Chapter Six
"God, I missed this!" Dan exclaimed as he leant back on the chair. "Mrs. Belden's cooking is the best in the New York State... At least! Yes, yes, I admit it. It's even better than Mr. Maypenny's stew!"
"Well, that's what I call a compliment! It's nice to be appreciated." Helen Belden said, teasing her husband, apparently concentrated in the reading of the newspaper.
Dan smiled and winked at her, while he stepped out into the yard.
"I heard that!" Peter Belden answered, smiling at his pretty wife.
The Belden kitchen was once again filled with the laughter of young people. It had been a long time since it had last happened. Helen couldn't be happier. She'd grown to love each one of the Bob-Whites as she loved her own 4 children and she loved to see them all together again. Even when she sensed this was a crucial time for many of them, the time in which they chose their own paths. And she wished them all the luck in the world.
"Watch it, Shamus!" Mart groaned as Trixie bumped into him, while setting the table. She looked at him, surprised. It had been a long time since Mart called her that. When she met his eyes she saw it was deliberate. He knew something was up. His blue eyes were so like her own its message was unmistakable.
"Watch it yourself. Why don't you make yourself useless somewhere else?" she answered in the same tone.
Honey giggled.
"Oh, guys! Watching you two is like time traveling! Won't you ever stop teasing each other?"
"And give up one of my greatest pleasures in life?" Mart shook his growing curls. "Not ever!"
"One of your greatest pleasures? Uh-oh! Di wouldn't like to hear that!" Brian's remark made Mart blush to the root of his hair and sent the other BWG's into wild laughter. Diana Lynch and Mart had been going steady for a few months and they were the BWG's favorite teasing subject.
"Speaking of Di, where is she?" Honey asked, concerned. "She should have been here by now."
"Oh, you know Di. She takes forever to put on a pair of jeans and a T-Shirt!" Trixie said, winking at Honey.
"Behold envy raising its ugly head!" Mart retorted.
Through the open kitchen door Dan and Jim heard the conversation and smiled. They had been standing out on the yard for a while, grilling the hamburgers. The sun was setting but it was still warm outside. The air was filled with the smell of the apple trees and Mrs. Belden's cooking. Jim took in a deep breath and exhaled.
"It doesn't get much better than this, does it?" Dan asked smiling.
Jim smiled back at his friend.
"No... Not much better, no."
"How are you two, Jim?" Dan asked, his voice suddenly growing serious.
"Who?" Jim turned the hamburgers on the grill, pretending not to know what he meant.
"C'me on, Jimmy! Not with me... Just open up!" Dan insisted.
In the summer twilight their voices traveled far, so they kept their tone low. "I don't really know, Dan. We've been growing closer again, these last few days, but I don't know if it's enough." To his own surprise, Jim found himself opening up to the same man he'd been so jealous of. But he trusted him, without restraints. "I wish I knew when the right time to push things further is."
"Just tell her whatever you feel."
"It's not that easy. She's confused, she's hurt... I don't want to..."
"Hogwash!", Dan interrupted him. "I'm sorry, Jim, but that sounds like lame excuses to me! I know how it is, man... I do! But with Trixie... Jim, first she was too young, then it wasn't fair because you were leaving for college, then she went to college herself... When will this end, Jim?"
The red-haired young man stared at his friend, frowning. "How do you know all that?"
"Because those were the same excuses Trixie found not to make a move!"
Jim stopped turning the hamburgers on the grill and just stood there, struggling to catch his breath and to say something. Dan shook his head and patted him on the shoulder, sympathizing with his situation. "We talked a lot, after you and Brian left for college, you know. She never really opened her heart about her feelings but she said enough for me to understand. Look, man, I love you guys as if you were my brother and sister. And I want to see you two happy, more than anything."
"And I want to make her happy, Dan. It's the only thing I really, really want!" Jim lifted his head and stared straight into his friend's black eyes. Dan felt his heart tighten with the determination and deep feelings he saw in Jim's emerald green eyes. "I would give up everything for her, Dan, everything... But I don't know if I have the right to push her into a decision right now, when she needs peace and quiet to sort her life out..."
"Hey, Jim, I understand. But I also know that it was your principles and ethics, the same ones you're talking about right now, that got you into this trouble. Jim, Trixie will never have peace and quiet until you two sort things out. She'll always be wondering. You might be taking advantage of the situation, but it's not like you're taking advantage of her! Hell, we both know Trixie... She knows how to defend herself! Just do it, Jim. I have a feeling this will be your last chance... Take it or you will be a fool!"
A deep silence fell over the two young men, as if enveloping them. The voices coming from the house seemed terribly distant. Dan's words were digging deep into Jim's heart. He knew his friend was right of course. He had to do something or he would never forgive himself. He couldn't take her for granted once again. And he certainly wasn't giving up on her.
"You're right, Dan. Thanks. I guess I needed a wake up call." Jim took in a deep breath and smiled. "I hope it works, Dan... I don't know what I'll do without her."
His friend shrugged his shoulders. "Well, I guess it's best for you to know whether you'll ever have to find out."
Meanwhile, Diana Lynch, known as one of the prettiest girls in Sleepyside, finally made her entrance in the Belden's kitchen. Trixie couldn't help to smile at the ecstatic look on Mart's face as he saw her come in. She was very happy for both of them. Di had always been a great friend and had become more so as the years had passed. Some time before she might have been regarded as a little silly scary-cat, very pretty to look at but without much brightness. But Mart had believed it otherwise and she had been able to prove all of those people wrong.
Di hugged Mart tight and kissed him soundly. "Hello, baby. Hi, everyone. I'm sorry I'm late, but I ran into Mr. Lytell." She said, making a face. But no matter how much she tried she could never be less than beautiful. Even now wearing old jeans and a white t-shirt, Diana was a sight. Her eyes were more violet than ever and her raven hair, which she had cut up to her shoulders recently, was as becoming as it could be. Trixie couldn't help feeling a little envious of her but it soon passed.
"Mr. Lytell? Well, there's someone I haven't seen in a while." Honey stated.
"Dare I say you haven't made an effort not to be so, dear almost sister-in-law?" Mart asked, winking at her.
Honey laughed.
"Well, let's say I usually take a detour every time I pass his store. He's growing more annoying every day."
"Don't be mean, kids. Mr. Lytell is a nice man. And he has proved to be a true friend at times." Mrs. Belden said, while holding a bowl full of chocolate chip cookies.
"Oh, yes. But never before he knew everything that did not concern him." Trixie sighed, remembering some of the hard times the old busybody had put them through.
"And he's at it again... That's why I'm so late." Di said as she put on one of Mrs. Belden's aprons and started helping Mart with the salad. "He was
determined to find out why you were interested in selling a part of the game preserve." She concluded nodding towards Honey.
There was a bewildered look in the other girl's face as everyone turned towards her.
"Your parents are thinking of selling part of the preserve?" Brian asked.
"No! I'm sure they would have told me if they did!" Honey answered, confused.
Diana shook her head and tried to calm them with a gesture. "I am too, Honey, don't worry. I'm sure it was just Mr. Lytell's rambling... He told me a man came by his store and they started talking. He says the man asked to whom belonged the big estate he had just passed and if the lake area was part of it. Probably, and knowing Mr. Lytell as we do, the poor man never opened his mouth and it was our old friend that him every detail of the history of Sleepyside. Mr. Lytell's said that the man commented about being interested in buying a farm in the area and he was kind enough (and this is a quote, mind you) to provide the gentleman with a detailed map of the Wheeler, Lynch and Belden's estate." Di giggled. "So you see, there's nothing to worry about. The poor man, no matter if he really was interested in making an offer to Mr. Wheeler, has given up the idea by now! I don't think he'll be returning to Mr. Lytell's anytime soon."
Nevertheless, Honey was still worried.
"I do hope my father isn't thinking of selling... I'd hate to lose a single inch of this estate. There are so many special places in it..."
Brian put an arm around her shoulders and kissed her temple gently. "I'm sure he doesn't, sweetie. Your dad loves this place even more than you do."
Trixie heard everything in silence. Though she was certain Mr. Lytell had been to fast in jumping to conclusions, there was something in that story that was bothering her. She just wasn't quite sure what it was.
She watched him as he discreetly stepped out to the porch. All the others were engaged in a charade game and didn't notice his absence. Or if they did they decided it was best not to mention it. Through the parlor window she saw him lean over the railing, his eyes lost somewhere in the woods. An overwhelming feeling of tenderness grew inside her heart. She could see now that somehow their closeness and intimacy over the years had kept them apart. Like two magnets which are inseparable if you get the sides right. Because if you don't there's not a single force in Nature that can bring them together. And maybe that was it... Opposites attract and they had somehow been too alike.
Responding to her deepest impulses, Trixie got up from the couch and went outside. Dan smiled as he saw her walk out of the room and his eyes were caught by Mart's. He winked at him and they both returned their attentions to the game.
Trixie shivered as she stepped out to the porch. Inside had been quite warm and the fabric of shirt she was wearing was thin. Jim never noticed her presence until she was very close to him. "Trix!" he exclaimed, startled. "God, you scared the living daylights outta me!"
"Sorry." She said with a smile. "Do you want me to leave?"
"No! Of course not. I was just thinking and didn't hear you." He smiled back at her. "What's wrong?" he asked, as she shivered once more. "Are you cold?"
"Oh, it'll pass... It's just the temperature difference. I'll get a coat or something..."
"No, don't bother. Take mine. I'm kinda hot anyway..." Jim took of his denim jacket and put it around her shoulders.
"Thanks." she said, trying to deal with his last remark and the feeling of his jacket around her. If she closed her eyes she could imagine it was him holding her. Snap out of it, girl, she said to herself, it's just a jacket!
"It's such a beautiful night." Jim said, climbing down the steps to the garden. "I was thinking Annie would love to be here. I don't think she has had many moments like this..."
Trixie nodded. "Yeah... I know what you mean... Maybe she can be with us soon. We'll do anything to help her."
"You know, Trix, meeting her has made me remember how fortunate I've been... How fortunate we all are. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if you hadn't decided to snoop around my uncle's house... Where would I be?"
She gulped and tried to lighten the moment by joking. "Oh, I'm sure you would have scared trouble away with one of your 'I mean business' looks! I know you scared me!"
To her surprise, Jim closed his eyes and exhaled. "I did, didn't I?", he whispered, and Trixie wasn't sure if he had meant her to hear. Then he turned to her and reached out his hand to her. "Come with me, Trix. Let's take a walk."
Without a word, Trixie held his hand with her own and followed him. They walked slowly and in silence up the hill, hand in hand. Finally, they got to their destination: Ten Acres, the estate that had once belonged to Jim's uncle and was now his own. The scenery of their first meeting. Still holding hands, Jim led her to a fallen log, in front of which was the large clearing where the Blue Mansion, as it was known, had once stood. Now, not even the darkened debris that had survived the terrible fire bore a physical evidence of it ever having existed. In its place, pilled up construction material to be used in the building of Jim's school for orphans announced a new dawn for Ten Acres.
"This place is going to be beautiful after it's all built." Trixie said, gazing at the scenery.
He smiled, a dreamy look on his face.
"I certainly hope so. I can't wait to start... I'm just waiting for Brian and Honey's party to start building. It would be awful to have dust and dirt flying all over the place."
"Yeah... Your mum would love it!" Trixie giggled at the thought of Madeleine Wheeler coughing her way through clouds of dust. "But seriously now... It's gonna be hard to get all this up and running."
"I know..." he answered. Silence fell over them again, each buried in their own thoughts.
"I wish my dreams had turned out the way I imagined them..." Trixie whispered, half wishing he wouldn't hear.
"Why didn't they, Trix?" he asked, tilting her chin up with his finger, so she would look straight into his eyes. "I know that there's something else bothering you... It's not just Honey going to New York to study, is it? Listen, I know I haven't done much lately to earn your trust... But I wish you'd give me another chance. Please tell me."
"What do you mean, Jim? Not trusting you? I would trust you with my life..." There was a sad smile in her face as she went on: "In fact, that is part of the problem... I trust you all. All the BWG's. And it just doesn't make much sense going on without you."
Jim didn't dare say a word. He hoped in his heart that Trixie would finally open her heart and tell him what was happening.
She understood what he was waiting for and decided it was time she told him. Besides, she had already made her decision. She had made it that night, in her kitchen, watching all of her friends together laughing and sharing one more of those moments that made it all so special.
"What I'm trying to say, Jim, is that I don't want to be away from you all... From Sleepyside. When Honey was coming with me, it was different... She was a constant reminder, she was someone who had shared all that happened. It doesn't make much sense to me doing it without her... You can call me weak or a coward... Believe me it all has passed through my mind over and over again. But I can't... I won't! It's not worth it. I'm giving up on the agency."
Jim was bewildered. He didn't know what to expect, but he certainly didn't expect this. Clearing his throat, he said:
"Are you sure? Trixie, it's always worth to fight for a dream, no matter how hard it seems. You taught me that!"
Taking a deep breath, she got up and he feared she would leave. But she didn't. She just stood there, bracing herself. After a few moments, she turned back to him.
"I know! I know, Jim. But that's just it... Without Honey, without you, it isn't my dream anymore. Not the way I dreamt it. I don't want to spend the rest of my life chasing adulterers, just because I'm getting paid... I don't know how to explain, but I loved it for the fun, for the team work... And suddenly you guys all moved on and I'm... I feel lost!"
"Why did you only make that decision now?", he asked, being as careful as he could with his words. "Was it because of Honey?"
"Yes... Maybe... I'm not sure. I guess I suddenly realized I was alone... That it weren't the BWG's anymore..."
At this, Jim got up and walked up to her. "You'll never be alone... We'll always be here for you."
She shook her head, making her sandy curls bounce and smiled. "I know! That's not what I mean. I know you guys are worried about me. What I meant was that I was the only one acting and thinking as if it was still nine years ago!"
"I wish it could be nine years ago." he whispered.
"Why?" Trixie pointed at the clearing ahead of them. "Your dream is coming true, at last. You fought so hard to get it... Why do you want to go back?"
"Because I overlooked some important parts of my dream along the way. Without which it doesn't make much sense either." Jim could hardly believe he had said those words. He sounded so serene, so calm... And he felt neither. But it was said. And by the expression on Trixie's face and the deep blush that now covered her cheeks, he knew she had gotten the message.
"Would you have changed anything, if you could go back?" she asked, avoiding his eyes.
"Yeah... I would have told some people how much they meant to me, in due time. You're always thinking they know but most times they don't..."
"Oh..." it was all Trixie could utter. Jim was now standing very close to her, his eyes deep into hers and every time that happened she seemed to lose all of her thinking abilities.
"And I would have shown you how much I admired you and your spunk, instead of scolding you all the time for getting into trouble... I'm really sorry, Trixie and I wish the way I acted played no part in your decision. I never wanted you to give up anything..."
Shivering at the feeling of his hands softly resting on her arms, Trixie gulped. "Oh, Jimmy, I know that." she managed to say. "And don't worry. I know all you said was out of concern... And it had nothing to do with my decision. It's just that now I don't know what to do with my life. You see, I don't want to settle for second best."
Jim's heart skipped a beat, when he heard those words. And he wouldn't lose the chance of knowing. "What is second best to you, Trix?"
She looked confused. "But I just told you... Second best would be chasing this dream without you guys. Leaving all I love behind me, only because I've spent half my life wishing for something that I don't really want anymore!"
Jim finally let out the breath he didn't know he was holding. "But are you sure you don't want it?" he asked.
She nodded.
"Yes. Not this way. I even considered Police Academy or the FBI... But you know me. I hate following rules. I guess I've had doubts for a long time but I was... Oh, I don't know... ashamed, afraid... to admit I wasn't sure."
"It's ok to have doubts. We would understand, even if you owed any explanation to us. You don't. The only person to whom you have to explain all that is yourself. We'll be here for you, no matter what." Jim smiled and winked at her. "But somehow I don't think giving up on the agency means you're through with trouble. It will chase you even if you choose to be a librarian!"
"I guess you're right." she took in a deep breath. "Boy, I feel relieved for letting it all out. Thanks for listening, Jim."
"Thanks for telling me," he answered, smiling.
"Oh, why do we have to grow up? It would be so much easier if we were still kids," she moaned, as they slowly walked across the clearing.
"C'mon, Trix. Do you really believe that?" he asked.
She shrugged her shoulders. "Guess not! But I kinda miss those days."
Jim reached out and gently squeezed her hand. "We all do. But there's so much ahead of us. Give it time. Maybe fate has some surprises in store for you."
"Maybe..." she smiled at him, feeling her heart at peace, a feeling she hadn't known in a long time. They both kept silent for a little while after that. But then Jim broke the silent, however hesitant: "I was thinking... I mean I thought about it long ago but I never... Well..."
Trixie threw him an amused glance and said: "C'me on, out with it! Tonight's the night for revelations. Just say whatever you want."
"It's just that I don't want you to think I'm saying this only because you are thinking about giving up on the agency." Jim stopped and turned to face her. "I don't want you to see this as an alternative... As second best." he added, with an embarrassed smile.
Only then did Trixie understand the relief in his expression after she'd told him what she meant by second best. And she blushed with the thought. "I won't. What is it, Jim? The suspense is killing me."
"I was wondering if you would like to work with me, in the school. It would be great having you around and I guess that with that Psychology major of yours, you could help the kids that we'll get here. Some of them will probably be quite messed up." Jim said all this almost without stopping to catch his breath and still found the energy to add: "And who knows what kinds of mysteries they'll bring along with them? Maybe you'll become our house detective! And you still could open the agency, if you change your mind."
Trixie didn't say a word for a few moments. She had no doubts the answer was yes, she would love to work with him. In fact, once she had wondered why he had never asked her. Now she understood: Jim was afraid she might think he was trying to make her give up her dream. And she loved him for being so considerate. But on the other hand she couldn't help feeling a little bit disappointed. She wished he wouldn't be so considerate. She wished he would just tell her how he really felt about her, because that suspense was the one that was really killing her.
Jim thought he would burst with expectation until she finally answered: "I would love to, Jim. I would love to work with you."