Welcome to, Chaos On Deck Part VI...
(A.K.A. The Trial Of Dr. Fragglehorn)
You know the spiel, I do not own Star Wars, Darth Vader, Emperor Palpatine, The Stormtroopers, the Death Star, these are all copyrights of LucasFilm Ltd. I also do not own any other references in the RP such as Beauty and the beast and The Lion King, those are property of Disney Animation Studios. As this is a spoof things are going to happen in extremely bizarre ways and totally different from the story line.
This spoof in particular is an oddity for this story as it is created by only me, but uses the characters you know and love from the previous chapters. It kind of goes more indepth into the character of Dr. Fragglehorn and his creations and is meant to be just a filler page while we work on the other plot.
O.k., I know I said, that this RP would be the new "Off Death Star Plot", but things have been slow for our group recently and we'll get to work on the new plot ASAP. We're still working on getting another plot up as soon as possible which is the first "Off Death Star RP" to come from our group yet, it will be occurring on (SPOILER) Yavin... Ha, you really thought I would tell you, sadness... hopefully it will be up soon enough, read on... readers, and don't forget to rate , comment, and review...
Today is a very special day on the Death Star Vr. 78.2843, today we witness the trial of a mad scientist...
"ORDER! ORDER!," yelled the court justice as he banged his lightgavel on the edge of his extremely high desk that ran along the far end of the court room aboard the Teal Star (A.K.A. as Death Star Vr. 78.2843). The entire length of the desk was painted fuchsia and covered in teal and cerulean vines and flowers. The chairs that held only eight people, but were defiantly meant to hold a much larger assembly, were upholstered in a fancy turquoise plaid and made of beautiful mahogany painted Styrofoam.
The before mentioned spectators sat three rows back, so as to be safe in the event that the doctor had some kind of Penguin DNA bomb, or an overly fancy atom splicer, or force-forbid, a spoon stolen from the prison block cafeteria. The spectators consisted of Dark Lord Awesome (A.K.A. Lord Vader), Emperor Palpatine, Mr. Chef, Barnabus. , (Who had refused to leave the safety of his cart and as such, sat in the garbage basket in it's front as he watched the judge), Samuel The P.A. Guy, Lumiere, and Cogsworth who had all been asked to attend this special trial of the "Evil" ( Evil is hardly the word to use, the more adequate word would be annoying, overly destructive, extremely bad at genetic splicing) Doctor.
"ORDER! I SAID ORDER!," the judge yelled out to silent group of guests, "The trial of Dr. Rasputia Tanesha Tamera Phil Bryan Johan Steven Becky Fragglehorn will now commence. Bring in the doctor!" The large metal doors opened to allow a man to rush in and up to the judge's desk. "WHAT?," the judge exclaimed as the man spoke with him, "WELL FORCE HIM!" The man then exited and returned shortly, leading a very cool and collected, and slightly burnt, Dr. Fragglehorn, who wore a lab coat and goggles as his white hair stood straight up above his head.
As he took his seat the bailiff proceeded to run up with a copy of vogue magazine so as to perform the swearing in of the only witness in the trial. "Dr. Rasputia Tanesha Tamera Phil Brian Johan Steven Becky Fragglehorn do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you Force." "I do… for now," the doctor replied as the bailiff walked off to his blast shield protected office on the far side of the court room and began to eat his popcorn.
"Dr. Rasputia Fragglehorn…," the judge began before the doctor interrupted. "Please, do call me Johan," the doctor stated before he began to tinker with a peeling edge of the stand. "Fine, Dr. Johan Fragglehorn, will you please tell the court your story?"
I assume I could indulge them in the tale, if they comply to allowing the extra funds needed to create the flashback/montage sequence…," the doctor said as he sat up straighter and removed his goggles from his eyes.
"Does the Emperor comply to allow the funds necessary to create this flashback sequence?," the judge asked the Emperor from his place behind the explosion proof glass. "I do, but no more than 200,000 credits and a loaf of Fancy French Baguette," the Emperor replied. "Thank you, witness may continue," The judge said to the doctor who had went back to peeling off the gold fringe along the witness stand. "As you wish, it all began on a stormy night at Insanei City Hospital, Sanitarium, and High School…," the doctor began as he waved his hands in front of him and stared of into the middle distance as the picture went blurry and we saw the following events…
It was in fact a very stormy night at the small Hospital, Sanitarium, and High School on the south side of Insanei City on the small water-covered planet of Kamino. A child was born to two humans vacationing on the planet. But all was not good once they realized that the Jedi order would kill them should they realize the blatant disregard for the code they had committed, and they left the child with Kaminoan Prime Minister Llama Chu, who took the baby Rasputia and taught him until his 18th year.
It was then that he went to Insanei City College of Genetic Splicing and cloning and learned the techniques needed to get him a doctorate in the field and a job on the Death Star Vr. 78.2843. Here he was best known for creating the most ignorant and deformed clones ever thanks to his delight in cooking terrible foods inside the cloning pods, and then making clones in them days after without cleaning them.
Most certainly the highlight of his life was when he made his first genetically spliced opossum-person and first looked upon it's grotesque form inside it's pod whilst it snacked on chocolate cake that had crusted to the inside of the pod. But alas, one genetically altered species was not enough for him. And so he created the first batch of mole-people , who unfortunately were not blessed with particularly good eyesight or hand-eye coordination and found themselves burning, only twelve minutes after release, in the main reactor with no one any the wiser to their release.
The second attempt at creating an army of people was slightly more successful, but this was overshadowed greatly by the explosion that resulted when they tunneled into the main laser controls and caused the destruction of Yavin III. Needless to say the explosion had similar effects on the mole-people, but due to the graphic nature of their demise we will not go into detail as to the end of their existence.
Trial number three was the first effective batch of mole-people, (See Part 1 of this story) and caused much mayhem and destruction aboard the Death Star Vr. 78.2843 until the PINK Division managed to subdue them and place them in their cell (A.K.A. The Converted Mustard and Horse Radish Storage Room) whilst the apprehended doctor was locked inside his lab until farther notice or a trial could be conducted.
However the PINK Division, though greatly commended for the efforts, had failed to realize the implications of locking a known mad scientist in his own lab with an entire refrigerator of animal DNA to splice. But, that little fact is not nearly as crucially important as the creation of the platypus-people, who came after several other failed species including: kitten-people, deer-people, GiantPanda-People, fish-people (He had failed to realize the limitations of a water breathing species in the vacuum of space), and lastly the lemur-people (Whom he liked, but had a tendency to steal his peanut butter and jelly sandwiches so he led them into the air vents that led to the main reactor. Nothing was ever heard of them again, but some troopers swear they lose their PB & J Sandwiches if they set them down for even a second.)
The Platypus-people seemed infallible, they were the epitome of perfection, in the doctor's eyes, their only weakness… guacamole. But even that minor flaw wouldn't stop them, or so the doctor thought. For two and a half hours they ravaged the indoor (Indoor because an outdoor anything in space becomes disastrous quickly as they learnt with the outdoor tennis court and the demise of some thirty odd Stormtroopers) swimming pools after breaking their doctor free, but before trying to reach the mole-peoples cells. However, the PINK Division stepped in and returned the doctor and his experiments to the cryogenics labs where they were promptly frozen alongside the French fries and beef patties.
And so the story comes to an end… NOT! The mole-people escaped from their cell and spent three hours looking for their master and his platypus people. ?they were unfortunately successful and the platypus-people terrorized the lower decks with their moly brethren whilst Dr. Fragglehorn cowered in the Room of Cuddly Pillows Shaped Like Animals and Flowers.
But alas, the PUCE Squad found him only moments after Lord Vader, The Emperor, and Secret Apprentice No. 452485 (A.K.A. Mara Jade) destroyed the remainder of the enemy spawn. The obviously mentally unstable doctor was placed in a padded cell in Sub-Level 35: Department of Mind Related Illnesses and Baked Goods.
After several mental examinations and a Home Economics course, the doctor was released to his lab and given "The Imperial Seal Of Mental Stability And Chefly Like Baking Skills". More failed experiments occurred at this point and the doctor was forced to move his lab to the flickering lights and B-grade Horror film mold covered walls of the lowest locker room of the Death Star Vr. 78.2843. It was here where the remainder of his DNA samples were reduced to koala, penguin, llama, kangaroo, giraffe, lion, shark, and turkey. Confident that the penguin DNA would be an adequate spicing substance to create a species capable of initiating his escape and ascertaining him the goal of ruling the station the Penguin-People were created and sent off to do his bidding.
He however vastly underestimated their directional capabilities and their lobster cravings and as such did not expect them to be taken out by the baguette wielding Sith and chefs. And with the end of the Penguin-People Dr. Raspu… I mean Dr. Johan found himself, once again, in Prison Block 3452845937*$%^$^: The Mad Scientist and Delusional Smugglers Sector. It was only three days later that the doctor was brought to the court for numerous crimes that we will list later. Cue wavy lines and end flashback…
"That was a touching story Rasputia…," the judge said as a loud snore came from Wilkins, who had laid down against his mop and fallen asleep during the flashback. Vader was watching the light from the stained glass window that took up a large portion of the wall behind the judge and depicted what appeared to be the story of the Battle On Hoth, seeing as it was so far the only true victory of the Empire, if it can be called a victory as the entire Rebel fleet escaped before they could effectively be destroyed. The Emperor was listening to the Cantina Theme on his iPod and a s a result was subconsciously bobbing his head. And the other's were watching the Extended Edition of The Lion King on their portable DVD player.
"Dr. Rasputia Tanesha Tamera Phil Bryan Johan Steven Becky Fragglehorn, you stand, sit, are here to day and accused of Evil Science Not Expressly Permitted By Your Employer, Crimes Against The Empire, Blatant Disregard For DNA Splicing Rules and Regulations, and Creating Evil Species In A Lab Not Inspected Or Authorized By The Imperial Board Of Lab Regulations and Safety, how do you plea?," the judge asked as the spectators watching the DVD all simultaneously yelled, "NOOOOOOOO! NOT MUFFASA!"
At this sat bolt upright in his cart and stared out of it, pointing a bottle of Windex in all directions and looking ready to shoot. Suddenly the Emperor moved and received a prompt spraying of the cleaning liquid to his face before the old janitor retreated to the safety of his garbage can.
"Now, as I was saying, how do you plead?," the judge asked Rasputia again. "I plead… NOT… Innocent," the doctor replied as he smiled the widest smile possible. "Really? Well in that case, I sentence you to three days imprisonment and then immediate ejection into space, court dismissed." With that the judge banged his lightgavel and disappeared in a puff of smoke as the bailiff drug the doctor through the door towards his holding area.
As the metaphorical sun sets on our escapades in court, the group of could-be heroes are seen pushing the mentally unstable out of the court room in his cart… What will happen next?…
So how did you like that exciting expose into the Life and Times of Dr. Fragglehorn?
But I'm sure you still have questions like:
What will happen next?
Will there be more Disney allusions and cameos?
What's gonna happen to Fragglehorn now?
WHAT HAPPENED TO MUFFASA? (Which if you've watched the movie should be easy enough to answer, if not, go watch it, now)
What about this new plot, where is it at?
The answers to these questions and more in the next installment... hopefully...
Rate, comment, review... PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE!...