Hey y'all.

A huge thanks to rosaliehale1994, mixmatched9, teambellaedward, brittany86, BellaSand, Dulcinea21bella, trs1, TeamCarlisleWhitlock and WeFallForever for their reviews. Thank you!

Right, a few things to remember about the vampires in my story. My newborns aren't as hostile and insane as Mrs. Meyer's are, they are a bit more subdued and controlled. Also my vampires have fangs because they are important to the story… and they are just downright sexy!

The playlist for this story is finally done and on my profile! If you want, please do go check it out, and if you don't, then… don't! It's up to you.

This chapter is named after "Morning after dark" by Timbaland, SoShy and Nelly Furtado. The song is also on the playlist, funnily enough!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Really, it's true. It belongs to someone called Stephenie Meyer or something. I know, I've never heard of her either! She's supposed to be good, though!

Edward Cullen's Point of View

That moment had finally arrived, that moment when you stand there, balancing on the line between life and death, not quite knowing which way you're going to fall.

Part of me wanted to fall on the side of death, to just get it all over with and say goodbye to this sick and sad world. I mean, what is life, anyway? You're born, you work, you die. Doesn't sound like a fucking good life to me. Yet, when you think about it, it's what we all go through. Whether it's school, college, or a job, we spend most of our lives working ourselves to fucking death.

And what do we get for it? The promise of living in a wooden box underground for the rest of eternity whilst the rest of the world carries on, not giving a shit about you anymore.

Yeah, death sounded pretty appealing.

But I knew which side of the line I was falling. I was alive. And how did I know this? Because I wouldn't be able to feel the pain I was feeling if I was dead.

But in the end, that's why I wanted death.

Now, it wasn't that I was dissatisfied with my life, far from it. All things considered, I had a pretty sweet life. I was healthy, handsome, and reasonably wealthy. I had a loving family, a good education and the greatest friend a person could want.

Bella always laughs at me for the whole good looking and wealthy thing. My mom is a teacher at the local elementary school and my dad's a lawyer, so the money does tend to roll in at my house. It was my parents who put the deposit down on the apartment Bella and I share in Seattle. But because of my money and my pretty-boy face, she always says I'm a shoo-in for a regular part on Gossip Girl or some other teen drama where the rich and good looking rule the roost. I always bat her words away. Like fuck I'd become one of those kinds of people! Rich and famous but they have such terrible, terrible lives. Fuck off! Bella loves those shows, but me, not so much. Still, I like Bella's thinking...

So, when I really think about it, my life was fucking awesome.

I didn't want to die because my life sucked. I just wanted to escape the pain, the mighty and unbearable pain.

I was willing to give up everything, just to escape it.

I'm not sure how long I lay there in said pain, wriggling and writhing as the burning and stinging spread everywhere, touching every inch of skin, every nerve, every hair, every cell. All I knew was that it was fucking happening, and it was me it was happening to. It had felt like years since it had all started, but it was more than likely days. Time just seemed to have stopped, probably to torture and fuck with me.

Yeah, Edward's in pain. Let's really make him suffer and stop the clocks!

If someone's up there, looking down on me… then he must really hate my guts. Fucker!

But whether time had decided to stop or not, the pain simply would not let up, not even for a second. If anything, it became worse. I never could catch a break!

But I didn't think pain like this could possibly exist, I didn't think anyone or anything could allow a person to experience what I was going through. But it's like I was bathing in it and living in it, it's like the pain had molded into my skin and clogged up my pores. There was no escape, no matter how much I tossed and turned and yelled at the top of my fucking lungs. My voice had long since disappeared, the screaming and shouting making damn sure of that. The pain didn't ease up, it stayed just as it was, making my life miserable.

I just wanted to sob; I wanted to cry…

My emotions were too numb of anything but despair to notice the tears that fell down my cheeks as I lay there, burning. I'm not even sure there were tears, but how can any living person not cry at what I was going through? It wouldn't be right, it wouldn't be human, so I knew I was crying despite the fact that I could feel nothing.

All my focus was on the burning.

My mind couldn't even conjure up Bella's image, no matter how hard I strained and tried, and that was the moment I truly knew something was up with me. It wasn't being attacked, it wasn't being bitten, it wasn't even the intense and horrific burning, it was my mind's lack of ability to picture Bella. That's when I knew something was seriously wrong.

I've never not been able to see her, not in seventeen years. Bella is my other half and a part of who I am, like the second half to my soul and being. So if I couldn't even picture the other half of myself, how deep in the shit was I?

Something was wrong, something was majorly fucked up.

When this burning stopped, if it ever would, I knew I was not going to be myself when I came out of it. Something bad was happening, something that was going to change my life. I didn't know what it would be, and I didn't know when it would happen, but something was going to change me for eternity. I could feel it.

I didn't want any of this, I didn't want the attack or the biting or the burning. My mind would keep repeating the same lines over and over and over…

I just want to be me again. I want to go home and curl up on the sofa with my Bellsy-Boo. I want to watch shitty films with her and laugh at her when she cries at the happy ending. I want to see my mom and my dad and sit at my piano whilst I play all afternoon. I just want to go to my meadow and sit there, giving thanks for having such a normal and mundane life.

I wanted the burning to stop, I just wanted it to be fucking over…

And then suddenly, it was.

I wasn't even sure it had happened at first, I was too shocked to register the idea in my mind. But when I stopped and actually thought about it, the intensity of the pain had changed. It didn't lessen by much, but it lessened all the same. I felt it in my foot first, the pain just seemed to die a little, the burning turning into a soft tingling. I was able to wiggle my toes without yelling. They felt… normal.

Then it spread to my ankle before slowly snaking up my leg and spreading to the other. In no time at all, my bottom half was pain free and ready to go, almost as if nothing had happened. I didn't make any major movements, but I could flex the muscles of my knees just fine, no problems at all.

Then the pain disappeared from my stomach all the way up to my chest, disappearing from my hands and arms along the way. I flexed my fingers and straightened my arms, the pain totally gone. It disappeared from my head and face, the burning completely centering on the bite on my neck before the flames of pain died, leaving me lying there, breathing heavily, far too afraid to open my eyes.

What the fuck had just happened?

"I think it's over," came the same female voice I had heard when I was attacked, but this time she sounded different. The sounds in her voice were like bells, crystal clear, like there was nothing blocking it from reaching my ears. I heard every tone, every melody, every note of her voice as it sounded. It was extraordinary.

"His movements seemed to have stopped," came Doctor Cullen's voice, the sound pretty much the same as the female's voice - like nothing I'd ever heard before. It was like music and singing and magic and beauty and the rustling of leaves in the trees.

Wait, no, that's not right…

I listened closer and realized that the sound wasn't coming from his voice after all, it actually was the rustling of trees I could hear. The sound was completely perfect, almost as if I was in the tree itself. But I knew I wasn't. The temperature surrounding me, and softness of what was probably a bed below me, told me I was indoors. That's when I began to panic, wondering what the fuck was going on. I knew I needed to open my eyes, I knew I needed to assess my situation.

I opened them only a little at first, just enough so that I could peak around. I closed my eyes immediately as the bright colors of the room hit my vision. It was just like the sounds I'd heard. Each color was so bright and fantastic that it actually hurt to look. It didn't seem that bright from behind my closed eyelids, but the proof was in the pudding - it fucking hurt to look.

"Edward?" called the good doctor's voice. I felt him touch my hand and I flinched, my body's natural reaction to a sudden intrusion. He quickly let go. "Edward, do you know who I am? Do you recognize my voice?"

"D-Doctor Cullen," I rasped out, my eyebrows shooting up in surprise. It seemed my voice had changed,too, as well as my vision and my hearing. The sound was stunning.

What the fuck is happening to me?

"Very good," he replied, taking my hand again. I didn't flinch this time. "Do you think you can try and open your eyes for me again?"

"It hurts when I do," I stated. "It's too bright."

"It will be at first," he admitted. "But it will get better with time, I promise."

"What's happened to me?" I asked in a shaky voice, my breathing a little heavier.

I have never been the one to panic, Bella always panics enough for the both of us. I'm always cool, calm and collected whilst Bella stresses until her hair falls out. She even panics over my university work. She doesn't even have to fucking do it! I sit there, on the sofa, relaxed and chilled, whilst Bella starts freaking out and going shit crazy because I have two days to hand my portfolio of work in and I haven't even started it.

But now… Now that the stakes were a little higher? Well, I couldn't do anything else but panic. I needed answers. Quick.

"There will be plenty of time to talk later, Edward," Doctor Cullen said. "I just want you to open your eyes first."

"WHAT THE FUCK HAS HAPPENED TO ME?" I yelled at the top of my lungs. I didn't want to open my fucking eyes, couldn't he see that? I wanted to know what the fuck was going on because this shit was not normal.

But the yelling was a stupid idea, because it brought me to a new and even more frustrating problem. I sat bolt upright and squeezed my eyes closed even more as I felt a stinging and burning itch at the back of my throat. I clutched at my neck, coughing and spluttering, trying in vain to rid myself of the irritation.

"Edward…" Doctor Cullen started, but I quickly interrupted him.

"My throat… It burns… Why's it burning?… Tell me… Please…"

"Edward, it's okay," I heard a new female say. Her voice wasn't as sweet or as feminine as the previous one, but it still sounded perfect. "You need to remain calm."

"You will get the burning for a while," Doctor Cullen started. "At least until the vampiric way of feeding finally settles in and feels normal to you."

Regardless of the bright and harsh colors, my eyes shot open at his words and my coughing stopped.

With my eyes open, I could truly see where I was. I had been correct in my assumption, I was on a bed in what seemed like a bedroom. It was small and quaint, but it did its job. Five people surrounded me, all of their eyes looking in my direction. Doctor Cullen was the closest, his hand still on mine. Next to him, I recognized his wife, Esme. Then I saw Jasper, Alice and Rosalie, the Cullen children. All of their eyes were a bright and electrifying gold. I knew then why their voices seemed so familiar.

They had attended Forks High School with Bella and I a few years ago. I wouldn't exactly call them my friends, but they were in a few of my classes and we knew them well enough that we would greet each other in the corridors every now and again.

But all this registered in my mind in literally seconds, because the second my eyelids opened, my eyes shot to Doctor Cullen.

I stared at him for a while, the bright colors seeming like the least of my worries now. Sure, I could still see them, the room was illuminated like a fucking fair ground, but I had to know if what he had just said was right… or merely some slip of the tongue.

"What?" I whispered, my eyes wide, my words laced with fear. He had to be bullshitting me, surely.

"Edward, we really should go downstairs and talk," he tried.

"You said vampiric. I heard you."

He sighed, running his free hand through his blond hair. I could see every variation of blond that his hair held. I swallowed. Hard.

"Yes… I did."

"What does that mean?" I asked and he remained silent. They all did. "Doctor Cullen, tell me."

"Edward, you must understand that we did not want this to happen to you," he began. "We thought we had caught them mid-attack, we did not realize that they had already injected the venom until they ran away. They should not be hunting in this area, anyway. But we were too late to stop them once they started feeding from you."

"What does vampiric mean?" I asked, ignoring his waffling.

"It's exactly what it says on the tin," Rosalie said from across the room, folding her arms. "Isn't it obvious?" I raised an eyebrow, Doctor Cullen finally answering my question.

"You're a vampire, Edward."

I was surprised to find that the next sound that filled the room was laughter… but I was even more surprised to realize that I was the one who was laughing. It was fucking stupid, I know, but I just couldn't stop. I almost forgot my burning throat as I doubled over in laughter at the good doctor's words. It was just too funny. I was waiting for Ashton to jump out on me, now, and tell me Bella had Punked me or something. I even found myself searching the room for hidden cameras as I laughed. Everyone else's serious faces told me that I shouldn't be laughing.

I finally calmed down enough to speak. "Bullshit."

"No, Edward," Alice said.

"You're bullshitting me," I chuckled. "You have to be."

"I know that this is a difficult thing to understand," Carlisle said. "And it is completely normal to mask your feelings with laughter and humor."

"I'm not masking anything," I smiled. "Because this is fucking bullshit. Vampires don't exist, I learnt that when I was 8."

"How else do you explain the over-sensitive hearing?" Rosalie asked.

I looked to her, my smile soon fading. "How… how did you know that?"

"We all go through it, Sweetheart," Esme said. "It's one of the characteristics of what we are. It's like the new-found vision and the feeding, it will get easier as you get used to it."

"No," I yelled, probably a little louder than was really necessary. "It isn't a characteristic because vampires don't exist. It's bullshit. It's probably just some overactive flu that's messing with my head and I'll be recovered in a week."

But I felt my argument growing weaker and weaker with each word I spoke. How could Rosalie truly have known about my hearing? This wasn't normal, I'd already accepted that. But knowing my symptoms without looking me over or asking me first? Well, that shit was fucking weird. A part of me feared they were onto something, but the other part, the more rational and sane part, knew all this vampire talk was stupid.

Vampires just don't exist…

But the yelling once again brought me back to my burning throat and my hands clutched at the skin again.

"You must be hungry," Doctor Cullen said. "Alice, do you have the bag of blood?"

Blood?

She appeared at his side and handed him a bag of red and thick liquid.

"I get these from the hospital," he explained as he ripped the bag open with his teeth. "We try not to use them often as we prefer to hunt, but it's always a good idea to keep a few nice bags of A-positive around."

I didn't even hear his words, because as soon as the scent of the blood reached my nose, I leapt. I don't know why I did it, it felt like I was acting purely on instinct, my body moving of its own accord, but as soon as I smelt it, I wanted it. I snatched the bag from his hands, drinking the blood as quickly as my throat would allow, glugging the liquid as fast as possible. I didn't even have time to be repulsed by my own actions; my only priority was to numb the burning.

And it did. It didn't completely clear the burn, but it eased it, making the itch more bearable. I cleared the bag and cast it aside. "More," I begged, needing the burning to die just a little more. Alice handed me another bag and I drank that one a little more slowly.

But the more I drank, the more realization began to dawn on me. I was drinking blood… Blood! Who the fuck drinks blood apart from weirdoes and freaks in cults? Okay, so I know vampires drink blood, too, but vampires do not exist. They only exist in stories, books and films. This is real life, not some stupid story. Vampires are make believe, not real.

I cast the bag aside when I was finally finished and I dropped my head into my hands, my chest heaving in fearful breaths. What was I becoming?

"Why did I just do that?" I whispered.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Like I said, it's the vampiric way you have to live now," Doctor Cullen explained. "Your instincts are coming forward."

I shook my head and let out a loud cry. I wasn't a vampire… I wasn't.

xXx

I remained at the Cullen's house for at least a week after that first morning, locking myself in that small bedroom with only bags of blood and my own thoughts for company. Doctor Cullen, Alice, and Jasper kept me company when they could, but I never wanted them there. All I wanted was myself. I needed to be alone.

I needed to come to terms with what I was becoming.

My cell phone often rang, providing another form of company, but I never answered it. How could I? I'd been gone an entire week without a single word, but I couldn't tell anyone where I was or what was wrong with me, because I could barely fucking understand it myself. How do I explain to my parents and Bella that I'm shacked up in the town's leading-doctor's house, filling up on blood and seeing bright colors? Now, that doesn't exactly make much sense, does it?

Like I said, I barely understand this myself.

But I knew they were worried. How could they not be? Wouldn't you be worried if your son goes missing for a week? Wouldn't it freak you out if your best friend just disappears without a word? My mom and dad had left me seventy-two missed calls, twenty-four voice mails, and eighty-three text messages in total and I had to wonder if they'd filed a missing persons claim with all the worry they had. But Bella won them out in the end. A hundred and six missed calls, forty-eight voice mails and ninety-five text messages. I dreaded to think about what their phone bills would be.

I listened to some of the voice mails she'd sent me as I sat there drinking the blood, and I found it calmed me somewhat. I just needed to hear her voice, I needed to have some part of her with me, and listening to her words kept me sane and safe.

This was the longest I'd ever gone without seeing my Bellsy-Boo. The longest before this was when she was 10 and I was 11. Charlie and Renee had sent Bella and Emmett to summer-camp whilst my parents opted to keep me at home. Bella's sister, Bree, was only a few weeks old at the time, so she didn't exactly provide me with much company! Bellsy-Boo lasted 4 days without me before she rang home, crying down the phone, begging her dad to take her home. He did, and I got my Bella back for the entire summer.

A week without her now was fucking killing me.

But her most recent voicemail was the one that broke me, it was the one that made me realize that, no matter how bad I was feeling or how fucked up I was, I needed to go home. I couldn't stay here anymore in hiding whilst I came to terms with what was happening to me. Whether I was a so-called vampire or not, my Bella needed me and I had to go to her.

I was lying on my bed, willing sleep to come at the time. I'd been trying to sleep all week, but I just… couldn't. I'd been wide-awake for a whole fucking week. I didn't even feel tired. I wasn't surprised by this, it was just another weird symptom to add to the ever-growing list of weird-things-Edward-Cullen-can-now-seem-to-do. On top of improved hearing, improved vision, speed, strength and blood consumption, lack of sleep seemed like a breeze. Still, my phone rang out before going to voice mail.

I waited a good hour before listening to it, but when I did, it broke my heart.

Her voice was so broken and dead that it physically hurt to listen to it. You could hear her tears and sense her fear as she begged me to call her and come home. She pleaded with me to get in touch before proceeding to tell me how much she missed me and loved me. I couldn't even hear the end of it, I cut the line before the message had even finished.

She needed me, my Bellsy-Boo needed her Eddy-Bear. I'd never let her down before and I fucking refused to start now. Vampires be damned. I had to go to Bella. So I did. I didn't have a lot to gather, just my jacket and a bag of blood that I slipped into my jacket pocket. I zipped up my coat and swung open the bedroom door, determination set on my face. I put my speed to good use and bolted down the stairs… only to find Doctor Cullen and Jasper in my way.

"Move," I said, trying to push past them. They blocked me.

"No," Jasper stated.

"Edward, you can't go, not yet," Doctor Cullen explained. "You're a newborn, you need our help."

"I'm not a fucking newborn and I'm not a fucking vampire," I seethed, trying to push past them again. This time I succeeded. A small part of me wondered if they had simply let me go. "All I know is that my best friend needs me, so I'm going to her." I ran out of the house.

"Edward…!" Doctor Cullen yelled after me, but I was too far gone into the night to even hear him or care…

I'm also on Twitter if anybody cares. I'm rachydoodle03. The link is on my profile.