Thanks again to everyone who reviewed. I loved reading all the feedback and I hope you enjoy this chapter. As always I will send out a preview of chapter 6, if you review this chapter. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

...

The silence that filled the room was heavy with unsaid emotion. It almost felt surreal but the truth couldn't be ignored. It hung in the air and Lily waited for James to say something.

Anything.

But it seemed like for once in his life James was too paralyzed with shock to speak. He stared at Lily, watching her tears glide down her beautiful face. He didn't know what to say and was scared to say the wrong thing. But he knew he just couldn't sit here.

"You're...you're pregnant?" James tried to ask without any emotion, because to be honest he didn't know what to feel. Half of his mind was in panic mode at the thought of a baby. The cost, the stigma of having a baby with a woman who wasn't his girlfriend. But the other half was elated. He had always wanted kids and he knew Lily would make a great mother. But he said none of this while he waited for her to speak.

Lily nodded. "Yes, I realized I was late today when I looked at my calendar, and I've been sick for the past week. The doctor just confirmed it."

James hesitated because he wasn't sure how to ask the next question without being offense. "And you think it's mine?" He figured it was, he remembered Lily once telling him that she wasn't sleeping with Alex on a regular basis, but all the same, if there was the slightest chance it wasn't his, he had to know.

Lily tried to not let the question sting her. She couldn't blame him entirely. She had started the affair with him while she still had a boyfriend.

But ever since the first night with James, awhile ago, she had stopped responding to Alex's advances. She hadn't been with Alex in months, something she knew wasn't part of a normal relationship but Lily had long since given up analyzing their relationship.

She took a deep breath. "Yes, it's yours. I haven't slept with Alex in a couple of months."

James averted her gaze and looked down at the floor. He tried to make sense of the jumbled mess that was his thoughts.

A baby. It was a huge step, a step even the most committed couples weren't even ready for. And he and Lily weren't in even a relationship.

"So what do we do?" James watched as Lily stood up from his bed and turned away from him.

"I'm not sure. This is all such a big mess. I just didn't think this would ever happen. I wanted kids, yeah, but later, when I was done with college and married." Lily tried to stop the flow of tears from erupting but found it was no use. They flowed freely and James went to her side, wrapping his arms around her. She buried her face in his shirt and he held her, waiting until she coherent enough to continue their conversation.

Once she was calmed down, James led her back to the bed and sat her down. He didn't know what they were going to do next and where they would go from here but he knew one thing definitely had to be done.

"We have to tell Alex."

Lily's head snapped up at James's words. She knew he was right but she felt fear rise into her throat at the thought of telling Alex.

"I can't tell him now. I don't know what to say."

James took a deep breath and tried to steady himself. He knew Lily was scared to tell Alex the truth but it just couldn't be avoided anymore.

"I'll be there when you tell him. Or not. Whatever you want. But you can't avoid this forever Lily. I think it's going to be pretty obvious that something's going on in a couple of months."

Lily nodded. "I know, I'll tell him. Just not tonight. Please." Her eyes begged him to go along with her and he felt himself agreeing with her.

She didn't need to tell him tonight, especially when she herself had just found out tonight.

But she would have to tell him, sooner rather than later.

Lily broke free of James's grasp and looked up at him. "But how do you feel about this? It's pretty much the last thing either one of us expected. I mean, I don't expect you to drop everything for me but I guess I just want to know what you think." She was terrified about his reaction.

James nodded. "You're right it is the last thing we expected. But it happened and not to sound cliché, but maybe everything does happen for a reason. I mean just think about it..." James smiled at the pictures forming in his head. "Half of you and half of me, that kid is going to be pretty feisty. And he or she will win the genetic lottery with parents like us." James smiled wider as Lily gave a half chuckle and half sob as she buried her head in his shirt again. The scent of his cologne calmed her and gave her new courage to speak again.

"So you want to keep it then?" She had been anxious that he would be less than understanding. After all, she had heard the stories from her friends who had gotten pregnant only to find the guy wanted nothing to do with them or the baby.

James broke free from Lily's embrace and looked down into her eyes. "Of course I want to keep it. Why wouldn't I?"

Lily gave a tiny sigh of relief. "I just wanted to make sure."

James shook his head at her in disbelief. "I've never been surer of anything in my life. I know we aren't together technically but everything will turn out okay. Trust me."

Any other fears Lily had were silenced when James bent down and kissed her with a passion so strong, she couldn't put a name to it.

...

Christmas had always been Lily's favorite holiday. Ever since she was a little girl, she dreamt of the day when stores were decorated with red and green and caroling filled the streets.

But this year there was a noticeable shift in Lily's demeanor. Alex had caught on right away that Lily was quieter this year, not as cheerful. But he didn't have any idea what had brought on this change. Lily was still sick every morning and on Christmas Eve, Alex confronted her.

"Lily, I really think it's time to go the doctor." Lily had never told me she had previously went for fear he would start asking questions.

"I'm fine Alex; I wish you would quit worrying." She and Alex were in the kitchen preparing some last minute dishes for the following day. Lily saw James look over at her from his place on the sofa, a slight frown etched on his face.

Lily still hadn't gathered up the courage to tell Alex, and with each passing day, James grew more restless. He knew Lily would have to do this on her own, in her own time, but it was slowing eating away at him. All the secrecy and the lies were stating to weigh down his conscience and he just wanted everything to finally be out in the open.

Lily shook her head slightly at James as if to say "Not now". She had gone over several scenarios in her head about the best time to tell Alex, and she had decided to tell him after Christmas.

Lily saw no reason to ruin his holiday.

When Lily and Alex finished making their preparations, Alex excused himself into their room, citing last minute gift wrapping as his reason.

The moment Alex left the room, James was instantly at Lily's side, concerned for her. She looked like she might pass out.

"Are you really okay Lily? You're kind of pale." He wrapped his arms around her briefly, inhaling her intoxicating scent.

Lily allowed herself to snuggle against him for a brief moment before pulling away. "Yeah I'm okay. A little nauseous maybe, but that's probably because of all this food." She gestured the dishes lying around them.

James nodded. "Probably." He paused, not wanting to fight with her at the moment but he felt it would be best to ask her again.

"Have you decided when you're going to tell Alex?"

Lily winced at the looming prospect. "I'm going to tell him after Christmas, I didn't want to spring this on him right before. Not that there's ever a good time to tell your boyfriend that not only have you been cheating on him these past couple of months, but you're pregnant too." Tears started to prick at her eyes. "He going to hate me." she whispered.

James reached out to pull her into another hug. "No, he's not going to hate you, he's going to be really angry, furious even, but I don't think he could ever hate you. You're only human, you're allowed to make mistakes."

Lily bit her lip. "This is a pretty big mistake."

James shrugged in response. "Depends on how you look at it I guess. It doesn't feel like a mistake to me." He smiled at her, hoping to cheer her up. James saw the corner of her lips perk up.

Lily gave a tiny sigh of relief. "I think I'm just going to finish cleaning up in here." Lily liked to keep herself distracted; it kept her mind off the inevitable.

James backed off, sensing she needed her space. "Okay, I'll be in my room if you need me."

As Lily watched James's retreating back, she thought to herself, "I need now more than ever."

...

Despite her fears of confronting Alex and the constant nausea that invaded her stomach, Lily awoke on Christmas feeling oddly content. She rolled over in bed and was surprised to see Alex was already gone.

When Lily finally her way out into the living room, the scene that greeted her, surprised her immensely. Both James and Alex were sitting in the living room, both apparently watching a Christmas day parade on the television. Both men looked up at her when they heard her enter into the room. Lily gave James a quick questioning glance but he simply shrugged his shoulders at her.

Alex got up from his place on the sofa and kissed Lily lightly. "Merry Christmas Lils. We were wondering when you were going to get up. You don't usually sleep this late. Especially on Christmas." Alex gave her a quick wink, and led her over to the sofa. Out of the corner of her eye, Lily saw James stiffen but he remained silent.

Once Lily was seated, Alex handed her a gift. It was addressed from him and Lily was slightly hesitant to open it. But she put on a small smile and slowly undid the wrappings.

Inside was a pair of earrings Lily had had her eyes on for a couple of weeks. She smiled at his thoughtfulness, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you Alex, they're lovely." She handed him his gift, a pair of concert tickets she had bought weeks earlier to one of his favorite bands. She felt a pang of guilt when she realized Alex would have no one to go with.

Alex was ecstatic about the tickets, smiling happily at her.

James watched the gift exchange between the two of them and wondered if Lily would object to him giving her a gift now.

James got up from his place on the sofa and went over to Lily who was sitting quietly next to Alex. "I saw this the other day and I thought you might like it." Lily's eyes went wide as James handed her a small box covered with emerald green wrapping. James ignored the question in her eyes and waited for her to unwrap it.

Lily glanced sideways at Alex who thought nothing of James giving Lily a gift.

With her hands slightly shaking, Lily lifted the lid of the box and took out the object inside. It was a gold bracelet with a bright stone in the middle. But on the other side there were blank spots were it looked like other stones should have been. Lily looked up questioningly at James, who gave her a slight smile.

"The stone in the middle is your birthstone." Lily nodded as the realization hit her. "The spaces on the sides are for other birthstones for when you have children. You can put their birthstones next to yours." James trailed off, watching as Lily's eyes filled with tears. But unbeknownst to him they were happy tears. Lily tried to formulate a sentence in her mind but she was too overcome with emotion to say anything. She did, however, to get out a thank you.

"It's beautiful James, thank you so much." She wanted to say more, but not with Alex sitting right next to her, smiling obliviously. Lily slipped the bracelet onto her wrist and found it fit perfectly.

At that moment, Lily heard Alex's phone go off in their bedroom and Alex went to answer it. Lily was still staring at the bracelet on her arms, her heart a mix of emotions. James watched her for a moment before sitting next to her.

"You never told me whether or not you want me to be there when you tell Alex." James watched Lily's face for an answer but she continued gazing at the bracelet, her fingers tracing over the birthstone and the spots next to it. She looked up when she realized James was staring at her.

Lily shook her head. "No, I've got to do this myself. I got myself into this situation and now I've got to get myself out."

James disagreed. "You didn't do it by yourself. I was a big part of it."

"True, but telling Alex is my responsibility and I just want to tell him myself without any distractions around."

James lips curled up into a reluctant smile. "So now I'm a distraction?"

Lily laughed softly. "Yes you are. You have been since the day you moved in."

James still wasn't ready to give in. "Are you sure Lily? I don't care to be there when you tell him. I think I should take some responsibility too."

Lily looked at him sadly. "No, it's okay James. Really. This is something I have to do on my own."

James opened his mouth to argue his point some more when Alex stepped back into the room.

"Who was that Alex?" Lily asked, wanting to change the tense atmosphere in the room. Alex sat back down on the sofa next to Lily, stuffing his phone back into his pocket.

"It was just my mom, wishing me a Merry Christmas. She and Dad are visiting my sister's family this year."

Lily nodded absentmindedly, wondering when the best time to tell the Alex the truth would be when suddenly James stood up from his place on the sofa.

"Well I'm going to go visit a couple of my friends and see what they are up too. If I know them, probably nothing." James gave a light laugh before turning to Lily briefly giving her a knowing look.

Lily felt her stomach twist in knots, knowing James was giving her some alone time with Alex and she wondered if she was brave enough to face him.

A couple of minutes later, Lily saw James head towards the door. He stopped by her quickly and under the pretense of a hug whispered in her ear. "I'll be at the cafe." And with that James strode away from her and slammed the door behind him. It took everything Lily had not to run out after him. With a heavy heart, she headed back into the living room, ready to face her deamons. Alex was waiting for her on the sofa.

Lily felt her heart race when Alex put his arms around her, as they both sat on the sofa. She knew it was now or never and as broke free from Alex's embrace, she braced herself for the worst.

"Alex, we need to talk."

...

James really wasn't in the mood to visit his friends. Instead he sat at the cafe he and Lily had once dined in and sat there letting his coffee grow cold. His stomach insisted on doing flip flops while he waited anxiously to return home. He would have liked to have been there for Lily while she told Alex, but he respected her decision.

He thought of the future and of the baby he and Lily would raise. He wondered briefly who it would look like, if it would be a he or she, and if they would have their mother's temper. James chuckled at the thought and found himself only really wanting one thing.

For the baby to have Lily's eyes. Those were the eyes he had been taken with since the very beginning.

James looked down at his watch. He had only been gone fifteen minutes but it already felt like an eternity as he sat there.

All in all, this was definitely one of his more unconventional Christmas's.

...

"You slept with him?" Alex had never felt more enraged in his entire life. Little by little he felt as if his was breaking into a million pieces. The woman he had loved so desperately for the past three years was sitting before him now, sobbing, telling him of her infidelity.

"I know what I did was wrong Alex. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry." Lily knew her tears were muffling her apology but she couldn't stop the tears once they had started.

Alex buried his head into his hands trying to make sense of it. But he felt his own tears well up and he brushed them away impatiently. More than anything he wanted answers. Maybe that would make him feel better. Alex stood from the sofa and started pacing the living room, composing questions in his head,

"When was the first time?" Alex could feel the anger building in his chest, and as he looked down at the young woman below him, he felt his compassion vanish. He wanted her to hurt just as bad as he was feeling in that moment.

Lily looked up at him. "Please don't do this Alex. The details don't matter."

Alex stopped in his tracks and glared at her. "They do to me. When was the first time?"

Lily winced, knowing her answer would bring him more pain. "On my birthday."

Alex let the information sink in before he spoke."On your birthday? So let me get this straight, I'm sitting in the emergency room with my terrified mother and you're at home getting into bed with James the second I'm gone? I thought you had more pride than that Lily." Alex shook his head in disgust.

Lily felt her defenses go up. "I didn't know you were at the hospital. You didn't call me and-"

"I couldn't call you Lily! My fucking phone was dead. And even if that was the case, and you slept with James that one time, that would be one thing. But what's your excuse for all the other times I was gone? You knew where I was then. Did you two have a nice laugh behind my back?"

Lily shook her head feeling thoroughly disgusted with herself. "I know what I did was wrong. I'm not trying to deny it. I just thought I should tell you the truth now."

Alex rubbed his head, feeling a headache coming on. "Well that makes for one lousy Christmas gift Lily. Merry Christmas, and oh by the way, I had an affair with our roommate and destroyed three years of a wonderful relationship." Alex felt more tears well up in his eyes and found he couldn't be around Lily at that moment.

Lily stood frozen in her spot on the spot, unsure of what to do. She didn't know what to say. She was about to stand when Alex turned back to her, his eyes blazing with a fiery anger Lily had never before witnessed.

"Get out." Alex felt like he was reaching a breaking point and he couldn't bear to be in the same room with Lily anymore.

"Alex, I know you're upset but listen I-"

But Alex didn't want to hear anymore lies or excuses. He needed for her to leave. "I said get out. I can't look at you right now."

When Lily made no attempt to get off the sofa, Alex strode over to her, placing his hand on her upper arm and pulling her up with strength Lily had never known.

"Leave now." Alex gave her a slight shove towards the door, throwing her jacket after her. Lily stumbled out of the front door, too shocked for words and turned around briefly to see Alex slam the door in her face,

Lily stood there, a fresh batch of tears pouring down her cheeks. She reached into her pocket to call James when she realized her phone was still in the apartment. All she had as fished around in her pocket were her car keys. She stared at the keys for a moment before deciding to go to cafe around the corner.

Lily sat in her car for a minute while she attempted to calm herself down. She realized that she had never even told Alex she was pregnant. But, she thought to herself that might have been for the best. Alex seemed too traumatized for the moment by her confession of infidelity. Lily couldn't even imagine what he would have said if she had told him she was pregnant.

Lily was lost in thought as she attempted to navigate on the icy roads on her way to the cafe. Her eyes became half blinded with tears as her thoughts swirled around Alex and James and she crossed the intersection while sobbing.

Her vision was so obscured she never even seen the truck barreling down the adjacent street. A moment too late, Lily saw the truck spinning out of control and she attempted to maneuver out the way, but the driver of the truck lost complete control slamming straight into Lily's side door.

Lily felt her car roll onto its side and her hand flew to her stomach as one thought occupied her mind. "My baby."

And the next thing Lily knew was darkness.

...

I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I do have the story mapped out in my head and I can't wait to share it with you. I know it's another cliffhanger, but if you leave me a review I'll send a nice preview of chapter 6 your way!