He had to get Joey!

Mokuba tripped over his own feet. Joey… Joey would be crushed. He still thought that Santa was a force of good in the world. How was he going to be able to break Santa's betrayal to him?

Mokuba heard a strange sound that interrupted his panicked thoughts, and plastered himself again to the small opening. He saw Seto struggling against Santa's evil clutches. "Stop! Stop!" Seto cried.

"Nothing can stop me!" Kris Kringle replied with a feral growl.

Mokuba's whole body went cold. Dear God, Santa was a rapist.

There was no time to get Joey. Mokuba threw himself at the doorknob, but the door was locked, and his poor young muscles could not overcome it. Both voices stopped, however. Mokuba leaned back down to peer into his keyhole to see if Seto was still okay, just in time to see Seto punch Santa upside the head. "No means no," his brother said sternly.

Mokuba breathed a deep sigh of relief. He didn't know what he was getting so worked up over. Seto could take care of himself. He would show Santa a thing or two about what it meant to try to take advantage of a Kaiba. Mokuba nodded proudly. Nothing to worry about. He decided to leave Seto to beat the crap out of Santa, and began to crawl back upstairs before he was discovered.

Rewinding back a little, back to when Mokuba was standing in his brother's room wondering where the hell he had wondered off to, Seto was standing in the cozy living room in front of the roaring fireplace, staring into the flickering flames as he reflected back on Mokuba's childhood and how its end was drawing nearer every day. It was a sad thought for him.

As Mokuba began his search for his lost sibling, Seto heard the door behind him open and close softly, and then a voice behind him. "You know, if you keep frowning like that, your face will freeze that way." Seto could hear the grin in Joey's voice.

Seto smirked into the fire despite his wistful mood. "I find that highly unlikely."

He heard Joey take a few steps closer, and a teasing lilt found its way into his voice. "Fact. You should believe me. I'm a professional on the matter."

Seto snorted lightly. "A professional on the matter of making ridiculous faces, or having them stuck to your face?"

Joey chuckled. "How about both?" The exuberant cheerfulness in his voice lessened. "You okay? You still sad about Mokuba growing up?"

Seto sighed. Of course Joey would know exactly what was on his mind. He turned around to face the blonde boy. "Yeah, I just—" Kaiba's voice broke off chokingly. He took a moment to take in what Joey was wearing before giving a strangled laugh. "What the—" and here Seto uttered a word that would most definitely cost Mokuba his presents from Santa that year should his brother ever catch him saying it "—is that?" He gestured at the ensemble that Joey was sporting.

Joey huffed exasperatedly. "What does it look like? I'm Santa!"

"Keep your voice down," Seto hissed, suddenly aware that if Mokuba were to see Joey pretending to be Santa, it would be a crushing truth for the boy.

Joey seemed to realize this and also lowered his voice, despite the fact that Mokuba was surely asleep by now. "Sorry."

Seto rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I can see that you're Santa. The red suit and beard kind of gives it away." He eyed the fuzzy red hat that hung lopsidedly on Joey's head, effectively hiding his bright blonde hair. The fake beard hung loosely on Joey's lean face. "To be honest, you make a pretty crappy Santa." Joey made a sound of indignation. "But what I meant was, why?"

It was Joey's turn to roll his eyes. "For Mokuba, of course."

Seto started in surprise. "What?"

"Come on, Mokuba's a smart kid," Joey explained. "He's getting too old to believe on just faith alone. You want a few more years until you have to break it to him, right? Well, a little proof should go a long way to help you with that."

"Proof?" Seto repeated slowly, as he began to realize just what Joey was doing for him.

Joey shrugged. "Yeah, let him catch me on the roof or something. From far away, he won't even be able to tell it's me. If you're going to do something, go all the way, right?"

"You'd climb on our roof in the dead of night in the middle of winter while it's snowing?" Seto asked doubtfully, but with a telltale trace of adoration in his voice.'

Joey stepped closer to Seto, bringing the distance from a few feet to a few inches. "Well, yeah," he whispered in a voice that made Seto feel silly for ever thinking otherwise, and wrapped his arms around Seto's waist, holding him close.

"You're something else," Seto smiled gently, eyes glowing warmly.

Joey smirked. "Damn right, I am," he said in a low voice before he leaned in and softly pressed his lips to Seto's.

What he hadn't counted on was Seto snorting in amusement while trying to hold back laughter.

Joey pulled back and huffed testily, crossing his arms. "What is your problem? I'm trying to be romantic here."

Seto snorted again, and the corners of his lips twitched spasmodically as he tried to remain dignified. "Yeah, Santa's a regular Casanova." This didn't seem to improve Joey's mood. "It's your beard," he explained, scratching at his face where it had been assaulted by the faux facial hair. "It tickles."

Joey grinned. "Well, here, let me help with that," he said as he launched himself into a bear hug, rubbing his fake beard all over Seto's face.

"Stop! Stop!" Seto cried, trying to hide his laughter as he pushed away at Joey, but because he was nearing hysterical laughter, there wasn't much force behind his shoves.

"Nothing can stop me!" Joey growled huskily, digging his face just below Seto's ear where he knew the brunette was extremely sensitive.

They both heard a rattling sound coming from the door behind them.

Joey and Seto stopped dead in their tracks and glanced at the door.

"Did you hear something?" Joey whispered.

Seto bopped Joey lightly on the head. "No means no," he said in a fondly irritated voice.

Joey looked back up to Seto and batted his eyelashes coyly. "You weren't enjoying yourself?" he said teasingly.

Seto rolled his eyes and moved to sit in one of the armchairs by the fire. "You're going to traumatize Mokuba if he hears you."

Joey grinned devilishly, following Seto and sitting on the armrest. "Aw, I'm sure he's heard us by now. You're walls aren't that thick." He winked mischievously. "Now come on and give Santa some love." He puckered up.

Seto smirked and pushed Joey off the chair, who squawked as his butt came into contact with the cold wood floor.

Joey immediately jumped back up, and sniffed haughtily while brushing off imaginary dust from his bright red suit. "You, sir," he said in mock-indignation, nose in the air, "are heartless. I'm going to bed, as I have a late night tomorrow, what with all my gift giving and all." He walked to the door, expecting Seto to follow.

"Have fun by yourself," his boyfriend called out after him playfully.

Joey reached the door and looked back over his shoulder with a sultry come-hither stare. "More than if you were there," he teased.

Seto gave a feral smirk as he got up out of the chair. Joey turned to face him, leaning back against the door, heart beating faster even after all their time together. Seto slowly made his way towards him until their chests were touching. He braced his arm against the door so that it couldn't be opened and leaned over Joey. He growled. "I don't think so." And he kissed Santa.

Mokuba was just preparing to crawl back into bed when a terrible thought occurred to him. Santa visited, like, a bajillion houses every year. Who knew how many other parents (or in their case, big brother) Santa had tried to seduce?

Mokuba froze in horror. He had to do something.

He picked up the phone and stabbed in a few numbers.

"911, what's your emergency?" came a tinny woman's voice.

"You've got to help me!" Mokuba cried into the phone.

"Alright, if you can calm down and tell me what the problem is, I will send help over immediately."

"It-It's Santa!" Mokuba started. "He—"

The voice sighed softly. "Does Santa know that you're out of bed?" He thought he heard her say to someone else on the other side of the line, "Another Santa sighting call."

"No, but you don't understand, he—"

"If he catches you out of bed, you'll have to get coal."

"But—"

"Now off to bed with you."

"Wait! I—"

Click.

Mokuba stared at the phone numbly. That was it. There was no one to help him.

He thought of Seto, and how he must be upset that Santa would hit on him like that. And poor Joey, too. He had so much faith in Santa.

Mokuba growled determinedly. So no one would help him. Well that was fine. He didn't need help. He was a Kaiba! He would take care of this himself. Santa would pay.

He walked over to his dresser and riffled through the bottom drawer. He flung socks and underwear over his shoulder until he found what he was searching for. He pulled it out and looked at it in the moonlight streaming through his window.

Seto's credit card. For emergencies, of course.

Mokuba grinned darkly. Oh yes, Santa would pay.

Oh dear, what mischief is Mokuba planning? Who knows! Well, maybe me. Quite possibly. ;) I guess we'll have to see.

If you enjoyed it at all, take the time to leave a review! It brings me such joy to see people get a smile or - dare I hope - a chuckle out of it. Also, due to finals and such, I cannot promise when the next chapter will be. Hopefully before Christmas! Thanks to all!

-Grey