Disclaimer: I do not own these boys or the Saw franchise.

Authors Note: OK…so this one is kind of angsty too. But there is ice cream and body parts involved so I hope that makes up for it! And it is their first big fight…can't do that without a bit of angst. Thanks for all of the reviews so far. I love getting feedback of all kinds. Oh, and happy new year everybody!

First Fight

Lawrence planned to surprise Adam. He had come home from work early with a grocery bag full of hot dogs, buns, all the necessary condiments, and french fries – the kind that go in the oven. It was Adam's favorite meal and one he rarely had anymore since Lawrence had been trying to make them eat healthier. Working at a hospital full of patients with high cholesterol, massive heart attacks, and high blood pressure does take its toll on the appetite for junk food and Lawrence wanted both of them to be around far past the age of most of his patients who didn't make it.

Truth was, this particular day wasn't anything special. It was just an average day for both men. However, there was the tiny detail that Lawrence needed to spring a surprise on Adam that he was certain he wouldn't like. In fact, it would probably cause him to implode in a way that he hadn't in awhile. It had taken Lawrence some time to consider the idea before bringing it up, as he wasn't even certain it was the best idea. The conclusion he came to, though, was that it had to be done at some point and the earlier the better.

When he heard the front door close he took a deep breath and mustered up everything he had to go through with the plan. He heard Adam dropping his camera equipment in its usual spot in the living room and his heavy footsteps, which always puzzled Lawrence as Adam was so small, echoed throughout the apartment until he appeared in the entrance to their kitchen. He instantly startled and tried to grab the nearest object in self-defense – which happened to be a rolling pin.

"Adam, it's just me." He held his hands up in surrender and waited until Adam caught his breath.

"Christ Lawrence, you scared the shit the out of me, man." He leaned back against the counter top with the rolling pin still in hand. A moment later he donned a sarcastic smile and looked up at Lawrence with his wide brown eyes – effectively making him melt and Lawrence closed his eyes to keep his strength. He dropped his hands and moved closer to the younger man.

"Sorry buddy, I didn't mean to scare you." He paused and looked at the object in Adam's hand again. He found himself laughing lightly as he pointed to it and raised his eyebrows. "What exactly were you planning on doing with that?"

Adam looked down at the clearly forgotten object and laughed with Lawrence. He held it up to display. "You're the doctor here, can't this cause massive head injury or something?" He placed it back down on the counter as Lawrence pulled him into an embrace and kissed him.

This was going to be harder than he thought.

"Maybe. But, for future reference, a knife would be much more effective. Or, any of the self-defense moves I showed you in case of an emergency. Or, just getting the hell out of the apartment and calling the police like we discussed." He didn't mention the gun he kept in a box on the top shelf in the closet. Adam didn't know about that. Until his nightmares calmed down, Lawrence planned on keeping it a secret. He was more concerned that Adam would hurt himself during one of his post-nightmare trances than of any intruder coming in anyway.

"Yes, sir." Adam mocked him with a false salute and Lawrence gave him a smug look in return.

"At least you recognize the authority." He paused and moved over to the food. He turned on the oven and readied the small grill for the hot dogs. "I got off work early today. Thought I'd make dinner and we could talk." He didn't look at Adam when he said it but he knew the younger man was suspicious already. He heard Adam moving around the kitchen, examining the food contents from the grocery bag.

"Hot dogs? Didn't think they were part of the 'live long and prosper' diet." He was still just as sarcastic as ever and Lawrence couldn't help but smile at the goofy terms he came up with. Adam, just like Diana, had the ability to soften him. He swallowed his smile and continued with the preparation. He needed to be firm.

"We can splurge every now and then." He took a deep breath as he placed the hot dogs on the grill. Adam had found the bag of french fries and had started to arrange them on a baking pan.

"Hey buddy, there's something I need to talk to you about." It came out quicker than he expected. His hope had been to fix dinner and eat first as there would be fewer hot or dangerous items for Adam to throw. Adam looked up from the fries, arranged playfully in the shape of an angry face, and gave Lawrence a small curious smile.

"Great, what'd I do now? Forget to empty the dishwasher again?" Lawrence could tell the sarcasm was just a cover up. Adam hated confrontation as much as he got himself into it. Confrontation, especially with Lawrence, seemed to make him more upset than called for. Granted, they hadn't had a real fight yet. It had been the longest Lawrence had gone without a fight in any of his relationships. He suspected it was because they could read each other so well and knew when to approach and when to stand back.

Everything about this told him to stand back. But he couldn't listen, not this time.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Adam." He smiled warmly at the younger man, hoping to calm him. Adam still appeared on edge and was fidgeting nervously with one of the frozen fries on the pan. "It's about your mom. She's been contacting me at the hospital, trying to get a hold of you. She says she wants to talk to you." He bit his lip and closed his eyes – waiting for the next blow to happen. When nothing happened, he chanced a glance to the side to see Adam now leaning against the countertop – both hands supporting him. He had a look on his face that could either mean he was going to destroy the kitchen or cry. Possibly both.

"I'm sorry, buddy. I didn't even want to bring it up but…well she says that it's important and that you've been ignoring her calls. I just think if you call her maybe you could patch things up and maybe have some kind of normal relationship…"

Adam turned around abruptly and looked at Lawrence. There was anger in his eyes mixed with tears that he wouldn't allow to pass through.

"What right do you have to talk to my mother? I never said…" He started but had to collect his thoughts before he finished. Lawrence quickly removed the now cooked hot dogs from the grill and shut it off, preparing for what would come next. Adam put his hand to his head as if in pain. "God, this is none of your business Lawrence."

"She found me, Adam. She remembered me from the news reports and the things you've been telling her about me and she thought I could get a message to you. She's sick Adam, very sick, and she just wants to talk to you. That's all. And I think you should call her…" He heard the anger rising up in his own voice and felt slightly ashamed of it. He had no right to be angry with Adam, but it really wasn't his fault either. He was just delivering a message and he knew Adam would thank him later.

"Right, that's all? You have no idea the shit that she put me through. You have no clue, man." He paced back and forth with urgency and Lawrence saw the hint of tears falling from his eyes. He quickly wiped them away of course. "The last time I talked to her was months ago and, stupid me, I actually thought that she wanted a relationship. I told her all about you and that I had feelings for you and you know what? She told me what a waste I was and how she didn't raise me to be 'one of those people'. Then she told me I was going to hell and hung up the phone."

Lawrence used the counter to support his weight. The woman he had spoken to hadn't come off that way at all. He remembered the sincerity on her face when she said that she had done wrong by Adam and just wanted to apologize to him. It was right after he'd diagnosed her with terminal ovarian cancer. That diagnosis did not leave much room for hope.

Adam finally stopped pacing and crouched down on the floor. Lawrence could sense his anger seething out all around him and knew that he had made a mistake that he couldn't turn back from. Slowly, he stepped out of the kitchen and towards Adam. All he wanted now was to stop the pain that he was dealing with and make it all better. Soon, he was just within a foot of Adam and attempting to meet him at floor level.

"Don't even bother, man. Just leave me the fuck alone." His voice was cold, so cold. Lawrence couldn't remember ever hearing him so angry.

"Adam….I'm sorry." Adam's now cold brown eyes turned up towards Lawrence. They were glassy with tears.

"I asked you to do one thing for me. When we first got together you wanted to be open and honest and all I asked is that you just leave my family to me, let us be who we are and let me deal with my mother." He gestured with open hands. "You want to fix everything, Lawrence." He looked up at Lawrence with pleading eyes. He felt his heart breaking more every second they were connected. "But I'm broken. My family is broken. I'm never going to be perfect. If you want perfect you should just go back to Alison…"

The last sentence was said through a cracked voice. Lawrence knew it was the hardest thing for Adam to say even though he knew that Alison wasn't even close to what he wanted anymore. Adam was right. He was a broken down train wreck and so was his family. Lawrence's reaction was to fix him, make it all better. But maybe Adam was just Adam and maybe his mother was who she was too. Maybe they would never speak again and maybe that would be for the best.

He ignored Adam's original request and knelt down to the floor. He crawled towards the man he loved more than anything and stopped just inches in front of him.

"I love you, Adam. I choose you." He hesitantly reached out until his hand was close to him, but chickened out and placed it on the floor in-between them instead. Adam's words still haunted him and he didn't want to go too far. "I am so sorry if I made it seem like I wanted to change anything about you or your mom. I guess I just…wanted to help. This is your business and whatever you want to do is up to you. I'll be here for you either way." He paused, his own voice cracking now. "If you still want me…"

It was the longest minute of his life – even longer than the time it took to cut his own foot off. It felt the same, too, like somebody was cutting his heart out of his body. If Adam walked out then it would be like loosing the most important appendage in his life and he would not be able to function without him. This he knew.

The single gesture of Adam sliding his hand across the floor and into Lawrence's was the breathe of air Lawrence needed to live.

Adam's smile was the sunlight hitting his face. His next sarcastic comment brought them back to where they began.

"We even fight like women, we must be gay."

Lawrence laughed and pulled Adam towards him. Before he could kiss him, though, Adam had one more thing to say. "Seriously Lawrence, no more of this fixing crap. Promise me."

Lawrence promised with everything he had.

Then they ate hotdogs and fries with a special request for ice cream that Lawrence was happy to oblige -especially when Adam asked him to lick it off of some of his favorite places. They fell asleep afterwards - their first fight over and with plenty of make up sex to follow into the next morning.