Heartland was empty.
The absence Amy felt was intensified by the fact that Ty had not left the place for two whole months except for times when she too was gone.
But it was getting to be too much.
She had driven Ty to the airport herself. She had stayed with him until the last possible second at security then waited in the terminal until she saw his plane disappear. She had driven back to Heartland and had thrown herself into her work, trying to pass the time, the hours, the days until he would be back.
That had been over a month ago.
He called every night. There were problems. Fist with his dad, then with his mom, then with his dad again. Amy worked very hard to sound as supportive as she could over the phone. Reassuring, optimistic, natural.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
"You look awful," Joni commented, coming over to rub circles on Amy's back.
The latter was doubled over an old barrel that served as a rarely used trash can behind the feed shed.
"This has to be the third time this week you've seen your breakfast again," The older girl tried to joke and sound sympathetic at the same time. "What did Ty say last night?"
"More of the same," Amy sighed, resting her forehead on the rim of the barrel to free her hands and unbutton the top two buttons of her work shirt. Though the morning held a mid November chill, she felt hot, clammy and basically ill. "His dad's still furious about the accident and his mom's worried for his safety," With another sigh and a low groan, Amy pushed herself away from the barrel.
"You're in withdrawal, girl," Joni joked again, gently pushing Amy towards the house. "You should skip school today, maybe call him and fill him in."
"I'll be fine," Amy protested, turning them in the direction of the feed room. "I guess its just waking up without him, I miss him too much in the mornings."
Joni raised an eyebrow.
"Well, all the time," Amy corrected quickly, pulling down a bottle of Clary Sage oil and adding a few drops to a handkerchief. "But it actually hurts in the morning."
"Does that help?" Joni asked, gesturing to the handkerchief as Amy breathed deep the herbal scent.
"A bit," Amy sighed, exhaling slowly.
"Here," Joni grabbed another bottle and held it out. "Marjoram, it helps with loneliness."
"That man has ruined me," Amy said sadly, adding the proffered oil.
"You look terrible honey," Nancy said sympathetically when Amy descended the stairs later that morning; showered, dressed and ready for school.
"I think I heard that somewhere already," Amy said with uncharacteristic sarcasm, grabbing a muffin she moved to the door.
"Are you sure you don't want to take the day off?" Nancy asked in her full worried-motherly tone. "Joni said you weren't doing so well outside this morning.
"I feel much better now," Amy said honestly, continuing to the door. "I think the shower fixed me."
"Okay…" Nancy wasn't convinced, but she didn't argue further, she only followed Amy onto the porch. "Just call if you need someone to pick you up, I'll come out as fast as I can."
"Sounds tempting, I do have a math test before lunch… but I'm fine, really," Amy smiled warmly before shouldering her bag and heading in the direction of her bus stop.
She had seen her reflection after her shower. Even though the hot water had taken away the unease she'd felt outside, it could not erase the purple bruises forming under her eyes from lack of sleep. She was still pale from her episode that morning, but the cold air would quickly rectify that.
If only Ty would hurry up. She thought warily as she climbed onto the bus and took her seat with Soraya.
"You look like –"
"Like a wreck?" Amy finished for her friend and she began picking at her muffin.
"I was going to say a train wreck, but same thing. He's not coming home yet?" Soraya asked carefully.
"He promised he'd be back before Monday," Amy answered, Soraya's obvious relief reflected in her own tone.
"Is Jack still acting like nothing's happening?" Her friend continued to gently pry.
"He knows, but he's trying to act normal," Amy replied, pausing to chew the sweet carrot muffin. "But I think he's going to have a few choice words for Ty when he gets back."
"I think we all will," Soraya laughed before putting an arm around Amy's shoulder with a theatrically sad sigh.
"I know, I know! This is completely ridiculous," Amy leaned into her friend, closing her tired eyes.
"Young love," Soraya sighed dramatically, lifting Amy's left hand and examining the ring. "Just think, a year from now you two will be stuck together 'til death do you part, a Ty junior on the way, your lives starting… while I'm stuck sitting in a boring three hour lecture learning about some dead guy's theory which I'll promptly forget about as soon as the exam is over."
Amy's eyes shot open but she kept her mouth closed as Soraya talked.
"Our lives sure are going different ways," Her friend continued, not noticing the sudden change in Amy.
"Soraya would you mind coming shopping with me at lunch?" Amy asked as the pair walked to their lockers. She'd half-heartedly listened to her friend's continuous chatter – comparing their futures – while her need for Ty intensified with every mile that brought them closer to the school so she felt sick again. A very different sick from earlier that morning.
"Sure. Are you finally going to get another pair of shoes?" Soraya teased, toeing Amy's dusty old school runners.
"Something like that," Amy said offhandedly, stowing her jacket in her locker.
"I'll meet you back here," Soraya confirmed eyeing her friend as Amy wandered off in the direction of her first class.
Rather than pulling into the room five minutes early, Amy continued down the hall to the girl's washroom, which was blissfully vacant. Turning her back to the door, she pulled out her cell phone and dialed.
"Hello?" His voice asked in her ear.
"Ty?" Amy's voice sounded smaller than she wanted it to, but she couldn't help it. A tear slid down her cheek.
"Amy," Ty sighed. She could tell by his tone that he had been thinking of her and that he had wanted to talk to her. "Are you alright?" He hadn't missed her tone either. "Shouldn't you be in school?"
"I am," Amy answered, sitting on the counter between two sinks.
"Is everything ok? What's wrong?" Ty asked, worry evident in his voice.
"I miss you," Amy replied. She hadn't actually said that to him yet. She'd tried to keep her needs from interfering with his family issues, but she couldn't wait any longer. Not anymore. "When are you coming home?" Another tear escaped her eye.
"I was going to call you later today," Ty answered quickly. He knew something was wrong on Amy's end. He's so perceptive. "I bought a ticket today, I'll be back tomorrow afternoon."
"What about your mom?" Amy asked, trying to mask her relief.
"She said its okay. Brad's not talking to me," His voice hardened.
"Ty –" Amy started, her voice sympathetic.
"No Amy, I'm coming back," Ty said firmly. "We're not going anywhere but backwards here…" He paused. "I miss you."
Amy's breath caught painfully in her throat as she heard the sadness in Ty's voice. "Ty I th–" Amy started but the sound of a bell – a warning that there was only two minutes before she was late for class – cut her off.
"You're going to be late," Ty's reminder was gentle. "I'll talk to you later."
"I love you," Amy whispered.
"I love you more," Ty replied.
"Prove it," Amy challenged.
"I will the second I see you," Amy could hear the grin in Ty's voice. "Bye."
"Bye," She said softly, listening to Ty hang up before flipping her phone closed.
"Tell me you're joking!" Soraya groaned. A light wooden door separated her from Amy as she waited outside the convenience store bathroom.
"I wish I was," Amy said, emerging from the room, her head hanging as she kept her eyes trained on the yellow industrial linoleum.
"How could –" Soraya started.
"I didn't even think of –" Amy cut her off.
"You should have been paying more attention in health class!" Soraya finished her thought in exasperation.
Amy dropped her head to her hands, shaking her head. Her eyes stayed dry. Now was not a time for tears.
"What did it say?" Soraya asked gently.
"There's still another half-a-minute," Amy answered, looking up as her friend wrapped her arms around her. Amy rested her head on Soraya's shoulder and sighed.
"Amy, you're my best friend. I'm here for you no matter what that thing says," Soraya reassured, taking Amy's hand and leading her back into the bathroom.
"Thanks," Amy nodded. Swallowing hard she picked up the slender indicator. Her eyes fell on the small cross and she sank down onto the toilet lid. "Oh no," She groaned, dropping the test and hanging her head again.
OK! so I'm slow. yeah. I know. BUT I have the next few chapters done so I'll post this one, let you all fill up the review pages and then when I get back to the internet on Tuesday night, I'll post another one!
thanks to 'MoriaRownlands222', 'xxkristeen' and 'Alf08' for the encouragement