Welcome to, Chaos On Deck Part V...
You know the spiel, I do not own Star Wars, Darth Vader, Emperor Palpatine, The Stormtroopers, the Death Star, these are all copyrights of LucasFilm Ltd. I also do not own any other references in the RP such as Beauty and the Beast, any Lady Gaga Songs, or Lady Gaga herself I believe she has that right. As this is a spoof things are going to happen in extremely bizarre ways and totally different from the story line.
This spoof in particular is taken from a roleplay the people listed below and I did on Neopets, and is a continuation of Part IV. Now on to the participators...
Marly_Hugo35 (Me) - Darth Vader, Lumiere, Cogsworth,
bugsbunny7117 - Chef
rose101364 - Barnabus The Stormtrooper and Mr. Wilkins The Demented Janitor (OC's)
O.k., so guess what? Did you guess? O.k., this is it, the final chapter in the Burn, Baby Burn Arc. No cliffhanger here, the story wraps up nicely and sets everything up for the first "Off Death Star RP" to come from our group yet, it will be occurring on (SPOILER) Yavi... Ha, you really thought I would tell you? Well, I've kept it a secret for three RPs so far, I can keep it a secret until it actually comes out. So read on, and don't forget to rate , comment, and review...
Last time on Chaos in Deck...
Our ragtag group of Imperials managed to repair the kitchen and prepare a four star lobster dinner all through the magic of montages. But all was not daisies, and lilacs, and rainbows, and those one things that no matter what you can't help smiling at them, and also brown paper packages tied up with string, for deep within the dark, slightly depressing, flickery lights, B-Grade horror film, style dungeons of the Teal Star, had developed another mutated species which, although adorably cute, would waddle into the non-dark and depressing sectors of the Teal Star and reek havoc like only penguin people can. But the worst part of it all! ate tons of lobster, which, through some quick need to make an exciting conclusion by the writers, attracted the beast like mopth to the flame, or hornets to a can of pop, or some other random analogy, but that's not important, what matter's is that our trio of evil doers who have a soft side must now reach the Fanct French Baguette room before is sleeping with the fishes in a Penguin-Persons stomach, read on...
Vader clung to the side of the golf-cart, holding on for dear life, as it sped down the various halls. The sound of wind rushing by had drowned out any sign of Lady Gaga over the speakers and his helmet's eyes wear stuck against his actually ones as they approached the room. "B-B-Barnabus, s-slow d-down or we-we'll m-m-miss the r-r-room!," he managed to say as they approached a rather empty looking hallway.
All that the Chef could do was hang on to the seat as tightly as he could and hope that he didn't die. He did have a family somewhere out in the galaxy after all, and was hoping, at some point to, see them again.
Now, this is where, through the magic of roleplay and Fanfiction, we manage to escape from the actual plot to show you this…
Picture a small dining room on Nasboo. Nothing big, nothing fancy. A Stormtrooper, female by the shape of her armor, and her two Stormtrooper children stare out the window at the vast cosmos before them. "Momma?," the younger child says, "Is Daddy cooking for the Emperor?" And the mom replies, "Yes Clarice, Daddy's baking buns for Vader."
Now, I really must draw your attention away from that tear jerker to show you the actual story that's happening at this moment in space…
In an instant, Barnabus slammed his foot on the breaks. The cart screeched to a stop, leaving skid marks on the floor. "Did we miss it?" the Stormtrooper asked, his eyes wide.
The Chef was rocketed forward and out of the cart, skidding several feet before beginning to roll, his momentum only stopped when he hit the end of the hallway. The only thought in his mind during this trip was, 'I'm going to die.' Unfortunately he did not. But man that would have made an exciting plot twist, don't you think?
"Nggffgfs," came the muffled sound as Vader removed his helmet from the extremely plushie dash, "It's right here." He then got out of the cart and walked, stumbled, fell over to a large metal door labeled FFB, "Right through here," he said as he fumbled with the abnormally large ring of keys mumbling to himself, "Dungeons, X-Box 520, Room of Fruit, CookiePalooza, Fragglehorn's Cell, My Secret Quite Place, My Pimped out TIE Advanced, my collection of foods that look like Jedi I've killed... ah The Room of Fancy French Baguettes."
Barnabus's eyes lit up, "BAGUETTES?" he ran over to the door, jumping up and down with excitement, "IwannabaguetteIwannabaguette!" Mr. Wilkins groaned from the golf cart, "LOBSTER. TOO. MUCH."
The Chef slowly opened his eyes and realized that he wasn't dead. He struggled to his feet, stumbled around for a moment and then staggered over to the rest of the group.
"HELLO! WELCOME TO THE ROOM OF FANCY FRENCH BAGUETTES! I AM PIERRE AND I WILL BE WALKING YOU THROUGH THE PROCESS OF ACCESSING THE ROOM!," a voice said from nowhere as the key was turned, "STEP 1, ARE YOU DARK_LORD_AWESOME?" "Yes" "THANKS, ENTER CODE NOW." Vader typed his code in before the door flew open, "ENJOY YOUR MEAL!"
The Chef rubbed his head and stared into the room...good gravy if he'd known they'd had this room he'd have added subs to the menu a LONG time ago.
Barnabus whimpered at the sound of the voice, shrinking up against the Chef "But... Why?"
The Chef turned to Barnabus groggily, "Why what?"
"WHY IS THERE AN ANGRY FRENCHMAN IN THE COMPUTER?" Barnabus sobbed, "I DON'T WANT MY BAGUETTES HANDLED BY HIM!"
The Chef continued rubbing his head "...I didn't think he sounded angry, but if it means that much to you..." He stepped up to the panel, entered his code and changed the voice on the pad, "Bonjour!" it said happily. It now had the ever friendly voice of Lumiere.
"Come on, there's a remote operated defense system in the back where we can take out the Penguin-People without haveing to actually fight them," Vader said as he led the way into the "room", which could technically be called a warehouse based on the amount of space and the layout. Aisles and aisles of delicious French Bread lay before them as they made their way towards the back.
Barnabus's eyes grew wider and wider as he stared at all the French bread. "So much better than this one," he sighed, tossing his old, blackened baguette over his shoulder. He reached forward for a nice, fresh one.
The Chef looked at the blackened old baguette oddly for a moment ...why was Barna- he shook his head Never mind. Suddenly Lumiere's voice came down from the ceiling "I am regrettably sorry monsieur, but you are a contaminated baguette" And with that a tiny laser shot from somewhere above their heads and disintegrated the dead Baguette.
Barnabus's eyes got very, very wide. He was quiet for a few seconds. Then, with a shriek, he jumped into the Chef's arms. "I DON'T WANNA BE A CONTAMINATED BAGUETTE!"
The Cheff's head hurt too much for this right now, "Barnabus," he began testily, "Do you really believe that you are a contaminated Baguette?"
"COGSWORTH!," came a voice from somewhere down the aisles as a little clock ran across their path. "THAT BAGUETTE IS NOT FIT FOR THE MASTER'S CONSUMPTION! Pardon mi monsieur's...," a candelabra yelled as he ran after the clock. "Bonjour," Vader said as he bowed slightly to the little objects as they rushed across their path, "You are most certainly not a contaminated baguette, as far as I am aware, then again I do need to renew my Baguette/Human Identification License."
Barnabus stared after the candelabra, "No... But, he might not know it!," the Stormtrooper let go of the Chef to point at the ceiling and promptly dropped to the floor.
The Chef shook his head, "Computer Identify" he said pointing to Barnabus. The computer took a moment then responded, Subject: Barnabus, Occupation: Soldier, Official Helper to Mr. Wilkins, Most certainly NOT a Baguette.
"HELLO DEARIES, HOW ARE THINGS DOWN THERE? NO CONTAMINATED BAGUETTES I HOPE?," came a woman's voice from the ceiling, "WOULD YOU LIKE A CUP OF TEA?" "Bonjour Mrs. Potts," Vader called to the ceiling, "See Barnabus nothing to fear. Now would you like a cup of tea?" He then turned slightly to stare at the clack and the candelabra fighting a little ways down the aisle, "Ello," the candelabra said as the clock released his nose and it snapped back into place.
"It knows my name!" he wailed, staring at the roof, "How does it know my name?" he sniffed, hugging his new baguette close to him, "All I wanted was some French bread...
Vader's hand met his helmet as gears the two objects began to fight and gears went flying in all directions.
The Chef shook his head, "Oh.. Barnabus...It's programmed that way, it knows everyone's name, The technicians TOLD it everyone's name" He then turned to the ceiling, "I'd love a cup of tea Mrs. Lans-err Potts!"
Barnabus stared up at the ceiling thoroughly confused, "Erm... Cinnamon buns?"
"COMING UP DEARIE," called the ceiling before a tea cup and saucer dropped from the sky into the Chef's hands, "ANYTHING ELSE DEARIES?" "NO,NO,NO, WHAT WOULD THE MASTER SAY?" "LIGHTEN UP COGSWORTH, THEY'RE OUR GUESTS!" "NO,NO, NO SINGING!," Vader yelled at the bickering voices in the ceiling. "BE. OUR. GUEST. BE OUR GUEkgfgjfij," the speaker said before it's crumpled remains fell in their path.
The Chef stared at Vader in dismay, "Awww... I like that song..."
Barnabus stared at the speaker, speechless. "Bu- bu- but, we're their guests." he whined, "I wanted to hear the song..."
"Bonjour, it is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight. And now we invite you to relax let us pull up a chair, as the Fancy French Baguette room proudly presents, your dinner," Lumiere said as he raced up one of the aisles with Cogsworth hanging on to his base for dear life. THE. MASTER. WILL. NOT. BE. HAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPYYYYYY!," he cried as he went flying down another aisle, kicked off by Lumiere as he reached his place, and crashing into the broad side of an aisle, a large gear rolling out and across the floor where it spun before falling as Cogsworth groaned and attempted to get up.
"Be. Our. Guest. Be our guest, put our service to the test, tie your napkin round neck cherie and we provide the rest," the candelabra sang as chairs popped out of the ground and the ground rose to form a table for the three to sit at, "Soup du jour, hot hors d'oeuvres, why we only live to serve. Try the gray stuff that's delicious," hors d'oeuvres floated out as the candelabra called them. "Don't believe me...," The candelabra said before Cogsworth clambered onto the table and cut the music, "Ask the dishes, we know, we know, they're French, Lumiere this is NOT what the master meant when he said have fun!," the clock stated as he replaced several gears, "Now if you'll EXCUSE us, we really must be off, good night." He then led Lumiere off down the table.
The Chef reiterated, "Awww..." He'd quite been enjoying the little number
Barnabus watched them leave, his eye twitching, "But... How do they fly?" he asked curiously, poking a floating bowl of pudding.
The Chef shrugged helplessly. He was pretty good with food, but this was one he just couldn't answer.
"The Force?," Vader asked as the table slowly went back into the floor and the two figures walked off towards a large door at the back of the room. "FUN? THAT WAS MOST CERTAINLY NOT FUN YOU WAX-HEADED GIT!," Cogworth yelled as they retreated. "Calm down you GEAR-BRAINED PENDULUM SWINGING BAFOON, WHY YOUR NO MORE THAN AN OVERGROWN POCKET-WATCH!," Lumiere retorted as they reached the door.
The Chef chuckled a bit as they left and proceeded to point his thoughts back towards the matter of hiding Wilkins from the Penguins, "SO...Where' we gonna put him?
Barnabus's eye twitched, "Erm... Did we leave Wilkins on the cart?" Suddenly, the Stormtrooper's eyes got VERY big. "...With the Penguin-Peoples loose?"
"FUDGE!," Vader said as he whirled around and saw the Penguin-People outside the door, their flippers poking Wilkins before several of them grabbed him and took off, "GRAB A BAGUETTESABER AND FOLLOW ME!" Vader then grabbed a golden brown baguette off of the shelf and took chase of the Penguin-People.
The Chef grabbed a baguette from the Extra-Crispy shelf and followed Vader.
Barnabus clutched his baguette to his chest, quickly running after Vader, "WILKINS OWES ME A CINNAMON BUN FOR THIS!"
"AHHHHHHHHH!," Vader yelled as he caught up to the back of the Penguin-People group and swung the baguette at the old one with the walker who happened to be lagging behind the others. The baguette stopped as it touched the Penguin-Person's face which resulted in the Penguin-Person crumbling to the floor as Vader moved on to the next one.
The Chef entered the fray, not swinging wildly as one might expect, but stopping, striking a ninja pose, holding the Baguette like a katana, and becoming his opponents forward. No one knew but him, but he was secretly trained in the ancient Food fighting arts...back when it as an ART...and not just wildly flinging food.
Barnabus, however, had abandoned all hope of destroying the Penguin-People, and had resigned to sitting on the floor, munching on his baguette. "Go get 'em, Darthy!" he cheered, "Let's go, Chef!"
GO GET EM' DARTHY? Darthy? Is that what they called him behind his plastic and nylon coated back? He had expected things like The Vadernator, or The $3,000,000,000 Man, or Vadenstein, never Darthy! But it was support so he took it and wiped out all, but six Penguin-People who had stopped to get directions from the nice man behind the counter at "Lightsabers R' Us".
The Chef did a few backhand springs and quickly dispatched the extra six penguin men. "THERE!"
Barnabus cheered, "WE DID IT! WE DID IT!" A bleary-eyed Mr. Wilkins sat up, blinking, "Erm... What just happened?"
RATHER THEN GO THROUGH THE EXTREMELY LABORING TASK OF TELLING THE WHOLE STORY FROM THE BEGINNING VADERMERELY SWIPED HIS CARD ON THE "LIGHTSABERS R' US" COUNTER AND ACTIVATED THE EXTREMELY PRICEY AND UNDERUSED FLASHBACK FEATURE EQUIPPED INTO THE DEATH STAR VR. 78.2843 UPON THE EMPEROR'S REQUEST, WHO IT OCCURS TO ME WAS OT SEEN ONCE WITHIN THE COURSE OF THIS PLOT, ONLY HEARD ON THE PHONE.
Mr. Wilkins nodded, slowly understanding what was going on. "Well... Don't expect me to clean it up."
And that wraps up this amazing arc and gives us a clean slate for the next plot.
But I'm sure you still have questions like:
What will happen next?
Will there be more Disney allusions and cameos?
Why hasn't someone done something about Dr. Fragglehorn?
What happened to Palpy?
What about this new plot, where is it at?
The answers to these questions and more in the next installment... hopefully...
Rate, comment, review...