Reneslec Chapter 3 Jar of Hearts, a twilight fanfic

Jar of Hearts - Christina Perri

Alec stares at me pleadingly. I turn away from him, covering my mouth with my hand and begging myself not to cry while also screaming at myself to run. Run as fast as I can out of here.

Alec has done it again. He hurt me, shred my heart to pieces with his cruel words and actions, and then came sweeping back in with gentle eyes and desperate pleas and servile praise. I want more than anything to leap into his arms and kiss him and tell him I know he didn't mean it last night when he called me a pathetic member of the yellow-eyed freaks and an embarrassment to him, and then stormed off and hooked up with Heidi.

But I know I can't do that. I really am pathetic if I do. Alec and I are off-and-on constantly since I came to spend some time in Volterra two years ago to learn more about the immortal world. Every time we start up again, it is great for the first week or so. Then things begin to roll downhill. Soon enough I am like some lost puppy trailing after him as he flirts and parties like the royal heart-breaker he is.

Then after usually about a month, he does something to really screw up or I do something small that he blows up at. We break up, run off, and then in less than twelve hours he is begging for me back. Just like now.

I know I can't take one more step towards you
Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most
I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

"Just go away, Alec." I mutter angrily, staring off out the window. Don't look at him, don't look at him, don't look at him! I chant in my head, knowing if I take one glance at his utter perfection I will throw myself at him.

"Don't be like that, Nes." he begs.

"Be like what? Don't be angry? Don't be upset? Do you even remember what you said to me? Then what you did after?" I hiss. He is such a player, a heart-mangler, a love-jockey. Love 'em, and leave 'em. I'm that girl he keeps at his side for good measure. Appearances; a very important thing to Alec. Women; an even more important thing to Alec. Sometimes one gets in the way of the other. And by that I mean I get in the way of his relations with other girls.

"You know I didn't mean any of that. And what happened with Heidi was a huge mistake. I wasn't thinking straight." the sincerity in his voice is so convincing I almost fall for it. Almost. Then I remind myself that he has had a millenia to work on his acting skills.

"Oh, and I assume you weren't thinking straight with Corin, Renata, Chelsea, Tanya, Maggie, Senna, Kachiri, Mary, and Makenna also?"

"They were all mistakes also." he avoids my particular question. I roll my eyes. Of course they were. I suddenly feel his sweet, icy breath on the back of my neck and his fingers trail down my arm.

"Get away from me." I growl, still not turning to face him and trying desperately to shove away my feelings of longing.

"Let's get out of here, Nes. We need a break from all this. It is ruining us. We can go to a private beach or the mountains or the desert or wherever you want. Just you and me." he promises.

"Volterra isn't ruining us. You are ruining us." I counter while taking a step foreword to get free of his touch. I refuse to just relent and roll over. I am getting out of this stupid, hurtful game.

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms
And learn to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

"Don't say that. You don't mean it." he says and I begin wondering if I would be met with a playful grin if I dare turn to face him.

"Will you stop telling me what to do and how to feel? I'm sick of it! I can't do anything around you without being criticized and pushed around!" I fume. I am so angry right now.

"I thought you loved me." he says pathetically. I feel very triumphant that I am starting to see all the bad qualities of him. See that he isn't being truthful and that his lines are corny and overused and that he is overall just a manipulative, scheming, cruel player. He isn't who I thought he was.

"I did love you. And you went and screwed it all up. Why couldn't I be enough for you? Why did you always need to have another girl? Why couldn't you ever compliment me or be romantic on other occasions than when you are trying to win me back?" a tear slides down my cheek and I wipe it away furiously.

"I'm sorry." he says simply. I want to punch his pretty little face in. He's sorry? Really? That's it? Sorry?

"You're harsh, cold, mean, and a liar. You tear me apart, put me back together with cheap duct tape, and then rip off. I'm done with this. I want to feel good again. I want to be happy. I wish I had never met you." I growl, meaning every word of it with my entire being.

"I know I've messed up a lot. And I know you don't deserve any of it. But please, give me another chance. I promise I'll be good this time. I need you back."

"I hate when you promise me things. You never, ever keep your promises. And you're wasting your time here. I'm not coming back to you." I say firmly.

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are
Dear, it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

"Please." he whispers. I turn to face him very abruptly, causing him to flinch back a little. I glare at him, hardly noticing that pesky little thing in my heart crying out for me to kiss his rose-red lips and hold him as tightly as I possibly can.

"'Please' is not going to get me back. 'Sorry' is not going to get me back. 'I promise' is not going to get me back. Nothing is going to get me back. You've left too many scars. I'm catching the first flight back to America." I walk right past him, headed for the doors out of the throne room so I can go to my room and order a ticket home while packing my bags.

He grabs my wrist before I can leave, pulling me to him so there is absolutely no space between us.

"Don't go home. Please don't go. I need you here. I need your warmth, kindness, and love. You are the most beautiful girl in the world, and if you will just let me try again, I will treat you right." he whispers, then leans down and kisses me.

My lips long to kiss him back, but I fight off the urge. I shove him off me with all the force I've got, causing him to stumble back meager four or five steps. Well my strength might me feeble, but it did the trick.

I give him a dirty look filled with malice and hatred, feeling way above him right now. "Keep your filthy hands off me. Who the hell do you think you are?"

And who do you think you are
Running 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?

A/N : Hated pinning Alec as a bad guy, but many people see him as he was portrayed here, so I thought I should throw it in. Still trying to get better at these.-.-