Disclaimer: Despite my magic spells and chicken sacrifices, I still don't own Victorious.

Tori

You wake up, and it feels like a hangover. Well, what you think a hangover would feel like. You feel terrible, and ashamed and all sorts of things... like you can't believe what you did last night. You sit up, snapping fully awake. What you did... what Cat did. Cat kissed you.

Your heart pounds. How you could've even forgotten that for a second... Oh God. What are you going to do? How are you going to let her down easily? You... you do want to let her down, don't you? Yes... yes, you do. You don't... don't like her that way. No. You think. No. What are you saying? It's ridiculous. You'd know if you liked Cat... but you're not... not... you don't... you're not.

You're not looking forward to seeing her. It's gonna be awkward, and painful, and Cat gets hurt so easily. You don't even know how you can let her down without crushing her. She's so sensitive. Ugh. Maybe you should just avoid her. No, that's not fair. Cat deserves the truth. She probably thinks she's ruined everything with you, that you must hate her. You've got to let her know that your feelings haven't changed, that you're still her best friend. You can't avoid her, as much as you'd like to. You can't do that to her.

You throw your covers off you, getting up with a sigh. Today isn't going to be a good day. You resign yourself to that, catching a glimpse of Cat's bag sitting on your beside table. You should probably give that back to her as well. You tilt your head, pursing your lips and sitting back down on the bed, reaching over and grabbing her bag. You're curious as to what's in it. You would've checked last night, but you had the bigger problem of trying to understand that Cat kissed you. You don't like to snoop, but... who's going to know? You're just curious, is all. Still, you feel a little guilty as you rummage through it, the scent of Cat's perfume wafting around you as you disturb the contents. You take a deep breath. You like the smell of it... it's fruity, but soft. It's perfect for Cat. It's a smell you find relaxing for some reason, but refreshing at the same time. Okay... lip gloss. You chew your lip. Her lip gloss. You know what it tastes like. You shake your head, you have to stop it. It didn't mean anything... you're just still a little freaked out. You keep rifling through it, finding the usual stuff, plus a surprising amount of candy. Well... not surprising for Cat, but for a normal person, yeah. Your fingers brush over something cardboard, and you pull it out. It's not cardboard... it's a picture. It's a picture of Cat and you. You feel a twinge; Cat's arms are wrapped around you, a grin on both your faces, and you remember instantly when it was taken. It was when everyone went to the beach. You'd asked Andre to take it, the sun starting to set, and Cat had thrown her arms around your shoulders in a hug and you'd leaned your head against hers, smiling. You catch yourself smiling now, touched that she'd have this in her bag, that she'd have it with her, the corners a little bent. You put it back into the bag carefully.

This is going to be hard. You really don't want to hurt her. She's so sweet, but you're not sure how to do this. You'll just have to... to be honest. But nice. You don't want to dash her hopes, but you don't want to lead her on, either. It's weird but... you're almost flattered that she does like you... that way. It just... seems so adorable to you, but then, everything Cat does is. When a guy likes you, most of the time you're pretty sure it's because they think you're hot. But Cat actually knows you... and she likes you anyway. It just... makes you feel good, that someone like Cat would see something in you.

You shake your head, standing up, clutching Cat's bag. You're always so pessimistic in the morning. You always feel so bad on an empty stomach. You take a deep breath, trying to pump yourself up. Okay, today's going to suck, but everything'll be okay! Your stomach rumbles and your breath whooshes out, shoulders slumping. Well, maybe after breakfast, anyway.

You walk into school cautiously, looking around for Cat, her bag under your arm. Part of you is dreading seeing her, because that means you actually have to do it, you actually have to address what happened, and you still have no idea how to even begin. You bump into a lot of people, mechanically excusing yourself, still scanning for Cat. You catch sight of her trademark hair as she closes her locker door, your stomach dropping. You swallow hard. Here goes.

"Hey Cat."

Cat jumps, whirling around to face you. Her face is blank, surprised, and it takes a moment before her usual smile flickers onto her face. "Hey Tori!" She catches sight of her bag, and you hold it out to her.

"You uh... left this behind yesterday." You say lamely.

Cat nods. "Oh, right. Sorry."

You frown. Are you crazy? Or is Cat acting... well, normal? For her, anyway. You shake your head mentally. Best thing to do is just approach it head on. You've never really been good at tact. "Cat, about what happened yesterday..."

Cat tilts her head, looking puzzled. "What about yesterday?"

You furrow your eyebrows. Maybe... maybe you are crazy. Cat kissed you. You know that. You're one hundred percent sure of that, but... the way she's acting... it's like it never happened, like she doesn't remember. Maybe she didn't think it was weird, maybe she didn't think it was that big of a deal. But then why would she have rushed off? Why did she seem so upset? This is exactly what you mean when you say you don't know how to feel around Cat. She's unpredictable, you don't know what to expect from her. You think you've got her pinned, and then she changes and you're off balance all over again. "Cat... you kissed me." You say, somewhat exasperated. Whatever you were expecting her to say, it wasn't this.

She blinks at you. "I did?"

You look at her incredulously. "Yes Cat, you did."

"I don't remember." She says innocently, her eyes wide. And then suddenly, you get it.

"So you're just gonna pretend nothing happened?" You get it. Cat's trying to pretend it didn't happen. She didn't mean to kiss you... not consciously, anyway. She wanted to, you're sure of that much, but you don't think she planned to. And now she's scared... scared that you'll reject her because you know how she feels about you. So she's trying to pretend that she didn't kiss you, that nothing happened yesterday. She's letting you know that's it's okay to ignore it, that she doesn't want you to read into it. That she just wants you to forget about it. But... you can't. It happened. You can't just let it go, you can't just forget. It happened, and you have to know why, you have to know how Cat really feels about you. Because as sure as you were before, you're unsure again now. You never seem to know where you stand with Cat, and you'd like a bit of clarity, just for once. You grab her wrist, leading her to the janitor's closet. You need to find out.

Cat lets herself be pulled along, and you close the door behind you, the acrid smell of cleaning products searing your nose. Not that you've ever actually seen the janitor. This place is practically a haven for you. "Cat, you kissed me." You state, turning to her.

She chews her lip. "Tori..."

You can see her mask start to slip. It has been bothering her. The smile's fallen from her face, Cat shifting uncomfortably. She was just pretending. You're not crazy! Not that you thought you were... "Look, Cat... it's okay if you like me. I'm not gonna get mad or anything."

Cat's eyes flick up to you, looking surprised. "I don't like you."

You stare at her. "What?"

"No, no.. I mean, I do like you, but I don't like you like you."

You can't... you don't even... Why does she do this? Why can't she just say what she means? It occurs to you that maybe she doesn't know what she means. You just wish things made sense... it'd make things a lot easier... you wouldn't have to struggle this much. "Cat, you kissed me." You've already said that so many times, but it's what it all comes down to. She did kiss you. There's no way around that fact. "Why would you kiss me if you don't like me?"

Cat's eyes dart around. "I... I don't... T-tori..."

"It's okay. It doesn't change how I feel about you Cat. You're still my best friend." You try to reassure her.

Cat makes a sound of frustration, surprising you. "But I don't... I don't like you like that. I don't."

Why is she still pretending? There's no point to it, but then, is there a point to anything she does? "Then why did you kiss me?" You coax softly. You just want to help her. You want her to trust you enough to tell you the truth.

Cat looks downcast. "I don't know." She says it so softly you're not sure you heard her.

"Was it a mistake?" You ask her. You genuinely want to know. She seems just as confused as you are, and you can see she's dropped her act completely. She's a lost little girl, and you just want to help her find her way. You move closer to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. She looks at it before her eyes flick to you.

"I... don't know." Her voice is so small, so helpless. You pull her into a hug, squeezing her tight. Cat's different, you've made that abundantly clear. But she feels things too easily, gets hurt, gets confused too easily. You know she can't stop herself from feeling them, that she'd close herself off if she could. Who would want to leave themselves that open all the time if they could help it? You can't imagine what it's like to be her. That's why you're being so careful, that's why you're hugging her. You don't want to make Cat sad... you've done that before, and hated yourself then for it.

You can't let this go. You wish you could. It would be easier, but you can't ever seem to just do what's easy. You always listen to your gut, and it's telling you that you need to find out, that if you let this go it'll eat away at you. You pull back from Cat a little, her perfume making your head swim. It's different from what she usually wears... there's an edge to it. "Would you do it again?" You don't know why you've asked the question, or at least, asked it like that. You still mean was it a mistake or not... on her part, but the way you've said it... it doesn't sound right.

Cat looks up at you, puzzlement etched on her face, her lips parting slightly, eyebrows pulling down in confusion. You become aware that your arms are still around her, still holding her, and you remember that the last time you were this close to Cat, she kissed you. You feel an odd pulse at the memory. Cat licks her lips nervously, her breath hitching. She likes you, you know it, you can see it just by looking at her, looking at her face, her tongue running over her pink lips and-

You dart you head forward quickly, pressing your lips to hers, letting out a sharp breath as you do so and shutting your eyes tight. Her lips are soft, motionless against yours. And then she kisses you back, and it changes. You feel like you're holding a huge breath in, and it's stretching at the walls of your chest, pushing your heart against your ribs and making your skin feel tight. And then there's this hot swell in you, this surge of adrenaline, and you break away from her, your lips making a soft sound as they part. You backpedal furiously until you're pressed up against the door. What... what did you just do? Your heart is pounding so hard, racing unbearably fast. You... you kissed Cat. Oh God. You kissed Cat... why would you...? Why did you? Oh God. You can't... You feel like the walls are closing in on you. What did you do? Why did you do it? You don't... you don't like Cat that way... you just felt this urge, this need. This longing, as you remembered her kissing you before.

Cat licks her lips, and you shudder. She's confused... you're confused. She... she kissed you back. Your stomach drops. You really can't take the easy way, can you? You've just complicated things immensely, and you have no idea what to do. You didn't mean to kiss her... you're still not sure why you did. You can't do this. You can't deal with this. Is this what Cat felt when she kissed you? Like her body betrayed her?

Cat's voice snaps you out of your stupor. "T-tori?" Her voice is so soft, so utterly befuddled that you feel an urge to hug her again, to tell her everything's going to be okay. But look where that urge just got you.

"I... I... I have to go. I'm... I'm so sorry Cat..." You rush out as quickly as you can, leaving Cat staring after you, a hurt look on her face. You don't want to hurt her, you really don't but you just can't be in there with her. Not after what just happened.

You take a few shuddering breaths, trying to calm down. You'd thought you thought this through last night. You love Cat, you do, but you don't feel that way about her. You can't. It's just... it's not possible. It's Cat.

You need to talk to someone. You've never been so confused, so lost. Because you liked it. You liked kissing Cat, and you don't know what that means. You can't accept what that means. You need someone to tell you to stop worrying, that it didn't mean anything, that it was an impulse with nothing behind it. You need someone to tell you that you don't like Cat.

A/N: Gasp! The plot thickens!

...Sort of.

So... Cat likes Tori, and Tori likes Cat, but no one's willing to admit it.

Doesn't that frustrate you?

Doesn't that make you want to review and tell me "Oh, just let them be together!"?

I think it does.

You should totally do that. Teach me a lesson. :P