Author Note: …. A little interlude….if you will...

T7S

Chapter 09 – Without Her

Steven

Steven went back to the condo and packed a bag. He noticed Jackie's purse sitting on the table by the door. Crap. She was locked out again. The best he could do was leave a message with Bob telling Jackie her house key was under the little frog statue by the door.

He reached for the bag and in his haste, it toppled over and the contents spilled on the floor. He blew an exasperated breath and shoved everything back in but found a business card. Dr. Gayle Osfeld, Women's Medicine. Hyde sat back on his heels. Why the hell was Jackie visiting her ladies doctor? It wasn't like she was having sex with him….or was it something else? What was this about? On the back of the card was a 3:00 appointment scheduled for the same day Donna was murdered. Jackie was having a pap smear while her girlfriend was being killed? Yeah and I was having spectacular sex with Sam at the same time!

Still, he left a light on, grabbed his bag and locked the door behind him. Donna's death shook him to the core. One day she's Hot Donna and she playing artists that he and WB signed and the next his newest discovery brings a fucking gun into a radio station. WB is going to be more than pissed but the lawyers will find a way to make WB Productions look innocent in all this. Thank God for WB and Angie. And Samantha. The tall blonde knew how to take care of him and did not bring all the drama that Jackie did.

Jackie. He loved her – he really did but in some kind of circular seasonal kind of thing, she kept bringing up marriage and families and he'd tamp down the discussion only have it pop up months later. After four years it was getting old and he was tired of it.

Hyde unlocked his El Camino and looked at the bright sky. "Donna…if you're up there….I miss talking to you. Fuck. I don't know what I'm going to do without you." He fired up the car and drove straight to Milwaukee.

Eric

Eric unlocked his apartment door and Midge stood in the doorway unmoving. Brooke was right behind the older woman and gave her a gentle nudge. "Let's do this Mrs. Pinciotti. I'm sure there are things Donna would want you to have."

Eric could have hugged Brooke for being so level headed. Just being in the apartment for the first time in days seemed so weird – it was like he expected Donna to come dashing out of the bathroom and run for the coffee pot. As he wandered into the bedroom, he could smell her perfume and was overwhelmed with sadness. Eric sat on Donna's side of the bed and picked up her pillow and held it to his face so he could smell her hair.

There was a note beside the table lamp – Remind Eric to pick up the dry cleaning on Thursday. He never picked it up! Donna's presence filled the room and he had to move to the living room. Brooke was boxing up everything she could tell belonged to Donna. "We've decided to donate the clothing to Pastor Dave's church." She touched his shoulder. "Honey, can you go through the bathroom and get out your stuff?"

Eric nodded. He had spoke to his parents and decided to move back home until he found a new apartment. Red was very accepting and Eric could live there without the ghost of Donna around every corner. "Sure." He opened the bathroom and all the smells of her soaps and shampoos assailed his senses. He grabbed the waste basket and started putting in his shaving creams and toothbrush being so very careful not to disturb Donna's things.

"Eric?" Midge asked in her soft voice. "Eric, honey what's wrong with this bottom drawer?"

Eric looked into the bedroom. "Oh, just give it a whack on the bottom right. It gets stuck. Donna keeps her girlie stuff in there." Midge hit the drawer with her fist and it slid wide open. "Wow, that worked." Eric smiled and carried his bathroom stuff to the door.

Brooke was packing pictures and wrapping the glassed frames in newspaper. "Honey, it may be painful to look at these now, but you'll want to see them later."

Midge's voice called out. "Eric? Is your middle name Randy?"

Eric blinked. "What?" He and Brooke moved to the bedroom door where Midge held up a package of ribbon wrapped letters. "These are love letters from Randy. Eric, I didn't know you were so romantic!"

Brooke frowned. This was not good! She whispered, "Did you know about this?" Eric shook his hand and accepted the package of envelopes from Midge. Brooke sat with him on the sofa as he opened the most recent letter.

Donna

I don't know how much longer we can hide this. I love you so much baby. I bought the ring….I just haven't decided how to propose to you.

Remember when you told me that you were going to tell him about us? I think we should do it just in a couple of weeks. I've got tickets to California – I can finally meet your mom.

I love you so much and I know you love me too otherwise this wouldn't be so painful. I hate knowing that he's holding you in his arms while you're dreaming about me.

Love forever

Randy

Eric dropped the letter on his way to the bathroom where he promptly lost his lunch in the toilet. He vomited until there were was nothing left. Soft hands pressed a cool washcloth to his face. "C'mon honey, this is a shock. Wash your face and come back in the living room." Brooke's hand helped him stand as he wiped his lips . He rinsed out mouth with water from the tap.

Eric remembered what Randy had said the night he punched him. The day Donna was killed. "…I'm sorry man. I know she was living with you but she was in love with me…."

How was he supposed to say goodbye to someone who was planning on leaving him but died instead? Donna, if you're up there…you really burned me good on your way out!

Jackie

The nice thing about owning your own business was that you could set your own hours. After a hearty Forman breakfast, Jackie went next door to check on Bob. He was drained and still as white as a sheet but had a big hug for the young woman. "Honey, Steven left a message. He said the frog has the key."

Jackie knew he never went back to the condo. In her gut she just knew he was in the arms of that other woman. "Thanks Bob. I think I should go home and change. I wanted to tell you that it was a lovely service and I think Donna would have loved it."

Bob wiped his eyes. "It was nice wasn't it? I mean the sun came out and the birds were singing. I didn't know my pumpkin had so many friends. Even Randy showed up."

Jackie wondered about that. "I didn't know he was still in love with Donna."

Bob blew his nose in a tissue and nodded his head. "Oh yeah, Randy used to come by here all the time and asked me not to say anything to Red or Kitty but he never got over my pumpkin. He was going to propose to her. I suppose I should have been upset, but Donna and Eric hadn't been getting along all that good. Look at me I'm babbling!"

"You're not babbling. You're talking about your daughter and that's healthy. Where's Mrs. Pinciotti?"

"Brooke and Eric took her to the apartment to get Donna's things." Jackie fell on the sofa as she realized how painful that must be for Eric. Everything in that place would be a painful reminder of Donna's death. "This is so sad." Jackie whispered.

There was rap at the front door and a smiling brown face popped in. "Bob. I bring candy."

Bob held out his arm. "Oh Fez…you were Donna's favorite closet person. Don't think I didn't know you were hiding in there son."

Fez hugged Bob and cried on his shoulder. "I shall miss Donna so much. She was a good friend and I don't know what to do without her. I turned on the radio and she wasn't there anymore."

Jackie realized she hadn't listened to the radio for the past week either. WFPP would never be the same without Hot Donna in the afternoon. She stood up, "Hey Bob….would it be okay if I just sat in Donna's room for a few minutes?"

"Sure kiddo, knock yourself out." Bob reached in Fez's candy bag for a handful of colored M & M's. Jackie smiled her thanks and walked up the stairs to the bedroom she slept in while she was a teenager.

The twin bed was still there and the posters had faded. The desk where Donna always did her homework looked just like she was finishing a paper. Jackie closed the door behind her and remembered some of the better times when they shared this small bedroom. Jackie chuckled as she recalled Fez hiding in the closet. She sat on the springy mattress – the kind that was okay for youngsters to sleep on but not grownups.

There was a framed picture on the side table of a dark haired Jackie Burkhart and a blonde Donna Pinciotti. Jackie picked it up. It was the makeover picture! Donna wanted to get rid of the red hair and Jackie dyed it "blonde with a new attitude." With the new hair color was Donna's new plans for the future. She was going to DJ full time and re-dedicate herself to feminism. Jackie chuckled as she recalled her friend saying that as a blonde she got free apple fritters from the bakery instead of a regular donut.

All those days were gone now. Jackie choked back a strangled sob. Her dead friend was cheating on Eric just like she was cheating on Steven. These were the times she was missing her best friend. "Oh Donna, why did you leave us so soon? I miss you like crazy! You were going to be my baby's godmother. Please forgive me." Jackie covered her face with her hands and just cried the tears she was holding in.

Kelso

"Michael…honey, you can't keep missing work. I know you lost your friend." Brooke said softly.

Kelso had tears in his eyes, "She was murdered! I didn't lose her. That punk band killed her and I – and I had to help secure the murder scene. I saw the blood all over the floor and I threw up in the trash." Kelso reached out and hugged his wife. "It was the most awful thing I've ever seen."

Brooke rocked her husband like she would do if their baby girl needed comforting. "Michael, there was nothing you could have done. She was already dead by the time the door was opened."

Kelso wiped his eyes. "But she looked at me as she was falling to the floor and I couldn't help her. I'll never forget the look in her eyes. We couldn't get the door open fast enough… I feel like I failed her."

Brooke set her husband back. "Michael Kelso. You are the strongest man I know. Recognize that at least you got to arrest the punk that did this to her."

"Well, Officer Aspen arrested him but I did get a good kick in there." Kelso said proudly. Brooke chuckled. "I'm proud of you. The best thing you can do is go back out there and prevent other people from getting killed. Find out where he got that gun and arrest somebody."

Kelso sat up and inhaled a calming breath. He looked to the ceiling. "Big Red. I'm going to make the world safe again so no one gets hurt the way you did. I'm sure gonna miss you Donna."

T7S

A/N: It's only fitting that each of the friends got to reflect and say goodbye.