Author Notes: …..so many conflicting emotions! Thanks for coming back for more!
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Chapter 08 – The Long Goodbyes
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The burial was a beautiful moving service. What had begun as a dark cloudy day changed in to a bright blue sky filled with cotton white clouds. Large sprays of flowers were standing on colored easels and surrounded the tarp-covered guest area. Friends and families sat in white plastic chairs under the tarp while fabric clothed seats were reserved graveside for Bob and Midge.
Pastor Dave stood at the pulpit and welcomed all the mourners with a sad smile. "Our most loving and gracious Father…we come to you on this day to draw strength from your love and compassion. Please show mercy to the Pinciotti family as their precious daughter, Donna Marie is returned to you." The eulogy continued as Bob sobbed aloud. Red gripped his friends' shoulder with a strong hand, secretly relieved it wasn't his own daughter that had died so tragically.
When Pastor Dave paused for a prayer of reflection, Mrs. Dubois, a sweet young woman from the Ladies of Point Place community sang an abbreviated version of Amazing Grace. There wasn't a dry eye in the crowd of over 300 well wishers. Pastor Dave thanked Mrs. Dubois and waited for her to resume her seat.
Eric was watching a flock of white birds that spiraled and swooped through the air. He heard the sermon but his mind was thinking about how free Donna was now. She would love that all her coworkers came to pay their respects. Midge showed up – Donna would have liked that. Randy still hovered in the background and that was pissing him off. This was Donna's day. Her friends and family were all dressed up and crying for her. She would have been embarrassed but touched at the same time. She was so strong and died trying to save her life. That was his Donna – champion until the very end.
"…we humble ourselves before you with confidence that you always hear and answer our prayers….We will sorely miss Donna Pinciotti's companionship, her smile and her friendship. She will live on in our hearts and we thank you, Lord, for all the memories we shall carry for the rest of our lives. We ask that you comfort Bob and Midge in their time of grief. Let us remember that it is your will for us to live and thusly we commit this body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust…."
Steven looked at the flower draped coffin and wanted to shout at all the faces that were here just for show. The schmoozers that wanted to be caught on film leaving the service - the old high school people that could give two shits about his friend. It seemed like the whole town was here because a murder in Point Place was rare and exciting!
Hyde could feel his leg tapping nervously, he'd go to the reception, say something nice to Bob and Midge and hopefully Jackie could find her way home. All this death made him want to be back in Milwaukee with WB and Sam. Then of course he would felt guilty for dumping Jackie who was struggling with her own grief. God, what a shit boyfriend he was!
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The Pinciotti home was overflowing with casseroles, baked desserts, flowers and balloons. Polite conversations were made in small groups of three linking one person to another group as the mourners moved around the room. Bob sat in his armchair looking at a picture Donna had taken last month when she attended one of his sales conferences. She had her soft red hair wrapped in a scarf and an arm slung around her dad's shoulder. Bob touched the pane of glass wishing he could relive that day and tell Donna how much her daddy loved her.
Hyde left Jackie talking with Red and Kitty while he made his way to see the remaining Pinciotti family. "Hey Bob. Midge…I just wanted to say that it was a nice service and one that Donna would have appreciated." He felt so awkward making condolences to a family he knew so intimately. Could they see how fake he felt? This was Donna dammit!
Midge smiled sadly, "Thank you Steven. Our little girl may be in heaven but she's still in our hearts. She would be glad that you came. Please don't be a stranger." Hyde kissed Midge on the cheek and gave Bob a firm handshake. "I have some people to see Bob. I'll check back with you later."
"Sure Steven. Thanks for coming by." Bob said numbly
-o-
Eric looked up from where he was talking with Fez, Kelso and Brooke to see Hyde take off. He noticed that Jackie was still with his folks and once again, Hyde left Jackie behind. Once an ass - always an ass. "Excuse me guys, I'm gonna see my folks." He crossed the room and touched Jackie on the shoulder.
"Hey!" she smiled albeit sadly. "Did you see those beautiful birds? It was like they were dancing for Donna." Jackie grabbed his arm and pulled him over to the window where they could talk without appearing obvious.
Eric replied, "Yeah….she would have pointed and said, "What the hell?" and just enjoyed the show."
"Wait, is that Steven leaving again?"
Eric grimaced, "He didn't tell you he was going?"
"No! I don't have a house key. I left my purse at home. I can't believe he did this to me again."
Eric wanted to give Jackie a comforting hug but his own emotional state was on a razors edge at the moment. He just wished everything was back to ordinary and he could go to work and just be normal like it was last week – a few days ago when he was deliriously happy.
Jackie closed her eyes, "I haven't told Steven."
"What?" Eric asked dumbly.
"Eric! Our baby?. No one knows about the baby. I already can't button some of pants. You were right when you said that people are going to notice."
His baby. That made Eric smile. He lost one life but gained another. Maybe Donna would watch out for the baby until he or she was born. She could be a posthumous godmother. Eric stepped closer and slipped a hand between his body and Jackie's to touch her stomach. "Is everything alright?"
"Yeah…I don't think all this sadness works good with my hormones. I'm already emotional and am I crying because of the baby or crying for Donna? It's making me a bit crazy."
"I think you're handling this pretty good. Do you want to spend the night at my apartment? I'd rather not be alone."
She chided gently, "Eric…do you think that's wise?"
He blushed, "I'm not talking about sleeping together. I'll never sleep in that bed again now that I know Randy's been in it. I've been sleeping on the sofa. You can have that if you want and I'll sleep on the floor."
Jackie dared to touch his cheek. "I'm so sorry Eric. I know that you loved her and you can't erase her memory. She's a big part of who you are and that's a good thing. You can tell the baby all about Aunt Donna and our child will have its own guardian angel."
Suddenly, Eric didn't care if Kelso or Fez or even his parents saw. He gathered Jackie in his arms and buried his face in her hair. "Jackie, I love you too. I'm so confused. How do I say goodbye when I'm surrounded by her? How do I love you when Steven won't let you go?"
Jackie patted his back. "We'll work through it - just like I need to know who Steven's sleeping with. I need to find out who he loves more than me."
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Red followed Kitty into the kitchen carrying armloads of dirty dishes. Eric invited Jackie to tag along and he would get the guest room secured for her. "Mom? Jackie missed her ride home."
Kitty turned, "Steven left?"
Jackie sighed, "Not for the first time. Could I sleep in your guest room tonight? He's probably upset about the funeral and went somewhere. I can call him in the morning." Why am I making excuses for him?
"Oh sure honey, have Eric get you some clean linens. Red is going to help me clean up and we'll all call it a night. What a beautiful service." Kitty wiped her eyes again. "Poor Bob. All I could think about was what if that was my Laurie in the box? It's sad when a parent dies before their child."
Jackie's hand automatically went to her tummy. "I understand." Kitty frowned at that gesture and just figured she was tired. "Okay, up you go dear."
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Eric helped strip the daybed of the old sheets and put on the clean ones. "So what are you going to do about your apartment?" Jackie asked slipping off her shoes.
Eric sat at the side of the bed. "I'm getting the extra key from Randy first off. Then…I guess I'll look for something new. I think I'll let Midge go through Donna's stuff so she can keep whatever she wants."
"God, that's gotta be hard for her. Where did they find Mrs. Pinciotti?"
"She was living with her sister in Malibu. Dad called her and she jumped on the first flight back."
Jackie plumped a pillow. "Did you see Bob? I think he still loves her. That is romantic." Jackie sat down next to Eric. "Eric, I know this is hard for you too. You loved Donna. I mean love her and you're in love with me. I'm not asking you to put aside your feelings for her but please don't throw me out with the wash. I've still got this thing with Steven and I'm going to need your support."
Eric pulled Jackie into a hug and the warmth from her body warmed his chilled soul. "I do love you Jackie. I feel like I've known you forever and now we're going to be parents….I would never push you aside. I promise."
She pulled back and smiled. "Okay, let's tell your parents in the morning. I have work on Monday and I want your dad to be fine with this." Eric kissed her forehead and then her eyes. She touched his face and his lips until they were kissing earnestly, their feelings were naked and raw and they were alive! Being held by each other seemed to negate some of the awfulness of the day. Eric whispered against her temple. "I love you Jackie. Good night."
Jackie watched Eric closed the door behind him and she breathed steadily, trying to say calm but there was a sob building in her throat. She could feel Eric's pain because she lost a childhood friend. Eric was going to forget about Jackie Burkhart and the baby!
In his grief, Eric Forman's heart was going to break. Jackie needed to be there for him and Steven just needed to understand.
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