A/N: Hello All!

I know, I know, I know. It's been too long! Long story short my computer died on me and I had to wait to get a new one. This chapter has been rewritten from the original and some changes have been made…

I hope you all won't try to murder me when this chapter is over.

It's long though….and it will advance up to the part in why Edward isn't around in the future! :DDD I know right! Finally!

I also have terrific news! I might have a Beta…so once I get a reply back and the beta has a chance to look at it then I will repost this chapter with the Beta'd version…

Thank you for all the reviews and alerts! You all make my heart swell with pride for my story Sparks that I work really hard on! Without any of the readers I wouldn't be writing this and I hope you all are enjoying the ride so far!

I'm sorry I haven't had a chance to reply to reviews I was so focused on getting this out to you guys that I didn't have time.

Thank you all again.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight…but Twilight owns my heart…

Chapter 14: BPOV past continued.

"W-who are you?"

The question lingered in the air and I just sat there dumbfounded.

How do you answer that question with out losing faith in everything that you loved? Especially when they don't even remember who you are? I didn't know what to say and my heart began to break at the momentous crap that was turning out to be my life! If my mother could see me now would she pity me? Would she tell me that I should have been more careful? Would she of told me to be strong and fight? I was at a loss and I didn't know what to do.

My breaths came in heavy pants and I glanced from Edwards green probing eyes to the worried glances his mother and father were giving me.

Apart of me was hoping I would pass out and faint. However I was in no such luck because all I was succeeding to do was hyperventilate.

I felt myself acting on instinct in order to protect whatever was left of my shattered life. I wanted to run and hide but knowing that I didn't have the strength to fight anyone or anything I sat there stunned.

I couldn't stop myself from looking at those beautiful green orbs and I found my self becoming lost again in their depths. Those questioning eyes filled with wonder and amazement.

"Edward son, we will be right back." Carlisle and Esme stepped forward to kiss their son on the forehead before walking out of the room and closing the door behind them.

It was eerily quiet and I found my self looking down at the ground and absently rubbing my stomach.

"I'm sorry." I heard him whisper and looked up in shock.

"Why are you sorry?"

"I don't remember who you are, but my body still remembers. I can feel… I am confused. I feel like I know I should know you, but I don't." His voice was quiet. "I can feel…I feel I know you are important."

I looked up at him to see a determined look on his face. His eyes drifted from mine and down to my stomach where they stayed.

"My name is Isabella Swan, but everyone calls me Bella."

"Bella…" He trailed off, thinking to him self. "Will you tell me?"

I knew what he was asking and yet I was at a cross roads. Could I do this? Could I keep this from him? I wasn't sure.

However seeing the look in his eyes and the determination he seemed to have to want to know I found my self letting it all out.

"Edward it is now November 2010, and we met back in September the day before my 24th birthday." I breathed in deep. "My friend Alice is dating your brother Jasper, and Emmett is dating Rosalie the blond that you will see with him. She is also Alice's twin sister and my best friend as well. You came with them to my birthday party and you had lied to me." I smiled a little about the history we shared.

"You told me you were twenty one and a college student and we sort of got together that night."

He gulped.

"We did?" He seemed genuinely surprised.

I nodded my accent.

"We exchanged numbers that night and made plans to see each other again, but I ended up running into you at a bar the following night. We have sort of been seeing each other since then."

"You mean to tell me I have been going out with a 24 year old and I'm what 16?"

Again I nodded. "Pretty much."

"Wholly shit."

He smiled at me. "I guess I didn't do so badly. If you don't mind me being so forward but I think you're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." I blushed at that.

"Well you were always the charmer Edward."

"How did you find out I was 16 if I told you I was 21?"

"Well Edward," I said clasping my hands together to keep from fidgeting. "You will learn again that Alice can be quite nosey in our lives."

"How did we get in here?" Motioning to our state of clothing.

"You were driving and a semi driver ran a red light."

"Wow, no wonder I feel like I just got pummeled into a brick wall."

"I think that's enough story time. You look beat." I talked almost in a whisper because I could hear Carlisle and Esme outside the door.

"I think perhaps you are right. My parents were trying to give us a moment but I can feel my mother on the other side of that door just waiting to burst in."

I had to chuckle a little at that. Esme is the reason I knew real mothers existed out in the world.

"Bella?"

I lifted my eyes to his again.

"Will you come back?"

I smiled softly and tears threatened to fall. "I'll be back every day… if you want me to be?" I asked in a question.

"I think—think I would like that very much."

Edwards smile lit up the room and I couldn't help remember the last few moments we shared when he was still my Edward.

I left after a few moments more together. He never brought up the fact I had a baby bump and I didn't want to overwhelm him with so much responsibility since he barely just woke up. I was proud of myself I had been honest with him.

For now…

Not even a moment later Esme and Carlisle were back.

I looked at Esme and she was starring at me. Giving me the knowing look…

The one that said… "Did you tell him?" All I could do was shake my head once in a no motion.

Her eyes saddened then and I politely excused myself to go to my own room. One of the nurses came into the room and wheeled me back since Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rose seemed to have disappeared.

I told the nurse I needed a human moment and had her help me to the bathroom. After she walked out I stood in the mirror taking in my appearance.

The first thing I noticed was my eyes. There were dark shadows under them and my brown colored eyes looked even more muddled brown than usual. My face was pale and my hair hung in disarray since I hadn't had a chance to brush my hair in a few days.

"Who am I?" I whispered to myself. I had no answer.

"Where do you see yourself in five years?" I had no freaking clue…

"Can I do this to Edward? Can I really be responsible from taking away his chance to being a normal teenager?"

There was no hesitation in my next answer. No, no I can not be responsible for that. Edward was destined for greatness. This accident was a sign.

A do-over for him.

That what happened was nothing compared to what could have been.

He could have died.

That thought sickened me to my core and I spent the next few remaining minutes in the bathroom throwing up what little I had in my system… water.

I finally used the tooth brush and ran my fingers through my hair to make myself more presentable. I pulled the pull cord in the bathroom and the nurse came to my side to make sure I made it safely. I was still very weak from being out the last few days. With the baby and everything it was important I take extra precautions.

I was only in my bed for a few minutes when the door swung open and closed and in came Alice.

"Bella…"she said as she came over and lay in the bed with me.

"Tell me what to do and I'll do anything." She whispered in to my hair and held me as silent tears fell from my eyes.

"I didn't tell Edward about the baby. He knows that we were together and how we met and about our relationship and the accident."

"So you're not going to tell him at all?"

"I'm not sure Alice but in the mean time I want everyone else to keep there mouths shut."

I gave her a pointed glance.

"I won't say anything Bella. This for once is out of my territory. Just do me one favor please Bella?" She paused. "Just promise me whatever decision you make that you remember you have people who love you and will do anything for you and if you need me I am there for you. You are like a sister to me you know this. I just want to make sure that whatever decision you make you can live with."

"I know Alice and I think I know the answer to that finally."

She didn't ask anymore. I think she stayed until I fell asleep because when I woke up she was gone and Carlisle was back in my room again.

"Hello there Bella."

"Hey Doc."

"You know Edward has been up since 7 a.m. asking when you were going to go across the hall and see him." He gave me a pointed glance.

I couldn't help but smile.

Carlisle helped me stand up and catch my balance and when I looked at the clock I noticed it was 10:30 in the morning.

I smiled at Carlisle and he walked with me to Edwards's room and he left me at the door.

When I walked into Edward's room a bright smile lit his face and he immediately motioned me to the chair closest to his bed.

"Hey Bella."

"Hi." I said shyly.

"How was your night?" He asked.

"It was alright. I could have slept better." In your arms. I wanted to add but didn't.

He cocked his head to the side as if he were trying to read my mind.

It was silent for a few minutes before he said.

"So you're my girlfriend, right?" I was stunned by his question and I gulped audibly.

"Um—you could say that."

"Then can I ask you a favor?"

I quirked an eyebrow and he chuckled.

"Will you hold my hand?"

I looked at him for a second before reaching my hand out to his left that he held out to me. Our hands clasped together and that familiar humm was back.

This was Edward. My Edward. Its just his mind didn't know me, however his body did.

I smiled inwardly at that.

"Is this okay?" I whispered. Not wanting to break the trance we were in apparently.

He nodded his head. "Yes, in fact it feels—right?"

I nodded my head in agreement. "Yeah I know. You get used to it after awhile." I chuckled a little.

"So can you tell me—more?"

"More?" I repeated.

"Yeah… can you tell me more about us?"

I cleared my throat. "What did you want to know?"

"Are you in love with me?"

The air left my lungs. I looked at the man in the bed beside me.

"Yes, I am."

"Did I love you back?"

"Yes, in fact I am sure you love me more."

"I do?"

I nodded.

"I can feel it—that I think I feel the love for you. I can't quite put my finger on it but my body and heart knows it loves you. But my head just doesn't want to reconnect."

I smiled sadly at that.

It was quiet again.

"What's your favorite color?" He shot off randomly. But I knew what he was trying to do.

"Green."

"Favorite book?"

"Ah- I am currently stuck in the Jane Austin section right now."

He stroked his chin with his free hand.

"Can I ask you a personal question?"

"Sure."

I looked up in time to see him blush which was something I barely get to see him do.

I smiled. "What? Just spit it out Edward."

"Have we done it a lot?"

I furrowed my brow. "Done what enough?"

He gave me a pointed look and the wheels started to turn in my head and next thing I know I am the one blushing.

I cleared my throat. "How much is a lot?"

He never answered he just smiled at me. Grinning like a goofball with a big fat cheesy smile on his face.

"I still can't believe what Emmett said. My first time at a party, with you. I can't believe you stole my innocence Bella." He gave me a pointed glance.

I sucked in a lungful of air and brought my hand to my mouth in utter shock. Trying to stop my mouth from doing the open mouth fish thing I had going on.

"I-I-I WHAT!"

He looked at me confused. "You didn't know that I was a… you know, virgin?"

"Oh my god. Oh my god. I am going to hell-so going to hell for this." I repeated over and over again.

Edward was silent while I finished my ramblings. He looked sad again and for some reasons that look on his face reminded me of earlier times when I felt he was too young for me. Too young for this, I looked down at my stomach and for the first time I wished it would disappear.

"Bella?"

I didn't say anything.

"You're pregnant aren't you?"

My hand that was stroking my stomach froze.

This was it—this was the moment.

My eyes were waiting to betray what I would say next.

"Yes."

"Is it mine?"

My eyes flashed to him and I wasn't able to read his face.

"N-no."

He looked at me and it seemed like a hurt expression came upon his face. Like he knew I was lying. But he made no indication to say otherwise.

"Do you know what the sex of the baby is yet?"

I shook my head no. Not trusting my own voice right now.

"Are you alone?"

Well that was a loaded question.

"Yes."

It was quiet for a moment.

"Well… you're not anymore because I want to help. I'll be there to help with whatever you might need. You aren't getting rid of me that easily. I feel like I need to push myself on you. And that's a promise."

I looked at him with a questioning look. I tell him it isn't his baby—which it totally is—and he still wants to help?

"Why?"

"Because Bella, I am still in love with you."

Yeah I don't think he believed me at all.

XXXXXXX

True to his word though the second Edward was out of the hospital he kept up with everything. Readjusting back into high school life and even picked up a part time job doing some labor around town shoveling snow off of peoples drive ways and things like that.

When I had asked him why he didn't want a better paying job he said he liked the flexibility and incase I needed him he could come.

He was there when I found out the sex of the baby and he held me when I cried my eyes out that I was having a baby girl. He thought I was crying happy tears and they were. But I was also devastated at what I was doing to Edward. He got all the perks but none of the down turns. Well that's what I kept telling myself to justify not telling him.

He was there through it all including every single doctor's appointment, every birthing class, and even came to a couple of my first timers parenting classes. When I finally asked him about it he just said, "in case you need a night off I can watch her."

He then shrugged his shoulders like it was nothing. Like what he was doing was the most natural thing in the world.

Edward never got back the memories of our time together, and I was neither happy nor sad about it—just numb.

Edward and I had created a bubble life of sorts. He had his school and studies but on the weekends Esme and Carlisle practically dropped him off on my doorstep every weekend always leaving me a pointed glance.

I had hit a rough patch with them when they found out about me not telling Edward the whole truth… so they tried to throw money at me to help compensate. Eventually I relented when I got closer to my due date and Edward still to this day has no idea about them putting money in my account every month—against my will. They even started an account for Emma.

The evening of May 3rd, was a Friday and Edward was dropped at my place at 5 o'clock.

I had thrown on some maternity blue jeans and a white top that fitted my curves. I looked in the mirror and smiled. I rubbed my large belly and took in my appearance.

I was going to miss being this big.

I was lucky during my pregnancy I got to eat whatever I wanted and I only gained weight where baby Emma was now almost full term.

"Your glowing you know." I turned to see Edward leaning in the doorway.

I rolled my eyes. "Don't make me regret making you a key to get in here."

He snorted. "Trust me you don't."

I sighed. "I know."

I walked over to him and he wrapped his arms around me to bring me closer to him and leaned in to kiss me.

Whenever he did this he always reached to touch my stomach and this look would always appear on his face. It almost looked like he felt his baby and the need to touch my stomach were because of that connection. But just like a lot of moments it is fleeting and forgotten as soon as it happens.

When Edward kisses me it's the most natural thing in the world. It feels like the Edward I knew from before. But to tell you the truth Edward is still the same caring man that I fell in love with. Even with memory loss.

It took a while for Edward and I to get back into a somewhat 'normal' relationship. With these pregnancy hormones I can go from sleepy to full on sex drive in five seconds flat so Edward got to take advantage of that perk many times over.

Was I a selfish woman? Yes.

Did I deserve Edward after what I am continuing to do to him? No.

But I can't tell him the truth; I am selfish enough to at least have this small piece of him even though I refuse to let him have all of me.

He pulled away and placed his hand on my tummy.

"I love you and baby Emma."

I smiled with guilt eating me away.

"We love you too," Daddy.

"I was thinking—"and that's when I pull away.

I knew exactly what he is thinking. "No, Edward."

"Why not?"

"Because of school, college, career—you remember that? That is what's most important."

"I can still do all of those things. I am going to be seventeen soon Bella you can't keep hiding from me."

"I am not hiding."

"Then why can't we be together—together? Why won't you even think about marrying me? You, Emma, and me together that's what feels right." He started pacing the room.

I watched him go through this many times before. I would tell him because I didn't want too. He would tell me that's not a reason. One of us would start pacing, while the other would stand there huffing at the other. Edward will run his hands through his hair. Then one of us would walk off. Then an hour later we would find each other and have the best sex ever. This started about three months ago.

Except this conversation never got passed Edward putting his hands through his hair because at that exact moment my water broke.

Then Edward really got to pacing around, trying to find everything while I called the family to get them to the hospital. Then not four hours later Emma was born, and Edward held her for the first time.

Emma was born with very light hazel eyes and dark brown hair and she smelled like innocence and beauty and heaven all rolled into perfection, and six pounds 2 ounces. She was healthy in every way.

I guess I was hoping for him to remember and feel the connection and I guess in his own way he did.

"Baby Emma, I'm Edward and I am going to help take care of you." He cooed over her.

He never knew that Emma was his and he wasn't surprised when Emma came out looking exactly like me. I wasn't sure if I was relieved or even sadder than I already was.

The first time I held Emma she fit perfectly tucked into my arms. Problems forgotten she had been worth it all. Guilt ate at me again as I realized I had ruined this moment for Edward.

Edwards family, and mine were there and even though they were incredibly happy for me they also wanted to praise Edward but knew they couldn't for helping make this wonderful gift to the world.

XXXXXXXX

It had been two days in the hospital and Edward had been with us the whole time. I tucked Emma into her car seat and watched her yawn and stretch in her seat making cute little gurgling noises.

"You ready mama?" I turned and smiled.

"Yeah Edward I'm ready."

And for once in my life I was.

XXXXXXXX

Edward had been here until he finished high school but then just like I knew it would, the opportunity of a life time came upon Edward, and I practically threw him out of my place trying to get him to go.

Edward had been offered a full ride for college at UCLA in California as far from here as you could get.

He didn't want to go but I convinced him with monthly visits from Emma and me and told him how he could always fly here too.

He finally relented.

"Why do I have to go?"

"Edward seriously? UCLA is a great school and if you ever want to write as a career this school will be perfect. Now stop worrying. Emma is one and a half you were here for most of her firsts…anything that comes up I will video tape. Ok?"

He sighed. "Jeesh woman I miss when you were pregnant and horny all the time and wanted me."

It was a bitter sweet moment. But I knew that this is what was meant to be and what needed to happen. He needed to move on and I had all but provided the open window, the rope to climb down on and the plane ticket figuratively speaking.

XXXXXXXX

Half way through the summer I watched him bored his plane with baby Emma next to me as we watched her father take off for the college that would make his dreams a reality.

"You ready to go, baby?"

I bent down and picked my little girl up and held her to me as tears fell from my eyes. The car ride home was a quiet affair, however it didn't stay quiet. Emma cried all night long.

E/N: Alright guys let me hear what you guys think! I can't wait to read what you guys thought of this chapter!

Thanks for reading.

Love, ColormeRed