A/N: I don't own New Moon, thanks be to god!!! And this story is based loosely off of the movie, so the scenes are a little mixed up within the movie, but this is just for fun, so it shouldn't matter anyway. This is my second story, so be sure to read the first one if you haven't and please review afterwards. I hope all you Anti-Twilight fans out there like this.
"Grandma?" I was standing in the middle of an open field. And just then, another figure walked into my sight. "Grandpa? Oh, my bad, it's just you Edward." But it seemed like he hadn't heard me. From where I could see Edward was at the edge of the clearing, still in the shade. He took a couple of steps forward into the sun-dappled field. "No Edward, she'll see your body glitter!" I screamed in his direction, but he still didn't listen to me. He kept progressing closer to me and at the same time my grandma walked towards me. The sun reflected from Edward's glitter as he stood next to me. "Grandma, um, this is…" I stopped before I said Edward because I looked over at her and she was copying my hand and mouth gestures. "How dare you, you son of a…!" I proceeded to slap her, but wasn't able to because it had apparently been a dream and I had waken up before receiving my satisfaction.
"Oh good, your awake." My dad walked in with presents in his hands. "Well, I guess I should say Happy Birthday." I don't think 'happy' were the right words, especially after he had woken me up from my acid trip dream.
"Um, thanks."
"Yeah, well, your mom and I got you a couple of things. Here, open mine."
"It's not even wrapped and well, it's a crack pipe too dad."
"I know, your very first one, too. And this one's from your mom."
I peeled away the paper hoping it wasn't another crack pipe. Unfortunately it was something far worse. "A magazine?" It was a brightly colored magazine with the title, 'High School Detention: Naughty Edition' written on the top with a young girl in a skimpy cheerleading uniform on the cover. I turned over the cover and found a hand-written note on the inside page. I read it aloud, "Dear Billy, I thought this would be the perfect gift to help you think about what you could do during your Senior Year. Take pictures, love Mom." There was a stain next to the note and it reeked of vodka. "Wow, she even got my name wrong, she should know that it's spelled with only one l.
"Wow, you're growing up so fast, getting your first dirty magazine and all."
"I'm not getting that old."
"Are you sure, I think you have a grey hair."
"No way." I jumped up and searched my head in front of the mirror. "There aren't any grey hairs there."
"Who said anything about your head." He left the room without saying anything else, leaving me completely repulsed. "Really funny." I checked down there anyway, just in case.
I was dreading going to school, I didn't want everyone talking about it being my birthday. I hate my birthdays, all the unnecessary attention, but at least I had my Edward. Speaking of Edward, he had just rolled up in his car as I got school.
"Hey Bella, Happy Birthday…"
"Oh, you knew about that?" I never remembered telling him about it.
"Yeah, I overheard you and your dad this morning."
"This morning, but I thought we were alone?"
"Well, sort of, I was outside."
"Wait, how long were you out there?"
"Well, let's just say that your dad wasn't lying about the grey hair." After Edward's confession of peeping on me, I saw Jacob walk over.
"Happy—"
"Please, not so loud. I don't want everyone knowing my business."
"Attention all ladies and delicious young men." The intercom came on and Eric was yelling through it. "I just wanted to announce a very important person's birthday. Congrats to my home-girl Bella for her 18th birthday, even though she looks like an 80 year old Asian woman."
"Oh, don't listen to him, I got you something." Jacob pulled out a little dream catcher that looked hand-made. "I made it myself from my own hair."
"Oh, you didn't have to do that, especially taking hair from your head."
"I didn't use any hair from my head…"
"Oh, um, then why is there a grey hair in here?"
"Oh, my bad, that one's yours."
"HOW DOES EVERYONE KNOW ABOUT THAT!!!"
"Come on Bella, Alice wanted to talk to you." Edward literally dragged me away from Jacob and pulled inside the school ignoring all the staring faces.
"Edward, people are staring at us." Edward snapped out of his trance-like state and suddenly dropped me. "Ouch!"
"BELLA! Happy Birthday!" I heard Alice shouting across the hall. "Are you coming to our house for your party?"
"Really, your throwing a party for me? I don't know…"
"Great, can't wait to see you! Here, open my present!" Alice thrusted a colorful box at my chest, almost knocking one of my lungs out.
"You got my underwear?"
"Don't you love them, they used to be mine, at least they were before I got Herpes."
"Oh, I guess that explains why they're crotch less and covered in blood."
"Oops, the blood's actually kinda new." She bent over and started to whisper, for once. "I started my period."
Edward leaned over and whispered to me too, "You don't want to know how it got there."
I took his word for it and didn't ask any questions.
"Make sure you wear them tonight, bye."
After school, Edward drove me over to his house to celebrate and no, I didn't wear Alice's crotch less panties.
"Are you ready? There are many things I can protect you from, but my sister isn't one of them." Edward was the first one to walk in followed by me.
The second I walked in the light came on and everyone shouted, "INTERVENTION!"
"Huh, I thought this was a birthday party."
"It is sweetheart, it's just that we're also holding an intervention for you at the same time."
"Um, ok, an intervention about what exactly?"
"We want to help you control your drug problem."
"Wait, Edward's a rapist and I'm the one with a problem? How does that make any sense?"
Jasper started twitching after my outburst. "Please, stop I can't handle it."
"It's okay Bella, Jacob's still new to only being with guys, he hasn't been with a girl in about 2 years."
"Oh, my bad." Jasper started to calm down after a little while, so I sat down to rest. "Crap, I think my period just started." I little blood started to fall on the seat and I saw Japer start to twitch again.
"I… must… have… YOU!!!" Jasper jumped at me while I was still sitting and grabbed and my clothes trying to rip them apart. His heavy breathing started to slow down. "Wait, is that a grey hair, never mind, I'm over it." He got up and left the room without a second thought.
"Well, I guess you could say that you were saved by the hair on your, um, let's not say actually."
A few days passed after that and I didn't see Edward either. I don't know why, but I had thrown out all my drugs and had been waiting in my room patiently. I was on my bed just waiting for something to happen, anything at all.
"Bella?" Edward was standing at my bedside.
"Edward, is that you?!" I looked over and it was him, just standing there. He had probably gotten in through the window like always.
"Bella, I need to talk to you, in private." We left the house and entered into the woods, the same place were he admitted he was a vampire. "Bella, we're leaving Forks."
"Okay, I'll go and start packing right away." I tried to turn around and run home, but Edward grabbed my arm.
"No, my family and myself. The cops are catching onto all of my rapes. It's too risky for me to stay here any longer and I can't have you dragged into all this. You just don't belong in my world, Bella."
"If this is about the grey hair, then… then… I'LL SHAVE!" As he turned around and left I tried to hug him, but I missed and fell, taking his pants off in the process. He kept on walking away as if he didn't notice his bottom half was completely naked. I ran after him when I got up, but he was already out of sight. My head felt light and dizzy.
When I woke up I was in my bed, I thought it had all been a dream. I tried calling Edward, but every time it said that the number never existed.
Out of anger I raided my dad's pill cabinet, grabbing every child-proof bottle I could, tearing them apart, and swallowing the pills in large gulps. It turned out I had engulfed a whole bottle of my dad's Viagra Pills. Random bouts of pleasure set in and for a while (aka 3 days) everything felt good in the world, until the side effects come around. Hair grew all over me especially in my armpits, arms, and legs. I tried shaving, but it all grew back in a couple of days. After a week or so I almost looked exactly like Jacob, or so I thought.
I went over to his house to visit because he was the only other boy I could really talk to. Jacob was walking into the woods when I got there. "Jacob, hey Jacob!" I ran over and caught up to him. "Wow, you shaved everything." His hair was cut short and he wasn't wearing a shirt. I could see the all of the skin on his chest and it was surprisingly tan.
"Yeah, I did, look." He dropped his pants and I saw everything else. I hid my eyes, but looked through my fingers.
A bunch of other guys were walking out of the woods that Jacob was about to go into and they were all nude as well. "Hey Jacob, let's go already."
"Sorry Bella, I have to leave, see you later." He ran off leaving his clothes behind. I saw so shocked and horrified that I chased after them.
"What are you doing with Jacob?" I yelled at the group. The leader turned around and looked at me, but said nothing.
A different member looked around and said, "Whatever we want to, you got a problem with that?"
"Bella, you should leave, please."
"And, what, leave you with these barbarians?" I slapped the person who had spoken a moment ago.
"Oh, that's it lady."
The leader said something this time, "Go, and run, quickly."
"Huh?" The guy that I slapped started to breath furiously, but no one tried to stop him. He pinned me down, like Edward used to do, but Jacob pulled him off and they started fighting.
"Take her back to Emily's place." The other two boys in the group helped me up and drove me through the woods to an old cabin. I was confused, but I went inside anyway.
"Hi, I'm Emily, nice to meet you."
"Yeah, you too." I wasn't sure if I should say anything, but I went ahead and gunned for it. "Um, they're all, um—"
"Rapists, yeah, but it doesn't bother me."
"Oh, does that mean they, you know?"
"Rape me? Yep, almost every night."
Just then the leader, Jacob, and the other guy drove up in a car and walked in. "Sorry about earlier." said the guy who tackled me.
"Come on Bella, let's go." I left with Jacob and he took me somewhere in the middle of nowhere.
"So… you're a rapist, huh?" I looked over at him, this wasn't the first time I had found out someone close to me was a rapist.
"Yeah, funny, right? Um, well, not that funny really."
"You really shouldn't rape people."
"Oh, so now you're a hypocrite! I know about you and Edward! And I know that he's a rapist too! Besides it not like we rape just anybody, we only rape other rapists."
"Does that mean…?"
"No, we haven't touched your precious little Edward, not yet anyway…" He finished, whispering.
"Anyway, you can't rape rapists, they'll rape you first."
"Oh really, then how did you think I knew about your grey hair? Last month, you never woke up."
"Last month, that was my birthday! Ewww, that's nasty, I can't believe you."
"I don't know what to say, I have to practice somehow and practicing with the guys just isn't enough sometimes."
"Whatever, good bye! And DON'T follow me!" I left and went home feeling thoroughly disgusted. When I walked inside I ended up being jumped by Alice.
"Bella, long time no see! Wait, why aren't you wearing any underwear?"
"You're not a rapist too, are you? I think I've had enough of rapists for one day."
"No silly, it's just a stripper thing, don't worry about it."
"What are you doing here Alice?"
"It's about Edward, he's doing something stupid."
"Well, that's a surprise." Jacob said as he walked in from the kitchen.
"Jacob, I thought I told you not to follow me."
"Well, I'm glad I did, who knows what this witch would of done to you."
"Hey, I'm not a witch. Witches and prostitutes are two completely different things. Anyway you should speak for yourself, you rapist."
"You knew he was a rapist."
"This is completely off the point, Edward's trying to get himself killed."
"Good, that's just one less rapist I have to deal with."
"I thought you said you wouldn't touch him."
"Umm, uhh, well…"
"Bella we have to leave, now. Edward's in Italy."
"Italy, why would he go to Italy just to kill himself? I bet he's looking for some tramps to rape one last time. Ugh, let's go, I'll teach him a lesson myself."
When we got to Italy, I had some time to talk to Alice. "So, what exactly is he doing here?"
"He's going to the Rapist Guild, an elite organization of rapists. They're a very secretive group with a very special body glitter recipe, Edward's going to try and reveal it to the public and once the guild catches wind of his plan, they'll kill him on the spot. He'll probably do it at noon, when the sun's at its highest."
The rest of the ride was a racing track to where Edward was, apparently Alice knew a great deal about this 'Rapist Guild' I started to have my suspicions about how.
We made it to the town thanks to Alice's crazy driving skills and I instantly jumped out of the car running in the direction Alice told me to. I ran and ran until I saw a large building; at the top it had the title, 'Clothing Optional.' Argh, stupid Alice, wrong directions.
As I turned away, the door to the building opened up and Edward was standing there, shirtless, showing off his horribly askew nipple. No, really, it looked like pig tried to nurse off of it and failed so it tried harder. But anyway and stopped where I was and ran to him screaming, "No, Edward!!!"
"Bella?" He looked up only to see me half tackle him into the building's entrance.
"Like I'd let my spadarkable muffin get himself killed."
"I'm sorry Bella. I didn't know what I was thinking."
"I think I do." I girl in a hood walked down the hall and greeted us. "You wanted yourself dead because you couldn't live with the guilt of raping others. And now for your disloyalty, the master will see you."
She guided us through the empty stripper building into a secret chamber. There were three menacing looking men perched onto of royal-looking thrones. "Edward Cullen, what a pleasure to see you. Unfortunately, we won't be needing your services anymore, or your friends for that matter. Rape and kill them, slowly."
Two men and the girl from earlier catapulted toward us with a lustful glare in their eyes. Edward and Alice fended them off for a while, but it was futile in the end. They were both pinned down and I was next.
"Stop it now, please! Take me and leave the others alone, please!"
"Wow, you would protect him, a lonely rapist." The master said at his throne.
"He's not a lonely rapist, he has me."
"Well, I'm afraid there's nothing we can do. Well, except maybe… no I couldn't possibly."
"What, I'll do anything."
"Join us, become a fellow rapist and I will set you all free. It's as easy as that, what do you say?"
"She will, I'll make sure of it, no questions." Alice blurted out, now standing up with Edward next to her. "Edward will help, we all will."
"Delightful, I'll be looking forward to our new member. Now, run along, we have some business to attend to."
We all left together, with none of the goons following us, which I could see. On the plane ride home I called Jacob and told him to meet us somewhere, he had to know what was going to happen.
Jacob met us in the woods where I told him to meet us and we started talking. "Jacob, something's happened."
"What, what's happened? Don't tell me it has something to do with him."
"Please, just calm down. I've decided to become a rapist, like you and Edward."
"No, you can't, if you rape someone, I can't promise that I won't do something about it. And I definitely can't protect you from anyone in my pack."
"Well, what if it's my choice."
"No, I won't let you be one of them Bella."
"It's not your choice Jacob. This was a bad idea, I just thought that you should know, bye." Edward and I left quickly, leaving Jacob behind, I didn't want to even look at him right now.
As we left Edward said one thing to me and nothing else the rest of the day, "Bella, will you marry me?"
A/N I know the last sentence kinda contradicts the ending in my first story, but I had to put it in, so for the purpose of the story line just forget about the ending from the first story. I hope you liked it and Eclipse should be coming out of DVD soon, so I'll be making another story for it soon, so please favorite this and review!