So it all comes to a head in this chapter!

I just lay on my bed, tears falling without hesitation. I curled myself up and suddenly heard the sound of my phone signalling a text. It was Quinn.

'Hey S, so what did B say to you about that song?'

I didn't want to reply but decided to give her something. 'She said it was nice.'

My phone lit up almost immediately after. 'Is that all she said?'

I sniffled and I yelled out, I broke things in this blind fury mixed with sadness. "Yes Q, that's all she fucking said." I shouted out loud to myself as I threw my clock against the wall. It smashed and I sat down on my floor as I panted. My phone vibrated again. I wanted Brittany to come and just hold me for a while then I'd be fine. Then again the whole reason I'm not fine is because of her. I may be Santana motherfucking Lopez and love to refer to myself in the third person, but I get tired, I struggle. People have this image of me, the fiery tyrant who never goes down without a fight or an evil glare, that I've worked so hard for. Sometimes I want to drop the facade and just be Santana Lopez, that girl who's in love with Brittany, no extra attached. I would also like if Brittany stood up for me for or a change or even herself, but that will never happen. Quinn sent me yet another text.

I trudged downstairs as I calmed down somewhat, but before I left my room I grabbed a frame containing one of the best pictures of Brittany and I. I held it close to my chest as I walked to the kitchen. I set it down on one of the counter tops and looked fondly at it. "This has to happen; I'm doing it for Brittany. I repeated my mantra until I didn't I forgot I was saying it. I got into my Papi's tool shed and looked around. I decided that I had nowhere to run away to so that wasn't an option. I also decided it had to be reasonably quick, so pills were out of the question. I thought about a gun, but there was no way I was fucking up my hotness. Then there's the whole wrist cutting. N-O. That's far to emo. There was only one idea left. With that I picked the thickest rope I could find.

I hung it around the ceiling fan and made my best attempt at a noose. The YouTube video was way too hard to follow. I wrote letters, I wasn't sure why, I just felt it was apt; one to my parents, one to Quinn and one to Brittany. Writing the one to Brittany was one of the hardest things I had ever done. I cried solidly while the pen scribbled desperately. I had to put all my feeling on this one piece of paper, it was heart wrenching. I left the three letters on the table and got a chair.

This was it. I stood on the chair and tested out the noose's strength once more by pulling on it. I jumped down from the chair and grabbed my picture. I got up onto the chair once more and put the noose around my neck, the rope itched my skin. I wasn't like other people who wanted to eat their favourite meal or listen to their favourite song before they died, I just wanted to die, end of. I gripped the frame tightly and took one more look at her.

"I love you Brittany Susan Pierce; this was for you. I didn't want you to get hurt anymore, just be happy ok? I love you so fricking much." I said as tears streamed at the meaningful sentiment I put into the words as I spoke. I took one last breath.

I then kicked the chair from under my feet.

I dangled and struggled for a few moments before my consciousness started to fail me. I blinked rapidly, here it came, death. I could have sworn before I passed out from lack of oxygen I saw a figure.

I know its clichéd but my life did do a quick recap before I departed. I flicked over my childhood and my mother's harsh words. I watched Brittany, aged eight dance again, as if for the first time. I then saw her smile as I punched a guy who was harassing her. I looked on as Brittany aged ten dressed as a duck for Halloween and almost didn't make it out the door because she just wanted to look in the mirror. I observed her, aged fifteen as she stared at me with endearing eyes as she leaned in to kiss me. That was one of the best days of my life. I witnessed my sixteenth birthday party once more and that wonderful present Brittany gave me. I looked on as we walked through the hall pinkies linked, so in love. I sat in on our first date again and watched myself talk to those understanding couples. Brittany then reappeared singing to me so beautifully I wanted to ravish her, again. The final memory was of Brittany saying she loved me; I wasn't sure when I was but I didn't care. I loved her so much, she was my life... but I had to let her go.

I felt my feet hit solid ground.

"Santana?"

"Oh god." I groaned.

"Well yes but, do you know where you?" A mysterious voice echoed.

"Hell?"

"No, of course not... you're in heaven."

"I... what?"

"Would you like to sit down?"

I looked around the room, it was nothing but white. There were no doors, just a single average man sitting in a chair by himself.

"Dude if I'm in a mental institution I swear." I started.

"Santana why did you kill yourself?" he said calmly as I sat down in the chair beside him.

"I guess you know why. I did it for Brittany; I didn't want to hurt her anymore."

"You did everything for her." He began. "You were quite saint like to her and I commend you on your efforts."

"Yay me." I clapped sarcastically.

"Santana if I could grant you one request, what would it be?"

"Umm I really don't know." I said unsurely.

"May I pick something for you then?"

"It better be good..." I said as I crossed my arms.

I wasn't sure what the fuck was happening but I was weirdly calm even though I felt like I was on the biggest trip ever.

"I'm sending you back Santana, you have to much unfinished business."

"You cant... I'm dead?" I asked curiously.

"San... Santana... S!" The room echoed and faded away.

Soon my world span and my body shook. I opened my eyes to find Brittany shaking me and calling my name. Tears streaked her face and her eyes widened as she met my hazy stare. She crumpled on top of me and cried loudly.

"San... I... What... Santana..." She sniffled incoherently.

I just lay there. I didn't talk, I didn't hug back; I just lay silently on the kitchen floor. I couldn't cry or scream; just absolute and total silence. She finally composed herself somewhat and picked me up; she sat me in one of the chairs in the kitchen and took out her phone. She hit some buttons and held it up to ear still looking at me. She whispered into the phone and if I'm honest I wasn't really concentrating. I was so very tired all of a sudden. She sat down when she got off the phone and took hold of my hand. I know she was talking but I just wasn't listening.

Someone then began knocking at the door. Brittany shot up and ran out to answer it. She whispered hurriedly to our new addition to the situation. Brittany and Quinn then entered the kitchen. Quinn gasped as she saw the noose hanging idly from the ceiling fan. The two obviously upset blondes sat down either side of me. They each took one of my hands in their own, but I was numb and didn't return any emotion.

"B, can I speak with Santana for a minute? Alone." Quinn asked politely.

"I don't want to leave her." Brittany sobbed.

"I'm here with her Brittany, nothing's going to happen." To this Brittany nods and gives in. "Go lie down in the living room."

Brittany made for the exit and gave me once last glance.

"You didn't answer my texts S so I got worried... I told Brittany to go over and cuddle with you or something and to use her key because you probably wouldn't answer the door. Then she said that she found you..." Quinn left out some quiet sniffled. "You promised me Santana, you promised." She then began to sob heavier as I sat in my misty thoughts.

"Look Brittany's staying with you tonight, I can't because I have Beth, but please Santana don't do anything, just rest." She said almost to herself.

"Look at me... Look at me." She beseeched me.

I lifted my head slightly and met her tear filled eyes. They pleaded with me in complete silence.

"I promise." I rasped.

She hugged me tightly and said she had to talk to Brittany for moment. She stood and exited. I then followed her but stayed listening behind the door.

"What do I do Quinn?"

"Just hold her tonight, she needs to know your there for her. B, you need to be strong for her. It's difficult for her to struggle all the time with people wanting to fight her for respect. She needs your help sometimes. Look up that song she sung, I think it's probably on her laptop, just read through a couple of times. Look, I love you and Santana equally so you gotta work as a team."

"I try Q, but Santana doesn't let me fight and I hate calling people bad names."

"Well then leave Santana with the fighting but you've got to do the loving. You've got to make her feel on top of the world, so just keep doing what you're doing. But B, you can't expect S to be everywhere you are... sometimes you've got to stand up for yourself, you know?"

"Umm ok, will you help me?"

"Yea we'll work on it, just focus on Santana for now."

There were a couple of muffles as I retook my seat at the table. I was starting to feel things again. I felt definite love for both of them and I felt pain around my neck. I looked to the table and saw the letters. I grabbed all of them and stuffed them in my bag which sat resting on of the chairs. Brittany and Quinn returned. Quinn hugged and kissed me on the top of the head saying that she'd come by tomorrow but if I felt injured in any way that I should go to the hospital. Brittany escorted her out and then came back to sit beside me.

"Umm San..." she started. "Do you wanna go to bed?"

To that I simply nodded but didn't budge because at this stage I was completely fatigued. She wrapped one arm around my legs and one around my back and in one movement she lifted me and walked me upstairs. She laid me down on my bed and neither of us changed; she just clambered in the other side and covered me in the duvet.

Her arms enveloped me and I felt safe.

Continue? Do you want to see how it pans out? Want to see their future together? Or just finish? Please review!