December 2, 2010
I owe all my research to Google.

Thanks for reading this! The corresponding chapter of the public domain Don Quixote translation that I'm using is at {www. online-literature. com/ cervantes/ don_quixote/ 10/} (cut and paste inside the {funky brackets}, and remove the spaces to get the correct web address).

The Amusing yet Prudent Scrutiny of Dan's Manga Collection
Chapter 6

Dan snored softly, a puddle of drool wetting the cardboard under his head. The morning sun had dried the dew from the grass by now.

Graff slipped through the flaps of the tent and beckoned Brenda to follow. She pointed to rows of acid-free storage boxes along the side of the tent, stacked two to three deep.

Graff nodded and began to heave the boxes just outside the tent onto a sidewalk as Brenda watched. Altrelda came over, tsking away with her tongue clicking on the roof of her mouth, shaking her head. "All this trouble," she said to herself.

When Graff had carried the entire collection outside the tent, Altrelda dug in and began searching. "Let's get rid of Young Magician first and be done with that sorcery!"

Graff chuckled. "One at a time. No need to hurry."

Altrelda looked up, pursing her lips. "Come now," he coaxed. "Let's start at the beginning and work our way through in an orderly manner."

Altrelda groaned, but walked to the box closest to Graff, nevertheless.

Watching her lift the lid, Graff added, "Who knows? There might be something worth saving."

"No!" Brenda stomped her foot. "There can't be anything good in all of this garbage. Each and every one of them is just as guilty for making DX crazy! Let's find a big metal barrel and pile them in so that we can be warm tonight."

Altrelda hesitated, debating whose side she was on. All the while, she resisted reaching out to pull away a bit of hair that Brenda kept chewing on in the corner of her mouth while she talked.

"Geezums! At least look at the titles you're both so willing to condemn to an eternity of fire," Graff persuaded them.

Altrelda bent down and picked up the three vintage original issues of the magazine Eshinbun Nipponchi published by Kanagaki Robun and Kawanabe Kyosai in 1874. In their protective covers, they were still in excellent condition.

Graff took them from Altrelda's hands. "Now this is interesting. I've heard that this was the very first manga magazine ever published. So every other publication is a spawn of this ilk. I say we burn these miscreants to ashes."

"But Graff," Altrelda reached out her hand to stay him, "we ought to preserve history, at least. Something this unique ought to be given reprieve, don't you think?"

Graff rubbed the stubble around his chin. "You have a point, Altrelda-san." He handed them back to Altrelda and stretched, with a loud yawn. Meanwhile, Altrelda dumped the contents out of the box, shook the box again to remove the dust, and carefully placed the artifacts inside.

Her care was exquisite. She moved with the grace of an archeologist, preserving the remains of a doomed civilization.

Graff squat down and pointed to the pile littering the ground. "How about that one, next?"

Altrelda gathered up several more magazines, each in its own protective cover, and read the title. "Kisho Shimbun. Huh, 1875. How 'bout that?" For a moment Altrelda seemed to cradle it longingly in her arms, "This magazine is practically the child of Eshinbun Nipponchi."

Graff rolled his eyes. "Just because it was inspired by a preceding work of literature doesn't mean that it should be accepted without critique. Besides, our kind of justice dictates that sons are not to judged based on the merits of their fathers. So get rid of those noxious protectors and let's prepare for a bonfire!"

Altrelda snapped to her senses, gleefully ripping the vintage magazines out of their covers. She tossed them next to a big barrel that Brenda had rolled across the park.

"Let's get on with it," Graff sighed, tucking in his shirt.

"Ahh," Altrelda sighed, looking through the remaining magazines on the sidewalk. "These appear to be issues of Shōnen Sekai. No doubt from the same spring of appealing to young imaginations, and just as horrid as manga."

Graff stood and bent back, hands pressing against the back side of his hips. "Toss them," he groaned during his stretch. Now standing upright, his voice was normal again. "Let not Empress Jingu's iconography remain unburned. Do away with the daimyo Toyotomi Hideyoshi's heroic invasion and the manly-man military values espoused so readily by its publishers."

Graff rubbed his eyes. "I swear, if I even saw dear old Dad running around at a cosplay convention, I would even burn him to ashes right along with these magazines!"

"I couldn't agree more," Altrelda concurred.

"Me, too!" Brenda said, momentarily taking a break from spinning herself dizzy with helicopter arms whirling.

"Let's dump 'em," Altrelda cheerfully cheered as she scooped up the pile of magazines and flung them away.

Graff walked around the boxes. "What's in this one?" he asked the sweating Altrelda.

She lifted the lid and peered inside. "These are the six tankōbon volumes of Historie."

Graff scratched his crotch. "That's by the guy that wrote Parastyle. Can you believe someone who wrote about an alien Parasite invasion would try to pull off a historical manga? What's this world coming to?" Graff picked his nose as he thought. "I'll tell you what. Just put that whole box over there and let some poor sap discover it."

Altrelda set it aside and opened the next box. A tinge of pink grew on her cheeks as she perused the contents. "Love's Supreme Principle!" she uttered breathlessly.

"Let me see that smut." Graff grabbed it out of her hands and ogled a rape scene. "No plot at all. Even the pictures aren't good. It's not even hard core, for crying out loud." He tossed it back into the box. "Put both of the boxes out."

"I'm happy to do so," Altrelda responded, a fake smile plastered on her face. It took her a bit of time to return, and her clothes did look a bit squared and bulky when she waddled back.

Graff returned from taking a long piss, and quickly zipped up his pants.

Altrelda excused herself to the tent momentarily before returning, looking greatly relieved and somewhat skinnier. She plunged into the next set. "Astro Boy?"

"Well, well, well. If that isn't a classic, I don't know what is. But toss it anyway."

"Okay. This here is," she said as she inspected the contents of another box, "Ultimate! Hentai Kamen."

Graff pondered this set of manga while chewing his fingernails. "The title is great, you have to admit. But it was published in Weekly Shonen Jump, so it can't be hentai. Let's burn it."

Altrelda hitched up her skinny pants, which sunk well below her hips. Then she walked over to another box. "Oh, it's Tôkyô wa boku no niwa [Tôkyô est mon jardin]."

"Ahhh," Graff breathed as he pulled up a stool. He gestured for Altrelda to take a break and sit as well. "I know the artist. That's the one where David Martin's daily life issues as an expat are drawn out with his Japanese girlfriend, and a lost bottle of cognac, no less. Quite like When the Cat's Away [1997 Cédric Klapisch film]."

Brenda did cartwheels in the grass and hummed the Japanese folk song Hana about cherry blossoms.

Graff turned his attention back to the boxes of manga. "Well, I wouldn't go so far as to condemn it in the afterlife. Goodness! This is one of the pieces that inspired Nouvelle Manga. And Benoit Peeters had a hand in writing it, as well. But I swear I'll diss any Japanese translations of his comics here. As long as he remains in French, he and I will get along just fine."

Altrelda shifted on the stool. "I have him in Italian. I don't understand a word of it, though."

"That's a good thing," Graff harrumphed. "It's fine if Tokyo is Frederic Boilet's garden. But why would Peeters' even want it brought back to Tokyo and printed in Japanese? It completely loses the authenticity of the expatriate experience! It's just like every manga translated into another language. No matter how many footnotes and explanations they write on the page, the humor of the original picture and caption is lost."

Altrelda covered her mouth and stifled a yawn.

Graff glanced at her. "Let's make it simple. Why don't we put any Nouvelle Manga editions in a separate box and we'll stash them in one of the tunnels under the park. We'll decide what to do with them later, excepting Yukiko no Hôrensô or Mariko Parade. If get my hands on either of those in Japanese translation I'll burn them myself."

Altrelda took this opportunity to stand up and shuffle among the boxes. She peered at Graff and then, without meaning to, placed her hand over her heart. Apparently the guilt of stealing some contraband for her own viewing pleasure was eating away at her soul.

She shook the feeling out of her head and opened a new box. "1957. Rows of Cherry Trees series. I wonder how it got packed in with The Flower Prince."

"No need to worry your pretty head. Let the flowers be burnt into oblivion. But let's preserve those cherry trees." Graff smiled as he gazed at Brenda, frolicking in the dappled shade under a tree. "After all, the keepers of the Shinto religion thought it fit to preserve liturgies in the ancient Kojiki and Nihongi poems regardless of how primitive they may appear. Besides, the art in this manga is stunning. And you could call it the 'father' of yuri. So let's just get rid of everything except for this and the three issues of Eshinbun Nipponchi." Graff bent down and touched his toes, stretching. He looked up. "Good idea?"

"No, not really," Altrelda said. "Here's a Bakuman。taco bell."

"What?"

"Tankōbon." Altrelda's face reddened a bit. "What? I get tired and think of silly word associations."

"Okay," Graff ceded. "Though a little umeboshi might enrich its flavor. And the Shonen Jump stuff has be be scrubbed. I guess we'll see how it fares after surgery. You can keep them in your tent. But you ought to hide them so that no one reads them. Are we clear on this?"

"Aye aye, Captain!" Altrelda trilled. She ran off to her tent with the manga.

Then she and Graff shoved the remaining boxes over to the giant metal trash barrel. When one box tipped over, Graff leaned down to pick it up. "Oh. My. God."

Altrelda looked over.

"It's Gantz. Pull up a stool and let's have a look-see, shall we?" He dragged Altrelda to a stool and knelt next to her. This is awesome!" he said with a high, boyish voice.

Altrelda simply stared at him. So he continued, glancing over the summary "Masaru and Kei think they die. But no! An alien - - can you believe this stuff? - - an alien brings them back to life. And then they - - get this - - they have to hunt other aliens." Graff stood up and turned away. "I'm getting hard just reading this." After a moment he turned back and squatted next to Altrelda again. "It has it all!" he said in a sing-song voice. "Violence. Death. Angst. And sexual confusion. I love it. Whoever wrote this deserves a Death Note, for sure. But why don't you read it and see for yourself?"

"Whatever," Altrelda sighed. She took the corresponding volumes to her tent.

When she came back, Graff was looking through a collection of hentai manga. "Now these," he said to her, "are nowhere near as dangerous as shonen. He was reading Virgin Night and he assumed all of the collection was softcore.

Brenda skipped over. "Oji-san, you should just get rid of the whole kit and caboodle. Imagine what would happen if he tried acting out some of that stuff."

Graff's face whitened. Brenda nodded. "Or what if," she gasped and a tear began to form in the corner of her eye. "What if he became a manga-ka? They say you can't stop after the first one!"

"Right you are, munchkin," Graff agreed. "Well, I suppose we can save Virgin Night if we take out everything about intimacy. And here's the second volume. The author is Yoshiki Aya. Did you know Aya was the name of a Mesopotamian goddess? Best not to damage any of this author's works and thus invoke wrath from the sun."

Graff looked up at the sky. "And speaking of the sun, time is fleeting. Let's hurry this along."

Brenda skipped over to a tent and crawled inside.

Altrelda wiped her face and looked at a set of books. "Wow. Fortune Arterial."

"Really?" Graff said, his voice a bit high pitched. "Cute vampires and dumb students. This is a keeper."

"Must we go on?" Altrelda complained.

"I guess not. Why don't we do away with the pretenses and just trash everything except for really good smut."

"Okay. Hey. Here's a computer print out from fanfiction dot net. Know anyone using the pen name DZMom?"

Graff shook his shoulders, laughing. "The woman can't write worth a wit. Don't get me wrong. She's a nice lady. But all she does is fan fiction. She has some original concepts, to her merit. But she's a lousy proofreader. Well, I guess we'll have to see how Unheeded Warning: Synergy turns out now that she's posting chapters, on occasion. Why don't you keep your hands on that printout in the meantime?"

"Sure," Altrelda nodded.

"I'm beat."

Altrelda looked over at Graff. "It's about time."

Major research sources (all online), in no particular order:

"Shōnen Sekai," Wikipedia: The Free Encyclopedia, last modified on 13 October 2010 at 20:29; {http: / / en. wikipedia. org/ wiki/ Shōnen_ Sekai} accessed December 1 and 2, 2010.

"Shunrō Oshikawa," Wikipedia: The Free Encyclopedia, last modified on 17 November 2010 at 16:24; {http: / / en. wikipedia. org/ wiki/ Shunrō_ Oshikawa} accessed December 1 and 2, 2010.

"Comics World and the World of Comics: Towards Scholarship on a Global Scale," series: Global Manga Studies, Vol. 1., ed., Jaqueline Berndt, International Manga Research Center, Kyoto Seika University, 2006; {http:/ / imrc. jp/ 2010/ 09/ 26/ 20100924Comics% 20Worlds% 20and% 20the% 20World% 20of% 20Comics. pdf} accessed December 1 and 2, 2010.

"Writing the Love of Boys: Representations of Male-Male Desire in the Literature of Murayama Kaita and Edogawa Ranpo," Dissertation, Jeffrey M. Angles, MA, The Ohio State University, 2003; {http:/ / etd. ohiolink. edu/ send- pdf. cgi/ Angles% 20Jeffrey. pdf? osu1071535574} accessed December 1 and 2, 2010.

"Militarizing Japan: Patriotism, Profit, and Children's Print Media, 1894-1925," Owen Griffiths, Japan Focus, posted September 22, 2007; {http:/ / www. japanfocus. org/ -Owen- Griffiths/ 2528} accessed December 1 and 2, 2010.

"Nouvelle Manga Manifesto," trans., Olivier Petitpas, Hong Kong, June 20, 2002 & Ken Hollings, London, July 12, 2003; Frédéric Boilet, Tôkyô, August 12, 2001 {http: / / www. boilet. net/ am/ nouvellemanga_ manifeste_ 1. html} accessed December 1 and 2, 2010.

"Perez the Priest and his Comment on Tirant lo Blanch," Daniel Eisenberg, MLN, Vol. 88, No. 2, Hispanid Issue (Mar., 1973), pp. 321-330; JSTOR database, Johns Hopkins University Press, 2001; {http:/ / users. ipfw. edu/ JEHLE/ deisenbe/ cervantes/ peroperezlow. pdf} accessed December 1 and 2, 2010.