My Life Would Suck Without You - Kelly Clarkson
I growl in frustration, pacing angrily up and down my room. I just got back yesterday from one of my frequent visits to Volterra to see Alec, my boyfriend. I mean, ex-boyfriend. Errgh! That boy is so sweet, funny, romantic, clever, and gorgeous, yet he just gets thrown into these moods and becomes completely impossible! And very, very mean.
He told me I was stubborn and hot-headed and he couldn't stand me. He said he would rather have anyone but me and he is never coming back to me. We proceeded to break up, obviously. Alec and I have had very few arguments in the two-year course of our relationship, and none as big as this one. We've never broken up before. I've never cried this hard over him before, or been this hurt yet so furious.
"Calm down, Nes." I hear Jasper holler from downstairs and a wave of lethargy washes over me. I groan and realize what this has done to me. I am a mess, my hair matted and tangled, my clothes dingy, my face red and puffy.
I take a quick shower, dry my hair which goes into glossy bronze ringlets, and put on a jean shirt, gray knee-high heel boots, and turquoise tank top with a cool beading pattern. I sweep my hair into a pony tail that is like one spiral twisting down a little past my shoulders. I put on some mascara and lipgloss and prance downstairs.
"Where are you going, Nessie?" Mom asks as I bounce into the kitchen.
"No where. I always wear things like this around the house." I look at her like she's crazy. Alice would never allow me to wear things like what I was just wearing upstairs – Alec's old sweatshirt and a pair of old pajama pants.
"Well, I know, but I just thought that after what happened the other day..." she trails off, quickly busying herself with making me lunch.
"Please. I don't need Alec. I'm so over it." I deliver the biggest lie in the world. I am far from, but if there is one thing Alice and Rose have taught, it's that a dazzling smile and a cute outfit is the best disguise of heartbreak.
"Alright, honey." Mom says, eying me dubiously, not buying a word of it. I sigh and plop down on a bar stool.
"Renesmee!" My father calls a second later from the living room. I slowly get up and trudge in there, putting on a sweet smile as I come into view. He nods towards the front door, and then disappears. Puzzled, I walk over to it and open it up.
Standing on my front porch is Alec with a bouquet of violets in his hand. He smiles boyishly at me, hair disheveled from the wind and black shirt clinging to him from the rain.
"Alec?" I am so confused. What is he doing here?
Guess this means you're sorry
You're standing at my door
Guess this means you take back
All you said before
Like how much you wanted
Anyone but me
Said you'd never come back
But here you are again
"I'm so sorry, Renesmee. I didn't mean a word of what I said. I was upset and angry and being totally irrational. You're the only girl I will ever love, I could never want anyone but you. We belong together." he say sincerely, extending the flower bouquet towards me. I slowly take it, staring at it in confusion as my mind processes his words.
Then like a light bulb going off in my head, I smile at him and he returns it with a radiant smile of his own. I giggle and squeal like the silly teen girl I am, throwing myself at him. He hugs me tightly around my waist as my hands mesh into his soft, black hair. Oh, I could never stay mad at him. He is like a piece of me, my other half. I'm just not the same without him.
'Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
You got a piece of me
And honestly,
My life (my life) would suck (would suck) without you
"I'm sorry, Alec. I was the stupid one. I love you so much." I whisper, tears springing to my eyes but I force them back. "I never want to fight with you again." I breathe, knowing that is impossible. Nothing wrong with dreaming, right?
"I love you too. And at least not like this again." he says as we both pull back. I know I'm rash and ill-tempered (I grew up around Rose and Jake, what do you expect?) and Alec can get pretty bitter because of all he has been through in his many years. But without him, I am nothing, and no matter how grouchy he might get sometimes, I'm not going to let it affect our relationship.
Baby I was stupid for telling you goodbye
Maybe I was wrong for tryin' to pick a fight
I know that I've got issues
But you're pretty messed up too
Either way, I found out I'm nothing without you
Alec and I go back inside, which I've found is deserted. My family knows when Alec and I need some space. I pop in a movie, grab the grilled cheese Mom was making (which I was so hungry I ate in about five bites on the way back to the couch), and snuggle into Alec's side.
"Forever and always, baby." he whispers into my hair as the movie begins.
"Forever and always." I agree.
'Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
You got a piece of me
And honestly,
My life (my life) would suck (would suck) without you
Alec and I have a hard relationship, considering we are very different and live so far away. It is honestly pretty sick and twisted some of the things our love has to fight through. And sometimes I wonder why I even bother, but then several million reasons I could never let Alec go spring to mind. Number one being I love him with everything I've got.
Being with you
Is so dysfunctional
I really shouldn't miss you
But I can't let you go
Oh yeah
"You're so perfect. I can't believe I ever said those things to you." he murmurs as the movie plays on, neither of us paying much attention to it.
"It doesn't matter. It's the past. We're moving forward, right?" I smile up at him, pecking his lips quickly.
"Have I ever told you how beautiful you make my life?" he grins at me.
'Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
You got a piece of me
And honestly,
My life (my life) would suck (would suck) without you
I don't respond, just lean up and kiss him once again, this time longer with more passion. His soft, icy tongue enters my mouth, dancing with mine. I twist myself around so I am straddling him, my hands twined into his hair.
Alec is everything to me. My reason for getting up, for even breathing. He makes things funny and interesting and unpredictable. Without him, my life would really suck.
'Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
You got a piece of me
And honestly,
My life (my life) would suck (would suck) without you