Shinji and Asuka sprinted up to the door of Misato's apartment, panting and clutching their sides. Asuka tried the knob; it was unlocked, and she pulled Shinji by the hand to the kitchen, bumping into Pen-Pen on the way. Inside, an agitated Misato stood with her hands on her hips.

"Where the hell have you two been all night?"

"No-nowhere, Misato," Shinji stuttered out, looking away.

"We definitely didn't dig up any graves," Asuka added helpfully.

Misato eyed the pair seriously, then her expression changed to something neither of the children could quite read. "You...two were at a love hotel, weren't you?"

Asuka's screams were audible throughout the entire housing complex.

"Oh God. Please, at least tell me you used protection."

"NO! I'd rather have sex with Pen-Pen than stupid, lame, idiot Shinji!" she finally sputtered out. Shinji looked away, keeping his eyes trained on Pen-Pen, who warked indignantly before retiring to his cooler.

Misato stared at her distrustfully. "If you didn't use protection, you'd better tell me now...I mean, Ritsuko does do late-term abortions, but still..."

Red-faced, Asuka glared at her alcoholic commanding officer. "Misato, this isn't funny. The idiot and I would never do something like that! Isn't that right, Third?"

Shinji swallowed his intended response, instead only managing to mumble out "W..well, I m-mean, uh.."

Asuka gave Shinji a look that promised death by various ornate medieval methods.

"I mean...no, of course not, never. I hate Asuka," sighed Shinji as his roommate nodded happily.

Misato blinked twice at this display before collapsing back into her chair, laughing. "Sorry, kids. For a second there I really thought you two had done something irreversible last night."

Shinji and Asuka looked at each other in mild disbelief.

"You two really should wash up, you know. You look like you've been rolling around in the dirt."

"But Misato, we don't have time for stupid ordinary things like bathing! Not now! We're here for the next clue, and we know it's in your fridge!" Asuka said.

Misato sipped her beer with disinterest. "You're still on that contest thing? How much longer is this thing supposed to go on, anyway?"

"However long it takes!" Asuka declared. Holding up the post-it note proudly, she continued, "This here says the next clue is inside your refrigerator! Open it up, Shinji!"

Shinji did as told, as Misato shook her head in disbelief at her charges. Shinji and Asuka looked wide-eyed into the refrigerator, scanning it for any sign of a clue, anything that seemed off from the last time they had looked at it.

"Misato, did you notice anything weird in the fridge last night?" demanded Asuka.

"Nothing really, just-"

Shinji cut in, still looking closely at the fridge contents. "Wait, Misato...didn't there used to be a cake in here? Way in the back of the lower shelf?"

Misato's rancid, rock-hard graduation cake had been a permanent fixture of the Katsuragi household for the entire duration of Shinji's stay. He figured that Misato was around thirty; assuming that she graduated at the normal time, that would make the cake about eight years old, at the very least. The cake had probably been white at one point in the past; now it was a dull gray, and the little graduation hat on top made of frosting sagged morosely, waiting in vain for someone to end its misery.

Misato blinked. "Huh? You mean my graduation cake? Yeah, I finally threw it out, since Asuka was always complaining about it. I noticed one of you had started writing something about rhinoceroses in the frosting; I figured it was time."

"Writing? And y..you...threw it out." Asuka looked up from the fridge after making a frantic search. "You threw it out. You idiot! That must've been the clue!"

"There's just no pleasing some people," yawned Misato, reaching over Asuka's shoulder and extracting another beer from the fridge.

Asuka pulled open the trash can and stared down into it, about ready to rip her hair out after finding it almost entirely empty. "It's not in here either!"

"I took the trash out this morning," Misato said. "You might still be able to catch it before it gets picked up, though, if you really miss it that much."

"C'mon, Shinji, we're going dumpster diving," said Asuka resolutely.

Shinji groaned. "Do we have to?" he stammered, before having his hand grabbed by Asuka for the umpteenth time that day.

Asuka raced down the staircase, with Shinji flailing behind her like the streamers on a float. Panting heavily, they skidded around the corner just in time to see the dumpster's contents emptied out into the garbage truck.

Collapsing to the ground and breathing with difficulty, Asuka panted out a swear; it involved "God" and the act of reproduction in places Shinji had never heard them to be before.

Shinji leaned on a nearby wall for support, his whole body shaking. "W-we could..maybe we could still go after it."

Asuka shook her head in resignation. "No," she panted, "This is...we can't do this anymore. It's not worth it. Not for this."

Rei slipped on her school uniform and idly counted the dust motes swirling in the morning sunlight. So many motes were alike; so many were useless. As she navigated her way into a sock, she noticed a yellow stick note on her bedpost and surmised that the Commander had probably left it as a reminder to bathe. She peeled the note off the wall and stared at the childish scrawl written on it, frowning.

The note congratulated Ikari-kun and Second on having come thus far, and mentioned that an item called a "Mega Son". She vaguely recalled Second having mentioned this object the previous day and wondered if it was related to an ultra son, a concept she was more familiar with. Realizing that the Commander would not approve of such idle thoughts, she tossed the sticky note onto her wastepaper receptacle, which others insisted on calling the "floor."

Grabbing her backpack, Rei stepped out into the hallway and made her way out into the street, dodging the beer cans and needles that littered the complex. She walked along her typical route to school, determining that Josei Street had probably returned to its usual location by then.

Rei noticed a trail of small, white, puffy objects in her path. She had heard Ikari-kun and others refer to these objects as "popped corn." Commander Ikari had once read her a story in which such a trail led to a house made of candy; her studies had shown that this was apparently a desirable outcome. She decided to follow the trail, wherever it may lead.

"Hi kids." Misato shrugged, having received no enthusiastic response to her greeting as Shinji and Asuka dragged themselves to their respective rooms to pass out. "Bye kids."

Resting her chin on her arms and glancing over a beer can, Misato for the first time noticed the slow blink of the answering machine's message light. She picked herself up from her seat and walked over to the cabinet the machine was placed on, glancing at the number on its small display. Probably a telemarketer, she figured, or another of the irate Tokyo-3 citizens whose concerns about Nerv had been kindly forwarded to her by the Commander or Dr. Akagi. She pressed the playback button, and a small speaker clicked on with a tinny reproduction of a familiar voice.

"Katsuragi, it's me. I've probably put you through a lot of trouble by the time you're listening to this..."

The voice sounded pained. Misato's eyes widened. No.. He wouldn't...

"..I'm sorry. Tell Ritsuko I'm sorry too. Since I've troubled you so much anyway, could I ask you for one more favor? There's this flower I've been growing... please ask Shinji to water it for me. He'll know where it is..."

Shakily, Misato collapsed to her knees in front of the cabinet. She didn't care or notice as the apartment door opened behind her.

"..the truth is with you; don't hesitate. If I can see you again, I will say the words that I could not say eight years ago..."

"You idiot...you goddamned idiot," Misato cried, her shoulders heaving.

"Hey, Katsuragi!"

Misato jolted around to see Ryoji Kaji standing in the doorway, setting a box of Luigi's Delicious Pizza on the kitchen table. "Sorry I'm late. I got here as fast as I could."

Wide-eyed and with disbelief, she stood and made her way across the kitchen, collapsing into him and continuing to sob heavily as he put his arms around her.

"Pizza?"

The popcorn trail led into a dilapidated tenement building that smelled similarly to the inside of an LCL tank, and finally to a room numbered one hundred and fifteen. A dead cat lay in front of the door, and unamused-looking teenagers in leather jackets slouched against the far end of the wall. Through the walls, she could vaguely make out the muffled sounds of gruff voices speaking in dialects unfamiliar to her.

Rei Ayanami recognized the scene before her as a familiar one from books she had read on the dangers of human trafficking. Determining that she could be replaced if need be, she weighted the potential benefits and decided to knock on the door.

A man wearing a cheap suit and dark shades greeted her at the door, his lips downturned into a scowl. "What's da codeword?" he whispered, leaning in so closely that Rei could nearly taste his breath.

Codeword? Rei wondered, and briefly considered answering "popped corn" before noticing a stack of boxes inside the room, visible over the man's shoulder. She could only make out the largest text on them from the distance. This is the Mega Son?

"You are interested in the Mega Son, as well?" Rei suggested, hoping to establish a common bond with the keeper of the room's contents.

The greasy man shrugged irritably. "Are you dat Eva pilot girl who won da contest, or ain't ya?"

"I pilot Eva."

"Whatever. Just take it and leave."

The man roughly shoved one of the boxes into Rei's hands. Rei stared wide-eyed at him in bewilderment.

"How does one make use of a Mega Son?" she asked. "I have never desired children."

"What? You play games on it. Now get outta here before I sell your kidney," the man said, baring his teeth.

Although Rei knew her kidney was disposable, she determined that remaining with the man would not be a recommended course of action. Taking the box, Rei nodded and walked off without a word, returning to her apartment with it. She sat on her bed and opened the box, peering inside at its contents. Rei reached in and removed a small pamphlet; it was a set of instructions written in Esperanto, a language which she was fortunately quite fluent in after two years of intensive self-study.

Carefully following the written instructions to connect the Super Megason game console to the television set that had been given to her as a gift, the blue-haired girl took the flimsily-manufactured controller into her hands and pressed the power button, sitting on the floor and leaning against the edge of her bed, next to the half-eaten remains of Ikari-kun.

The screen read "600,000 in 1." Rei was skeptical that upwards of a half million games existed to begin with, let alone within the very machine she now possessed, but her curiosity was mildly piqued nonetheless by the prospect of such.

Scrolling through the list, Rei sampled several of the games, furrowing her brow in perplexity. She noted one particular game in which a plumber jumped on and crushed anthropomorphic mushrooms if the player pressed the appropriate buttons; Rei wondered what these gentle creatures had done to deserve such a cruel fate. There were several thousand iterations of this game, of which the only noticeable differences appeared to be the color scheme; although she found them all similarly puzzling, she found the magenta version to be far more enjoyable and edifying than the one which was turquoise.

Rei checked the manual for more moving picture entertainments. There was a game which required the use of a plastic gun located within the box, which she quickly extracted and attached to the television set. A pixelated duck appeared, and she pulled the trigger as was expected of her, watching as the duck collapsed.

Verifiably, the duck had been killed dead. Now made acutely aware of the world-altering power held within her hands, Rei cautiously pointed the controller at the cabinet next to her television and depressed the trigger button, but it appeared to have no effect. Rei frowned. This game had no real-world application, and therefore would likely not be approved of by the Commander. She laid the gun aside in disappointment.

"Ikari-kun, perhaps you would like to play?"

Rei stared at the bagel in anticipation, but it showed no response.

"I suppose not, then," she sighed after a moment, turning off the television and beginning to pack the Megason and its related parts back into its box. "Maybe Shinji would enjoy it."

After waking up, Asuka narrowly avoided an awkward encounter with Kaji while sneaking into the bathroom to wash off any remaining signs of the previous night's misadventure, before joining him and Misato in the kitchen for lunch.

Munching happily on a slice of pepperoni pizza, Asuka noticed her roommate exit his room and approach.

"You've still got dirt and guts or something on you, dorkface," she said, gesturing casually to point out the affected areas and laughing as he ran off to the shower.

"Guts?" said Kaji, smirking and raising an eyebrow. "What've you been doing to poor Shinji-kun?"

Misato shook her head, groaning. "You don't want to know. At this point, neither do I, even."

Asuka made a face. "You two always mollycoddle that pervert!" she said, trying not to imagine Shinji's nude form in the shower.

As the three were talking, laughing, and munching their pizza, the doorbell rang. Misato sprang to her feet and opened the door, feeling more amiable than ever now that her blood-alcohol level was nearing the threshold of lethality.

"Salutations," said Rei, carrying a large cardboard box.

"Hey there, Rei," said Misato, grinning. "What's up?" Misato ruffled Rei's hair playfully, causing Rei to blink in confusion. Kaji and Asuka strolled to the door, Asuka frowning slightly.

"Is Ikari-kun present?" said Rei. "I wish to speak to him."

"Hey Third, your girlfriend's here!" Asuka shouted irritably in the direction of the bathroom.

As if on cue, Shinji walked out of the bathroom in casual clothes, his hair still damp. "She's not my-hi Ayanami," he said with a blush, causing Asuka to roll her eyes.

"Ikari-kun, do you enjoy moving picture entertainments?" asked Rei, visibly uneasy at the prospect of being with so many people.

Moving picture entertainments? Does she mean that TV I gave her? "I.. sure, what..um.." He leaned in and whispered to Asuka uncertainly, "Do I like those?"

Asuka just narrowed her eyes and shook her head. "How should I know? She's probably trying to hit on you."

Sighing, Shinji informed Rei that, sure, he had always been a big fan of moving picture entertainments and was excitedly looking forward to their upcoming album.

Rei's face lit up, although her mouth remained as straight as always. "That is fortunate. I hope you enjoy this, Ikari-kun," she said, handing him the box.

Asuka frowned in the direction of the box. It must be her dirty lingerie or something. They're both so shameless. Hmph!

Able to read the lettering on the package for the first time, Shinji's eyes widened. "Wait, this is a.."

"First? How'd you get a Megason?" Asuka demanded. "You dirty cheat! Third and I were trying all day yesterday to get one of these and you didn't even tell us?" Probably got it on a special favor from Shinji's dad or something. He would.

Rei contemplated this. "I was given it in exchange for keeping my kidneys, I believe," she said. "After exhausting all entertainment possibilities of such games as Snoopy's Puzzle Palace, Snopey's Puerile Pandas, Sloopy's Puddle Piazza, and Snorky's Plasticine Prongpod, I have determined that you may take greater interest in it than I."

"Th..thanks, Ayanami." Huh. That was unexpected.

"Well don't just stand there staring at it, Third! Hook it up to the TV!"

"Yes, Asuka," Shinji said as he turned to carry the Megason into the living room.

"I'm going to kick your ass six ways to Sunday at Sloopy's Puddle Piazza!"

Fuyutsuki walked into his office to see a young man with sunglasses and a crew cut sitting with his feet propped up on his desk. The Commander had replaced him with someone who looked like he was barely out of high school. What disturbed Fuyutski most was that the boy had been given a chair, a privilege he himself had yet to earn in all his years working at Nerv.

"Hey mates!" the boy said into the intercom. "Subcommander DJ here. Tomorrow's silly hat day, so be sure to bring your beanies. 'Specially you, Maya my love. Ritsie-pie, too."

Fuyutsuki stared blankly at him, waving with his thumb in the direction of the door. "Get out of my office."

Shinji gripped the game controller, mashing buttons intently. "W-what? That's no fair, you didn't even hit me!"

"Then why are your organs all over the floor, Shinji?" Asuka happily sing-songed.

"That's not what I meant," he grumbled, earning nothing in response but an eyeroll.

"You know, I wouldn't have expected it, but Sloopy's Puddle Piazza is a surprisingly violent place," Shinji observed a few minutes later as Asuka's character strangled his to death with his own severed tongue.

Asuka nodded, adding, "It seems remarkably similar to that other game we played."

"I don't think it's really a fair fight, anyway...half the buttons on my controller are drawn on in crayon."

Asuka scoffed, poking him in the belly. "Like you need buttons, dorkwad."

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?"

Giggling, Asuka tackled Shinji to the floor, playfully punching him. "If you have to ask, you'll never find out!"

From the kitchen, Misato commented, "They're so cute when they're fighting."

Kaji raised an eyebrow. "Like us?"

Misato sipped her beer indignantly. "You wouldn't know cute if it bit you in the ass."

Kaji watched Shinji and Asuka enjoy their unconventionally-acquired prize. "There's probably a valuable lesson to be learned about teamwork and cooperation, somewhere in all this."

"'Don't get involved with the Chinese mafia'?" she suggested.

Kaji smirked at Misato. "That's kind of a punch-out moral, don't you think?"

"Whatever."

End of Episode 35: Mr. Lobster's Important Adventure. Next episode will have much more fanservice and answer all the mysteries of the Evangelion universe! Don't miss it!