Five minutes earlier:

Danny Tanner walked into the kitchen from the front room, where he'd been spending several hours of his Saturday at home tidying up, including using a lint brush on the sofa cushions for a truly immaculate effect. Seeing his children seated at the kitchen table busily occupied in their own weekend activities (Michelle coloring, Stephanie playing with her Barbies, and Donna Jo working on a school report), their father said cheerfully, "Girls, it's time for lunch. Take your stuff off the table, and I'll start getting things ready. Have you seen your uncles?" That last question had been directed to his oldest child looking up from closing her notebook, as the other girls also started picking up after themselves.

"They're downstairs in their office, Daddy," replied a bubbly Donna Jo. "We've been hearing them trying to find a rhyme for 'hamburger and fries' for the last fifteen minutes." She smiled at her father chuckling to himself over his best friends' attempt to come up with a successful advertising jingle for their latest commission involving a local chain of fast-food restaurants.

"They must be really hungry by now," dryly commented Danny. "Go call them up here; I'll put down the tablecloth."

As the man went to the proper kitchen counter for this furniture cover to catch any stray crumbs of food that might mar the gleaming polish he'd lovingly applied to the top of the table a few days ago, his daughter obediently went to the head to the basement stairs, and she hollered down into the small workplace of Jesse Katsopolis and Joey Gladstone: "Guys, lunchtime!"

In the basement, out of sight, but not out of hearing, a guitar being idly strummed abruptly stilled, with a man's voice then arising from the depths to warily ask, "Are we having a hamburger and fries?"

A giggling Donna Jo managed to whoop in answer, "No!"

"Oh, good. I was really starting to hate those words," ruefully said the unseen man, ending his statement with an emphatic twang from his guitar.

"Jesse, I told you that we should have taken the job for Pirate Pete's Café, Home of the Most Delicious Fish Ever," rebuked another male voice from the basement that sounded to be the same age as the first speaker, albeit a bit more cheerful, as was promptly demonstrated by the next enthusiastic declaration. "After all, you can't go wrong with the word 'fish' 'cause there's so many rhymes for it - dish, wish, accomplish-"

"Squish."

The second voice now said in a completely baffled tone at what it had just been sourly told by their musically-talented friend, "Squish? Why would we want to put that in a radio ad?"

The first voice then mock-snarled, "I mean, that's what I would have done to your head if you'd actually signed us up for that job! The guy with the fake eye patch wanted to pay us our weight in fishsticks!"

In return, the second voice pointed out in a somewhat hurt tone, "But I like fishsticks."

"You are a fishstick."

Gleefully eavesdropping to the normal affectionate bickering of their uncles downstairs, the girls were snickering together as they began to leave the kitchen, taking their stuff upstairs to their bedrooms, to then come back down for lunch. Also listening with a smile on his face, Danny carefully laid his ironed, snow-white tablecloth upon the now-cleared table, making a few final tweaks to adjust the cover into the just-right position, and he then took a step back to appreciate the pure whiteness of this sheet that had been thoroughly laundered into a state of hygiene matching that of a surgical blanket.

The sound of footsteps coming upstairs to the kitchen caused Danny to casually glance over and then see the handsome face of Jesse, his brother-in-law, arise into view during that man's ascent of the staircase. Following right after, to be seen over Jesse's shoulder, was a taller man possessing the jovial features of Joey, best friend of Danny and Jesse since grade school and honorary uncle of the Tanner girls. During all this, none of the people in the house knew that their lives would alter for the better in the very next moments.

BANG!

The back door of the kitchen into the rear yard was abruptly flung open to smash against the inside wall, as a small, indecorous, feminine hurricane in the form of an energized young girl with a thrilled look on her face now burst into the room, wildly brandishing something in her right hand during her excited sweeps of that arm, all while bellowing in a piercing screech at the top of her lungs. "DEEJ, YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS-!"

A lot of things happened in the next few seconds. Not for Danny and the girls, though; they stood there frozen in their tracks at witnessing the usual over-the-top entrance of one Kimmy Gibbler, both Donna Jo's BFF and next-door neighbor, who always tactlessly took these facts as the perfect excuse for barging into the Tanner house whenever she pleased. Most of the inhabitants of that home had resignedly accepted that this gaily-inconsiderate girl would be around them forever, but one man was still grimly fighting the good fight, and in the coming days, Jesse would feel truly vindicated about his determination to keep Gibbler as far away from himself as possible.

Not that Jesse was thinking about this at that exact second; instead, the man still in the middle of coming up the staircase was regarding with sudden, utter horror Kimmy's hand tightly holding some kind of pure black object that looked really, really hard and was coming right at his nose with all the speed of that girl's flailing arm as she kept barreling into the kitchen, completely unaware of a flinching Jesse standing in the staircase at her right side. Desperately attempting to keep from being clouted in the face (*not the face!*), Jesse threw up his hands to catch or block whatever Gibbler was going to wallop him with, only to forget to pay sufficient attention to the rest of his body, which was occupied with other things. Such as being in the process of climbing some steep stairs.

Jesse's right foot was about to come down on a tread, the horizontal part of a step, until distracted by everything else, the man stomped down that foot much too hard while trying to brace himself, causing his boot to skid backwards off the edge of the tread and finally lose his balance, for once and all.

With his hands still coming up to shield his face at the same time Jesse felt himself beginning to fall backwards, the man made another bad decision, as he promptly latched onto Kimmy's right wrist with both of his hands in a frantic attempt to hang onto this in order to regain his balance. That did keep a falling Jesse from being punched in the face, but any momentarily relief he might have felt about this was immediately wiped out by the abrupt realization of the grave consequences of this. Namely, what was about to happen to someone weighing over twice as much as the young girl he'd just grabbed and was still pointlessly holding by her wrist.

Kimmy's ebullient shout at her friend changed into a strident shriek of pure fright, as she was taken totally by surprise at being yanked off her feet and pulled into the basement staircase, to now begin her toppling descent along with Jesse. Though, even then, that girl along with the rest of the house, managed to hear an even shriller scream of ultimate terror by Joey lower down on the stairs at seeing what was coming directly at him. In the next instant, this struggling stand-up comedian was swept up and carried along by the fleshly avalanche, that in its thudding journey of bouncing along the steps downwards to the hard basement floor, caused the entire house to shake.

When things finally quieted down, the utter silence ensuing from the basement made Danny and the girls at last break out of their shock over everything that had happened in the last couple of seconds, to then promptly rush towards the stair doorway and stand there, peering down the steps at the tangle of unmoving bodies piled up at the foot of the stairs.

Just as all of the worried onlookers up in the kitchen were drawing in their breaths, about to start simultaneously demanding if anyone was hurt, offering to call the hospital, asking if they were really dead down there, and claiming dibs on their lunch, their beginning outburst were abruptly cut off by a very deadpan voice coming from below them, dryly asking, "Brother Jesse, would that large object digging into my cranium be by any chance your elbow in my ear?"

An equally sarcastic voice then replied, "I'm afraid so, Brother Joseph. Permit me to remove it at once, and perchance could you also shift your knee from my stomach?"

"It would be a honor, Brother Jesse."

"Think nothing of it, Brother Joseph."

Just as Danny and his daughters were sighing in relief, a loud feminine yelp of pure outrage blasted up from the basement.

"YOU JERKS BUSTED UP MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT!"