I knew this would just bring more pain. It's saturday, and all i've done is sit in my room, back against the wall, knees tucked into my chest. My face was in my hands, the light was off and the deepest, most painful music was blearing out of my radio.
"Fuck my life", I groaned. Evan just had to piss me off didn't he? I was pissed at him. But I missed him at the same time. I didn't even care about my stupid crushy feelings for him, I just wished he was sitting in my room, writing poems or mocking my fringe again. I picked up my pen knife and flicked it open, looking at the shiny blade. The thought of cutting myself crossed my mind for a moment, but I decided that wouldn't solve anything., instead, I angrily through it across my room, it hit the wall and fell to the floor. I started sobbing angrily. Suddenly I heard my door click open and I quickly looked up to see Henrietta standing in my doorway. I felt shocked and flustered and quickly wiped my tears with my sleeves. Henrietta sighed and walked over to my bed, then sat down on it and patted the space next to her. Reluctently, I stood up and walked over to the bed, keeping my head down to hide my embarrasment. I sat down but kept silent. "Look Dylan," She began, "I know we're all, Goth and non conformist, but stilll, we are human, as much as feelings suck balls, we all have them. I get stupid crushes on lead singers and stuff all the time." I groaned, she knows. That is so fucking embarrasing. "Look." She started again, "I don't know what feelings you have for Evan, but you can't help them, and I don't think it's a bad thing, heck, liking another goth isn't so bad, liking a conforsmist is." I nodded. "But anyway," She looked at me. "I think you should come tonight. I know Evan is just trying to be conformist in a confusing way, but it's not really harming anyone, and I think if he has to be in a place full of conformist assholes, he'd at least want to be there with his best friend." I smiled slightly, remembering the time that Evan entered the dance competition beacuse it would be non conformist for someone like him to do that.
"Okay." I said. "I'll go."
"Good. I'll pick you up at 8:40, okay?" She said.
"Sure, and...thanks."
Henriettea just nodded and left my room. I flopped back on my bed and let out a sigh. I kind of felt better.
It was 8:00 and I decided to get ready. I had a hot shower, then drank a cup of coffee in my underwear, skinny puppy playing in the background. I put on a pair of black jeans, a studded belt and chain. I put on a black shirt, instead of my usual grey one and replaced my trademark purple shoes for leather goth boots. I made the effort to re-paint my nails black as they were chipping, re-apply my makeup and put a studded chocker around my neck. At 8:40 I heard Henrietta drive up to my house. I grabbed a packet of cigarettes off my side table, along with my keys and walked out the door. I walked through the snow over to her the car and slid into th passenger seat.
"Hey, Evan and Georgie said they'de meet us there." I nodded. Henrietta started the engine and started driving to the hall where Wendy was having her party.
"Does your mum know you took her car?" I asked.
"Do I care?" she smirked.
"fair point."
This was just one of the many times that Henrietta had taken something of her Mum's without asking. I didn't blame her, her mum was a conformist bitch.
For the rest of the way there we idoly discussed bands, and things that were non conformist. Neither of us bought up the topic from earlier, which I was quite relieved about. Henrietta pulled up outside a building, and we both got out of the car. I pulled a cigarette out my pocked, I wanted a quick smoke before I went in to calm the nerves I felt building up inside of me. After smoking for a while, Henrietta told me that Evan and Georgie were already inside. I flicked away what was left of my fag and followed Henrietta inside of the hall. There was a disco ball, loud conformist kids in GAP clothes dancing around. It was the most fucking disguisting sight ever. I pinched the bridge of my nose and scowled. I almost regretted coming, but then I noticed Evan and Georgie sitting on a bench in the far corner of the hall. We made our way over to them, I kept my head down. Evan stood up as we approached them. I flicked my fringe out of my eye. "Look Evan, I'm sorry..."
He cut me off. "Don't even worry about it man." He grabbed y arm, and pulled me into the seat next to him. Henrietta sat on the other side of me. We didn't dance with the rest of the kids, I felt that dancing was something you do alone in your bedroom at three in the morning. Instead, we spoke about the usual things, bands, clothing, how much we hate fucking conformists, Henrietta's mum and how retarded twilight is.
After a while, Craig Tucker, and Clyde Donovan came up to us. "So, looks like you guys arn't such pussy conformists after all." Craig smirked.
"No, but you guys are conformist." Said Henrietta.
"Yeah, we still fucking hate you."Stated Evan, giving them the finger.
"Whatever."Said Clyde, and they both walked off.
"We fucking showed them." I said. It was then that I realized a familiar song was playing. Avenged sevenfold-bat country. I would have been pissed off if conformists started liking this song, but looking around, everyone looked really confused. I even heard one kid go "What is this emo shit?" That was a relief. I glanced at Evan and he seemed to be thinking the same thing. I noticed Georgie tapping along to the drum beat, and I started singing along, so did Evan.
"Fuck my life", I groaned. Evan just had to piss me off didn't he? I was pissed at him. But I missed him at the same time. I didn't even care about my stupid crushy feelings for him, I just wished he was sitting in my room, writing poems or mocking my fringe again. I picked up my pen knife and flicked it open, looking at the shiny blade. The thought of cutting myself crossed my mind for a moment, but I decided that wouldn't solve anything., instead, I angrily through it across my room, it hit the wall and fell to the floor. I started sobbing angrily. Suddenly I heard my door click open and I quickly looked up to see Henrietta standing in my doorway. I felt shocked and flustered and quickly wiped my tears with my sleeves. Henrietta sighed and walked over to my bed, then sat down on it and patted the space next to her. Reluctently, I stood up and walked over to the bed, keeping my head down to hide my embarrasment. I sat down but kept silent. "Look Dylan," She began, "I know we're all, Goth and non conformist, but stilll, we are human, as much as feelings suck balls, we all have them. I get stupid crushes on lead singers and stuff all the time." I groaned, she knows. That is so fucking embarrasing. "Look." She started again, "I don't know what feelings you have for Evan, but you can't help them, and I don't think it's a bad thing, heck, liking another goth isn't so bad, liking a conforsmist is." I nodded. "But anyway," She looked at me. "I think you should come tonight. I know Evan is just trying to be conformist in a confusing way, but it's not really harming anyone, and I think if he has to be in a place full of conformist assholes, he'd at least want to be there with his best friend." I smiled slightly, remembering the time that Evan entered the dance competition beacuse it would be non conformist for someone like him to do that.
"Okay." I said. "I'll go."
"Good. I'll pick you up at 8:40, okay?" She said.
"Sure, and...thanks."
Henriettea just nodded and left my room. I flopped back on my bed and let out a sigh. I kind of felt better.
It was 8:00 and I decided to get ready. I had a hot shower, then drank a cup of coffee in my underwear, skinny puppy playing in the background. I put on a pair of black jeans, a studded belt and chain. I put on a black shirt, instead of my usual grey one and replaced my trademark purple shoes for leather goth boots. I made the effort to re-paint my nails black as they were chipping, re-apply my makeup and put a studded chocker around my neck. At 8:40 I heard Henrietta drive up to my house. I grabbed a packet of cigarettes off my side table, along with my keys and walked out the door. I walked through the snow over to her the car and slid into th passenger seat.
"Hey, Evan and Georgie said they'de meet us there." I nodded. Henrietta started the engine and started driving to the hall where Wendy was having her party.
"Does your mum know you took her car?" I asked.
"Do I care?" she smirked.
"fair point."
This was just one of the many times that Henrietta had taken something of her Mum's without asking. I didn't blame her, her mum was a conformist bitch.
For the rest of the way there we idoly discussed bands, and things that were non conformist. Neither of us bought up the topic from earlier, which I was quite relieved about. Henrietta pulled up outside a building, and we both got out of the car. I pulled a cigarette out my pocked, I wanted a quick smoke before I went in to calm the nerves I felt building up inside of me. After smoking for a while, Henrietta told me that Evan and Georgie were already inside. I flicked away what was left of my fag and followed Henrietta inside of the hall. There was a disco ball, loud conformist kids in GAP clothes dancing around. It was the most fucking disguisting sight ever. I pinched the bridge of my nose and scowled. I almost regretted coming, but then I noticed Evan and Georgie sitting on a bench in the far corner of the hall. We made our way over to them, I kept my head down. Evan stood up as we approached them. I flicked my fringe out of my eye. "Look Evan, I'm sorry..."
He cut me off. "Don't even worry about it man." He grabbed y arm, and pulled me into the seat next to him. Henrietta sat on the other side of me. We didn't dance with the rest of the kids, I felt that dancing was something you do alone in your bedroom at three in the morning. Instead, we spoke about the usual things, bands, clothing, how much we hate fucking conformists, Henrietta's mum and how retarded twilight is.
After a while, Craig Tucker, and Clyde Donovan came up to us. "So, looks like you guys arn't such pussy conformists after all." Craig smirked.
"No, but you guys are conformist." Said Henrietta.
"Yeah, we still fucking hate you."Stated Evan, giving them the finger.
"Whatever."Said Clyde, and they both walked off.
"We fucking showed them." I said. It was then that I realized a familiar song was playing. Avenged sevenfold-bat country. I would have been pissed off if conformists started liking this song, but looking around, everyone looked really confused. I even heard one kid go "What is this emo shit?" That was a relief. I glanced at Evan and he seemed to be thinking the same thing. I noticed Georgie tapping along to the drum beat, and I started singing along, so did Evan.
"Can't you help me as I'm starting to burn?
Too many doses and I'm starting to get an attraction,
My confidence is leaving me on my own,
No one can save me and you know I don't want the attention."
I looked at Evan and he looked back at me. I quickly looked down at my feet.
"I need a fag." I announced, standing up.
"Me too" Said Evan, also getting up. Henrietta and Georgie stayed behind and Evan and I made our way through the crowds of conformist kids. We walked through the hallway and out the back exit. It was pitch black outisde, but there were lights around the building. It was quiet, the only noise was the faint thumping of the music from insde of the building. I pulled out a packet of cigarttes and offered one to Evan. After smoking in silence, Dylan flicked his fag away and turned to face Evan, he was about to speak but Evan grabbed the Coller of his shirt with both hands and pushed him against the wall, crushing their lips together.
Hng! Cliff hangeeer!
guess this means you'll have to keep reading ;D