Hey, sorry for being an idiot and taking a break. I am hoping I can get chapters up faster now.

Valeesha was shaking her head. "Driving around the famous Commander Shepard and all of his goons. I haven't had this much fun since I was a hundred 'n' thirty."

"What happened then?" asked Shepard.

"I was a pilot in the asari military. Transferred to a ship named the Delphina. Captain was an asari Spectre. She always liked to get drunk right before reporting to the council. Said it was less painful that way." Valeesha chuckled. "Those were some good times."

Shepard laughed. "Wish I'd thought of that."

Thane glanced back at the couple. "I suppose you want to know why you were attacked by the hanar."

"It can wait. We haven't had a chance to chat in a while, Thane."

Tali smiled, remembering how her husband always liked to visit with the Normandy's crew.

"Very well. What would you like to discuss?"

"Have you seen your son lately? How is he?"

"Kolyat is doing well. He finished his community service for Captain Bailey and returned to Kahje. He joined the police force there."

"That's great!"

"Yes. I admit it wasn't what I had in mind for him, but considering what almost happened..." Thane paused and stared out the window. "I am proud of him."

Tali sat forward. "And your treatment is going well, I take it?"

Thane nodded, even smiled a little. "I am told I will make a full recovery in two weeks."

Shepard clapped him on the shoulder. "Glad to hear it, Thane."

"Thank you."

They were silent for a while, though Shepard knew he would have to find out sooner or later.

"Okay. Tell me about these hanar. Does it have something to do with the Protheans? I thought we'd already dealt with that."

"That seemed to be the most reasonable conclusion at first."

"You don't sound so sure."

"As you know, I've lived many years with the hanar. If they wanted to kill you because of the Enkindlers, a drell assassin would have been more appropriate. The behavior of the hanar we saw today was... unusual. They were too aggressive. Too dramatic. Particularly with their outfit.

"I found something else that was rather unusual." Thane reached into his jacket and withdrew a broken object. "One of their glasses. It has a hidden camera and speakers for recording sound along the arms."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "They were recording it?"

Tali plucked the glasses from Thane's hand and started fiddling with the pieces. A few minutes later she tapped on her omni-tool.

"The camera is completely shattered so I can't find what they were looking at. But I managed to get an audio clip out of it."

When the clip started it sounded like wind was hitting the speakers, and it was difficult, but not impossible, to make out the voices.

"This one is cold. We have been waiting for an eternity. May we start now?"

"No. The Rogue wants us to wait until we see them." They were hanar voices, though the minimal difference in tone made it difficult to distinguish exactly which was speaking.

There was a long pause.

"They are present. Remember, do not inflict terminal damage."

Another pause.

"Malo."

"Oh, I forgot." The hanar started to speak as though reading from a script. "There he is. The noble Commander Shepard, the Rogue's archenemy. Take him down."

Loud gunfire followed, which became consumed by static and drowned out the last of the audio clip.

"... follow... -em. Do not... injure-"

Tali shut down her omni-tool. "I think this is when they were outside our window. It sounded like they wanted us alive."

Shepard looked at Tali, guessing by the tilt of her helmet that she mirrored his perplexed face. "I'm more confused now than before. They said something about 'The Rogue'. Who is that?"

Thane remained silent as he stared out the front window, but Shepard knew his old friend was deep in thought.

Valeesha, who had been respectfully silent throughout the conversation, glanced in the rearview mirror before speaking. "We're almost there."

"Where are we going?" Shepard asked.

"Liara owns many properties throughout Illium. She wants to move you to one of her apartments on the outskirts of Nos Astra. It's not very crowded there so you'll be less likely to draw attention to yourselves."

Shepard and Tali looked out the window. They were no longer flying through large skyscrapers, but over buildings that looked to be around five stories tall.

"It's also very hot in this area," Valeesha added. "One of the reasons it's less populated. It's better to stay inside so you can avoid the heat."

Their black car came to rest on the roof of an elegant but worn down structure. The couple stepped out after the doors opened and Shepard was already starting to sweat.

"Can I borrow your suit?" He asked Tali. She winked at him before looking back at Thane who remained in the car.

"I'm going to Liara to report on what happened," he explained. "Then we will investigate and find out what the hanar plans are. In the meantime, I suggest you stay inside this building until you hear from us."

The doors closed and the car took off before either of them could reply. The two watched the car fly away.

Shepard broke the silence first. "Some honeymoon, eh?"

"Yeah. You have to admit, though. Fighting hanar is better than fighting Reapers."

"I was thinking about our lack of a clean room." Shepard sighed dramatically and looked off into the sky. "Now what am I going to do with myself?"

Tali laughed and punched him lightly on the arm. "Don't think of much else, do you?"

Shepard looked over at her and smiled as his arm went around her waist. "Can you blame me?"

A familiar yet unexpected voice came behind them.

"Look at'em. Chirping like two little love birds. Makes me sick."

Shepard and Tali flew apart like a pair of electrons and turned to find Zaeed and Garrus standing side by side.

Garrus chuckled and looked at Zaeed. "Remember they used to do that on the Normandy when we caught them? And we all pretended we didn't know what they were up to."

Zaeed nodded. "Yeah. My favorite was that time the women's bathroom was locked and when you walked by, you could hear EDI telling Shepard he was in the wrong place. Heh. Miranda was pissed."

"I heard that."

Climbing out of a trap door to the rooftop, dressed as ever in skin tight clothes, was Miranda herself. She strode purposefully toward the group.

"Enough bantering. Come on. We need to get them inside in case they were followed."

"Wait, wait, wait." Shepard finally found his voice and stepped forward with his hands up. "What the hell are you all doing here?"

"Nice to see you, too," Zaeed grumbled.

"I'll explain when we're inside," Miranda replied. "We have a change of clothes for both of you that I suggest you put on."

"And you can borrow my razor. Looks like you missed a spot." Zaeed didn't even crack a smile.

...

Shepard found black pants and a black sweatshirt while Tali exchanged her purple cloth for a black one.

Tali tugged the hood over her helmet. "I'm starting to wonder if they're just here to humor themselves."

"Maybe."

When they left the bathroom they found Garrus waiting for them.

"Hey, I thought you would be with Nylia," said Tali.

"She had to return to duty. Sounds like you two need me more anyway."

"So what's going on?" asked Shepard.

"Remember at the carnival when I told you I was there as your bodyguard?"

Tali nodded. "I thought you were kidding."

"Actually, at the time, I thought it was all a joke, too. The Council thought you might be in trouble. So, naturally, they sent me to investigate and I told Liara about it so I could get more information."

"The Council?"

"Their assistants told them they were getting numerous messages from someone claiming to be a Spectre."

Shepard's brow wrinkled. "If it was a Spectre, they wouldn't have to go through the assistants to get to the Council."

Garrus nodded. "My thoughts exactly."

"So where do I come in?"

"The messages were threatening to blow up the Citadel if they didn't give up your location. The assistants figured it was coming from a hanar because the messages were always very polite and most species don't bother with manners when they're threatening you. The Council probably would have ignored the threat if they weren't still shaken up by the Reapers' attack."

Shepard ran a hand over his head. "So they told them where I was." Cowards.

"And sent me to keep an eye on you... and hopefully catch whoever was sending the messages."

"Why didn't you tell us about this?" Tali asked.

"Nobody wanted to disrupt your honeymoon. You guys haven't had a break in a long time. But our mistake was that nobody really expected the hanar to be planning to hurt you, or that there was more than one. Honestly, Shepard, you've survived a lot worse. I was just planning on hanging out with you two for a while."

"There was that one hanar," Tali offered. "The one that went after you."

Garrus suddenly looked panicked and threw his hands up. "Shhh!"

"What?" Zaeed stepped into the room. Obviously he'd been eavesdropping. "You didn't tell me about that."

"It wasn't important," Garrus said defensively.

"Never underestimate the hanar. Didn't I tell you about that time-"

Tali interrupted immediately. "Garrus is right. It wasn't a threat to John so it was probably just a coincidence."

"Hmph," Zaeed grunted. "Well anyway, to finish Garrus's story. Liara T'Soni discovered a transport carrying a large number of hanar had recently landed on Illium. She's still ringing her people for not catching that sooner. Apparently there was a lot of weapons on board, including mechs. So she called in those of us who could get here the fastest and sent Thane to get you out of that hotel. Good thing, too. The whole city went mad after they found out you were here. The news has been going on about it all day."

"Speaking of the news..." Garrus brought up his omni-tool. "It's about time for our favorite show. Let's go downstairs."

Shepard and Tali exchanged curious looks as they followed Garrus and Zaeed out of the room.

...

"What is that woman doing on the screen!"

"You're just in time." Miranda was sitting on a couch with her legs crossed. Several other couches and chairs in the room were positioned in front of a monitor showing none other than Khalisah al-Jilani.

Jack was sitting across from Miranda. She acknowledged Shepard and Tali with a careless glance before returning her attention to the screen and continued eating from a bowl of popcorn in her lap.

"Several weeks ago, al-Jilani was promoted to news anchor," Miranda supplied.

Zaeed took a chair close to Jack. "Yeah, and she's been talking crap about you the whole time. Probably to get back at you for making her look bad. She thinks she's safe in that newsroom." He reached for the popcorn but Jack raised a biotic fist.

"Bitch," he growled. Jack sneered at him.

Garrus came to stand beside Shepard and Tali, neither of whom were interested in sitting down. "Okay, tell her we're ready."

"Tell who?" Shepard asked.

"You'll see. Is it recording?" Garrus looked at Miranda.

The ex-Cerberus woman nodded. "Of course." Miranda raised a hand to the radio in her ear. "They're here. Do it now." She paused. "Okay, well, figure something out before the commercials."

Meanwhile Tali's eyes narrowed as she listened to the hated reporter.

"...recently married to Commander Shepard. Quarians have already been labeled as thieves and beggars before reacquiring their home planet. It seems they are now intent on stealing the eligible men of other races. As for the Savior of the Galaxy himself, where is he now? Coming up next we will discuss his possible whereabouts and why I am always such a lying, fat ugly bi-"

Khalisah's speech came to an abrupt halt and she stared horrified at the camera.

Shepard raised his eyebrows and glanced at his wife, who uncrossed her arms and stared intently at the screen. Everyone else in the room was fighting smiles.

"I... I'm sorry there appears to some... problems with the teleprompter."

"It's telling the truth?" Tali said quietly.

Garrus couldn't help it anymore and burst out laughing, but was quickly shushed by the others. He pinched his mandibles closed and breathed deeply through his nose.

"The best part's coming," Jack said, leaning forward eagerly. Zaeed managed to pluck a few pieces of popcorn unnoticed.

Khalisah was shuffling papers busily, too flustered to continue. The microphone attached to her collar started drifting away from her of its own will. When it was pulled out to the side a voice drifted through the speakers that forced a smile out of Shepard.

"Happy Honeymoon."

The microphone dropped and a feminine figure with a dark hood materialized on the edges of the screen, her arm already pulled back. Khalisah shrieked just before Kasumi's fist rammed straight into her nose.

The reporter's head snapped back as she flipped over in her chair, her feet flying above the desk before she somersaulted out of the screen. Kasumi had already disappeared as the monitor went black.

The bottled up laughter finally exploded within the room.

"You don't hit someone like that unless it's personal!" Zaeed choked out.

"Rewind it!" Jack demanded.

They watched it several more times until even Miranda was tearing up.

Shepard felt a tug on his arm and looked behind him to see Tali pulling on him. He glanced once around the room to confirm everyone was distracted and the couple quickly retreated.

They were about to shut the door behind them when Jack yelled "Hey!"

Shepard and Tali froze, feeling a bit disappointed before-

"Don't touch my popcorn!"

A loud bang and a gruff shout followed.

"Let's go." Shepard grabbed Tali's arm and they exited the building.

By the way, if you happen to have an idea of where I'm going with the hanar, please try not to give it away. Thanks :D