Author's Note: I know, I know, I totally suck for waiting so long to get this next chapter out. I really really really tried hard to finish it before last night, as a kind of a present to you all for Happy Glee's Back! Day (not an officially holiday, but it should be in my books. More on my thoughts about the first episode later). But then my stupid teachers gave me so much homework I ran out of time. So now here it is, only about twelve hours late.
I'm not totally convinced I like the way this ended, but I'd already spent weeks (maybe even months) deliberating over it, and finally I just said "Alright, enough is enough." So I hope you like the end bit, but the first two bits (which I think turned out absolutely perfect) are the really important stuff.
Well, I've got more to tell you at the end, but right now I know you're chomping at the bit to see what happens next, so I'll get off the screen and let you read.
PS: Sorry if Jesse's a little OOC. I haven't seen any of the old episodes with him in a while, so I'm making do. If it really bothers you, please tell me and I'll fix it.
Chapter Four
Rachel arrives at the Limestone Theater for rehearsals on Monday morning at nine o'clock on the nose. Too early would come off as lamely over-eager, and too late would be terribly unprofessional.
She'd obsessed over her outfit the whole weekend, driving Amanda, her roommate and best friend from NYU, crazy. Finally, she settled on dark skinny jeans tucked into high-heeled black leather boots, and an empire-waist olive green cotton sleeveless top with tiny patterned cutouts at the bottom to imitate lace under a denim jacket. No makeup, with her hair curled into loose, tousled waves; big gold hoop earrings, and a long gold chain necklace with a gold star charm that hung above her stomach. Rachel thinks the whole package says "sophisticated and professional"; Amanda agrees, if only to get her to stop throwing clothes and accessories all over their West Village apartment.
Everyone else trickles in slowly after nine o'clock, wearing everything from jeans and sneakers to miniskirts and stilettos, lugging their stuff in backpacks and messengers and totes, carrying to-go coffee cups and pastry bags that make Rachel's stomach rumble. She'd been too nervous to eat anything before she left, but now she wishes she'd brought something with her, since there's no way of knowing when they're going to get a break for lunch.
A few people say hi to Rachel, but for the most part, no one really talks to her. Everyone seems to know each other pretty well, most likely from other shows, and it's all very cliquey. She's the standout, the girl with no prior Broadway experience who just happened to land the lead. It's a good position to be in, career-wise, but it doesn't seem to bode well for her chances of making friends.
Rachel really wishes she had something to eat, mostly because it would give her something to do instead of just standing there like a loser. The hands on her watch keep moving, but no one who shows up seems to be an authority figure; everyone's still clustered in groups on stage and in the audience, just talking.
(There's still no sign of Jesse, and Rachel has a brief fantasy where it turns out she imagined the whole thing, and the male lead is someone completely unknown to her.)
"Hi! You must be Rachel Berry. It's nice to meet you." Rachel looks up to see a long, slender, white hand outstretched for her to shake, fingers manicured in petal-pink nail polish, with a stack of silver bangle bracelets sliding down the wrist. The hand is attached to a tall, skinny girl with golden-blond hair in soft curls framing her face and falling down her back, pulled off her face with a black headband. Her blue eyes are lined with eyeliner and mascara, and her lips slicked with pale pink gloss. She wore a gray long-sleeved cowl-neck sweater cinched at the waist with a black belt, and a denim miniskirt over black leggings and slouchy black suede ankle boots.
"Um, it's nice to meet you too…" Rachel says, shaking her hand. The sweet, flowery scent of the girl's perfume tickles her nose.
"Oh my goodness, where are my manners? I didn't even tell you my name! I'm Lydia Alexander. I'm playing Kayla, Chloe's best friend." Lydia's smile is wide and genuine, and Rachel smiles back. She likes this bubbly blond girl instantly.
"So where are you from, Lydia?"
"I'm home-grown – grew up right here in NY. Went to Trinity for high school, then Columbia for college, and now I'm trying to get onto Broadway. And you?"
"I was born in Ohio," Rachel says. "I championed my high school's Glee Club, and we won at Nationals my senior year." She smiles just thinking about it. "Then I got a scholarship to Tisch, and got out of Ohio as fast as humanly possible."
Lydia laughs. "You must be an amazing singer. Over one hundred girls auditioned for the lead, and you got the part with no prior Broadway experience." Rachel blushes. Thankfully, Lydia doesn't seem spiteful, just a little awestruck. "I auditioned for Chloe, but they said I wasn't a strong enough singer. So I got Kayla, which is fine by me – at least it's a part." She opens a takeout container to reveal half of an omelet and some fried potatoes. "Hey, are you hungry? I've got some breakfast left."
"Does it have any meat?"
"Yeah – there's ham, cheese, peppers, and tomatoes."
"Sorry, I don't eat meat." Her stomach growls. "Do you know when we get a break for lunch?"
"Not for a long time," Lydia says. "Are you sure you don't want some? I can pick out the meat if you want."
"It's alright."
Lydia sighs. "If you say so. I'm taking you out for lunch today, then." Flipping a lock of her hair off her shoulder, she changes the subject. "So what do you think of Jesse St. James?"
Rachel's eyes widen, not prepared for that question at all. Struggling to regain her composure, she buys herself a little time by saying, "What do you mean?"
"He's so… what's the word? Full of himself," Lydia says, digging into her omelet with a plastic fork. "I met him at my audition, and all I can say is that I pity anyone who had to go to school with him. Can you imagine what he was like as a teenager? It's kind of scary. I mean, yeah, he's talented, but you know why it took so long to cast Chloe, right? Because nobody they auditioned could hold their own acting against him." She studies Rachel more closely. "Obviously something clicked between you two, though, or you wouldn't have gotten the part. So what do you think about him?"
Just then, the door bangs open, causing everyone to look up, thinking it might be the director or someone else important. But no, it's just Jesse.
Just Jesse.
"Ugh, speak of the devil," Lydia mutters under her breath. "Who does he think he is, getting here so late? He's lucky Rebecca isn't here yet, or she'd give him hell about this. There's only so much you can get away with, being the star."
Rachel only hears about half of what Lydia is saying. Cold, paralyzing fear shoots down her spine. For the millionth time since her audition, she questions her decision to take this part, knowing she'll have to be doing duets and love scenes with Jesse eight times a week for over a year.
To her horror, Jesse turns and walks over to her and Lydia. Rachel squeezes her eyes shut, her body tensing like she's ready to make a break for it any second. Please, God, just let him go away. I really can't deal with this right now. Please.
Her prayers go unanswered. "Hello, Rachel. I brought you some breakfast." He holds out a to-go coffee cup and pastry bag. "Your favorite – soy latte with an extra shot of espresso, and a vegan blueberry muffin. I figured you'd probably be too nervous to eat this morning, and I thought I'd surprise you." Rachel takes the food cautiously, feeling Lydia's eyes burning a hole in her back with their inquisitive stare.
"Thank you," she says softly, forcing herself not to look up at him. (One look in those eyes and she was a goner for sure.)
She can tell that Jesse isn't happy that she's not looking at him, but she also knows that he won't dare call her out on it in front of Lydia. "Anyway, I was thinking that maybe we could go to lunch today and go over the script. There's this cute little café I know downtown – the menu's all vegetarian and vegan."
"That sounds… great. But I already have plans with Lydia, sorry." Just go away, Jesse, she wills him in her mind.
"Oh, it's no problem! You two should get to know each other," Lydia chirps.
"No, really, I shouldn't break my plans with Lydia," Rachel insists, squeezing Lydia's hand. To anyone else, it would look like a gesture of friendship and commitment, but the squeeze is just a little too tight to be friendly.
"Some other time then, Rach. Don't be a stranger – give me a call. We really need to catch up." The door bangs open again, and this time, thankfully, it's Rebecca, trailed by two men in dark suits. "I've gotta go talk to Becca. See you later."
The second he's out of earshot, Lydia pounces. "Okay, what is up with you and St. James?"
"It's nothing," Rachel insists, taking a sip of the latte. She's slightly touched that Jesse remembers how she likes her coffee, but she'll never admit it.
" 'Your favorite – I thought I'd surprise you'? 'Don't be a stranger, Rach'? 'We really need to catch up'? Mind explaining all that?" Rachel sighs, seeing there's no way around this.
"Okay… Jesse went to high school in Ohio, just like me. We dated for part of my sophomore year, when he was a senior. Our breakup was… messy, and then he went to California and I haven't seen him since."
"That's not the whole story," Lydia says. "I want details."
"It's a long, painful story that I'd rather not talk about." Just thinking about the egging makes her wince.
"Too bad. You're telling me at lunch." Rachel rolls her eyes; she hadn't anticipated this bossy side of Lydia.
"If you insist," she sighs. She steals a glance across the room, where Jesse is talking with Rebecca and the two men with her.
Their eyes meet – ever so briefly, but it's still enough to send warmth throughout her whole body, from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. Rachel blushes and looks away, taking a big gulp from her latte and trying to hide her burning cheeks. She hates herself for giving him so much power over her that a single intense stare can scorch her from head to toe.
(Being with Jesse was like playing with fire. Sooner or later, the flames were bound to consume her, and leave her broken and him unscarred.)
Jesse couldn't concentrate on anything Rebecca's saying, which is very unlike him. All he could focus on is Rachel, talking with that blond girl across the room (what was her name – Laura? Lila? Lana?).
He wonders if she still uses that apple shampoo, the one that made her hair so soft and silky. If she still wore that candy-sweet-smelling lip gloss that made him want to lick it all off her lips and devour her. She's wearing jeans today, a change from her usual pleated skirts, but her legs still look stunning. Hell, she'd probably look hot in a trash bag. He fantasizes about walking right up to her and kissing her full on the lips in front of everyone, kissing her and kissing her until she was breathless, panting for air in his arms, eyes half-closed in pleasure, sighing his name…
"Jesse!" Rebecca snaps, somewhat angrily. He blinks rapidly, more than a little upset at being jolted out of his fantasies. "Heaven forbid, are we keeping you up?"
"N-no," he stutters, looking back at Rachel. God, this is torture – being so close to her and yet so far away.
Rebecca rolls her eyes at him. "Whatever. I hope you've made some progress with Rachel. You two are going to have to rehearse together a lot in the next few weeks. She has a lot of catching up to do, and we open in just a couple months. I'm putting you in charge of making sure she gets enough practice time and has all her lines down. Capisce?"
Jesse can hardly believe his luck; he has to fight the big, stupid grin off of his face. "Of course," he says. "Whatever you say."
"Good," Rebecca says. "And Jesse?"
"Yes?"
"I've seen the way you look at her. If you want to pursue her, go right ahead, but if you break her heart and it screws with my show, you'd better sleep with one eye open. I have no qualms about letting your understudy take the role for good if you fuck things up with Rachel irreparably. You don't have to be an actual couple to play Chloe and Brandon onstage – you just have to like each other enough to make love scenes look believable. Got it?"
"Got it." He gulps. Rebecca is scary enough, but knowing that she actually will follow through on these threats makes it even scarier. In some ways, she reminds him of Coach Corcoran, except even more intense.
Thinking of Shelby brings him back to Rachel again, as almost everything does these days. She's still talking to the blond girl (Lydia – that was her name), but – wait, now she was… walking towards the door, the trash from her breakfast in hand.
Jesse couldn't have gotten a better opportunity if he'd planned it himself. Bidding a quick goodbye to Rebecca and the suits (his nickname for the guys that always trailed behind her, who rarely ever said anything and were most likely just there for show), he takes off towards Rachel.
"Rachel! Wait up!" he yells, running the last few yards until he was standing in front of her.
She turns around to face him, hands on her hips, looking like she'd rather be anywhere but here. "What?" she asks, sounding irritated.
Up close, he can see all the tiny, subtle ways she's changed. Her face is harder, her cheekbones more pronounced, the sharp angles of her jaw making her look less like a teenager and more like a woman. Her hair is longer, falling down her back in loose curls, and her dark eyes have lost their sparkle, like the last few years have jaded her. Coupled with the more mature clothing, she looks…
She looks like Shelby.
Shaking that (somewhat scary) thought out of his mind, Jesse realizes he has absolutely no clue what to say to her. "Um… how was your weekend?"
She laughs, but not that girlish giggle he remembers from high school. God, even her laugh has changed – it's harder, less bubbly and genuine. How had he not noticed all of this before now?
(Oh yeah. He was too busy wondering if he was dreaming, that the girl he'd loved forever and never really gotten over had appeared right in front of him again.)
"I find it extremely hard to believe that you came all the way over here just to ask about my weekend. Especially considering the fact that you know I haven't forgiven you for what happened in high school, and therefore would not want to make small talk. So what do you really want, Jesse?"
"Hey, don't be like that. You don't have to love me–" Jesse mentally winces, "but do you really want to do this show eight times a week, still hating me for what happened years ago? It's your choice, of course, but considering everything…"
"What do you mean, 'considering everything'? What aren't you telling me?"
"You haven't seen the script, have you?" Thankfully, he has a copy on him, which he hands to her. "Read this. And then tell me you still want to carry a grudge for something that happened seven years ago – which, by the way, I apologized for years ago as well–"
"An apology that I did not, and still do not, accept," Rachel cuts him off, lifting her left hand to shush him. With the other hand, she takes his outstretched script.
Jesse mentally curses Rachel for being so goddamn stubborn. "Come on, Rachel. It's been seven years!"
"Jesse, I'm not interested. Please, spare me."
He sighs. "Fine. So… are you doing anything tonight?"
Rachel drops the script and gives him a blank stare, like he's the most stupid person alive. "What part of our conversation gave you the idea that I'd want to do anything with you tonight?"
He has to fight the urge to laugh – thank God, she's still his Rachel underneath it all. For a second, he struggles to remember his reason for asking her out – besides the fact that he's still in love with her – but then, thankfully, it comes back to him.
"I've got direct orders from Rebecca to make sure you're learning all your lines and practicing the songs."
"And she put you in charge of this why?" she asks, incredulously.
"Maybe because I'm the male lead and you're the female lead, so it makes sense for me to help you get caught up?" Two can play at this game, Jesse decides.
Rachel crosses her arms over her chest, clearly frustrated that she's lost this argument. "Fine. But tonight's not good for me."
"Well, when is?"
"How about never? I don't need a babysitter."
"Rachel…"
Her face softens. "Whatever."
"Is tomorrow okay?" he ventures. "We can go to my place. I've got a piano, so we can rehearse."
"Fine. Is seven o'clock okay?"
"Perfect," he says, biting his cheek to keep from smiling like an idiot. "It's a date."
Her eyes narrow at him. "Don't get ahead of yourself, St. James – this is not a date."
"Chill, Rach. It's a figure of speech. I know that it's not really a date." No matter how much I wish it were…
She rolls her eyes. "As long as you know that. And besides, I'm dating Finn."
His blood turns to ice. Of course she's still with that idiot. What she sees in him, Jesse will never know. "G-Good for you," he stammers out.
Rachel smirks, like she can see right through him, and Jesse wonders when their roles became reversed. Then she throws her trash away and walks off, the faintest scent of her perfume lingering in the air.
Jesse smiles to himself.
(Because underneath all the changes, she's still Rachel Berry. And if there's one thing Jesse knows how to do, it's make Rachel Berry fall in love with him.)
"You said WHAT?"
"Geez! Quinn! Calm down!" Rachel yelps into the phone.
"I cannot believe you said that," Quinn continues, not paying attention to what Rachel had just said. "What on Earth got into you?"
"I don't know, okay? I just… wanted a barrier," Rachel admits, slumping down into an armchair in the "living room" of her apartment. Thankfully, Amanda had to work, so she was alone.
"I'm sure it's awkward, seeing Jesse again. But for heaven's sake, Rachel, couldn't you have picked anybody else? How is Jesse supposed to believe you're dating Finn when Finn's in Ohio, with his real girlfriend?"
"I panicked, alright!" Rachel exclaims, feeling more than a little exasperated. She'd thought calling Quinn to vent would make her feel better, but so far it's only making her feel worse. "And I knew Jesse would back off if I said Finn. He hates Finn."
"Well, that's true." Quinn clucks her tongue through the phone. "Listen, girl, you've got to fix this – and fast. Jesse's not stupid – it won't take him long to figure out that you lied to him."
"I know, I know," Rachel sighs. "I've been thinking about it all day. But so far I've got nothing."
Quinn sighs. "Well, I'm sorry I can't help you out. You're going to have to fix this one yourself."
"It's okay." Rachel reaches for her copy of the script and starts idly thumbing through it. "Hey, you want to hear about the play? I just got a full script today."
"Sure."
"So the plot basically revolves around a love triangle. My character, Chloe, is a senior in high school, and she's at the center of this love triangle. The male lead is a character named Brandon, who's a new teacher at Chloe's school. He's really young, like just out of college, so it's not that weird with the age difference. And the other guy in the triangle is Chloe's boyfriend Nick, who's also a senior, and is the star of the football team."
"Ooh, scandalous! Your character hooks up with a teacher when she already has a boyfriend? I'm surprised – I never thought you'd play a character like that. So lemme guess – you end with Jesse in the end?"
"It's Brandon, and yeah."
"Brandon, Jesse, same diff. Who's the guy playing Nick? Is he cute?"
"His name is Connor Pierce and he's very cute. I met him briefly today, and he seems nice."
"Send me a pic. I wanna see him for myself."
"If I can get one without looking too stalker-ish, then sure I'll try. Oh, and the girl playing my best friend Kayla is so nice. Her name's Lydia. We went to lunch today. She seems really sweet. I hope she turns out okay – I really need a friend in this show. Everyone today was so cliquey. And it wasn't like I was the ugly dorky girl with bad skin, glasses, braces, and an I LOVE DISSECTING THINGS button on her Jansport backpack, but more like the plain-looking transfer student who's a novelty for the first day and then just kind of fades into the background, which is not a good thing for me to be, being the lead of the show and all–"
"Rachel." Quinn cuts her off. "I thought we agreed you'd left Babble Girl back in high school."
Rachel's cheeks flush bright red, ad she stares down at her feet, even though Quinn is hundreds of miles away and can't see her. "Sorry," she mumbles.
Out of nowhere, Quinn just starts laughing hysterically. "Quinn, what is it?"
When Quinn finally stops laughing long enough to piece together a coherent sentence, she replies, "Guess what I just realized?"
"What?"
"Replace this Nick guy with Finn, and this play is essentially the story of your sophomore year. Well, minus the whole teacher thing, but still – you and Jesse, forbidden love, another guy getting in the way…"
"Shut up!" Rachel exclaims. "I was not even thinking about that, but now that you mentioned it I know it's going to be all I can think about. Thanks a lot, Quinn."
"I'm sorry, Rach," Quinn says, the last traces of her hysteric giggling fit starting to disappear from her voice. "You really need to come up with an explanation for Jesse. You know that the longer you wait to tell him the truth, the madder he's going to be. And that's not even thinking about what might happen if he finds out from somewhere other than you."
"I know, I know." Rachel closes her eyes and falls backwards onto her bed, the phone still pressed against her ear. "Can you please stop reminding me every five seconds about what I said? It's not the end of the world that I lied. Everyone lies. You lied quite a bit back in the day." Quinn is silent, and Rachel winces, knowing she's hit a nerve. "Sorry. You know what I mean. It's not like I killed somebody."
"Still. I don't like the idea of you working with Jesse at all. That guy was a class-A jackass to you and now you have to pretend to be in love with him onstage every night?"
"Don't remind me." Rachel rolls her eyes. "But this is a huge deal for me – getting the lead with no prior Broadway experience? Never mind the fact that it's a new play and I'll be originating a role, which almost never happens these days."
"Yeah, yeah, my best friend is going to become a Broadway legend while I'm stuck in med school." Rachel can almost hear Quinn rolling her eyes. "Don't rub it in."
"Oh come on, Quinn. You're going to get through med school, and then you're going to be a kick-ass doctor, and all of this is going to be a distant memory."
Quinn sighs. "I know, I know. It's just hard to remind myself why I'm doing this when I'm spending my days sticking my finger up people's butts." Rachel giggles, remembering the first time Quinn had had to do a rectal exam and called her to complain about it for a record-breaking three-hour-long phone call.
"Well, it's not like what I'm doing is a cakewalk either," Rachel says, trying to make her best friend feel better.
"Oh please. You love it. Broadway is like Glee club multiplied by a million, and you get to be the star for real this time." Quinn pauses. "Rachel… if I tell you this you have to promise you won't breathe a word to anyone."
"What is it?"
"Promise me you won't say anything."
"Okay, okay, I promise. Now what's your big news?"
"I applied to Columbia."
Rachel's jaw drops. "Oh my God. Quinn, that's amazing!"
"I haven't heard back from them yet – I probably won't even get in," Quinn backpedals furiously. "No one knows yet, and I plan to keep it that way unless I get in. I didn't even tell Puck."
"Shut up, Quinn. You're going to get in. Oh my God, you're going to move to New York! Oh, this is so exciting! I think there's an open apartment in our building – we could be next-door neighbors!"
"Seriously, Rachel, calm down," Quinn says, but she's laughing. "Oh, Puck just got home, I should probably go."
"Alright. Tell me the minute you hear anything from Columbia. The second."
"I will, I will! Now stop talking about it – you're gonna make him suspicious."
"Fine. Love you."
"Love you too. Talk to you soon." The flat beep of the receiver sounds in Rachel's ear, and she presses the END CALL button. Putting the phone back on its hook, she sprawls out on the couch, closing her eyes and trying to put her finger on what's bothering her right now.
The answer comes to her almost instantly.
She never told Quinn about meeting Jesse tomorrow.
Author's Note: I really got you there, didn't I? Like I would ever have Finn and Rachel still together - besides it being such a cliche in this story plot, I couldn't stomach writing them together. (They were really cute last night, though - so what's all this about Finn saying he still loves Quinn in one of the promos? Blech. And why was there nothing about Quinn and Puck? For crying out loud, they just had a baby! Well, maybe there'll be more in the Britney episode. And we finally get to meet the mysterious dentist dude!)
Also, on the topic of last night: how hilarious was Jacob Ben-Israel's little "glee summer documentary" thing? Especially the bit where he asks Mr. Schue how he feels about something saying he should stop rapping. It's like how Eclipse made fun of Jacob never having a shirt. (Seriously, Schue should stop rapping. It's annoying.) I loved "Empire State of Mind", yes, but my favorite song (that I wish to God hadn't been interrupted by Sue Sylvester) was Rachel and Sunshine dueting on "Telephone." I swear, Charice is the only other person besides Lady Gaga herself who can do that "Eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh" thing without sounding retarded. Or maybe I'm just jealous. And last but finally not least, don't you think it's just a little bit annoying how Quinn got back on the Cheerios so quickly? (I loved the catfight between Quinn and Santana, though. More, more, more!)
Before I forget, Lydia (do you guys like her?) looks like Bridgit Mendler, but with blue eyes. I've yet to find an appropriate actress for Rebecca, but I will look, and I'm searching for a cute guy to be Connor Pierce, the guy playing Nick (not introduced yet, but he's coming).
Chapter five will be - you got it - Rachel and Jesse's "not a date". No promises when it will be up, because I have a lot of other stories that need updating as well.
Okay, so now that I've done my blathering on (about last night and the chapter you just read), I wanna hear what you thought of chapter four. (And opinions about last night are welcome too.)
Love,
Authoress