Disclaimer: I just hear 'claim' and I get excited. I think because of 'exclaim'! Which you legally can't type without an exclamation mark! And also the first three letters are the same as excited! Which is what I feel when I exclaim! I don't own Victorious! But I'm not excited anymore. I'm just sad.

A/N: One note before we begin the chapter. 'Kerb' is the correct Australian/British version of 'curb', which I used back in Chapter 5. However, I'll try to stick to the American version from now.

Cat

You're stunned. More than stunned. Your mom doesn't seem to notice when she picks you up... she's used to you being in your own little world. She asks how Tori is, and you stammer out an answer, but you're not even sure what you said. You can't even hear yourself. Your brain hurts so much, because it's trying so hard to understand. What did you do?

You're home, and you don't even remember getting out of the car. You're just here now. Just in your room, and the bright colours and cute pictures that usually distract you, usually relax you are having the opposite effect. You need to focus on this! You can't run away, even though you really want to. You don't like consequences, but this is important.

You kissed her. You kissed Tori. Tori the girl. Tori your friend. Tori Vega, your girl friend who's a girl and your friend. You don't kiss friends. You only kiss people who make you want to kiss them, and those people aren't friends. Well, they are, but in a different sort of way. In a make-your-heart-beat-funny sort of way. And Tori's a girl. Not that you don't like girls... you do, but... wait. Do you like girls? You tilt your head, toying with a strand of your ruby-hued hair. Huh. You never really thought about it, and you've thought about everything. You think girls are cute. Tori's cute. But you also think bunnies are cute, and you don't kiss them. Well... you do, but only on the nose. You didn't kiss Tori on the nose though, you kissed her on the lips where you kiss people for real. Like she was someone you wanted to kiss. And it felt good... your lips are still all tingly, your heart still hitches when you remember how it felt. It felt really good.

You shake your head. What are you doing? Tori's your friend. Tori's a girl. You don't kiss friends and you don't kiss girls. But... you did. You kissed Tori who's a friend and a girl. Maybe you're a hypocrite? You're thinking about this all wrong. You keep saying what you don't do but you did do it. So you're just lying to yourself. Why would you do that? You hate it when people lie to you, so it's even worse when it's you that's lying to you!

You need to look at what you did do. You kissed Tori, and it felt really good, and you think you'd like to do it again, just to see if it felt as good the second time. But why? It's not something you do... usually do; kiss friends who are girls. So why Tori? Tori's different, you know. Not different personality-wise you guess, or different physically, but she's different to you. She's like a lot of people you know, but she's not them. She's her and she makes you feel different. Not different the way you usually feel different, like it's you, but different on her side, the way she makes you feel. You act different around her than you do with your other friends. You try to think about how you feel when she's around you. You picture her in your head, her smile, the way she says your name, and there's even a smile in her voice when she says it. It makes you feel all warm, and you hug your arms to yourself tightly, because it feels like a hug, but you've only got yourself to hug back. Sometimes when you touch her it makes you feel funny. Not like a hug but like you have this force field around you. Like... you can feel her when you're not even touching, even if your arms are just side by side... it's like she's actually touching you, and it makes the hairs on your arms stand up, like they want to touch her too. And when she hugs you... she hugs you so tight, like she really means it, not like she's distracted or thinking about what groceries she needs. Like she's hugging you and she wants you to know it. You like hugging her, but it makes your insides squirm about, like they want to be hugging her too.

You already know you like Tori though. You knew that from the first time you saw her at the Showcase. Tori's your friend, but she's different. She's your best friend, and when you say it you mean it. Out of all your friends, she's the best.

You wish you hadn't kissed her. You like being her friend, and you've kissed people before and things have changed. When you kissed Robbie, just to show him that a stage kiss was meaningless, it still changed things, and it made your skin crawl to have Robbie looking at you that way. It went away, but still, it was awkward and weird. You don't want it to be like that with Tori. You shouldn't have kissed her!

You're still not really sure why you did. It's not like when you've kissed boys, because they were boys and not Tori. You didn't know them like you knew Tori, and when you thought of them, you knew you could kiss them, that you were supposed to. But when you think of Tori, you think about everything you know about her; how she's a great singer, and a good friend, and how when she's really happy, her smile stretches all the way across her face and you can see those extra teeth. You call them the happy teeth, because that's the only time you see them. But kissing Tori isn't in those things you think of. You don't know that you can kiss her, and it doesn't seem right. She's your friend, not your girlfriend, and you're confused about where the line is now. Because she's your friend, but you've kissed her, and everything's all blurred now.

You're trying. You're trying so hard to concentrate and figure this out, but it just doesn't make sense to you. You keep trying to work out why you kissed her, but you can't get around what she is, and what it means. It makes sense to you that you'd kiss Tori if you liked her, you know, that way, but you know what that feels like. It's all squishy and eye-fluttery, and Tori makes you feel something lower down, in the pit of your stomach that's different to what you've felt before. With anyone. Okay, so maybe Tori made you feel that way when you first met her; sort of dizzy and giggly. But you got past that... for the most part. You still have your moments. You don't know. It's making your head spin, trying to think why you did it.

There'll be repercussions. You know that. People don't forget when you kiss them, especially when those people are your best friends and you're not entirely sure you meant to. You don't want to deal with them, you don't want there to be this weirdness between you and Tori. Maybe you should just pretend that it never happened. It's not mature, but then, you're sitting in a brightly coloured room with pictures of bunnies everywhere. You know you're not mature, you're fine with that, but maybe if you pretend it didn't happen, Tori will just forget about it, or at least not mention it and it'd just be easier if you both pretended. That's what you'll do. Your logic is of the 'if I can't see you, you can't see me' variety, and you're pretty sure it won't work, but it might. It'd be awesome if it did. Then you wouldn't have a problem. Well, any new problems.

You change into your pyjamas, relieved. You know what to do. You hate it when you don't... it makes you feel so lost, like you don't know where to turn, and there's so many things pulling you in all these different directions that it feels like you're being ripped apart and it just makes you want to tear your hair out but you like your hair and-

You take a deep breath, pulling a tank top on. Even just thinking about it... it gets you all worked up. You turn off your light, scurrying to bed. You stare at the glow-in-the-dark star stickers on your ceiling. You know they're not real, but you can't have a skylight. You'd get scared that something would fall out of the sky and crush you. It still could, but at least you wouldn't see it coming.

Now that you know what to do, you can think about it. The kiss, that is. Now that you know it didn't happen. You bite your lip, because it helps you remember, makes your lips feel sensitive like they did when you kissed her. It was short, but... it was nice. She didn't kiss you back, not really, and you're sort of glad for that. It would've raised a lot more questions, and it wouldn't be so easy to forget about. If you think about it now, you can forget it later. You just want to remember it one time, really well, so when you forget you don't feel the need to remember it, because you'll remember that you remembered it before you forgot it. You think.

You feel like your body is buzzing, remembering the kiss. You remember what Tori smelled like, that peppery sort of perfume she wears that crawls inside your nose and turns about like a dog settling down. It makes your head swim. You remember how your two voices melded together so well, how it made your heart beat so strangely when you sang with her. To her. But mostly, you remember being that close to her. Mostly you remember how you closed your eyes tight, and felt her lips, so soft, so still against yours. You shiver, touching a finger to your lips. Your entire body feels hot, feels like it's sparking, and you trail your hand lightly down your side, resting your fingers on the bare skin of your inner thigh. And as you move your hand higher, the skin flush under your fingertips, you find yourself thinking of Tori, and that thing that never happened.

A/N: Oh Cat, you so silly. Just admit it already! Now that I've covered most of what you'll say in your review, feel free to just tell me how great I am.

I kid. I'm not that conceited. Not yet. But you know what? You can help with that. You can help make me into a more conceited person, and really, who doesn't want that?

Now, a real question. Which view point do you guys like better, Cat or Tori? And, if you do answer and feel chatty, why?

And also. I like the ending to this chapter.

Why do I mention this?

Because I really like the ending to this.

I'll stop being creepy now. Well, I'll try. Eh, forget it.

...Sexy. ;)