Disclaimer: I do not own Saw or these two lovely guys.
Author Note: Hey chainshippers! It's been awhile. I recently started school again and am studying to be an EMT so that means a lot of work with little free time for me. I did manage to write this quick little one shot though. Mostly fluff but with hints of angst on Adam's part. Hope everyone likes it and please review!
Adam had only been out of his home state once in his life. He had been twelve years old and his foster family, the ones who had taken him in after his mother's first stint in jail, had announced that they were planning a big trip to Disney World. The other kids in the house were excited. He even remembered how they all screamed and jumped around like crazed monkeys. He hadn't been as excited – mainly because he'd missed his mom and really didn't give a crap about Mickey Mouse.
He'd always been a cynical child -as those particular foster parents loved to point out.
Still, he'd gone with them. He went so far as to admit that the rides were fun and he enjoyed seeing his foster brother cry when he got sick on the pavement after riding one of the roller coasters. He had it coming after he'd tripped their foster sister and made her scrape her knee. Over all, it was all right for a first and only trip away from home. Better, still, was the day when his foster family gave him back to DCFS after a bunch of kids vandalized their house and Adam was, of course, to blame. He could have told the truth and said that he didn't know those kids who had done the damage, but knowing that it would get him out of that house and back with his mother, he was eager to take the fall.
Adam's second trip out of the state was his first real weekend away with Lawrence. For this trip, he was way more excited. He'd begun packing days early and had even purchased a brand new travel bag for his camera. His favorite shots were the ones he could take from the airplane window and he never missed the chance for a free aerial expedition. The plane ride was, possibly, the only part of his first vacation that he truly loved.
But something was wrong with Lawrence and Adam couldn't figure out what it was. He paced back and forth throughout the apartment the entire morning before they left for the airport. He packed and repacked his bags several times and whenever Adam tried to get him to relax he would just get up again. When the cab arrived to take them Lawrence still appeared distant and Adam found himself slightly worried that maybe this wasn't a trip at all and that Lawrence was just trying to get him out of the house so that he could dump him.
Foster family number two….they'd left him by the side door of the DCFS office after convincing him that they were going to the park instead. They later said it was because he'd fatally injured their cat. He still maintained that it was an accident and that stupid cat just happened to get in the way of his skateboard. Nobody believes foster kids, though.
When they reached the airport and checked in, Lawrence was still restless. They handed their bags over to the attendant and Adam kept a close eye on his companion as they were guided through security. Adam had, of course, set off the alarm so they had to do a full on inspection. He made a joke to Lawrence that the security guy was 'just a friend and he had nothing to worry about' , but he was still too distracted to respond with his usual amused grin.
Finally, when they reached their terminal and found two seats at the far end near the window, Adam had to ask.
"So, not to sound like a paranoid chick or anything, but if you're planning on breaking up with me or killing me and throwing me off the side of the grand canyon, I think I have a right to know now."
For the first time that day, he saw a real smile from Lawrence. The older man looked at him with sincerity, but there was still an apprehension in his light blue eyes.
"You have nothing to worry about, Adam." The spark in his eyes was brief and Adam smiled in return. Lawrence flashed him a coy smile and looked back down. "Besides, if I wanted to kill you I'd do it at home. Less work."
He was relieved to hear the sarcastic comment and nodded in response. "Good point. So, what's up then? Because I'm usually the restless one here and you can't even sit for more than three minutes without a pacing break." He shot a side-glance at his partner, who was currently twiddling his thumbs anxiously. Every few minutes he would glance out the big window at the plane that they would soon be boarding.
"Nothing. I just, uh, had too much coffee this morning." His voice was high in the way it usually was when he was lying. Adam raised his eyebrows in question. He looked away from his partner and down at his bags.
"Sure. You call me a bad liar but, just so you know, you're not much better at it." When only silence followed, he continued. "You know, I can help you with stuff too. I mean, your always helping me when I have nightmares and whatever but I can be helpful too. I can, be supportive or whatever." It was his turn to be restless now as he anxiously fiddled with the zipper on his bag. He could feel Lawrence's eyes on him and, for the first time that day, he wanted them to look his way.
Vulnerability was not Adam's strong suit.
"I hate flying." It was a simple statement said in a hoarse voice from the man sitting next to him. Adam looked up from his bag and stared at Lawrence, who was still looking at him. He was dead serious. He actually hated flying. Dr. Lawrence Gordon, the man who had been to four different countries, was afraid of flying. Adam felt dumbfounded and at the same time grateful to his partner for the honest confession. "I do. Airplanes scare me and no matter how much I try to figure out how they can possibly stay in the sky, I just don't get it." He gestured in an expression of surrender and leaned back into his seat.
"Really? But you've flown like a million times, man. You told me about all of those trips you and Alison took…"
"Yea, we did. I love traveling but the plane….after we're in the air for awhile I'll be fine." Lawrence looked away and went back to twiddling his fingers again. Adam watched him and saw something that he'd never quite noticed in Lawrence before, weakness. Adam always considered himself the weaker one in the relationship because, quite frankly, he was. Slowly, over the course of their time together, Lawrence had become his rock – the one solid structure he ever had in his life. Lawrence was the person he could lean on. Looking at his rock now, so obviously frightened over something that seemed trivial to Adam, made him want to gather all of his strength and be that person for Lawrence. Pursing his lips, Adam reached over and covered Lawrence's shaking hands in his own. Lawrence looked up at him and smiled. He almost looked grateful.
"I remember when I went on my first plane ride. I was really excited. Just the idea of flying was like freedom to me. But my foster sister, she was only five; she didn't like it so much. I remember her covering her ears and crying and how she refused to look out the window no matter how cool I told her it was. She just curled up in this ball in her seat and cried. Then my foster mom, she was actually pretty cool for a foster mom, she picked her up out of the seat and held her and she told her something that kinda stuck with me." Adam paused and looked at Lawrence, who was intently listening to him now. "She told her that the plane was safe and that we were all safe, but that if something did go wrong we would all turn into butterflies and then we could flap our wings and fly safely home. And my sister, she loved butterflies, so she stopped crying right away." He paused to breathe and noticed the small smile on Lawrence's face. "Later, she asked me what color butterfly I would be and I told her that I was going to turn into an eagle instead because they could fly forever and never get tired. "
He felt Lawrence's hands stop shaking and squeeze his own hand back. Their eyes connected and Adam could see the relief already appearing in Lawrence's blue ones. He felt a strange satisfaction in the thought that maybe had had actually, in some small way, helped.
When they called for boarding Adam held onto Lawrence the entire time. Once they were fastened into their seats and the plane started to move, Lawrence appeared nervous again and he gripped the arm rests so tight that his knuckles turned white. Adam removed Lawrence's hands and placed them tightly in his own grasp. Lawrence turned to him and made one simple request.
"Will you tell me that story again?"
Adam was happy to oblige.