Hello- sorry it's taken me so long, but here it is, finally. Don't worry, this ISN'T the end, it will be continued (hopefully within the next year- I'm normally much quicker than this). Thanks so much for reading and reviewing the previous chapters, and thanks, as always,to my wonderful beta Holly (happyeverafter72).
xxGee

Heart to Heart

Ray watched as Alex stumbled up the stairs exactly like she had done last night, and the night before that, and every night since he'd tried talking her into enjoying this place. Most of the others had learnt to ignore it- Nelson said he'd seen people like that before, and that they'd come round in the end; but Ray didn't believe him. Why sould he? He wasn't a psychiatrist, or psycho-whateverist like Alex, but he could tell that she was broken. Sure, he'd seen her in pretty bad conditions before, but it had never been this bad. There had always been a flicker of hope in everything she did, which is why she'd fought so hard, but she didn't fight anymore. She didn't shout, she didn't disagree, she didn't argue; and it broke his heart to see her like this.

After several minutes of staring absently at the stairs, Ray turned to look at the main group of men playing darts while Shaz and Annie sat in a corner, chatting and occasionally laughing at Sam and Chris, who didn't seem to be doing very well. Alex would've got on so well with Annie; he could just picture her sitting there with the other girls, talking complete gibberish, laughing, perhaps even arguing with them a bit; just doing everything she used to do, being everything she used to be.

"Ray, it's your round, mate!" DI Carling looked up to see Chris and the other men staring at him expectantly. Couldn't they see that he wasn't in the mood for drinking? He knew it was strange- the great Raymondo had never said no to a pint, but this was different. This wasn't any pub- it wasn't the gorgeous, perfect haven it had been back in the day. It used to be an escape from everyday life, but now there was no everyday life to escape from- so what was the point?

Shaking his head at the others, and trying to look as light-hearted as possible, he replied.
"Nah, I think the eggs I had at brekkie were funny; don't feel too well. Think I'll knock off." With that, he got up and walked up the stairs, knowing that everyone was staring at him just as they'd stared at Alex that first night. For once, though, he didn't care what people thought- he had far more important matters on his mind.

He didn't go to his room. Instead, he knocked softly on the door next to is. He wasn't expecting her to answer, so he was surprised when it opened and Alex peered out cautiously, opening it wider when she saw it was him.
"Hello." Her voice sounded strange- she hadn't spoken to him (or anyone, for that matter) for days, so it was hoarse and uneven, barely louder than a whisper- but it was somewhat brighter than it had been last time he'd heard it. She was clearly surprised to see him, but also somewhat pleased, as if she'd been waiting for someone to come and talk to her.
"Hi- are you busy?" This was the most awkward conversation he'd had in ages- he wasn't used to dealing with people in such terrible conditions. He wasn't used to dealing with people who meant this much to him.
"What do you think?" For a moment, Ray could've sworn that he'd heard an echo of the old Alex. He could've sworn he saw a playful, flirtatious spark in her eyes, although he knew it wasn't possible...was it? He didn't know how to react; he was generally great with women, but this was different. What did he think? Surely she wasn't busy- but he was frightened of assuming that she wasn't and embarrassing himself.
For God's sake, Ray, stop being such a bloody wuss!
"I think lots of things." He replied, faking a smile- it was the worst chat-up line he'd ever used, if it even counted as a chat-up line, but he couldn't think of anything better. After a few seconds of awkward silence, he plucked up the courage to ask her. "Fancy a cuppa?" His voice was casual, and he noticed a flash of confusion in Alex's eyes- not that it surprised him. He knew how harsh he'd always been on her in the past, and it was only natural for her to be puzzled by such an offer. For a second, he thought she was going to shut the door and leave him standing there alone in the corridor, but she didn't. Instead, she stepped away from the door, opening it more to let him in.
"Sure- I was just making myself one." Her voice was full of hope and gratitude; she'd been waiting for someone to come and talk to her, and she'd been starting to give up on that ever happening.

Ray stepped into the room, immediately noticing the television- a large flat-screen which was evidently from the late 2000s- opposite a sofa identical to the one in her old flat above Luigi's. The general style of the room was very similar to her old flat, though it was more feminine and several items appeared to be from Alex's time. The living area, which also contained a kitchenette, was separated from the living area by a half-wall, so Ray couldn't see the bed properly, although he caught a glimpse of a red duvet.

Alex walked over to the kitchen unit and handed Ray the mug of tea she'd just made before pouring herself another. It was the herbal tea she's always had in CID- for some reason, during that time in Limbo, she'd gone off the 2008 tea- or perhaps she just needed to hold on to the memories of CID she had left by keeping her after-life as close to her old routine as possible.

She walked over to the sofa and sat down, gesturing for Ray to do the same. Several minutes of awkward silence passed- Ray couldn't quite pluck up the courage to talk. He'd made a huge breakthrough by actually getting her to talk, he didn't want to ruin it now, so he waited for her to start the conversation. After another thirty seconds, Alex took a sip of tea before speaking.
"How come you're not downstairs with the others? I thought there was a darts tournament on tonight." Her voice was different now- warmer, as if the tea had had some magical effect on her throat.
"That was last week, Alex." Ray replied gently. He hadn't realised quite how absent Alex had been recently, although he forced himself to believe that it was a perfectly easy mistake to make, seeing as there were so many darts competitions on and they were often re-scheduled at the last minute.
"Oh." As the simple syllable escaped Alex's lips, Ray suddenly realised that she looked much younger. It was strange- he'd been expecting her to look aged, thin and weak, but she didn't. Of course, she didn't look flawless either- it wasn't like, all of a sudden, she'd gone back to looking twenty; she looked like a little girl. The dim light made her eyes look darker and wider, and there was a strange look in them- not stressed, as he'd been expecting, or broken- just lost. Like a child who'd just been told that daddy wouldn't be coming home for reasons far too complicated for her to understand. It wasn't a sad look, she looked as if she was confused, and guilty for not understanding. Ray felt an unexpected pang of affection and protectiveness.
"Annie and Shaz were asking about you. Maybe you should go down and have a drink with them?" He suggested casually. He hated seeing her so lost, so lonely; and right now she looked completely defenseless- however, the second he spoke, her expression changed. She looked annoyed, almost angry.
"Maybe you should stop trying to tell me what to do?" She snapped back irritably.

Her reaction should have upset Ray, but it didn't. Instead, it made him extremely happy- there was still a spark in her, she was still the fiesty, impossible DI she always had been. At the same time, though, it made him realise how much he wanted her to be happy- how much he cared about her.
"Look, Alex, I don't like it much here either; you've got to make an effort." It was true- he had no idea how he'd managed to stay here all this time without Chris and Shaz and all his other mates noticing how much he hated it. Alex nodded, smiling slightly- at least she wasn't the only one who hated the place. The problem was that she had been making an effort- she'd tried so hard to make herself like the pub, but she couldn't. Everything she did reminded her of Gene- she couldn't forget him, no matter how hard she tried.

Ray gave Alex an encouraging smile- the kind he'd give to a young lost child, as that was exactly what she looked like right now, despite the fact that if they were to stand up, Alex would be taller than him. Carefully, as if he were touching a corpse, he reached forwards and stroked her shoulder gently.
"Do you think you can do that for me? Do you think you can just try, tomorrow morning, to come downstairs with a smile on your face?" Alex nodded, avoiding his eyes. Ray leaned forwards, cupping her face in his hands and turning her to face him- and before either of them knew what was going on, their lips connected in a tender but passionate kiss.