Disclaimer: Victorious, quite sadly, yet also probably for the best, does not belong to me.
A/N: I don't usually do this kind of thing, but, like a drunk girl in college, I'm willing to try anything once, but then stop when I graduate. By that I mean I don't usually switch perspectives, I prefer to stick with one character and leave the thoughts of the ship target a mystery. But as you can see, I've changed my mind, and it's completely unrelated to the massive amounts of alcohol I've consumed, although it may be responsible for my dog being wrapped in toilet paper and tossed off a bridge. Also, that never happened.
Tori
Cat's a mystery to you. You suspect she is to everyone, but you've never encountered anyone quite like her. She's a contradiction in terms... someone like her, someone so apparently flighty and airheaded shouldn't get good grades, but she does. Better than you, in fact. Someone like her, someone so childish and easily distracted shouldn't be your friend, but she is.
You remember the first time you saw her. She stood out in that crowd of students, when you were feeling so overwhelmed on your first day. That red hair... it caught your attention. Little did you know what kind of person she was then. You were utterly confused at her abrupt changes in mood, and it only made you feel that much more out of your depth. Then you got to know her better. She became your friend so quickly, so effortlessly that you're still not even sure how it happened. You never really made friends at your old school... you just sort of drifted among everyone, never really fitting in. You were... okay with that, you thought it was normal, but Cat... she came on so strong. She paid attention to you, never made excuses about having to do something when you wanted to hang out. She didn't judge you, when it felt like that's all everyone was doing. It is a performing arts school after all; everyone's always watching, always sizing you up to see what sort of competition you are. Cat never did that.
You sometimes think she doesn't fit in at Hollywood Arts. She's got the talent – you've heard her sing, seen her act... but she doesn't have the ambition, she's not trying to claw her way to the top. She's the most genuine person there, besides Andre. He was your first friend, the one who really made you think this Hollywood Arts thing would work. You thought if everyone was as cool and talented as him you'd be stupid not to go. And of course, Beck. When you bumped into him in class, you thought it was a sign. Here was this handsome, nice guy, who you instantly felt this bond with... but then his girlfriend walked in. Jade. You've known people like Jade, you've just never been targeted by one before. If it wasn't for Andre, if it wasn't for Cat... even Trina, you would've quit right then. You were invisible at your old school, but at least that meant you were left alone.
So you kept going, and you made friends. It was funny though... after your little stunt kissing Beck... you really didn't feel anything for him. It wasn't that you were intimidated by Jade, which you were very much so, it was more... you just didn't really feel anything for him. It was for the best, having those kind of feelings when Beck's taken would just cause trouble.
You're happy. You have friends, you're getting the hang of how Hollywood Arts works, and you're not pining after some guy you can't have. But right now, you're confused. Cat's your first real girl friend, so you're not sure if you're overreacting or if it's normal. She acts weird sometimes... and maybe it's just Cat. You don't know. She lives in her own little world, so you don't know if it's you or her. Like today, for instance. You haven't really done that improv exercise much before, but you're pretty sure that's not how it works. You could see Cat getting worked up, see her face start to flush, her tongue darting out to lick her lips, her hands fidgeting in her lap. It made you uncomfortable for some reason, you felt like Cat was seeing more than what was happening. You wondered if you were missing something. You stopped the game eventually, getting worried at Cat's reaction. Her breathing was getting uneven, the flush pronounced in her cheeks, and you'd put a hand on her knee, just to see if she was okay. You felt her jump, her eyes flicking to your face and then to your hand, and then she'd slowly, tentatively put her hand on yours.
Is this what friends do? Is this how friends are supposed to make you feel? It doesn't feel like this is something friends do, but you don't know how to ask her. She gets so easily offended, and you don't want to push her away. You've made her cry more than once, and you're only just learning how to control your temper. You don't snap at her often, but when you do, you always regret it. You try, and not for the first time, to figure out what's going on in her head. You study her face, and that flush is still there, colouring her cheeks. Her eyes flick up to meet yours, the colour of coffee with deeper strikes in them, and you furrow your eyebrows. Just for a second there... you thought you could see something behind them, something that struck a chord inside you, but before you could figure it out she stood, and your hand slipped away from her. She said a distracted goodbye to you, and you'd replied similarly, still confused.
You'd looked at your notes absentmindedly, shuffling through them after she left. It was supposed to be your turn next, with Cat saying the words while you said the first thing that came into your head. Maybe it was for the best. You can't help but worry you would've said something stupid, or revealing. You frown. Revealing of what? You wonder.
You'd looked at your hand, the one that had touched her knee. You just wanted to comfort her, it was what friends did, wasn't it?
Sometimes you wonder why you're friends with her at all. You have nothing in common with her; you have to watch yourself around her, because it's so easy to upset her. She's easily distracted and unreliable and there's a million things about her you could find fault with. But for some inexplicable reason you like her. You're drawn to her, and most of the time, you feel as comfortable with her as do with Andre. It's only sometimes, like today, that you realise how different she is, how there are these moments with her that you've never had with Andre, or even with Beck, and you wish you had a basis for comparison, because you think it is Cat, but you just can't be sure. You push it to the back of your mind. Asking her, especially when she's so easily offended... well, you don't want to lose her friendship. You've hurt her feelings before when you've snapped at her, and you're determined not to do that again. If you can help it.
You sigh, clenching your hand into a loose fist and standing. You're being stupid. All she did was put her hand on yours. You were the one who touched her knee in the first place. Friends touch each other all the time, you know that, you do it with Andre; touch him on the shoulder, or the knee. It's part of being friends, that you have the right to do that, to touch with impunity. You're overreacting. That's all.
A/N: Please review! I'm like a broken record, in that I'm obsolete and a dead format. Oh, and I keep repeating myself. Speaking of which, I have a record player! I just play that record I got with Bioshock 2, over and over again.
On more related matters, let me know if you like this format (the whole switching between Cat and Tori). If'n you like it, I'll keep doing it, and do my best not to repeat myself. I'll try to become an mp3 through sheer force of will.
Oh, and I realise I just repeated myself about repeating myself, or rather trying not to repeat myself, which ironically made me repeat myself and led me to comment about repeating the words 'repeat myself'.
C-C-C-Combobreaker!