Chapter 3: Hero Of The Story
I'm rarely ever considered a hero in my life. I've hurt people from Hunter Helmsly to Stephanie McMahon. It doesn't matter if they are boys or if they are girls. I hurt them if they get in my way. And with that being said, how can it be that Nolee looks at me like I'm some sort of knight in shining armor. Doesn't she know how bad of a person I am?
Every day he looks in to the mirror,
And sees the lines that tell him time has passed.
He wonders if he's gaining on tomorrow,
When his yesterdays keep piling up so fast.
I sit here in our hotel room, watching her sleep. It seems as if every time I find a girl like her something happens to make that girl stop loving me. Before I knew I had I.E.D. there was Stacy Kiebler. I had ruined that one by giving her an RKO after I felt threatened that she was going to leave me for The Undertaker. I hated myself for a long time for that one. Then there was Samantha. She knew about my I.E.D and I was even engaged to her. However, my being gone most of the time with the WWE and not telling her where I was going must have made her angry because I came home one day to see her in bed with a young man that had cleaned out our pool. And finally there was Kelly. She admittedly was a drunk booty call and I had broke her heart when I told her as much. But Nolee….she's different. She's not like most other girls and I can't stand to see her in pain. My hear breaks every time she's in a match and I hear her cry out in pain. It just hurts.
And he reads about the market
And he thinks of all the times
There would have been a million there
If he'd have had a dime
As she starts to wake up I go back to pretending like I am sleeping. Out of the corner of my partially open eye I see her roll over to look at me. I smile as she kisses my cheek and scoots closer to me. I hear her whisper, "Yeh perfect. I'm so glad I have you." I can feel my heart beating in my chest and I don't want to say anything least I ruin the moment for us. She closes her eyes again and falls asleep so I open mine. It confounds me how she can think of me as a hero. I've hurt so many people. I have ruined so many relationships. I shouldn't be the kind of man she is in love with. If anything I should be the kind of man she detests. I mean, for god sakes I RKO'd her mentor Jerry Lawler just for the hell of it once. If she were the one who would have attacked my mentor I would have never forgiven her. I can't see how she can stand me. But she can't see how much I need her in my life. She's the last bit of goodness I have in my heart, the anchor that's keeping me from growing cold and evil alone. I don't know why but for some reason, I can't imagine living my life without her.
And I guess he doesn't know
He's worth his weight in gold
Because the hero of the story never dies.
Every day he tries to fix what's broken,
I close my eyes and I reduce myself just to listening to her breath. It's subtle and soft, sweet and surreal. She's both my best dream and my worst nightmare. She's my dream when she's like this and when she's sweet: letting herself be known and bearing her heart and soul for me. She's my worst enemy when she lets her inhibitions go and does whatever it takes to win. I know what it's like to feel warmth when she looks at me and holds me and I know what it's like to know hatred when I do something cold or say something ruthless. She loves me without caring about all of my faults. Never before have I seen a girl who is willing to forgive me for the things that I have done. I sit up as I hear her say, "Yeh don't have to pretend to be asleep."
I smile as I realize exactly how alike we are, she was doing the same thing that I was. "How long have you been awake?" I smile.
"I never went to sleep." Nolee smiles up at me. Her head is resting against my chest.
He tries to keep our lives in good repair.
And tends the seams where damaged dreams were mended,
Until you'd never know a break was ever there.
And he'll bandage up an elbow,
"So you've just been laying here."
"Pretty much." Nolee smiles. I laugh as she nuzzles my chest, "Why do yeh look so sad? Yeh look like you've been crying."
"Not crying sweetie but…I'm just thinking about things that have gone on." I smile.
"Such as?"
"How can you think of me as a hero? I've hurt people who are close to you. Hell, I even hurt the man you consider to be your mentor. If I were you I wouldn't trust nor love me."
"Is there a reason I shouldn't trust yeh?" she asks.
"No."
"And since there is no reason that I shouldn't love yeh, I pretty much guess yeh my hero. I mean, Randy, yeh saved me from a life of heartache. I had made bad choices that I was starting to hate myself for and here yeh come along to prove to me that I was worth loving. If that's not enough, yeh always there for me when I have a bad match or if I'm just having a bad day in general. Yeh sweet, loving, and all around just a good guy. I love yeh."
He'll sand and saw and seal.
He'll mitre and he'll measure
And he'll treasure what is real.
I guess he doesn't know
I smile, "And that makes me a hero?"
"That makes yeh more of a hero than Superman or Batman were." Nolee giggles. She sits up and smiles, "Why, don't yeh think that yeh a hero?"
"If anything I'm a villain." I sigh.
"Yeh not a villain. Sure, yeh cold and caluculated and methodical at times but that just makes yeh a great fighter. Now, why don't yeh try to get some sleep."
I nod, "Sleep sounds good."
We hung the moon for me
Because the hero of the story never dies
For everytime a hero kills a dragon,
In once upon a time and far away.
As she finally falls asleep, I smile to myself. So I may not be the best of guys but I'm not a villain. Either way, I'm just glad that she loves me.