Translations: "Murder the cop tonight." and "I'll be there in five minutes."
"About time, Hidan-sama." Atari huffed once Hidan arrived at the hotel room.
"Sorry, I was eating dinner with Kakuzu and his family." He grumbled. "You got my scythe?"
"Hidan-sama, Eiko-san is asking for you." Suki poked his head in the room.
"Alright. Get the paint ready, Atari, I'll be back in a minute."
Hidan pulled off his black coat and followed Suki to the neighboring hotel room. The woman that Kakuzu had seen breastfeeding on his first day sat on the bed, clutching a bawling baby close to her bosom. She too was crying though tried hiding it when Hidan approached. He stood before her and then held out his arms.
"Is Eiji alright?" He asked quietly as the baby was handed over.
"Y-Yes... I-I shielded him..." She struggled to regain composure and Hidan noticed a bloodstain on her shoulder.
"Did you go for medical treatment yet?" He inquired, patting the child's back.
"Not yet... I don't think it will help..." She choked, moving the cloak Suki had given her aside to reveal another bullet wound to her chest. "I wanted... I want you to take him... if Jashin-sam wills me to recover, I will take him then..."
"I am sure Jashin-sama will heal you in no time." He replied. "Lie down and Suki will call a medic."
"No need. I'm here, Hidan." Sasori appeared in the doorway, equipment in hand.
"Thank you, Sasori." Hidan dipped his head and let the mother kiss her son before leaving. "Suki, let Haruko care for the infant while I'm on this mission. That bastard's day of sacrifice has come."
–
Kakuzu arrived home and was greeted by Ginji the same as always. Jyru had gone to take his date home and had called the house saying he would be home in roughly half an hour. Gina went to the living room to watch the big screen while Kakuzu headed for his office. Half an hour later, a familiar black car pulled into the drive way. It was not Jyru's. The door bell was rung, bringing Kakuzu back down to greet his guest. He was surprised to find Deidara behind the door.
"What are you doing here?" He asked. "Did something happen at the Jashinist church?"
"Zetsu told me you plan on marrying my brother, hm." Deidara replied in an odd tone.
"You what?" Gina sputtered, hearing them from the living room.
"Yes... I do." Kakuzu nodded. "But I need-"
"I know what you need, un." Deidara crossed his arms. "Are you going to invite me in, hm?"
"Of course. Does Sasori-"
"Sasori's gone, un. Kisame and Itachi drove me here. I'll need a ride back home, hm."
He brushed past Kakuzu and headed upstairs. Kakuzu followed, letting Ginji close the door. He took Deidara to his office and locked the door behind him out of habit. Deidara still had a fairly serious expression on his face.
"There was a third thing I wanted to tell you about dating Hidan, hm."
"So you're giving me permission?" Kakuzu asked hopefully.
"Not yet." They fell in an instant.
"Why not?"
"Hidan was sent on a religious mission tonight, hm." Deidara closed his eyes. "Do you have any idea what that means, hm?" He did not wait for an answer before continuing. "You have to swear to me, on your kids' lives, that you will keep him safe, un." Kakuzu opened his mouth but Deidara cut him off with a glare. "Mother wanted me to marry him, you know."
"What?" Kakuzu sat up in his chair.
"She told me that I was supposed to be there for Hidan. It's the only reason she took me in, hm. A plaything for brother."
"How would you know? She died when you were little." Kakuzu scoffed.
"... Sasori took me to see the high priest, hm. Mother was there, on the couch." He inhaled deeply. "I always knew she didn't die, un."
"... You must have felt..."
"I felt a lot of anger at first." Deidara shrugged. "I told her about danna and she said she did not approve of dating an older man, hm." He sighed. "I don't care what she thinks though, un. She abandoned us. Just like my brother abandoned me and I abandoned my brother to go with Sasori, hm. You said Hidan had abandonment issues at his party-"
"I was mainly joking..." Kakuzu frowned.
"Well... He should and now you know why, hm."
"Is there any reason you told me all this?" Kakuzu asked knowingly.
"I just needed to get it off my chest and that's what psychologists are for, hm." He grinned. "Do you really love my brother, Kakuzu-san?"
"Yes. Of course I do."
"Even if I told you he was never pure, un?" Deidara averted the man's eyes now. "Sure he's killed but that isn't the purity I'm referring to..."
"He isn't a virgin." Kakuzu gave a nod.
"... Don't tell him that..." Deidara whispered. "If he finds out that I told you, he would kill me, hm."
"Why?" He frowned.
"He wishes he was still pure. Every day, un."
"... What happened to him?" He inquired softly.
"That gang I told you about... they kept him until he was eleven, hm." Deidara's eyes began to water. "I... don't know exactly what happened for those five years when I was on my own, waiting for brother to return... But when he did, I could guess, hm."
"... How did he...?"
"The high priest, of course." Deidara smiled. "I was the one that found the Jashinists first, not Hidan, hm. I just wasn't as interested in the religion as much as the help they provided, hm."
"You owe them quite a lot then." Kakuzu closed his eyes. "I plan on converting for him, Deidara."
"I know you do." He grinned. "But, the third thing I wanted to tell you... My brother likes it rough in bed, hm."
–
"Kakuzu-sama, emergency phone call from Sasori at Akatsuki." Ginji announced after knocking on Kakuzu's bedroom door.
The man sat up, still somewhat groggy and stumbled over to his desk where the cordless phone was charging. He picked it up and went back to the bed.
"Kakuzu here." He yawned. "What's up Sasori?"
"Hidan wants you."
"Then put him on."
"Um... he's unconscious at the moment..." He replied.
"Shit. I'll be over in a few minutes."
He hung up and then hurried over to his dresser. He pulled on his trench coat and a black mask then hurried out and down the stairs. He was surprised to find Gina was up so early in the morning, brushing her teeth. She waved to him and he told her he had to go see Hidan. She nodded and then he left, grabbing his briefcase on his way out. He drove over to the club and went inside. Kisame greeted him and then led him to the upper level. A door at the very end was opened and that is where Kakuzu found Hidan splayed on a bed, staining it red.
"Hidan!" Kakuzu's eyes widened and he rushed to his lover's side. "What happened?"
"The cop shot him." Sasori explained. "Right before Hidan sliced him up."
"Didn't you have your gun on you?" Kakuzu scowled.
"No. I usually keep it here under the bar table." Sasori frowned.
"Kuzu..." Hidan murmured, turning his head towards Kakuzu whom knelt at his bedside. "What're you doing here? Where...?"
"Shh. Stop talking, idiot." Kakuzu snapped reaching for his briefcase. "You're lucky I'm always prepared..."
He pulled out a first aid kit. It looked like an ordinary one with only band-aids and over-the-counter medicines. Instead, he pulled out a pair of tweezers and scissors, a swab with rubbing alcohol, and a thread and needle. He stood up and frowned when he realized Hidan was covered in black and white paint. He asked Sasori for a wash cloth in warm water and the redhead ran off. He returned after a moment, handing Kakuzu a bucket and wash cloth.
He soaked the cloth and then began to wipe off the paint. Once Hidan was cleaned around the area Sasori had pointed out, Kakuzu saw the bullet wound. He sighed and picked up his tweezers, swabbed it, and ignored Hidan's questions. He made sure he was not gentle with removing the bullet, oddly finding joy in hearing the pained curses that held a little hint of pleasure. Once the object was removed he picked up his needle and thread. He swabbed the tip of the needle and very carefully started to sew the little hole after determining there was no deeper damage.
"I'll heal by tomorrow, you know." Hidan sniffed as Kakuzu finished.
"My father called me on the way over, you know." He returned, picking up another cotton swab. "You were supposed to see him for work today." He ignored the hiss as he swabbed over his stitches.
"Fuck that stings." He whined.
"Would you prefer to get a painfully deadly infection?" Kakuzu snapped, taping gauze over his handiwork.
"Maybe..." Hidan smirked and then fell quiet as his boyfriend did not return it. "Dude, chill. So I got shot. Whoop-dee-fucking-doo. Get used to it." He snarled, getting defensive.
"I don't mind you getting shot up but I'd prefer you warn me beforehand, moron." He shot back.
"Wait... what?" The Jashinist sat up, wincing in the process.
"I don't care if you go after some bastard cop. Just don't get yourself killed and tell me before you go running off to church." He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"How did you...?"
"I put two and two together. You were rushing off to church soon after I was informed that an abusive cop's day of sacrifice was near." He shrugged and then sighed, looking at Hidan long and hard. "I'm glad you are alright." He embraced Hidan then, inhaling the smell of his gelled hair. "I still need to give you that 'gift'."
"Whoa... what gift?" Sasori turned red as the couple turned to him; they had forgotten they were not alone.
"I dunno... Hidan mentioned a gift at dinner last night." He mused. "Come to think of it... what was it you wanted at the church, Sasori?"
"Er... the brat's hand in marriage, of course." He replied.
"What?" Hidan shouted, startling Kakuzu. "You want to marry my baby brother, bastard?"
"Yes. I do and I will." Sasori drawled. "I don't plan on it being a Jashinist wedding so I don't really need your approval although it would be easier if I did have it."
"What kind of wedding are you planning then?" Hidan scowled.
"I'm thinking 'Vegas'." He smirked, dodging a pocket knife. "See you in a few weeks... maybe months."
"Where'd you get that?" Kakuzu asked the steaming Jashinist, staring at the knife stuck in the wall.
"I have them all over the place." Hidan shrugged. "Do you think he was serious?"
"... I wasn't paying attention... hopefully he was joking..."
"Although I wouldn't mind if he did marry Deidara, Jashinist wedding or not. So long as the bitches invite me."
"I'm sure they will, Hidan." Kakuzu began packing his stuff. "Are you ready to go home?"
"Fuck no. I gotta go to work." He made to stand up, wincing once more. "Shit..."
"I can call him and excuse you due to your mental incapability." Kakuzu murmured, pulling ou his phone once his supplies were packed.
"My mental what?"
"Nothing, moron."
"Don't call me a moron, prick."
Kakuzu sighed, handing his briefcase to Itachi whom had come shortly after Hidan's last outburst. His father had not answered the phone and so Kakuzu sent a text before helping Hidan to his feet. Itachi hurried ahead and had Kisame help Kakuzu bring Hidan down the stairs and into the car. Luckily, for him and Kakuzu's back, his rate of recovery enabled him to walk inside. Ginji opened the door, shocked to see Hidan painted black with red splotches along his body.
"Sir...?"
"Where's Gina?" Kakuzu demanded, giving his butler a warning look.
"In her room with Haruko." He answered. "Suki and Atari dropped her off shortly after you left, Kakuzu-sama."
"What about Eiji?" Hidan inquired.
"He's here as well..." He replied, glancing at Kakuzu.
"Thanks. I'm going to bed then." Hidan yawned, heading upstairs.
"Oh no you're not. Not until you take a shower." Kakuzu scolded, following after.
"Tch... I want a bath..." Hidan huffed. "I'm too tired for a shower."
"Too bad. A shower will clean off this crap better." He scowled when they reached their bedroom.
"It's ceremonial paint, bastard, not crap." Hidan hissed. "Makes it harder to identify too."
"Uh-huh..." He murmured, taking off his trench coat after assuring the bedroom door was locked. "Put your clothes in the hamper for Phox and get in the bathroom."
"Yeah, yeah." He grumbled, pulling off his pants and boxers.
"You even painted your..." Kakuzu closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You are insane."
"I'm also in pain." Hidan put on a sly expression. "How about you help clean me off, Kuzu-chan?"
"Fine..." He sighed, pushing Hidan into his bathroom. "Just don't try anything funny. We're not married yet..."
"I know." He groaned, pulling down Kakuzu's mask. "Just shut the fuck up and relax for once."
"Hmph. Like I can with you giving me that look." He smirked, pressing their lips together as he inched towards the shower.
Hidan was startled when cold water hit his back and he clung to Kakuzu. Once the shock had passed and the water began to warm, Kakuzu grabbed a rag laying on the floor. He would not risk ruining his washcloths with that black paint of Hidan's. He paused, pulling the door aside to get a better view of him. He was turned away from Kakuzu, using his hands to wipe off what paint he could. As his pale skin became more visible, the elder pulled off his boxers and joined him in the shower.
Hidan glanced over his shoulder and accepted the offered rag. He rubbed off his torso and arms, occasionally glancing back at Kakuzu as he washed his hair. He then turned around to face Kakuzu, offering the rag. Once his back was cleaned, Hidan took back the rag and bent to wash his legs. Kakuzu inhaled sharply when the other leaned back, his round cheeks rubbing his front. Hidan smirked, hearing the gasp and stood, rubbing against him.
"You owe me for that blow job, Kuzu-chan." He purred.
"Hidan," He growled but pulled Hidan closer. "I said nothing funny..."
"Not even a simple little hand?" He pouted, turning around so their members rubbed together.
"You know I'm a virgin... right?" Kakuzu flushed, trying not to move with Hidan's gentle grinding.
"Tch. Like I care. Best to practice then, right?" He grinned. "'Cause a honeymoon won't be very fun if you can't even do a proper fucking hand job."
Kakuzu scowled and took Hidan's words as a challenge, reaching for the smaller male's hardening member. He gripped it in his hand, stroking him gently at first. Hidan frowned, bucking his hips towards his hand, growling. Kakuzu paused then recalled what Deidara had said. He smirked and then tightened his hold, stroking faster and letting his nails scrape over the skin. He felt Hidan shuddering now and the smaller male let out a pleasured noise. After a moment longer, he began to pant and he came.
"You come faster than I do, Hidan." Kakuzu smirked, wrapping his arms around his waist. "Guess it's just that different from masturbation."
"Tch... carry me to bed..." He mumbled, nuzzling Kakuzu's wet bare torso.
–
"How long do we have to hold this thing?" Gina complained, cradling Eiji in her arms.
"Practice..." Haruko replied, scratching something off in her notebook.
"... I could get an abortion..." Haruko's eyes went wide and she snapped her head up to look at her best friend.
"Don't even think of it! Besides, you'd need Kakuzu's permission!" Gina was surprised at her outburst.
"... Alright. No abortion. Got it..." She glanced down at the child and frowned. "I don't see why girls go gaga for babies."
"Goo-goo-gaga." Haruko grinned, pulling a giggle from the other girl.
"Hey Koko..." Gina waited for the addressed to look at her. "Will you... help me raise it...?"
Haruko dropped her pencil, jaw slack in surprise. Gina looked away, embarrassed by what she had requested. Haruko began to gather her books which brought her attention back to her friend. Gina watched Haruko dip her head as though in apology and hurry out the door.
"... Haruko...?" She took no notice of the tear that made its way down her face.
Thanks: Gabi-Skylar, Meagan222haru-chan, Ikaru Sentinal, onyx sable, PetWolfGirl91, Catgirl vampire, Akatsukifan14, and princessperp. My reviewers, and my dA watchers.