September 18
Well, she's not bleeding on the ballroom floor
Just for the attention
Cause that's just ridiculous...ly odd.
Well, she sure is going to get it
Here's the setting
Fashion magazines line the walls now
The walls line the bullet holes
Have some composure
And where is your posture?
Oh, no, no!
You're pulling the trigger
Pulling the trigger
All wrong
Have some composure
And where is your posture?
Oh, no, no!
You're pulling the trigger
Pulling the trigger
All wrong
Give me envy, give me malice, give me your attention
Give me envy, give me malice, baby, give me a break!
When I say "Shotgun", you say "Wedding"
"Shotgun", "Wedding", "Shotgun", "Wedding"
She didn't choose this role
But she'll play it and make it sincere
So you cry, you cry
(Give me a break)
But they believe it from the tears
And the teeth right down to the blood
At her feet
Boys will be boys
Hiding in estrogen and wearing Aubergine dreams
(Give me a break)
Have some composure
And where is your posture?
Oh, no, no!
You're pulling the trigger
Pulling the trigger
All wrong
Have some composure
And where is your posture?
Oh, no, no!
You're pulling the trigger
Pulling the trigger
All wrong
Come on this is screaming "Photo op." op...
Come on
Come on
This is screaming
This is screaming
This is screaming "Photo op."
Boys will be boys, baby
Boys will be boys
Boys will be boys, baby
Boys will be boys
Give me envy, give me malice, give me your attention
Give me envy, give me malice, baby, give me a break!
When I say "Shotgun", you say "Wedding"
"Shotgun", "Wedding", "Shotgun", "Wedding"
Boys will be boys
Hiding in estrogen and boys will be boys
Boys will be boys
Hiding in estrogen and wearing Aubergine dreams.
I wish you could hear this song. The beat is rockin.
September 20
I think I'll give you a name. But I can't think, so I don't know what to call you. How about 'Panic?' Maybe that's what makes me write in you.
September 21
Haven't had a chilidog since my birthday. I miss them! Think I'll draw a few. They should be fat and juicy, not sticks.
Not like me. Not like me at all.
September 22
I drew a doodle of what I might look like. Hee hee.
September 23
The doodle I drew scares me. I think I did the eyes too well. I stared in the bathroom mirror for hours trying to capture them. Maybe I was looking at Bloody Mary instead.
September 24
I'm scared to go in the bathroom with only a candle. Gods help me.
September 25
Storm. Wonder if it will make the power go out.
Later
Power's out. I don't feel well, cause now I can't see Knuckles. I don't want to go in the bathroom with a flashlight, and Knux is making me. I can feel his hands digging into my arms. He says he just wants to watch us kissing in the mirror so he could see if he wanted to tape it, or something, so he can get hard. All I wanna do is eat popcorn, but Knux says I'm getting too fat.
How can I be getting fat? I've barely eaten anything since my birthday.
September 29
Whatever life brings
I've been through everything
And now I'm on my knees again
But I know I must go on
Although I hurt I must be strong
Because inside I know that many feel this way.
September 30
This is it. I feel like this is the end. I'm doing really bad now, and, oh, I don't want to complain! So I won't. Not even to you.
Maybe I'll call you 'Rant.' Think I've been on a couple since I started writing in you.
Later
I just realized…these pages are as good as your face. Does it make you sad to know that I'm writing on your face? It makes me sad that I might have to see you die from ink poisoning, the words, "I'm not okay" written on your face.
October 1
Hello, fall. I'm so exhausted, my stomach is growling like a thunderstorm, and I haven't felt the need to brush my hair. Raking the leaves, but even such a simple task is draining me fast. I wanna jump in them, watch them fly away like little birds.
Why can't I be a bird?
October 2
Knuckles prepared a feast, just for me! He made a fast food pizza with fries and burgers, and…oh! I dunno how he did it, but I'm so happy that he did! He says he's sorry, and he's thinking about letting me say hi to Shadow!
October 3
Eating cookies and milk. I think I love Shadow! I'm so happy! I'm going to tell Knuckles I don't want to be with him anymore!
…
Maybe he'll be mad…?
I can tell him tomorrow…can't I?
Is it wrong for someone to hate you for breaking up with them?
October 4
I told him. But I almost got my head knocked in. Knuckles punched my skull with his shovel claws and threatened to make me drink alcohol. I locked myself in the bedroom, but he broke down the door and threw me against the wall. Then, he made a wet spot on my skin and put a metal prong on it. Now I have a burn mark on my wrist. It's black and still smoking.
Knuckles is sleeping now, but…I'm so scared.
I'm going to run away! And Knuckles can't stop me!
October 7
Sorry I haven't written, but I've been preparing for my escape. Knuckles went to Angel Island for the weekend, so now's my chance!
Later
I just ran for half and hour. My heart's beating unnaturally fast and I feel so dizzy. Sorry that my words are all over the place. I can't see the page very well. I think I'll just crawl up and sleep.
October something
It's raining, it's pouring, and I'm gonna get a cold…seeking shelter beneath an oak tree, eating acorns. They're not enough to make me feel my stomach again.
Late fall
Knuckles tracked me down, but he's being all sweet. He brought me a box of chocolates if I'd come back with him. I want to see Shadow. I need to tell him how I feel, even if I can't leave Knuckles right now.
Knuckles will get over this. He may be gullible, but he isn't stupid. He won't force me to stay…will he?
December 1
I found out where Shadow works from Amy, because she's a secretary there. I told Knux I was going to see her and met up with Shadow. We had lunch in a café. I got a half-moon cookie. It tasted really good.
I dunno the last time I had one of those…or a semi-decent meal.
Still didn't tell Shadow how I feel. I will, though. I swear.
Sonic's Commentary
Oh, Shadow! Do I tell you enough how much I love you? I'm going to tell you three times every day. I love you, I love you, I love you! I'll go start right now.
Shadow's Commentary
I'm going to kill that echidna.