Cold
That's the first thing that registers from my mind. It is cold.
I tried remembering the last thing before the cold. It's blurred. All I remember is noise, panic, chaos. I keep trying to recall. Where was I before this? Where is this anyway? It's so dark, and damp, and most of all, it's cold. It does not feel like ordinary cold, it is cold mixed with fear. Why am I here? Where was I before? Come on Charlie, remember.
I was in the hospital wasn't I? Doctor Alex was my doctor, I remember him in one of Bruce's parties. He approached me and took care of my hand. No, wait, he didn't get to. He was about to when a nurse came to him in a rush, they looked worried. He told me we had to evacuate. Why? I tried asking him, but I couldn't get any answer. The hospital that was so peaceful not a long time ago was now in chaos. I couldn't find my doctor anymore. He had disappeared. People were running, patients, doctors, nurses, and guards alike were in a state of panic. What was going on? What happened? Why were they running?
I tried looking for Rachel, but I couldn't find her. There were too many people; no one took notice of me. Where was she? Did something happen to her? I felt myself being shoved in every direction. It was so crowded; I didn't know which way to go. I felt arm grab me and pulled me away from the chaos. Just as I turned to thank my savior, I realized the he wasn't planning on saving me.
The Joker.
Why was he there? Where did he take me? Why did I faint? What did he want from me? So many questions, I was afraid to know the answer to any of them. I knew whatever Joker was planning it wouldn't be good.
"Hello hello hello," said a grim voice that reminded me of the evil uncle in 'A Series of Unfortunate Events' only it was much worse. I saw the Joker crouching next to me as I lay on the wet floor. I gasped at how close he was to my proximity and moved back hastily, like a cornered puppy. He laughed wickedly. "No need to be scared of me… at least not yet."
I was though, I was terrified of him. "W- what do you want?" I said, sounding braver than I really was.
He laughed, he laughed really loud. He stood up; his hands were kept inside his purple suit which I think had a knife, and started hopping about. "What do I want? What do I want?" he asked with glee. "No, no, no my dear ickle princess, what do you want?" He paused, with a menacing smile in his face, "But then again, how could there be anything you want when you've got everything. Little Charlie Wayne, Gotham's princess. Am I right?" I hated that title; it was what every tabloid news called me. "I suppose every princess needs a Jester doesn't she?" He laughed. "Or was it a prince?"
I heard a muffled noise behind me, and I saw a man entering carrying something. No, he was carrying someone. The person being carried was tied, blindfolded and gagged, but I knew who it was.
"You monster!" I yelled at the Joker. "You let him go, you let him go right now!"
The Joker's smile widened, it was so eerie looking with the scars in his cheeks. "You heard her royal highness, let him go," The man unceremoniously dropped Jimmy, who fell on the floor with a loud thud.
"Ar-ie?" I heard him yell through the gag. I wanted to run to him but the Joker stood in between us. I held out a hand trying to reach him, but I see the Joker looking at us like some sort of experiment. He steps on my hand, my wounded hand, just before I can touch Jimmy. I wince in pain, but I didn't want to make a noise.
"You'll learn that the world isn't a fairy tale princess," he grinned and crouched down to me. He slowly lifted his foot and took my wounded hand into his, cradling it like a baby. He then put it in his mouth and licked it, I tried pulling it away from him but his grasp was so tight. "But you know all about the world don't you Charlyne." I winced at his full use of my name, is sounded so wrong coming from his vile mouth.
He snapped his fingers and the burly man reached for Jimmy, I let out a small scream. He didn't hurt him though; instead he just removed the blindfold. "Look at him Charlie," the Joker said. "he doesn't know about the world like we do." With that, he grabbed Jimmy's face and lifted it enough to get a clear view of it.
I had no idea what the Joker was rattling on about, how were we similar? "You know, I had a little princess that looked just like you," he started off, like a teacher telling a story. "She lived with her god awful mother, but oh how I adored her." He licked his scars often, as he spoke. "One day, when I saw her mother's new boy toy shouting at my little princess, I got angry. I shouted at him and inevitably we got into a fight. Wanna know how I got these scars?" I didn't. "Well, Mr. Boy Toy had a knife, when he managed to knock me to the ground. He then took his knife and placed it in my mouth like this,"
The Joker sat on Jimmy and grabbed my friend's face. He squeezed Jimmy's cheeks, similar to how mothers would sometimes do to children who don't want drink their medicines, and placed a knife inside Jimmy's mouth. I saw Jimmy's eyes tear up as he looked at me pleadingly, asking me to help him.
"Please don't!" I cried helplessly.
"Don't interrupt me when I'm doing a monologue!" the Joker yelled viciously. I froze. "As I was saying," the Joker continued pleasantly as if he wasn't angry just a moment ago, "He placed a knife in my mouth like this and cut my lips open like so," I let out a muffled gasp and the Joker laughed loudly. He didn't cut open Jimmy's mouth like I had thought, but the Joker looked at me expectantly. "Thought I would cut him up did you? Worried about your friend weren't you? HAHAHAHA!"
I felt sick to my stomach.
"You just stayed there unable to do anything," he whispered maliciously, out of Jimmy's earshot. "How does it feel to be helpless? To be unable to do anything? Did it remind you about how you cowardly hid while your mother was being killed before your very eyes?"
I couldn't breathe. I stared at him in wonder. How did he know? Why did he bring that up? What is wrong with him? Why is he doing this? I could hear him laughing at me. "You monster!"
I don't think I should have said that, his face turned to an ugly frown that did not match his scars. He pulled me by my hair and placed my face so close to his. I could see his worn out makeup, his wrinkles, his scars, his yellow teeth, his terrifying eyes and I could also smell his retched breath. "You know, that is exactly what my princess called me when she saw my scars," he growled. "How about I cut you up instead of your little friend?" He grabbed my face, I shook my head. I didn't want him to put the knife in my face.
"So you're willing to let your friend get cut up instead of you?" he asked maliciously. "Look at him," he pointed at Jimmy's worn out form, I wasn't sure if he was conscious or not. "His father is a police like you're mother. They both died but his father came back. Why is that? Why couldn't your mother have come back too? Isn't it not fair that his father gets to come back while your mother's corpse is being eaten by maggots?"
I shook my head. I didn't want those thought entering my head. Those things have been haunting my brain since I heard that Mr. Gordon was alive. How did the Joker know what was in my brain? What kind of game is he playing? But I did feel that way, I felt exactly as he said. I was jealous of the fact that Jimmy's parent came back, I was jealous that my mom was dead and his dad wasn't. I know it was a horrible thing to be envious of, and I hated myself for it. So for the Joker blurting out my darkest thoughts like it was nothing, it's like being kicked when you're down.
The Joker laughed again, "Now, my princess, I'll let you pick," He stood up. "Your life or his?" What kind of question was that? I stared at him as he did that little dance of his again. "Tick tock little princess, what would it be?"
I felt tears in my eyes as I looked at Jimmy. I saw him shaking his head as he struggled to move with his hands tied being him. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, that night I saw Jimmy's soul more clearly than ever. I saw his fears, his worries, and his pain. I knew what he wanted me to do. I'm sorry Jimmy, but can't do what you want. Not this time.
"Don't hurt him please," I begged. I heard Jimmy's muffled yells, as he shook his head vigorously. "Please take me and don't hurt him," I pleaded louder.
The Joker smiled and crouched next to me ones again. "I'll have to say, I'm quite surprised by your choice," he grinned. He placed a knife on my throat; I could feel the blade digging through my skin, slowly. I'm sorry Jimmy, I'm sorry Bruce, I'm sorry Alfred, I'm sorry Rachel. But the pain never came. He just dropped me and walked over to one of his men.
I crawled to Jimmy. I didn't know what was going on but I needed Jimmy at that moment. "I'm so sorry Jimmy," I whispered. He had tears in his eyes, as he struggled to get closer to me. The Joker came from behind him though and kicked him.
He groaned loudly at the pain. I cringed but I couldn't do anything anymore. I felt so weak.
"Here," the Joker said, tossing a knife on the ground. "Bring him in," the Joker said in a theatrical voice, like how the presenter of a circus would. They dragged in a chair with a man on it. The man had a sack on his head and hands tied behind him like Jimmy did. "This," the Joker said loudly, his voice echoing around the place. ", is my gift for the princess. It took me a while to find this fella here but for the princess it was nothing," I didn't know what he was talking about. Who was the man in the chair?
The Joker pulled the sack from his head.
I wish he didn't.
The man, no –the monster underneath was someone I hated. Suddenly the knife looked enticing. I relished the moment of what I would do if I was ever given the chance. How I dreamed of making him suffer as much as he made me and my mother suffer. This was my chance, this was my moment. I wanted it. I wanted it more than anything.
"You kill this filth who brutally murdered your mother and you are free to go, along with your little friend. That's it," the Joker smiled slyly at his proposition. I shuddered. It seemed easy, too easy. What was his motive for me killing him? What did he want from me?
The Joker wasn't done yet, he threw pictures all around. They scattered everywhere, the pictures of my mother, of her death. Where did he get this? How did he get this? She's looking at me. Her blank eyes are staring at me, just like the day she died. Just like the day she was murdered by that very man tied to the chair.
"Why didn't you save her Charlie?" the Joker yelled while laughing.
Why? Why? Why didn't I save her? I don't know why. I don't know why I didn't save her.
"Here's your chance to avenge her Charlie," he continued.
Yes, yes, here it was. My chance, I could do it.
"The knife princess, the knife is in your hand,"
It was in my hand.
"It's so beautiful isn't it?"
It was. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
"Look at the way he's looking at you?"
He's glaring at me. The same way he looked at my mother a he killed her.
"Don't you want to avenge her? Don't you want her to be proud of you?"
I do.
"You'll be saving your friend too,"
Yes, if I don't do this Jimmy will die. I have to. I have to kill him. I have to.
"Then do it,"
Kill him.
"KILL HIM!"
"NO!"
I blinked. I had the knife in the neck of the man who killed my mother. One more inch and I could kill him. Who stopped me?
"Ar-ie," said the same voice. I turned and saw Jimmy struggling with the bind in his mouth. I ran over to him, loosening his binds to he could move. "Don't do it Charlie," he whispered.
"But the Joker-," I looked around and saw he wasn't there.
"He left a long time ago Charlie,"
I shook my head. "No, I heard him. I heard him Jimmy, he was just here,"
I felt arms wrapped around me in a comforting hug. "It's alright Charlie, he's not here anymore. You can't kill him Charlie; you'll regret it forever,"
I looked back at the man; I saw that he was crying. I felt pity.
NO! He killed your mother!
"Please, please don't kill me" he cried, tears flowing down his dirty face.
"Why shouldn't I? YOU KILLED MY MOTHER!" I wanted so much to put the knife through his face.
"Please, I didn't kill her," I froze and pushed Jimmy off of me. I had the knife in his throat again.
"You killed her! I saw you kill her!" I yelled coldly.
He was shaking; I can feel his quivering as the knife dug deeper in his throat. "I was there, I admit I was there, but I wasn't who killed her,"
"You were still there. Does it really matter who dealt the final blow, you were still there. You and all your filthy mob friends" I don't know what it's like killing someone. I can hear Jimmy yelling but it's all incoherent. It doesn't matter, he doesn't matter. All that matters is this man and how much I wanted him dead. He was there; he had a hand in my mother's murder.
"Your father killed her," he groaned as I dug the knife even deeper.
"You're full of shit you know that," I sneered, "My father wasn't even in the country when she died. Do your research you piece of shit,"
He snorted. I felt like he had the upper hand again, and I was just a kid. I didn't like that feeling: helplessness. Was he egging me to kill him? Did he know how easy it was for me to kill him?
"Not that father, your step father. Steve Rowsen." He was mocking me wasn't he? I haven't even thought of Steve since that time with Bruce.
"He can't have," But even as I said it, I didn't believe what I was saying. Steve scared me if I was to be blunt, but he made my mom happy.
He started chuckling. "You stupid girl. Steve was one of us, he had a clean record but he was one of us. He was Marcus' godson. You know Marcus right?" I nodded reluctantly; he was the mob boss that was prominent in Vegas. "He wasn't known, even amongst the majority of the mob, so he was the perfect decoy. He went for your mom because she was the up and coming detective. It was so easy finding out all the information, and you're mom foolishly trusted him."
"Shut up!" I cried. "YOU SHUT UP!"
"When he found out how close your mom was to cracking the case he told Marcus and dear Marcus asked him to kill her. They needed a fall guy so I was there. Who was I anyway? Just some nobody. So yeah, I'll admit I was there, but I swear to you I didn't touch no hair on your mother."
I glared at him. "So what! Why shouldn't I kill you for being there and kill him as well?"
"You think that'll solve all your problems kid? Sure you kill me then what? You think your little friend there ain't gonna tell everyone how he saw Gotham's princess kill someone? You think they're going to believe you when you accuse Steve. He's got the entire mob on him, and even if you have your daddy's money you don't think they can't hide Steve. Make him disappear?"
"If you let me go, I'll help you. I have evidence hidden in a safe place that'll convict Steve along with the rest of the mob. All I want is to be free and to see my family again. I have a kid, a son. He's younger than you, only eight. I haven't seen him since he was just a little baby. Please, if you let me go, I'll help you. I know a way out of here and I can help all of us get out,"
I'm so confused. I wanted to scream, cry, hid, push something, yell but most of all, I wanted my mother.
"It's ok Charlie," Jimmy whispered as he held my hand and pulled me away. I shivered in his warm touch. It was like I was covered in a block of ice and his touch was the only source of warmth in this frozen abyss.
"You don't understand Jimmy. You're father came back, but my mother's still dead," I whimpered as my knees gave up taking him with me on the floor. I had finally told him what was in my head.
"Charlie," he argued. "You don't get it. We're the same. Your father came back, remember. He came back from the dead as well,"
I stared at him. He's so smart and reasonable. He was right. My father did come back like his did. We were the same. I was drowning in a pit of ice cold anger and resentment that I forgot what I had. I had my father back, I had Jimmy, I had friends who cared about me, and a mother who loved me. She wouldn't have liked what I was about to do. I stared at my best friend. I was truly lucky to know him, to be friends with him. I leaned in and kissed him on the corner of his lips.
BANG!
BANG!
BANG!
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A message from TemperedRose:
It's a lot harder than I imagined trying to write about the Joker without being too much like the movie Joker. I've actually read the Batman comic books about the Joker and he's just such an interesting villain. It was fun writing him but it's eerie. There's just something about the whole character that makes you feel different. Basically his motive here is to break Charlie just like he tried with Harvey. He wanted Charlie to know what it's like to murder someone.
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